Bad Mother??

[Scottish_Maleficent]

Feeling a bit stressed tonight.
Started work at 7am this morning and finished at three, then picked up kids, took them to football practice, back to pick them up an horu later then home to make dinner. Homework done, washing in, kids bathed, ready to go to bed when DS (7) bit DS (6) on the arm. It is really badly bruised....and I was so angry I smacked him on the bottom. I then confiscated his Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and told him no TV or X-Box for a week. When he got a bit stroppy at the prospect of having tidying his room as it was a tip I threatened to throw his toys out the window - I did actually open the bedroom window and held a box of lego near the window. When he got into bed I told him if he wanted to carry on like that he would need to find another family to live with because I wouldn't be putting up with it.
I feel guilty now as I feel I've gone too far. PMS is probably to blame, but it's not an excuse. But I just feel so tired tonight and now I'm sitting here having a wee cry thinking I'm a bad mother.........but how do I make him realise that behaviour is not acceptable??

Sorry for the moan

 

[jen_uk]

You are not a bad mother! Im not suprised you snapped after such a stressful and busy day! You need to stick by the punishment of no tv etc or he will learn that you never carry out your threats. Have you tried doing a good behaviour chart where you give a sticker for good behaviour and take one away for bad, when he has say 10 stickers you treat him to something small, it does work.

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[mandymouse]

Poor Cath, we've all been there, I'm sure after a good nights sleep you'll sort it all out in the morning

 

[shellbell]

Cath you are not a bad mother. Sometimes our children know what buttons to press and then we blow. I seems to be shouting at Lucy more and more at the minute as she seems to be going through a stage. She plays up then i react by shouting, we both end up upset and always feel guilty. Your not a bad mother, you wouldn't be feeling like this if you were. Sending you

Hope your feeling better now

Michelle

 

[ely3857]

Honestly...

My mother would have done EXACTLY the same to me, and she would follow it through if nessesary and i'm not in therapy so cant be all bad.



Jodie

 

[wilma-bride]

You have done nothing worng at all Cath. We all have days when we over-react slightly to bad behaviour. Your son will, hopefully, have learned his lesson about biting and, after a good night's slepp (for both of you), things will look better in the morning.

If it makes you feel any better, when I have had a particularly stressful day at work, my DS tends to get the brunt of my bad mood and then I feel guilty for snapping at him when I've hardly seen him all day.

These things happen to everyone - and, anyway, there's no such thing as a perfect parent.

 

[Miffy2003]

Dear Cath,

No you are not a bad mother.

Sometimes when I am tired / stressed / whatever I snap at the children (or Jon ) when they don't deserve it. We are all human!!

 

[mrsminniemouse]

I know how you feel. My DD has hit the terrible twos and is being a little madam. I am at home with her every day and it is REALLY wearing me down. I have been very cross with her a lot lately and then felt terrible. But, we wouldn't be any good to our kids if we didn't discipline them.

Hope you feel better tomorrow,
Mandy

 

[Netty]

cath your doing fine. kids will get you down now and then, we all have our off days and feel awful, kids know their limits and boundries and try to push them from time to time.

my house is mayhem every night when my 2 girls argue and fight over every little thing!! the thing is they are aged 19 and 14! more like 3 and 4 year olds though!

 

[sharon78]

O dear Cath..as Supernanny would say "you lost it"
Never mind, we all do it at some point..youve had a very busy day and as others have said were only human
Your not a bad mother,if you was you wouldnt be feeling like this,it happens to us all.They play up,we "lose it",then guilt sets in.
Have a good night wipe away your tears and tomorrows another day

Take care

 

[Ware Bears]

Aww Cath, looking at the photo of your two little fellas I can't believe they ever play up!!!
Seriously though, you're not a bad mum at all, just a normal one. I never raised my voice at all until I had kids, now I can shout with the best of them.

Lots of for you, get a good night sleep and you'll feel much better tomorrow.

 

[vicky1bfc]

Cath we have all have days like that.Your def not a bad mother or if you are i must be as well.

 

[wils]

I agree with the above you are not a bad mother. I hope all look brighter this morning

Jo

 

[orlando novice]

I think you are NORMAL, I have three small children and work three days a week, life is stressful and children can and are hard work. I have a sleep chart, 5 mins off for bad behaviour and 5 on for very good behaviour, seems to work (sometimes!!!)

 

[natalielongstaff]

cath we have all been in that situation at least once !! you are not a bad mother beleive me. i hope you feel better this morning

 

[Tink78]

Aw, poor you.
I agree with everyone.

But you must stick to the punishment otherwise he will think he can get away with it again next time.

Hope things are looking better today.

 

[carolfoy]

Oh Cath I could have written that post myself! Sometimes I just snap and go mental for no good reason, I can't help it, suppose its the stress of coping on my own! can't go home and grumble to a 9 year old when you've had a bad day can you? please don't beat yourself up about it, it'll all be forgotton soon, and I will probably get flamed for this but I think you did the right thing over the biting incident, children shouldn't be allowed to do that or next time they'll get their teeth knocked out by a much bigger kid so please don't worry

 

[KayleeUK]

for you Cath. How are things today?

 

[Lisash]

If you're a bad mother I am too! I seem to spend half my life breaking up arguing kids. Hope things seem brighter today. Sending you

 

[Madjock]

Cath, as others said we’ve all been there, done it and bought the t-shirt!

I got so sick and tired of coming home from work to a house that looked like a bomb had gone off in a toy shop that I warned the girls that if I came home the next night and it was the same I would make them pick everything up, put it in a black bag and leave it out for the bin man. Did I do it? You bet! Did I feel bad? No I felt absolutely awful!!! But now when I ask them to tidy up their toys the minute they start complaining I just get the black bag out and whoosh they start clearing up. Sometimes you have to follow through.

As for making him understand what’s acceptable and what’s not I would suggest sitting him down in the cold light of day when you’ve both calmed down and just have a wee chat with him once the angers gone it’s easier to make them understand why, just ditch the guilt though as kids can smell it a mile off.

Hope today’s better.

Annmarie