Back to school clothes- dress code

[okeydokey]

My DD just started middle school. Shorts have to touch the knee. She is tall and a size 12 doesn't usually meet this standard. A size 14 is way too big in the waist and doesn't work either. So she'll wear capris during these hot August and Sept Fl days. Would she rather wear shorts? I'm sure she would but the dress code won't allow it so we follow the dress code. She's learned that sometimes there are rules and standards and that the world does not revolve around what she personally wants. She is not entitled to break the rules because she wants things her way.

 

[Deb & Bill]

...No open back or open toe shoes (again, dress shoes very hard to find when you where a womans 11).

Just wanted to wish you luck, I feel your pain ! Lisa

Check Shoes.com, shoebuy.com, Zappos.com Most of these have free shipping and return shipping if they don't fit. Lots of sizes and widths. I get Walking Cradles and 10 Wide. Comfortable and they look good with pants. They also have several Mary Jane styles.

 

[stitchlovestink]

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If the kids have to wear uniforms so should the teachers/administration. YOU as the teacher should be setting the example. Do you want to wear a uniform? IF not, then get off your horse about your students wearing them.

Since when are children and teachers considered as equal peers? Do we let the kids eat in the teacher's lounge? Teachers and administrators are (or should be) the authority in the school.

No not equal peers, but teachers are supposed to be role models for their students aren't they? So WHY can't they wear them too? I still say, if the kids have to wear them, make the teachers wear them to be 'good' role models. Maybe the teachers wouldn't be for them so much if they had to wear them. I don't think teachers/administration should ask anything of the students that they aren't willing to do themselves. Otherwise, it's a case of do as I say, not as I do.

 

[stitch's buddy]

WOW! Those are strict dress code. My high school doesn't have a dress code just some basic rules like no bellies, undershirt, and underwear exposed, not hats and not bandannas. I have notice that first few weeks the freshman try to dress "fashionable" but after that everyone wears jeans or sweats. There are two exceptions,one is Jrotc cadets, and we wear Air Force uniforms once a week and the other is sports teams which dress up (e.g. men wear shirts and ties and women wear blouses and slacks). I can see younger children wearing uniforms but once you hit middle school or high school I honestly do not believe uniforms serve the purpose the staff say.

Then again that is just my two cents...

 

[princessmom29]

I think when a school puts a barrier to entry to attending school (buying clothes) that the line is crossed. There is no barrier to entry to prohibit running in the halls or speaking out of turn. If there is a barrier to entry regarding tardiness, the school makes a large effort to provide mitigation (i.e. if you can't drive your kid to school, they provide buses if you aren't within walking distance).

Ok I get it. We do our best no to do that by just specifying type and color. We have not had a prent lodge a complaint yet about our policy. I guess if we did we would have to reevaluate it. The policy was actually put to a public vote in our area and passed by an overwhelming majority

My view- I have 4 kids. I hand down clothing. I have appropriate clothing for my younger boys that I assumed they would be able to wear. I don't want to have to go out and buy uniforms for my public school children. I am for a DRESS CODE. That's not an issue for me. As I have appropriate clothing. At a public school, which is funded by my property taxes, I don't think I should be forced to purchase specific clothing for my kids to attend PUBLIC school.

It's administration just not wanting to bother enforcing a dress code imho. So they pass a uniform- I went to Catholic School my whole life and I can assure you that just because you have a uniform on doesn't mean it's a safer environment. I saw it in action.

I can't speak to private schools with uniforms. All I can tell you is that there was about a 20% drop in the number of physical altercations in our school the semester uniforms were instituted. It works for us. It may not for all schools.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If the kids have to wear uniforms so should the teachers/administration. YOU as the teacher should be setting the example. Do you want to wear a uniform? IF not, then get off your horse about your students wearing them.

bolding is mine.... Exactly and my DD can get her education just fine in her jeans and t shirt that btw, doesn't show cleavage. I guess if you don't want to deal w/ these matters, maybe you should get a job teaching in a school that does require uniforms. Send the kids to the office and let admin deal w/ the dress issues. This doesn't have to take up your 'valuable' teaching time unless you 'allow' it to.

AMEN to all that was stated above!


