Babies and Gender

[happygirl]

I did it so I could plan the name nursery

 

[IHeartTink04]

I am currently 7 months pregnant and we do not know/will not find out the sex of our baby!

I love not knowing, it hasn't been hard not finding out but it sure drives other people crazy.

Everyone's first question is "what are you having?" we say we don't know and aren't find out and it drives them crazy! I love it!

 

[Saturn23]

I wasn't planning on finding out but then I tried to shop for gender neutral clothing. NOT FUN! I bought one white outfit and then waited to buy the rest. The nursery is a rain forest theme so it could have worked for either. I don't think I would have done an all pink room even if I did have a girl. Maybe purple though! Nobody has ever mistaken my boy for a girl, he just looks too much like a boy.

 

[SandrA9810]

Kari would love to join this conversation, she hates gender specific stuff for babies. I know the room we create will have just about every color, bright and happy colors, like everything else in this house. I have a feeling I'll tell people constantly when I have a child. I do it now with my dog, because she has such a different name, Kiani. I just use the word "she" when talking about her, and hope they catch on.
Parent's want to complain about correcting another person over a baby... Kari constantly have people come up "excuse me ma'am, ummm sir, ummm...". Even one dad telling the child "now tell the nice man thank you" when she was wearing that horrible princess outfit for the pirate and princess parties.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I've been thrift store and yard sale shopping for a dear relation's upcoming baby (girl) and have been buying things pretty much when I find them. The only thing where I've been seriously concerned about gender are clothes - no obviously boy clothes. I've got lots of things that are navy blue and green and gray. I and dear relation's family simply DO NOT CARE. It is enough that the baby has a place to sleep and play and clothes to wear and toys to play with!

I don't think the baby will care and I know none of the adults will . . .

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I won't be finding out ahead of time, and will know the old fashioned way at delivery, lol. It's not customary in my religion to have a baby shower or set up a nursery ahead of time, so that doesn't factor into it.

 

[HelenePA]

why did I find out early? simply because I could Either way its a surprise I just didn't wait the whole 40+wks to find out. I also peek at Christmas presents before the big day.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Actually, I never intended this thread to delve into finding out early. (Guess I should have seen that coming!) To me that is completely different from someone saying that even if they like a color that is "neutral" they won't paint a nursery because it must correspond with a baby's gender, or that they will pierce their daughter's ears just so people will know the baby is a girl.

Interesting comments though. It got me to thinking about when I have kids. How bad would it really be for a little boy to wear a dress, or a little girl to wear something with trains on it or whatever? If you had baby clothes left over from a child of the opposite gender, why not save your money and reuse them? Really, the baby will not know. It's interesting how we start pigeon holing kids into gender roles at such a young age. I knew one little boy (kindergarten age) who loved anything distinctly feminine. Dresses, make-up, etc. It was kind of nice that his parents didn't pitch a fit when he would bring home something "girly" from the prize box at school. I kind of wish we could be more like that about a lot of things, particularly when it comes to such young children.

 

[HelenePA]

I had 2 girls then 2 boys. Why didn't I reuse the girls clothes on the boys? Because after that many years of pink/purple it was a nice change to buy some red/blue/orange (my favorite color!) for little boys! I'm sure the girls had some of those colors but it was nice to head on over to the boys section after only shopping in the girls for 4 years! Baby clothes are my addiction. Plus you need to think about sizes and seasons sometimes you can't really reuse things if one was born in the summer other in winter. One might be huge the other tiny. I did reuse some of the gender neutral stuff on the boys I had from the girls like white/yellow/green onesies but I did not dress them in pink frilly stuff.. nope not gonna happen. I dont care how much money I would save!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I did not find out with either of my kids. The nursery was a victorian stlye in mint green with rabbits. Among other reasons (like it was by far my favourite "look"), I would not have had a gender specific nursery becuase I knew I was likely to have two chidren close in age and would not have wanted to "redecorate." Sure DD had some frilly dresses (bought after she was born) but she also had plenty of cute denim overalls, bright orange, etc. Many, many hitngs her brotehr wore two years later. Funny seeing all the comments here--12 years ago I had no problems finding tons of different looks and colors that were not gender specific. I think these things may go in cycles.

