Baby Shower- I don't want to go.....

[kilee]

I knew the invite was coming and there it was today sitting for me in my mailbox. Ugh. Now I'll start by saying- I am 99.9% sure I'll do the "right" thing and go to this shower and be the wonderful, pleasant person I can be.

HOWEVER---- I don't want to. Mind you this is for my cousins wife. First, I'm not at all close to this specific cousin. However, my mom's family is really small and he's part of it. Next, I've never met the wife and they live 20 minutes away. I guess he's been w/ her for about 2 years. They got engaged and married rather quick-- we were told about his engagement through my aunt. Anyhow-- my sister and I were told specifically to block the date out for the wedding this past summer. My sister went so far to book a babysitter. The invitation never came--ironically everyone else in the family was invited but my sister and I. (we're both adults btw). Everyone Else!!! It was said they had to limit it to 100 people and that's why. Ummm-- they invited friends (not best friends- but casual friends) and co-workers. Doesn't your ONLY 2 cousins come before that. While we might not be close (just a difference in interests) we were both shocked and hurt that we were snubbed.

Anyhow--never met the girl-- but now I'm invited to her baby shower. Of course I'll be invited to that- why not it's a free gift right. I know it's a bad attitude but I think it's ridiculous that we weren't invited to the wedding. I just wanted to vent!!! I don't want to say anything to my mom because she has so little family and I don't want to hurt her feelings and it would.

 

[mommytotwo]

Maybe they want to include you into their family now so it would be nice if you could attend. You couldn't use the excuse of having to drive thousands of miles or having to fly to the event, so those excuses are out. If you don't want to attend, maybe you could sent a small gift with your mom if she is going to attend. It would be a nice gesture from your side.

 

[staci]

They maybe felt obligated to invite you. I know I had a heck of time with my wedding/baby shower invite list. And inevitably, I invited some people who didnt come, and didnt invite people who wanted to be there. I felt really bad about the people who wanted to be there that I had not deemed close enough to me to invite. Some great aunts (who I never met and from out of state) were very hurt to not be invited.

I wouldnt go if I were you. It sounds like you have no reason to feel obligated to go, so I would politely RSVP with a no.

 

[MoniqueU]

Personally I find weddings tedious so I would be thankful and mailing a gift because I don't like showers much either!!! That's just me though LOL.

 

[BuckNaked]

Just don't go.

 

[TINKTWINS]

I would feel exactly the same as you do. It would be different if say you werent invited to the wedding, and it was several years ago, not this past summer, and during that time you got to know the girl and somehow bonded, then that would be different. But I agree, not inviting 2 cousins to a wedding, but inviting you to a baby shower, I have to say I wouldnt go. But thats me.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Didn't you have that thing you had to do that day?

 

[TINKTWINS]

Oh also, I would do as my DH says and Fly under the radar, not bring it up to anyone and just call to RSVP on the last day they give preferably during the day when no one is home

 

[georgina]

Families! They can be a pain. It sounds like your mom expects you to go. Is your sister going? Maybe you guys can be miserable together.

After our Christmas family gathering, I have some family members I don't care to see again for at least 5 years.

 

[dixipixi]

Do what I do. If I know I've only been invited for a gift and I haven't been invited to other parties/gatherings by these people....then I'll take a really cheap gift.

That way they can't say I didn't come or bring a gift, but they know exactly how I feel about it without saying a word.

Yeah, it might be tacky but so is not inviting someone to your wedding, not bothering to meet or get to know them in the meantime and then inviting them to a baby shower.

 

[Missy1961]

I know how you feel. I wouldn't want to go either. But I think I'd go, even if it was just to make my mom happy. She would mean more to me than this cousin & his wife. I'd bring a small gift, sit with mom & sis & leave as soon as I could. You're right to feel hurt, I don't blame you at all.

 

[daisyduck123]

If you don't want to go...don't go.

Think of how happy you'll be on that day...knowing you're home instead of sitting at that shower. I would send a small gift via another relative who is attending. (Maybe you could look around the house for some gift you've never opened & regift something?

(This is just my personal opinion..I kind of made it one of my new year's resolutions to be strong & not get roped into things I don't want to do. )

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

I understand your need to vent. We have our own family conflicts involving DB & SIL. I'm one of 6 kids and all my sibs have a problem with this SIL and also DB to some extent. It hurts Mom a lot to see it. You would probably do best to just suck it up and go to the shower. Tell yourself that you're doing it for your own mother, not the mother-to-be.

 

[Marseeya]

So, don't go.

A while back, I was invited to a baby shower for my cousin's DS and his wife. They can't even be bothered to say hi to me when I see them in the store, so why on earth would I want to go to something as intimate as a baby shower? My mom was kind of mad, but tough.

Just make your excuses and don't go.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

Didn't you have that thing you had to do that day?

Yeah.. that thing you had to do, you know.. at that place?