Bad Bridesmaids!

[SanFranciscan]

I have been reading the book "Bad Bridesmaid" by Siri Agrell. It is entertaining light reading, and it leads me to the following question.

How many of you have been bridesmaids? What did you think of the experience? I have never been asked to serve in that role. If that book is an honest account of what it is like, I will make sure that I never accept if I am asked.

 

[Aisling]

I've been a bridesmaid in 3 weddings, and all three had problems with the girls. In one, the bride wanted us all to wear our long hair up, and one girl refused because she said it wasn't flattering. The bride gave in.
Another one there was a big fight at the bridal shower because one of the bridesmaids felt left out because she wasn't asked to help choose the theme. The maid of honor did it.
The most recent one had two of the brides maids complaining about their groomsmen partners. C'mon, you don't have to marry the guy, just pose for pictures and walk out of the church arm in arm. Then you can dump him.

The poor brides had a lot of stress because of these girls.

Oh yeah, one girl said the dress was too expensive, and she knew she would be replaced if she couldn't pay for her dress. She carried on even during the fittings. She could have afforded it, but thought somethingnless expensive would be better. So many of us just wanted to slap her silly. She was also the one who said that daisies were cheap looking flowers, but that was the bride's choice. This girl had been a good friend of the bride since elementary school, so her selfish behavior was a surprise.


I'm waiting for a BridesMaidZillas show, since the brides in these weddings were sweet girls.

 

[C.Ann]

I was asked - and politely declined.. The dress alone was over $300 and the most hideous thing I had ever seen! The matching "hat" was $150 - the mandatory matching shoes were $75 - and on and on..

I never would have worn the dress, hat, or shoes again (I'm a jeans kind of gal) and my late DH was battling cancer and the medical bills just kept piling up.. I couldn't afford it - plain and simple - and it would have been financially irresponsible to spend that kind of money anyhow..

Sadly - this was my sister.. But she understood 100%..

 

[NY Disney fan]

I was considered a bad bridemaid b/c the Maid of Honor wanted to throw a really expensive bachleorette party with Limo and all kinds of expensive things (spa, restaurant). After paying for the wedding related things (not mention paying for my mortgage, which the MOH didn't have) I told them "I cannot afford a fancy bachelorette party, just have it without me!" Well the MOH thought I was a bad bridesmaid b/c of that.

 

[LadyyRedd]

I've been 3 times and all 3 were great experiences for me. I was MOH two of those times.

Kimya

 

[islangrl]

I have been a bridesmaid 2 times. Both brides were great, so no horror stories. The biggest thing is how much money is involved in being a bridesmaid. Dress, shoes, hair, travel..it all adds up.
I had lots of fun at all the wedding activities.

I 'm gonna go check out that book it sounds funny.

Girls who are high-maintenance everyday usually turn into bride-zillas. So stay away when they announce their engagements.

 

[KimR]

I was the Bridesmaid from Hell a few weeks ago. It was my sisters wedding, and as the Maid of Honor, I was responsible for the wedding ring. Well, I'm scatterbrained and I forgot it - I didn't realize it until I had walked down the aisle and my future BIL (who knows me all too well) asked if I had it. He said the look of horror on my face was priceless. We laugh about it now but it wasn't funny for me at all at the time.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I've been a bridesmaid twice. Both times the dresses were homemade.

The first dress was a pretty deep pink color which looked great on the other girls, but not so much on me. At the time I didn't know much about selecting color to enhance my coloring, I always just thought I was ghastly pale with yellowish skin, nothing was going to make it look better. But even if I had known, I wouldn't have complained, it was my friend's day. I was one of several bridesmaids, so I really wasn't that involved other than dress fittings and the big day.

The second time I was in a very small wedding with only two attendants, and the other attendant was also my good friend. We got along great, but the bride was a bit of a bridezilla that day, and yelled at the other bridesmaid, who then burst into tears and refused to come out of the bathroom. The bride eventually began to take it out on the groomsmen, until the groom pulled her aside, said WHO KNOWS WHAT very quietly, and handed her a drink to calm her down. After that she was totally fine.

 

[NY Disney fan]

The first dress was a pretty deep pink color which looked great on the other girls, but not so much on me.

