BMWDSNY CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM GRUMBO . . . .
GRUMBO: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
BMWDSNY: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
GRUMBO: Mac?
BMWDSNY: No, the name's Melinda.
GRUMBO: Your computer?
BMWDSNY: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one
GRUMBO: Mac?
BMWDSNY: I told you, my name's Melinda.
GRUMBO: What about Windows?
BMWDSNY: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
GRUMBO: Do you want a computer with Windows?
BMWDSNY: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
GRUMBO: Wallpaper.
BMWDSNY: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
GRUMBO: Software for Windows?
BMWDSNY: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
GRUMBO: Office.
BMWDSNY: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
GRUMBO: I just did.
BMWDSNY: You just did what?
GRUMBO: Recommend something.
BMWDSNY: You recommended something?
GRUMBO: Yes.
BMWDSNY: For my office?
GRUMBO: Yes.
BMWDSNY: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
GRUMBO: Office.
BMWDSNY: Yes, for my office!
GRUMBO: I recommend Office with Windows.
BMWDSNY: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
GRUMBO: Word.
BMWDSNY: What word?
GRUMBO: Word in Office.
BMWDSNY: The only word in office is office.
GRUMBO: The Word in Office for Windows.
BMWDSNY: Which word in office for windows?
GRUMBO: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
BMWDSNY: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
GRUMBO: Yes, you want Real One.
BMWDSNY: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
GRUMBO: Real One.
BMWDSNY: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
GRUMBO: Of course.
BMWDSNY: Great! With what?
GRUMBO: Real One.
BMWDSNY: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
GRUMBO: You click the blue "1".
BMWDSNY: I click the blue one what?
GRUMBO: The blue "1".
BMWDSNY: Is that different from the blue w?
GRUMBO: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
BMWDSNY: What word?
GRUMBO: The Word in Office for Windows.
BMWDSNY: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
GRUMBO: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
BMWDSNY: It is?
GRUMBO: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
BMWDSNY: And that word is real one?
GRUMBO: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
BMWDSNY: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
GRUMBO: Money.
BMWDSNY: That's right. What do you have?
GRUMBO: Money.
BMWDSNY: I need money to track my money?
GRUMBO: It comes bundled with your computer
BMWDSNY: What's bundled with my computer?
GRUMBO: Money.
BMWDSNY: Money comes with my computer?
GRUMBO: Yes. No extra charge.
BMWDSNY: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
GRUMBO: One copy.
BMWDSNY: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
GRUMBO: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
BMWDSNY: They can give you a license to copy money?
GRUMBO: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER ....
GRUMBO: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
BMWDSNY: How do I turn my computer off?
GRUMBO: Click on "START"....
-Jazz