Maybe we need to file a discrimination lawsuit on behalf of the overweight kids. I'm serious. I don't want to wear my shirt tucked in, nor do either of my girls. Wanna talk about setting someone up to be made fun of? Tucking in certain styles of blouses and pants only adds to the 'noticability of someone's weight or overweightness (I know a made up word , but you know what I mean)'


YEs, some parents do allow this, but ocassionally you'll find a kid who changes (or sometimes borrows from a friend) their outfit after mom and dad have left for work and kid has yet to leave for school. And if they get home from school before parents get home from work, they change back. There was a girl I went to school w/ years ago that would change when she got to school and into outfits her parents didn't even know she owned. Bought w/ her own $$ and she did her own laundry. Eventually the mom saw her out somewhere and was mortified.


bolding is mine...
No teachers are not students, but you are role models for them. So if you want students to wear uniforms, teachers should be required to wear them too. Do you want to pay for my kids to have 2 wardrobes? If not, I suggest you not tell me how to dress my kids or what to buy for them to wear unless it is downright offensive.


Good for you for being proactive in choosing what is right for YOUR child!


bolding is mine...
yeah, not so easy to always find uniform clothing for a hard to fit build. Plus I am MUCH LESS LIKELY to find it for a price that I am willing to pay. If they can express their individuality thru hairpieces, jewelry, shoes, then why not clothes? That one doesn't make sense. Maybe uniforms are cost effective for YOU, but again that doesn't mean they're cost effective for everyone else.
UMMM... you know if your chosen profession will/will not require a uniform. You CHOOSE your profession. I personally would not be in a profession that requires a uniform. That is MY choice as an adult, is has not been dictated to me as a student.


bolding is mine...
Glad for you that it is working in your environment, but it wouldn't fly w/ me. No, I don't buy my DD's $100 shoes or $200 jeans. But I also don't want to have to spend $30 on a pair of pants for school because they meet YOUR requirements of acceptability. I guess I would be residing in the administrator's office at your school as my kid would be coming to school the way I see fit to dress them. I don't have a problem w/ reasonable limits (i.e. no butt crack/undies showing, pants fitting appropriately as in not too tight or too large for weapons to be hidden in, no cleavage hanging out, I'm even okay w/ no spaghetti straps or tanks) but when you tell me my kids can't wear plain jeans and a non-offensive crew neck t shirt to school, you've crossed the line. That it totally acceptable attire to learn in. Have you looked at college kids lately? Aren't they there to learn?
And BTW, if you had me or my kids in your class you'd hear chronic complaining about tucked in shirts. We DON'T WEAR THEM THAT WAY. My girls and I too wear lots of baby doll style or plain tees.





Exactly same way here. Our kids are districted to one of the top schools in the county and I HATE the school. The Admin there SUCKS! But they have to go based on where you live. While I hate wishing her childhood away, I am glad that this is my daughter's last year of high school. It has been a terrible experience for her. OH my daughter's had some real winners there! One teacher was sleeping w/ a couple of the students (he's in jail awaiting trial), another teacher called the whole class to their faces "a bunch of F***ing retards (how's that for a role model?), and there's been other garbage too. This was just last year's stuff. I really think around here, we have bigger fish to fry than whether the kids should be wearing uniforms.


bolding is mine...
that is absurd...trying to compare that to school uniforms. MVA just says you gotta have a shirt and shoes, they don't care what kind. And as far as court, I have NEVER heard of someone around here being held in contempt for their wardrobe (trust me, that would make our local small town paper big time!). And even if you did have to wear something special, it would be for one day not every day, day in, day out. There's no reasonable comparison between the two. Sorry.


Yes it is the school's job to educate the child. It is the parent's job to provide clothing, and not to the school's choosing.


bolding is mine.... YUP!


We don't live in FL. and not all states operate that way. Lucky you that yours does and you have a choice. Not everybody has the same choice as you. Be thankful for your opportunity to choose.


Exactly. Maybe some of the other states should take a lesson from FL and allow the parents to choose which school we want our children to go to.
Hmmmm .... Novel concept.

