Baby Shower Help!

[TLH1977]

Here's the situation--a girl i work with is due to have a baby the beginning of May. Its going to be her second child (the first she had a few months before she started working with me). I am close with her along with a few others. We work in a nursing home and I wanted to do something little for her at the end of this month the problem is Im going to have to invite all the people that work in our department so feeling arent hurt. Its really only about 15-20 people. I would prefer to have it at a resturante but dont want to get stuck paying the whole bill. My sister recommended a place like Bertucci's and have a set menu where people get to choose from like 3 options and it be a set price for everyone-say 15.00 and that would include cake, decorations, etc. How would you go about asking for the money? Do you put it right on the invitation? I kinda feel like my nice gesture is gonna cost me in the long run. Thanks for any feedback!

 

[lulugirl]

I think if you are hosting, you have to foot the bill. Personally I would not feel comfortable sending out invitations and asking the guests to pay.
Is it possible to have the shower at someones house? Perhaps you could ask the co-workers she is closest to to help out and bring a dish, cake, decorations?

 

[Lady de Winter]

If you don't want to get stuck with the bill, I think you shouldn't make it an official "party". It could be an informal luncheon, where people would expect to be paying their own way. Invitations are going to imply that you are paying, and it's extremely tacky to ask for or imply that you expect them to chip in on the invitation. I'd go with an informal luncheon, and then all you would be responsible for is the guest of honor's lunch tab, and the cake if you wanted to provide one. Also, since this is her second baby, informal is perfectly correct and acceptable.

 

[C.Ann]

I think if you are hosting, you have to foot the bill. Personally I would not feel comfortable sending out invitations and asking the guests to pay.
Is it possible to have the shower at someones house? Perhaps you could ask the co-workers she is closest to to help out and bring a dish, cake, decorations?

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I agree.. The only way it wouldn't come across as rude is if you approached each person and said, "Would you be willing to chip in for a baby shower for Mary?".. If they were agreeable you could come to some sort of meeting of the minds as to where, when and how..

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I agree with the others........you can't invite to people to a party then ask them to pay for their own stuff. But you can word it so it isn't a party........

My shower for my second DS was like this. At a restaurant for lunch, everyone paid for their own meal but the "hostess" provided decorations and cake. The invitations were worded something along the lines of........."come meet us for lunch and to celebrate Beth's baby".

 

[TLH1977]

Thanks guys..your suggestions were great and will be taken. I knew it didnt sound right but couldnt think how to approach it so it would work. ---thanks for your help..i could always count on these boards no matter what the topic!

 

[hornedfrog]

Every work shower I've been to (wedding or baby - and I've had one of each with workgroups, too) has been during lunch, immediately after work or during other 'free time' at work and has been in an empty conference room or breakroom. There's always cake and something to drink (from 2-liters of soda to a punch bowl). Sometimes there has been fingerfoods, too. They are usually pretty simple affairs with maybe a few balloons or a tablecloth or something.

The hostess(es) provide the decorations and food. The more hostesses there are, the more lavish the spread, but in general most just come for the cake anyway. The invitees bring gifts or chip in towards a group gift or giftcard.

I don't think it'd be right to invite people to a shower and then charge them admission in the form of paying for their own food, too. They should already be bringing a gift...asking more of them than that probably won't sit right with some of them.

So, if its a shower you want to host, then either cater it yourself or maybe go in with a couple of others and share the responsibility. If you want to have a luncheon out somewhere (not a shower, but just a luncheon), then you could just issue a group invite and say "'Mother-To-Be' and I are going to XXX on March ** to celebrate the upcoming birth of her baby. We'd love for you to join us." Something along those lines...

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm sorry, but if you can't afford to pay for all the guests (I know I wouldn't be able to), then you should have it in your home or someplace else. I think it's unacceptable to ask people to pay for their food.

 

[Beth76]

Since you work in a nursing home is it possible to find a room there that you can use? Then you can just have a few decorations and a cake.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

Maybe you should have the shower in a break room or at a house. We are allowed to have showers for coworkers in our training room at work. If you have something like that, it will be much more practical as far as cost.
Then maybe you and a few coworkers could take her out to dinner another time.

 

[TLH1977]

Yes, I AGREE that its tacky to ask people to pay for their own meal at any type of shower. And if this was striclty just friends getting together i wouldnt care how much it cost.
I guess part of the problem and where i work. Our supervisor is very stricked about being fair, and because of this we are going to have to invite some people who i ordinarily would not invite so why should i have to pay for them when i dont really even want them there?? Its just to keep me out of trouble that i invite them. Plus, a few weeks ago another girl is our department had a baby and most people didnt want to give a lot of money towards a gift because they have bought her many gifts in the very short time she had worked there and some of us feel she gets special treatment. So, doing something during our lunch break is going to be difficult considering we didnt do anything much for her and she is the boss' pet!
Anyways, another co-worker just emailed me and we our going to work on this together. Thanks again for the feedback

 

[C.Ann]

Yes, I AGREE that its tacky to ask people to pay for their own meal at any type of shower. And if this was striclty just friends getting together i wouldnt care how much it cost.
I guess part of the problem and where i work. Our supervisor is very stricked about being fair, and because of this we are going to have to invite some people who i ordinarily would not invite so why should i have to pay for them when i dont really even want them there?? Its just to keep me out of trouble that i invite them. Plus, a few weeks ago another girl is our department had a baby and most people didnt want to give a lot of money towards a gift because they have bought her many gifts in the very short time she had worked there and some of us feel she gets special treatment. So, doing something during our lunch break is going to be difficult considering we didnt do anything much for her and she is the boss' pet!
Anyways, another co-worker just emailed me and we our going to work on this together. Thanks again for the feedback

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Your employer can not dictate who you associate with on your "off hours", so how about after work or on a Saturday? That way you can invite only the people you wish to invite..

 

[Beth76]

Maybe you should just forego the shower. It is her second child after all. It might be awkward since you didn't have a shower for the other girl.

 

[mom2boys]

If you don't want to get stuck with the bill, I think you shouldn't make it an official "party". It could be an informal luncheon, where people would expect to be paying their own way. Invitations are going to imply that you are paying, and it's extremely tacky to ask for or imply that you expect them to chip in on the invitation. I'd go with an informal luncheon, and then all you would be responsible for is the guest of honor's lunch tab, and the cake if you wanted to provide one. Also, since this is her second baby, informal is perfectly correct and acceptable.

We did this all the time. Send out an informational flyer instead of an ivitation. Tell them how much is will cost & give them a deadline for when payment is due. Ours usually included enough $ to cover the guests meal and gift contribution - we chipped in for one big gift. The guest of honor's meal was also factored into the price. If the is extra money left over after everything is paid for, give it to the baby or get a gift certificate for the baby.