Ah yes, I remember this. In the last wedding I was in, the bridesmaid dresses were in a color I would have NEVER worn. Turquoise. All the bridesmaids had blue eyes except me. I thought the dress look God-awful on me. Not to mention, I gave birth a few months before so I was fat as hell.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

I have been reading the book "Bad Bridesmaid" by Siri Agrell. It is entertaining light reading, and it leads me to the following question.

How many of you have been bridesmaids? What did you think of the experience? I have never been asked to serve in that role. If that book is an honest account of what it is like, I will make sure that I never accept if I am asked.

I was a bridesmaid for a very close friend. She asked me to do it, I said yes, she lived out of town so she asked me to measure myself with a tape measure in certain places and give her mother the numbers. Her mother is a seamstress and sewed ALL the bm dresses! They were beautiful. I did not see mine until the morning of the wedding because I had to fly cross-country to attend. Her mother tried it on me and it fit perfectly, she was ready to alter anything that didn't fit. I wore black pumps per her request. They offered me jewelry to wear if I hadn't brought anything, I hadn't so I picked out something that looked nice and matched everyone else. They had several pairs of pantyhose in different sizes in case someone had forgotten theirs. They had someone doing manicures and helping with hair if people wanted it, no pressure, I think all of us accepted except for one woman whose mom was a hairstylist and did her hair that morning. The whole thing was super easy. They were laidback in a way but they did know what they wanted, they took care of most things so I didn't have to worry about things, they didn't even make us pay which from my experience is rare. After the wedding they asked if we wanted to donate our dresses to charity and we all said yes. They were beautiful and I hope some disadvantaged girls got to wear them to proms, etc. But we had the option to keep them FOR FREE if we wanted, the whole thing was handled very graciously I think. I would do it again if I had the chance but only for a very close friend.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I've only been a bridesmaid (maid of honor) once, and I think it went well...I can't recall any drama within the wedding party.

Now, when I was a bride, I probably could have gone ballistic when my matron of honor showed up the day of the wedding with dark eggplant-purple hair! She'd tried to dye it dark red, but it came out purple. It actually looked good, though...plus, I'd had purple flowers scattered throughout her bouquet only to make her stand out as the MOH. It worked.

Besides, I was the "offbeat" bride who had dark green nails to match the dresses. Purple hair didn't faze me one bit.

 

[Rora]

I was jr. Bridesmaid for a wedding when I was like 13. From what I remember it was okay. The bride was very demanding but thankfully didn't take that out on me (but she did take it out on the regular bridesmaids!!).

I am a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding next summer. She's already unleashed her inner Bridezilla so this should be interesting.

Can someone remind me to be a really really nice bride when I get married? Thanks!

 

[clgwli]

I've done it twice and declined once. The one I declined for, she asked me to read in her wedding. I just couldn't afford the dress. Even then I spend about $1K on the wedding The other two were great. The dresses were any style we wanted in a specific color. So I got what looked good on me They weren't demanding in the least on anything.

 

[HumanLegs]

I was a bridesmaid only one time and I never want to do it again. Maybe it was the woman getting married, she was a BF's best friends girl so maybe if it was someone closer to me I'd like it more. I don't like the whole matchy thing. And one bridesmaid was covered in tattoo's which is fine by me. But she didn't want to show them so we had to pay an extra $40 for a stupid shawl. I've decided I'm not even having bridesmaids when I get married because it's not really my thing and I don't want the added stress of it.

 

[missj1975]

I have been a bridesmaid in three weddings for college friends and the maid of honor for my sister's wedding. Sorry I have no horror stories to report. Everything was as smooth as can be.

Hmmm, wait one of the weddings was an outdoor wedding in a different state. I got stung in the eye by a bee while helping with the decorations the day before. When I woke up the morning of the wedding, my eye was swollen shut. After a quick trip to the emergency room for some expensive benadryl and after a great hair-stylist covered up my eye with stray curls, I was good as new. The bride even went to the emergency room with me, she was a great friend.

 

[java]

I was a bridesmaid 3 times so far and yes this 43 year old is in a wedding next year! so that will make number 4.
Really none of them were disasterous. My one friend made us wear these horrible southern belle kind of dresses with hoops!! But we all kept our mouth shut and just drank heavily.
My bridesmaids were all good. No complaining. Easy going people.