I don't have a problem with wearing a uniform, and we do have a pretty strict dress code for teachers, which I follow. No jeans, sleevless, skirts above the knee, or open toed shoes is a quick rundown. In fact teachers do wear uniforms in some schools in our district. I am really not on any kind of horse about it. I personally think it is a good thing nad it has worked in our school. It may not in yours. I can only speak to what I have experienced, and ask questions to find out what other's experiences are.
we had a recent case where a man was held in contempt for showing up in a costume and refusing to remove it. I caused undue distraction in the courtroom. And, for me that is something that uniforms eliminate. I realize that some don't feel that way, and that is fine, but we love them at our school and it works well for us.

 

[java]

I just thought this was interesting (it recently happened in Philadelphia)

THERE is a clause in the will of the late Robert N. Carson of Philadelphia to the effect that no three orphan girls in the college or home which is to be paid for out of his millions shall ever be allowed to dress alike.


I think we could have hung out together!

 

[princessmom29]

No not equal peers, but teachers are supposed to be role models for their students aren't they? So WHY can't they wear them too? I still say, if the kids have to wear them, make the teachers wear them to be 'good' role models. Maybe the teachers wouldn't be for them so much if they had to wear them. I don't think teachers/administration should ask anything of the students that they aren't willing to do themselves. Otherwise, it's a case of do as I say, not as I do.

I really don't mean to be petty here, but do you practice this in your own home? Watch any movies you wouldn't allow your kids to? do you go to bed at the same time they do? How about TV, do you only watch programs they can? Can you see my problem with this logic? Just like I would not hold a 16 year old to the same rules a my 5 year old, our seniors have privliges our freshman don't get. The rules are different for teachers and students due to different maturity levels, and different needs.

 

[stitchlovestink]

I really don't mean to be petty here, but do you practice this in your own home? Watch any movies you wouldn't allow your kids to? do you go to bed at the same time they do? How about TV, do you only watch programs they can? Can you see my problem with this logic? Just like I would not hold a 16 year old to the same rules a my 5 year old, our seniors have privliges our freshman don't get. The rules are different for teachers and students due to different maturity levels, and different needs.

Ummmm.... NO I can't see your logic.
Because first off, what does maturity level have to do with clothing? If you want the kids to wear a white polo and blue pants, why can't the teachers wear a white polo and blue pants (or skirt if they desire)? Again, it's do as I say, not as I do. So that theory doesn't hold water w/ me.
And to answer your questions, Yes I do VERY MUCH practice this to the very best of my ability. I think that is how you earn respect. A certain amount of respect should initially be given, I believe the rest has to be EARNED. No I don't watch any TV shows or movies that they are not allowed to watch. Actually, there are some that they watch that I do not care for at all, but I think they need to learn discernment. I don't drink or smoke, so can't use that one either. I do drive and they are not allowed to do that, it's against the law. As far as bedtime, they don't have one. Many times I go to bed BEFORE them. Older DD doesn't require alot of sleep, she knows what time she has to get up. Younger DD does require alot of sleep and knows it and goes to bed accordingly without me having to tell her to. She's aware of the consequences of not getting enough sleep and being overly tired the next morning.
At our school, the only priveleges extended to seniors are parking permits and part-time attendance. Trust me, if there's a freshmen eligible for a parking permit then they got bigger problems then that student needing a parking permit. And seniors can only apply for part-time attendance if they have enough credits. Fr/Soph/Jrs aren't going to have enough credits yet otherwise they'd be a senior. In our school system your status is based on credits you've aquired, not how long you've been attending. Other than those 2 things, everything else is equal.

Please explain to me, why shouldn't the teachers wear uniforms if they want the students to? As a teacher, you shouldn't need to express yourself thru your clothing. And it would make your choices of what to buy/wear for work much more streamlined. So again, every reason you give as to why the kids should wear them is just as applicable to the teachers. Yup, seen the younger lady teachers at school wearing the almost see thru blouse or a skirt that really should be longer (being that they are role model, of course) This way the teachers know what is proper and what isn't. And I've seen heavier teachers (well and skinnier ones too) wearing clothing so tight fitting you could see their bra/panty lines. This way teachers would know what was acceptable and what was not.

