Baby Problem

[NHdisneylover]

Has the mother talked to the baby's doctor? Is she spitting up a lot?

OP--I see you responded to this and said the baby is healthy, but unless the mother has specifically brought up her fussiness to teh doctor, they may not have known to check for certain issues. It is wroth mentioning to the mother that she should, at the very least, bring it up at the next well baby visit if the little one is still having issues. Even if the baby is healthy, doctors often have good ideas on how to help with various behaviours--and perhaps the mother would believe a doctor telling her not to allow her baby to be left crying for prolonged periods (not even at night as some sort of cry it out thing) more than she would listen to you or strangers on eh internet.

Have you tried pudding to soothe the baby? I know you don't mind sharing

I know pudding is soft and smooth, like baby food, but at only 7 months old it is very possible that the mother has not yet introduced sugar into the baby's diet--so this may not be welcomed. OP--definitely check with your roommate before trying anything like that.

 

[crayon3448]

I don't appreciate you insulting Mama when she's done nothing wrong. She's a great Mama! For your information, she went to the store because she was going to use checks only she could cash, otherwise I probably would've done the shopping that night. Most times when she goes somewhere the baby does go with her, there are just a few times I'm at home alone with baby.

Earlier in the post you said once or twice a week, which is NOT "just a few times."

 

[disneyfav4ever]

OP--I see you responded to this and said the baby is healthy, but unless the mother has specifically brought up her fussiness to teh doctor, they may not have known to check for certain issues. It is wroth mentioning to the mother that she should, at the very least, bring it up at the next well baby visit if the little one is still having issues. Even if the baby is healthy, doctors often have good ideas on how to help with various behaviours--and perhaps the mother would believe a doctor telling her not to allow her baby to be left crying for prolonged periods (not even at night as some sort of cry it out thing) more than she would listen to you or strangers on eh internet.



I know pudding is soft and smooth, like baby food, but at only 7 months old it is very possible that the mother has not yet introduced sugar into the baby's diet--so this may not be welcomed. OP--definitely check with your roommate before trying anything like that.

I won't give her anything I don't know mama's already given her. I would think that would be like baby yogurt which they make for six months and up and mama doesn't want to try that yet, so I'm thinking sugary desserts would still be a no-no.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Earlier in the post you said once or twice a week, which is NOT "just a few times."

At most once or twice a week. Some weeks she doesn't leave or go out without baby at all.

 

[mrzrich]

Have you tried pudding to soothe the baby? I know you don't mind sharing

I know pudding is soft and smooth, like baby food, but at only 7 months old it is very possible that the mother has not yet introduced sugar into the baby's diet--so this may not be welcomed. OP--definitely check with your roommate before trying anything like that.

I wasn't being serious NHdisneylover. Remember a few weeks ago when many of us were giving dating advice to a person with a long history of asking advice and then giving excuses for why they didn't want to take the advice?

This poster has a similar history. Asks advice, and then tells us why the advice won't work for her. The pudding, refers to that history.

Glad to see you moved out of your parents house OP.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I wasn't being serious NHdisneylover. Remember a few weeks ago when many of us were giving dating advice to a person with a long history of asking advice and then giving excuses for why they didn't want to take the advice?

This poster has a similar history. Asks advice, and then tells us why the advice won't work for her. The pudding, refers to that history.

Glad to see you moved out of your parents house OP.

ahhhh, I see. Thanks for clearing that up I don't recognize this poster's name at all.

 

[Mkrop]

I it's odd how so many of you are focused on me referring to her as mama. I'm just calling her that because that's what I call her when I talk to the baby, and I'm not going to use her real name on a public message board.

I have to agree it just sounds odd, even if you didnt want to type out her mom or my roommate, you could have just used her first letter after describing who she was like...the baby's mom, my roommate, I will call her S (say her name is Susan) and then use S throughout

Not to sound like I'm trying to make another excuse, but I think that's a bad idea. For years I worked at a grocery store and I think it's a nuisance to everyone to have to hear a crying baby. I don't want other shoppers and store employees to have to listen to it if they don't have to. That's the reason mama left me at home with baby one night, because baby was nuts all day, and we decided it was better for her to go and do the shopping than try to take her.

Sometimes the babies are distracted by the new place and sounds, so they stop crying. And you dont want to disturb store patrons but you dont care about your neighbors

 

[Liberty Belle]

I wasn't being serious NHdisneylover. Remember a few weeks ago when many of us were giving dating advice to a person with a long history of asking advice and then giving excuses for why they didn't want to take the advice?