When DD wore denim lots of people asssumed she was a boy. I didn't really care. Sometimes I botehred to correct them (mostly as a way of continuing the small talk) sometimes I didn't. A few times people assumed boy when she was wearing pink frills--that cracked me up. Then things went the opposite direction. DS has very delicate features and LONG eyelashes. People constantly assumed he was a girl (no matter what he wore). One man even argued with me and got angry when I insited he was a boy--this man said I was lying okay, yeah. Poor DS still gets called a girl at least once a month (he's 10 now)--I swear it is the eye lashes. Most recently it was someone tellign me I hsould let my younger daughter grow her hair out like her sisters because it would be so beautiful with her eyes Anyway, I guess DS took his cues from DH and I early on becuase he really doesn't care much-he rarely even botehrs to correct someone. No biggie.

 

[Sorsha]

Interesting comments though. It got me to thinking about when I have kids. How bad would it really be for a little boy to wear a dress, or a little girl to wear something with trains on it or whatever? If you had baby clothes left over from a child of the opposite gender, why not save your money and reuse them? Really, the baby will not know. It's interesting how we start pigeon holing kids into gender roles at such a young age.

ITA! Although, as I mentioned, I had a ton of little frilly pink things, it wasn't because I chose them. Extended family loves dressing little girls up in ruffles, so that's all they ever received as gifts. And let me tell you, large extended family = LOTS of frilly pink things. *I* personally prefer more gender neutral things (denim, more "useful" clothes, etc), so if I was doing the buying, that's what got purchased anyhow. My favorite colors are "fall" colors; oranges, browns, dark reds and greens, etc so I bought a lot of those too. That's one reason I love Gymboree clothes (I am such a gymbo addict...), they come in unique prints, colors, and lines and are hardly ever "frilly". My fav outfit on my babies was a little pair of Osh-Kosh footed overalls, dark blue denim, with a red velour long-sleeved onesie. My babies always had dark hair and eyes and the red just looked so pretty! And the overalls were beyond cute.

So anyhow, my kids always had lots of gender-neutral things, and I could easiily have passed them from child to child, and did! But to tell you the truth, by the time DD6 was born, I would have welcomed the excuse to go buy new "boy" clothes. I love my baby girls, don't get me wrong, but I also love to shop, and some of the boys stuff is so darn cute!! So I bought it anyhow. DD6 had a lot of outfits from the boys section, and I would add a cute matching hairbow and some ruffley socks. Viola! Girls clothes.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

My favorite color is pink, so obviously, when I had two girls they wore a lot of pink!

I honestly do not think dressing your children or painting their nursery a specific color is going to have any effect on them what so ever.

Now, if you're belittling you son for playing with a doll or forcing your daughter not to play with her brother's trucks because "it's not normal", that's where the problems lie. But, dressing your so in a nice little blue suit is not going to damage him, nor is dressing him in pink bunny pajamas.

As for parents wanting to make sure everyone knows what sex their child is: it gets frustrating when you have to correct people all the time I'm sure. It's not about being ashamed, it's the whole "No, Aunt Gertie, she's a girl, remember?" that gets old.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I honestly do not think dressing your children or painting their nursery a specific color is going to have any effect on them what so ever.

Now, if you're belittling you son for playing with a doll or forcing your daughter not to play with her brother's trucks because "it's not normal", that's where the problems lie. But, dressing your so in a nice little blue suit is not going to damage him, nor is dressing him in pink bunny pajamas.

:

ITA

 

[HelenePA]

OP just wondering would you date a guy who wears a frilly dress. I mean now not when he was a baby..

 

[C.Ann]

Back in my day, the closest thing to finding out the gender of your baby was someone taking your wedding ring, tying it to a string, and holding it over your pregnant belly.. If it swung back and forth it meant one thing, around in a circle, another (can't remember which was which) - LOL.. However, had the technology been available, I would NOT have wanted to know the gender of my babies before they arrived.. I liked the element of "surprise".. I picked out wallpaper for the nursery that had pink, blue, yellow, and green in it - so my bases were "covered"..

DD and her DH also chose NOT to learn the gender of my DGD before she was born.. It was a very suspenseful time because there had been no girls born on my son-in-law's side of the family in 85 years - so you can just imagine the reaction when it turned out to be a girl!! Again, bases were covered for either gender with the nursery.. DD chose Mickey and Minnie nursery wallpaper..