 

[princessmom29]

Ummmm.... NO I can't see your logic.
Because first off, what does maturity level have to do with clothing? If you want the kids to wear a white polo and blue pants, why can't the teachers wear a white polo and blue pants (or skirt if they desire)? Again, it's do as I say, not as I do. So that theory doesn't hold water w/ me.
And to answer your questions, Yes I do VERY MUCH practice this to the very best of my ability. I think that is how you earn respect. A certain amount of respect should initially be given, I believe the rest has to be EARNED. No I don't watch any TV shows or movies that they are not allowed to watch. Actually, there are some that they watch that I do not care for at all, but I think they need to learn discernment. I don't drink or smoke, so can't use that one either. I do drive and they are not allowed to do that, it's against the law. As far as bedtime, they don't have one. Many times I go to bed BEFORE them. Older DD doesn't require alot of sleep, she knows what time she has to get up. Younger DD does require alot of sleep and knows it and goes to bed accordingly without me having to tell her to. She's aware of the consequences of not getting enough sleep and being overly tired the next morning.
At our school, the only priveleges extended to seniors are parking permits and part-time attendance. Trust me, if there's a freshmen eligible for a parking permit then they got bigger problems then that student needing a parking permit. And seniors can only apply for part-time attendance if they have enough credits. Fr/Soph/Jrs aren't going to have enough credits yet otherwise they'd be a senior. In our school system your status is based on credits you've aquired, not how long you've been attending. Other than those 2 things, everything else is equal.

Please explain to me, why shouldn't the teachers wear uniforms if they want the students to? As a teacher, you shouldn't need to express yourself thru your clothing. And it would make your choices of what to buy/wear for work much more streamlined. So again, every reason you give as to why the kids should wear them is just as applicable to the teachers. Yup, seen the younger lady teachers at school wearing the almost see thru blouse or a skirt that really should be longer (being that they are role model, of course) This way the teachers know what is proper and what isn't. And I've seen heavier teachers (well and skinnier ones too) wearing clothing so tight fitting you could see their bra/panty lines. This way teachers would know what was acceptable and what was not.

Maturity level has everything to do with knowing what clothing is appropiate or not. yes i realize parents can do that for their kids, but as previously noted teens are good about gting around parents on this. The examples of inappropiate attire for teachers would be sent home to change, and if they didn't figure it out pretty quickly would be out of a job. A teacher really should know what is acceptable and not without being told. If not they should not be teaching, especially in high school. That is asking for trouble. I know that some of my high schoolers completely lack that skill. I don't have a problem with wearing a uniform and would gladly do so if asked to, if fact i think it would be a great idea nad simplify my morning routine. but to be practical it would have to be different from the students in order to be able to tell one from the other at a glance in a crowd control situation. We have female teachers that could be mistaken at first glance for a student, especally from the back.

Pur seniors are the only ones allowed to drive on campus or have early release, but the have other privliges as well. They get first choice of electives, and Juniors and Seniors are the only ones allowed at prom. No younger dates allowed. They are alowed to take a mentorship class that involves traveling off campus to mentor with a local business. No grade is not solely based on age, but almost all seniors are older than alomst all freshman.

Do you have children of different ages in your house? Age the rules all the same reagardless of age?(except driving of course) Is everyone allowed all the same movies/tv? Are all ages given the same privlages with regards to supervision, ie going to the mall with friends without a parent ect?

I am really not interested in a fight here. You have your opinion and are welcome to it. I have a different one. Doesn't necessaily mean that what works for us will work for you are vice versa. We have found that uniforms make our school a better environment for the kids, and that is what is really important isn't it? That the students benefit from whatever decision is made? If what is best for the climate at your particular school is not to have them that is great and I wish you well!

 

[PatsGirl]

While I am all for individuality and choice, especially in the middle school years when kids are trying to find themselves and develop their own sense of style, I also believe that these are years that kids need to be taught that society as a whole relies on various forms of conformity

I am an advocate for school uniforms and the argument for individuality doesn't hold any water with me. Khaki pants/skirts with white polos and sneakers would be my pick Kids can express themselves after school and on the weekends.

DS had a terrible time in middle school surrounded by girls who were half-dressed, skirts hiked up to their hips and shirts leaving little to the imagination. These girls were giving away their "eye candy" for nothing more than attention Not to mention, what are these mothers thinking

One of my favorite sayings: "Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child" ~ the sooner kids realize that society (especially employers) WILL judge them by their appearance and their behaviors, the better off they will be later in life.