This poster has a similar history. Asks advice, and then tells us why the advice won't work for her. The pudding, refers to that history.

Glad to see you moved out of your parents house OP.

I didn't know that. I guess I missed anything about pudding. Now I'm curious.

 

[Poohforyou]

I it's odd how so many of you are focused on me referring to her as mama. I'm just calling her that because that's what I call her when I talk to the baby, and I'm not going to use her real name on a public message board.

Op, do you realize by just saying mama it implies that the baby's mother is also your mother? If you're talking to the baby about her mother you should be saying your mama and if you're referring to the mother to other people it's her mama or the baby's mama. Better yet just call the mother Jane on this thread.

 

[gemini2727]

I haven't read all of the response so far, but I just want to say that any caregiver who is dealing with a baby who cannot be consoled is doing the right thing by putting the baby in a safe place (like their crib) while they take time to remain calm themselves. If I were this baby's mom, I wouldn't choose to leave him or her knowing how upset they became, but if the friend has the responsibility to watch the child, her main priority is keeping the baby safe. How many children are harmed each year by a caregiver who couldn't take the child's crying anymore? Not to imply that the OP would ever hurt the child, but it happens all the time.

 

[NewRVLady]

I honestly don't think the crying is noticeable to the neighbors.

a.

You sound like my next door neighbor who is continually astonished that her barking dog bothers us

 

[disneyworld1023]

I don't understand why people are making such an issue out of the OP referring to the baby's mother as "mama". If you read the original post it is pretty easy to understand that the OP means the child's mom, not her own.
As a babysitter myself, I never refer to the baby's mother as "your mama" when talking to the boy. He calls his mother "mama", so I call her "mama" too.
It's probably just a habit for her, what's the big deal?

 

[gemini2727]

I don't understand why people are making such an issue out of the OP referring to the baby's mother as "mama". If you read the original post it is pretty easy to understand that the OP means the child's mom, not her own.
As a babysitter myself, I never refer to the baby's mother as "your mama" when talking to the boy. He calls his mother "mama", so I call her "mama" too.
It's probably just a habit for her, what's the big deal?

I don't get that either, lol

 

[Ceila]

I don't get that either, lol

Because unless you are talking to the child himself, calling his mother "mama" is just weird to most people.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I think the mother in this scenario is immature and selfish. I think the roommate is trying to do a nice thing but is clearly not cut out for childcare. Not everyone likes kids or knows how to take care of them properly.

The mom needs parenting classes and the roommate needs to tell "Mama" that she has to step up and learn how to parent or else she will be asked to leave. No way in hell I'd be watching someone else's kid( I assume for free) unless it was a relative and even then if they were disappearing for 9 hours at a time for errands, words would be had.

Does the mom work? Does the roommate? Is this arrangement the result of one or the other receiving assistance and the other kind of mooching off of that? Sounds terrible to say, but something doesn't add up.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I don't have a huge problem with her using the word "Momma", I just wish she'd only use it like...once.

The repetition is weird.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

I don't have a huge problem with her using the word "Momma", I just wish she'd only use it like...once.

The repetition is weird.

Plus one.

 

[Skywalker]

Have you tried pudding to soothe the baby? I know you don't mind sharing

Good memory!

 

[leebee]

OP, I see from your name and the number of posts you have that you have been on the DISboards a LONG time, so you had to realize what was going to happen when you posted this. Not everyone reads the entire thread, not everyone understands what you mean, and many people jump on one or two things and just go to town on it, over and over. It would have been nice if people could have seen that you were asking for help and advice in this situation, instead of dumping on you repeatedly, poster after poster, to tell you what a terrible person you and mama are, how baby is being abused, etc. I'm really sorry about that, but you had to know it was going to happen. This happens all the time with "hot button" topics here; lots of bashing, minimal true advice given.

I don't know what you have tried and what's not worked, but it's hard when a child continues to cry, regardless of what you try. I had a daughter like that myself- she wouldn't even stay with her father, just cried and cried while I was gone. She didn't like to sleep at night, either, and would cry and cry when we put her down for the night. I went with my instincts, picked her up, rocked her, etc. Guess what? My pediatrician recommended letting her cry it out at night until she'd fall asleep, said that babies get it eventually and they'll be fine, they won't learn to self-soothe if you go in to them, etc. I responded just awhile ago to a thread, saying that DD would stand at the door and cry whenever I left the house, how we'd tried everything, and many many of the good folks here on the DISboard told me that by not letting her cry it out, I was setting DD up to be overly dependent on me, that she'd have a lifetime of woe because of her dependence on me, maybe I needed to learn to let go, etc. We figured it out at the time, and DD has grown up happy and healthy.