Guess we're a little old-fashioned because we all like surprises and can't help but feel a little disappointed (even though we know it's not our choice) when friends and relatives find out the gender of the baby before it's born.. I'm sure they have their reasons why they make that choice, but for the rest of us it just kind of diminishes some of the "excitement" and "anticipation".. Of course, to each their own..

 

[Katy Belle]

We didn't find out the gender of our babies until they were born. It drove some people crazy, but not us. The nursery was primary colors, mostly red, with teddy bears. There were ruffles on the quilts and a bed ruffle on the crib. I felt it would work for both genders. We had 3 boys.

I did get one outfit before DS1 was born that was mostly gender neutral, but had some big, hot pink, squares all over it. I could never bring myself to have him wear that. Nothing else bothered me. DS2 had long curls and once a man even called him a 'little lady', didn't bother me much. Same DS just cut his mid-back length hair at age 12. People did think he was female some of the time, he didn't care. He liked his gorgeous hair!

 

[princessbride6205]

I find it amusing and a teeny bit annoying that our DD is often mistaken for a boy when wearing a frilly dress. Really, I just don't get how you could be so blind, but whatever.
I have purchased lots of gender-neutral stuff for DD for daycare/play clothes. Shorts from the boy dept are a little baggy and come down to the knee & come in neutrals like gray and navy - easy to match. All the girl ones are so short they barely cover the diaper and are all in colors like pink, purple, etc. She also wore a spring jacket that was red and navy, because I'm not sending an 18-mos old to play in the dirt with a light pink coat (all Target had in her size)! Does DD have a lot of cute girly outfits? Sure. But she doesn't have to wear them everyday. If she gets mistaken for a boy...meh.

 

[2binak]

We didn't find out DD's gender until the moment she was born. Everyone we knew made comments like "How are we supposed to shop if we don't know if you're having a boy or a girl?" I told them that I loved neutral colors on babies. Beside, I did not want a house full of one color or the other. I have lots of friends who got sick of all the blue or pink after a few weeks and ended up going out and buying clothes of different colors just to break up the sea of one color. Even to this day, I am so happy to find a shirt, pants or an outfit that is not pink or purple! We went shoe shopping this weekend and I was so disappointed because they didn't have white or brown sandals that fit DD. We ended up buying these bright pink sandals that are cute, but so over the top girly! Last Fall, I bought DD a brown sweatshirt-lined jacket because it was warmer than the jackets they had for girls - which were lightweight, pink or white and frilly. I've even bought boys jeans or shorts because the boy jeans aren't lowrise like the girl's jeans are and the boys shorts are longer.

 

[LuvBaloo]

I had 2 girls and did not find out before what they were. With the first DD, our house, had a room already done in yellow with Winnie-the-Pooh border, so no decorating needed. The crib bedding we ended up going with was light blue with cute animals all over it.
My grandmother made a quilt for the baby and it was done in a light blue cloud pattern. Blue is my favourite colour, and that was the last quilt my grandmother made, so I'd have loved it no matter what. I used it for my 2nd DD and have kept it.
DH painted a cradle and it was done in light blue (used the leftover paint from when we painted our room). Originally I said if it was a girl, I'd buy some pink ribbon to weave through the bars, but then it just didn't matter.
So our girls had lots of blue around them, and it was great. They were dressed in a lot of pink too, and were continually mistaken for boys. Sometimes it was just funny, how a baby dressed head to toe in pink ruffles would get called a boy.

I did also buy some of their play clothes from the boys section (cheaper, and handles dirt better). I dont know why so many little girls coats/snowsuits come in light pink - it gets filthy and I can never get them clean again. After 1 pale pink winter coat, I have never bought another light coloured one.

DSIL found out she was having a girl, and it was kind of nice to be able to pick up girlie gifts ahead of time, but I'm still happy I didn't know ahead of time.

 

[mickeyboat]

We did not find out ahead of time with either DD. My DH's sisters all had kide before me, and I don't think they found out either, so there were lots of neutral hand-me-downs available.

Plus lots of people gave us clothes after the girls were born, so there was no shortage of pink.

I don't remember ever being annoyed if someone called DDs boys. I don't know if it just didn't happen, or if I was too tired to be upset about it.