 

[okeydokey]

No not equal peers, but teachers are supposed to be role models for their students aren't they? So WHY can't they wear them too? I still say, if the kids have to wear them, make the teachers wear them to be 'good' role models. Maybe the teachers wouldn't be for them so much if they had to wear them. I don't think teachers/administration should ask anything of the students that they aren't willing to do themselves. Otherwise, it's a case of do as I say, not as I do.

What a completely ridiculous argument. Teachers and students are not the same. Parents and children are not the same. Children don't get to be the adults because they want to. I drink coffee with breakfast. I give milk to my kids. Should I give up coffee or just have them give up the milk so we can drink the same stuff. Or maybe they can be the kids and i can be the adult.

 

[uk_wildcat]

As I have gotten older, and having taught middle school for one year, I have become more and more of a proponent of school uniforms. The school I taught at had a dress code, but no uniforms. I had more girls come to school with cleavage and butts hanging out and boys who loved to sag their pants. I had to send so many to the office to call home to get new clothes to put on.
Now I do believe there are some schools who take the uniform policy a bit too far. My nephews have to wear uniforms and they live in a really small town, with only 2 stores that have clothes. It was hard for my sister to find belts and pants that didn't have some sort of logo on them because they were not allowed to have any brands showing. One day my nephew was sent to the office because his belt said Dockers or something on it. That to me is a little ridiculous because you couldn't even really see it. They also make the boys keep their hair cut shorter, which was a problem because all the boys want the "Jonas Brothers" style of haircuts now.
I really think it is just a matter of not being so strict, but also making it easier by having a uniform. I would love to just buy a uniform for my sons. It would make shopping so much easier.
As for the teacher, I am sure many would not have a problem with wearing a uniform either, but I do see the issue of some of them blending in with the students. Many middle and high school female teachers can look just like the students.
It's not like adults don't have to follow dress codes or even have to wear uniforms. I have had a dress code with every job I have ever held. My husband spent 9 years in the Air Force and he had very strict uniform policies.

 

[Kriii]

I LOVE uniforms both as a parent and public school employee. It simplifies things when purchasing back to school clothes and it is much less expensive to buy 3-4 uniforms than the multiple pieces from Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch that dd wanted when she went to public school etc. When dd was in public school, I spent tons more on her and she was always concerned about having all of the "name" items. As an employee, who has worked in schools with and without uniforms, it really makes a difference. W/O uniforms, soooo much time was spent sending kids to the office for baggy pants, cleavage, thong showing etc. Kids do break dress code rules! It often didn't seem worth it for the staff to reprimand dress code infractions, since many of the kids would get belligerent when reprimanded and the situation would escalate. Be lieve me, the girls do talk about those who do not have the same clothes and it is a definate class barrier between the kids. I suspect those who are anti uniform have more problem with being told what to do by someone else than anything.

 

[goofyisinphilly]

I went to a private school and there was a fairly strict dress code. No jeans, no skirts above the knee, no shorts, to tank tops. It drove me crazy how it was selectively inforced. However, the school has now gone to uniforms and I have to say the students look so much more sloppy. Apparantly, as long as they wear their uniform it doesn't need to be iron or tucked in it can be ill-fitting. It was strange how the students went from looking well put together to sloppy with the switch.

 

[janUK]

Well here's my opinion - and it is just my opinion. I'm in the UK and there's not a school around here - private or public that doesn't have a school uniform. The kids wear them from attending nursery at 3 ... and it makes life alot simpler for everyone. At my dd's primary school (age 3-11) it's grey or black trousers/skirts/shorts - (girls can wear either and boys can wear skirts if they wish), sky blue polo shirt and royal blue sweatshirt or cardigan. The polo shirts and sweatshirts/cardigans are available form the school with the school badge on at a charge but are not required - you can go to our local George and pick up the entirely acceptable complete uniform for £4. The uniform is not compulsory but is encouraged. I've only twice seen a child not in uniform - and that was occasional days rather than the rule (guess the washing machine broke down ). The kids are all very proud of her school and seem proud to be wearing the uniform. I also think it's good from a security point of view - it's easier to identify a child when you can tell where the uniform is from if one wanders off or gets lost etc.
I admit it doesn't solve all issues. All my dd's friends have had these daft school shoes with toys in the heel since nursery - they only start at a baby 10 but 3 years later her feet are still not big enough to fit into them - I had to sidestep a meltdown again this year. Still she accepted she can't have shoes that don't fit and that's all there is to it.

for uniforms from me.