Now the wedding I am going to be in I see problems brewing among the bridesmaids. The maid of honor is a prize. Flakey and it's all about her. But I am 15 years older than her so I think I can handle her.

 

[Breezie]

I've been a bridesmaid twice, once for my father and once for my brother. Both times were fine. For my father's wedding, I was the only bridesmaid, as this was a second marriage for both of them. And I was able to choose my dress and the color.

For my brothers wedding, it was fine also. The Bride knew exactly what she wanted, but worked with our body types and found flattering dresses and a flattering color for all of us.

I've found the key to enjoying being a bridesmaid is basically to let the Bride have her way without fussing. I mean, it's not my wedding, if I look bad for one day I don't have to keep the pictures and I can repress it! Her youngest sister on the other hand voiced a negative opinion every chance she got. I think you just have to roll with it.

 

[HGD24]

I've been asked to be a bridesmaid twice

#1 - The bride couldn't get some bridesmaids to agree on a dress. I told her the one she really wanted was beautiful because she was my best friend and that's what you tell your best friend when she's picking out your dress for her wedding - no matter what you really think about it! Apparently, the others weren't so nice about it. She ended up not having any bridesmaids and went with an immediate family only ceremony with a huge party the next day.

#2 - The MOH called me a few weeks after the wedding telling me that I owed her $100 for the shower. There was no mention of sharing the shower expenses (other than the gift) before the shower so this totally came out of left field. I had already paid about $75 for the supplies I was asked to get and traveled from out of state to get to the shower. I accepted those costs as my part of the wedding party. I guess after the wedding, some of the girls started complaining about how much they spent on supplies so the MOH decided to tally the reciepts and divide the costs evenly - only she never got my reciepts so there was no way for her to know how much I had paid. I argued that point with her and told her that according to her estimates, the shower cost over $1000 (there were 8 bridesmaids) and there was no way a shower at the VFW should cost over $1000 and that if some of the girls went overboard and spent more than they wanted to, that was their problem, not mine. She ended the call by giving me her address and saying that she'd keep an eye out for the check. I said, "You do that" and never sent the check.

In my opinion - brides who demand that their bridesmaids wear their hair in a certain style or wear matching hats or jewelry are being absolutely ridiculous and shouldn't bother having anyone in their wedding except themself and their groom. If you want it to be all about you, then don't ask anyone else to be in your bridal party!

 

[kmp1191]

I've been a bridesmaid 3 times....should have been 4 though.

Actually, let me rephase that...I've been a bridesmaid 2 times and an USHER once.
When my oldest sister got married (she's 4 yrs older than me) she had me and the grooms sister be the ushers. Problem #1-I couldn't stand the grooms sister, Problem #2-I wasn't overweight (about 115lbs), but next to the grooms 80 lb sister I looked like a whale and Problem #3-the dresses where HORRIBLE!!! They were VERY short, with ruffles up the butt...and pale pink!!
Yes, a 115lb teenager in a pale pink dress w/ ruffles up the butt - not a pretty sight at all! I couldn't bend over AT ALL otherwise my ruffles would expose my.....well, you get the picture! No wonder I got drunk that night...it's the stupid dresses fault!

My second oldest sister got married the same year as I did...nothing major...other than she HATES being the center of attention and almost refused to have the garter toss, cake cutting or after ceremony pictures! Oh...and her dresses were AUQUA. Not as bad as the pale-baby puke pink one.

The third time was for my best friend. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid for her 1st marraige, (to a friend of my husbands), but she turned into a total bridezilla and said some things to me that hurt to the bone. I didn't talk to her for 4 years. Well, she divorced him, met a wonderful guy and asked me to be the MOH. I got to pick out the dress because there was only me and the best man standing up for them.

Just FYI~to this day I HATE pink ruffle things!!

 

[Snoopymom]

Dress, shoes, $25 on hose for gosh sakes, nails, hair, make-up, dh in wedding also, so tux and the works for him, bachelor and bachelorette party expenses, 4 hour drive, 2 nights in a hotel, $100 gift, $100 for developing photos I took as an extra gift...

divorced 4 months later

AND, I happened to giggle about something at the rehersal dinner, and her father stood up, did a toast and looked right at me and said that he felt the need to remind everyone that this was a serious and sacred occasion. I was so embarrassed and humiliated!

I did not have a wedding, but I would never ask anyone to do this, and I will never do it again!)