Babies and Gender

[dogluva]

Inspired by the nursery thread. I'm curious why parents care so much about making sure that people know their baby's gender and making sure things are geared toward that gender. The nursery thread made me curious. I have seen posts on here about people who pierced their baby's ears just so that people would quit calling the girl a boy. I'm honestly curious, why do parents care so much how their children are perceived or that outfits/decor fit the gender of their child? The child themselves does not know or care.

**Disclaimer: I don't have children and yes, I realize that maybe I'll feel differently when I do.**

You might feel differently when you have kids. My first was a boy, got called a girl because of his curls. I didn't care so much. I did care, however, when my daughter was called "a little football player" because of her size. Even in pink. She was bald and huge as a baby. She was so pretty and it bothered me a little. Not enough to have her ears pierced, though. I usually just laughed because people didn't mean any harm.

I have since had four more. By the third, fourth, fifth and sixth I didn't care what my kids were percieved as. By that point I was putting my kids in what was clean. So what if Danny had to wear his sister's PJs. I know I am a cruel mother. They are all old enough to dress themselves now and they all weare gender appropriate clothes so in the end it doesn't really matter.

 

[NotUrsula]

I used to wonder this, but I've since discovered that it's all about the hair.

Seriously, I have a boy and a girl, and the boy is older. I saved all his clothes, and when I had a girl I decided that I would go ahead and donate the things that very obviously said boy, but keep the gender-neutral things (and that included things that were just blue, or masculine plaids, etc..)

After I had done that, I discovered something. Except for plain white tees and onesies (layette things), I didn't have anything at all sized less than 12 months. Except for layette items, they just don't MAKE gender-neutral clothing in infant sizing, and I've decided that the reason is hair.

When they are very young their hair is usually quite short, and you depend entirely on clothing to give notification of gender. Once they get a little older it's not so important that their clothing trumpet their gender, because the expectation is that their hair will be the primary clue.

Which leaves DD. At 25 months she's still very close to bald, and she can be wearing pink from head to toe and people will still assume that she is male. It doesn't bother me too much, but it drives her daddy crazy, so she is always dressed in very feminine outfits when she's out with Dad.

Oh, and my nursery was yellow and teal, as far as it went. I don't believe in decorating nurseries because I can't be bothered decorating any more often than necessary.

 

[Sorsha]

Oh, and my nursery was yellow and teal, as far as it went. I don't believe in decorating nurseries because I can't be bothered decorating any more often than necessary.

Yup, I agree.

When DD14 was born, we lived in an old 1970's mobile home. It had fake-wood panel walls and shag avocodo-and-brown carpeting in the bedroom we used as a nursery. It was a rental, so we couldn't really change much. I hung pink-and-white curtains on the window, and a few pictures on the wall; Pooh and such. I had a lot of different crib bedding, most yard-sale finds or hand-me-downs. It was always clean, and neat, but rarely had a unified theme.

When DD9 was born, she was a terribly colicky baby, and I think she was un-diagnosed with reflux. I had nursery plans, and had a room ready to go. It had flowered wallpaper (not my choice, the house came that way), and pink curtains, but still most of the same assorted bedding as her sister had. Unfortunately, I spent so many nights up walking the floor with her that we eventually moved the crib into our room for simplicity sake. Not that it helped much, she wouldn't sleep anywhere but in her carseat (the elevated position of the head and upper body helped with the reflux, I think) till she was 6 months old.

DD6 once again had most of the same assortment of bedding that her sisters had. By now some of it had been thrown away due to age or stains, and what was left had been augmented by more hand-me-downs and many crocheted blankets from well-meaning elderly friends and relatives. Her room was painted a light shade of coral-y pink, and she had a pretty flowered rug in her bedroom. She had white eyelet curtains. We lived at this time in a 105-yr old house, and I was trying to maintain a little of the period-atmosphere in my decorating.

So anyhow, not to ramble on (too late, I know) I have never been one to "decorate" with a unified theme, but rather I try to throw rooms together with what I have, or can get for a bargain, and still make them look nice (avocado and brown shag carpet notwithstanding ).

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

OP just wondering would you date a guy who wears a frilly dress. I mean now not when he was a baby..

Actually, a club in Orlando has a drag night. Some of my best friends look better in girls' clothes than I do! I would not have minded dating them, but sadly they swung the other way if you kwim. *sigh*

 

[Axel]

Funny story.

A relative of mine had an ultrasound while she was pregnant and the tech/doctor told her that she was having a girl. She told the entire family that she was having a girl and at her shower, got a ton of pink, frilly things.

She had a boy.

 

[TarzansKat]

When my son was a baby, he was always confused for a girl. He could be wearing a full blue outfit and be confused for a girl. It's because he has absolutely gorgeous auburn red hair, and when people look at that hair, for some reason, they think, must be a girl! Eventually, I didn't correct people anymore. They were only commenting on how beautiful they though "her" hair was and what a beautiful baby, so I learned how to take the compliments in stride and just laugh it off.

I would just get so amused, because no matter what color clothing I put him in, up until a certain age, strangers assumed he was a girl. The blessing and curse of that beautiful hair!