 

[denisegold]

My daughter is going into 7th grade this year, Catholic school (her 4th year there) and of course, school uniforms. Not a dress code- uniforms. I LOVE it. love, love love. Life is easy. No craziness of "so and so got $100 sneakers, i want them, i have to have them" "so and so made fun of me because of my blah blah blah..." They all wear the same clothes, same (basic) shoes. Life is good. They do have "dress down" day once a month or so, the kids pay $1 to dress down and the money goes to Leukemia research. My daughter doe not miss wearing "regular" clothes to school. And every day when she gets home, she changes in "play" clothes (or whatever you'd call it).

I have never felt this was an issue, and it's one of the many reasons I choose to send my daughter to this school.

BTW, I'm a nurse, and I have no problem adhering to the uniform/dress code policy where I work. It's part of life.

 

[akayek31]

I lived in Jacksonville, Fl back when DS started school. I think when he was in 1st grade they started making kids wear uniforms. I did have to buy two sets of clothing one for school and one for play. Now at this time I was living off the $189 of child support his dad sent a month and had a 2 yr old DD also. When DS went to 2nd grade I found out that there was a OPT OUT for the uniform so I did as did a lot of other parents. Fast forward to today DS is in 11th grade and DD is in 7th. We live in a small town in North Georgia and I graduated college 2 years ago and work for the state and also have a part time weekend job so I can afford both sets of clothing if needed but would still sign the OPT OUT form again since I believe it is my right as their parent to do so. I agree with PP if I wanted my kids in a uniform I would send them to private school. I only know of one thing that the kids can't wear to school and that is the ripped jeans that are in style. DS has a job and went out and bought some and wore them and they didn't say a word about it. He said that usually they make the kids tape the holes. But DS did not have open holes in them just ones that looked frayed so that is probably why he got away with it.

 

[iheartdisney]

OP- when I was in high school (back in the 90's) our school had a dress code that all males had to wear a belt and all shirts tucked it. That was at the height of the "show off your boxers" era of dress.

This is PUBLIC SCHOOL. So I can't just pick another public school to send my child to.
Private school- go ahead with uniforms if that is what the school deems proper. It's the public school aspect that I have issues with.

Try an intra-district transfer to another public school. We are starting our children at another district because the school we are zoned for was not serving them.
And BTW, we ended up at a school with uniforms, and I'm pretty happy about it. Mostly because now all the "cute" clothes won't wear out so quickly!

 

[KatieG73]

I've not read all of the posts but was surprised to find that so many of your schools don't have uniforms, here in the UK the vast majority of schools have uniforms -I can't imagine another way now.
We don't have to worry about what to wear every day or about peer pressure as everyone is wearing the same. My wee one goes to a private school where unfirom is strictly enforced but I think that's a good thing - no arguments over 'but so and so gets to wear.....'

Nit sure how to post a pic but my wee girl wears a tartan pinafore, navy knee length socks, white blouse with purple trim and a blazer. It's kinda expensive every summer renewing it all but it is hard wearing and very rarely do we have to replace anything throughout the year.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I am so glad our school system does not have an overly strict dress code and that there has never been talk of uniforms. We have reasonable restrictions for modesty and safety. I honestly don't see why girls' shoulders need to be covered - seems archaic to me.

Private schools can do as they wish, but I don't see aplace for this kind of ultimatum in a public school.

There are always going to be snobs and kids will still know who is a "have" or a "have not". That's life. Restricting their clothing choices to the extreme really doesn't solve this or remove the fact that this is how it is in the real world.

I am just so glad I live in an area where this isn't a big deal and you would have quite a fight if you brought up uniforms in a public school around here.

I have no problem "worrying" about what my DD is going to wear every day - it really isn't that big of a deal. Well, it is in the sense that we don't often agree and I often have to have the final say. That is just one of the many respnsibilties of being a parent.