One thing I noticed was that the only person DD would stay with, without crying, was my sister, who sounds exactly like me. Maybe you could get the mama to make a recording of her own voice, singing some of baby's favorite songs or reading to her. When the crying gets bad, you could hold baby and play the tape. Maybe that'd help soothe her.

I know people are all hot and bothered about this , but there are as many different opinions on how to raise a child as there are posters. I feel badly for this baby you watch, NOT because I believe you are abusing her, but because she is obviously sad and distressed. I think it's good that you realize your experience with young children is limited and are trying to find out ways to help her. When I think of the number of children I see who are bruised, burned, and broken by their caregivers, I have a hard time getting worked up over a child being put in a crib, checked on repeatedly, taken out to play at intervals (READ THE POSTS PEOPLE), in a situation where someone is honestly asking for help. I would say, make sure the mama knows how her baby is reacting, how you are managing it, and ask if she has suggestions/ideas. Maybe you can work on it together to see if you can come to some resolution.

And for the record, I think it's FAR creepier to stalk/hunt down a person's posting history than for a person to refer to someone in the story as "mama."

 

[Ceila]

OP, I see from your name and the number of posts you have that you have been on the DISboards a LONG time, so you had to realize what was going to happen when you posted this. Not everyone reads the entire thread, not everyone understands what you mean, and many people jump on one or two things and just go to town on it, over and over. It would have been nice if people could have seen that you were asking for help and advice in this situation, instead of dumping on you repeatedly, poster after poster, to tell you what a terrible person you and mama are, how baby is being abused, etc. I'm really sorry about that, but you had to know it was going to happen. This happens all the time with "hot button" topics here; lots of bashing, minimal true advice given.

I don't know what you have tried and what's not worked, but it's hard when a child continues to cry, regardless of what you try. I had a daughter like that myself- she wouldn't even stay with her father, just cried and cried while I was gone. She didn't like to sleep at night, either, and would cry and cry when we put her down for the night. I went with my instincts, picked her up, rocked her, etc. Guess what? My pediatrician recommended letting her cry it out at night until she'd fall asleep, said that babies get it eventually and they'll be fine, they won't learn to self-soothe if you go in to them, etc. I responded just awhile ago to a thread, saying that DD would stand at the door and cry whenever I left the house, how we'd tried everything, and many many of the good folks here on the DISboard told me that by not letting her cry it out, I was setting DD up to be overly dependent on me, that she'd have a lifetime of woe because of her dependence on me, maybe I needed to learn to let go, etc. We figured it out at the time, and DD has grown up happy and healthy.

One thing I noticed was that the only person DD would stay with, without crying, was my sister, who sounds exactly like me. Maybe you could get the mama to make a recording of her own voice, singing some of baby's favorite songs or reading to her. When the crying gets bad, you could hold baby and play the tape. Maybe that'd help soothe her.

I know people are all hot and bothered about this , but there are as many different opinions on how to raise a child as there are posters. I feel badly for this baby you watch, NOT because I believe you are abusing her, but because she is obviously sad and distressed. I think it's good that you realize your experience with young children is limited and are trying to find out ways to help her. When I think of the number of children I see who are bruised, burned, and broken by their caregivers, I have a hard time getting worked up over a child being put in a crib, checked on repeatedly, taken out to play at intervals (READ THE POSTS PEOPLE), in a situation where someone is honestly asking for help. I would say, make sure the mama knows how her baby is reacting, how you are managing it, and ask if she has suggestions/ideas. Maybe you can work on it together to see if you can come to some resolution.

And for the record, I think it's FAR creepier to stalk/hunt down a person's posting history than for a person to refer to someone in the story as "mama."

Read the posts? For heaven's sake - we did! And most people went on what the OP's initial posts said. Of course, then she came back and tried to backpeddle and said that of course it was only once that the child was in the crib for an extended time, and of course she checked on her frequently.

As for looking back at her other posts - what is wrong with that? I thought I recognized her name, checked, and found I was right. If the board owners disagreed with being able to do that, then they could disable the ability to do so. Or gee, maybe everyone should just post anonymously every time, so it doesn't matter? If you don't want people to "know" who you are, then don't belong to a board where usernames are utilized.