August 20, 2005 - L.A. to Port Canaveral - Eastbound Repo Cruise - The SHIP OF FOOLS Part 2

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by mark & sandra
You already know those wacko Desperate Dis Wives-

Then there are the men:

Hunky new neighbor Grumbo a supposedly widowed government employee who has Sratch42 and Mississaugamom vying for his attention; Jim who's just told Eileen he wants a divorce; Barbara's better half, Brian who figures he bought his wife a $15,000 diamond necklace, so she should do whatever he tells her; as for Bob, there must be a reason why he's acting so suspiciously – and why he's digging up the pool in the middle of the night!

The plot thickens--

Mark, you watch entirely too much T.V. - either that or you are a writer for the show!!!

 

[mark & sandra]

1. Fearless Leader In Command – Bmwdsny (Melinda)---HAH!!
2. Second In Command with full authority –
Mississaugamom (Arlene)-------------------------DOUBLE HAH!!
3. Secretary of Defense – Scratch42 (Janet)---YEAH RIGHT!!
4. CEO of Security – EileenAmI( Eileen)--YOU MEAN INSECURITY!!
5. Public Relations and Correspondence - Mom2Belle&PeterPan (Barbara)----GET BUSY WRITING THE OBITS!!
6. Fearless Comrade – DenverVal (Val)--DISAVOWED
7. Fearless Comrade – Piglet33 (Renee’)--DISAVOWED
8. Fearless Comrade – Denise W (Denise)--DISAVOWED
9. Fearless Comrade – mark & sandra (Sandra)--DISAVOWED
10. Fearless Comrade – izzinmac (Mary)--DISAVOWED
11. Fearless Comrade – gassmandy (Amanda)--DISAVOWED
12. Fearless Comrade – Luv2Dream (Lynn)--DISAVOWED
14. Fearless Comrade – Ehtpnt (Estelle)--DISAVOWED
15. Fearless Comrade – Mickeyfan1 (Marsha)--DISAVOWED
16. Fearless Comrade – Denine (Denine)--DISAVOWED
17. Fearless Comrade - AuntyBrat (Laura)--DISAVOWED
18. Fearless Comrade - ivanova (Susan)--DISAVOWED
19. Fearless Comrade - winotracy (Tracy)--DISAVOWED

 

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by mark & sandra
1. Fearless Leader In Command – Bmwdsny (Melinda)---HAH!!
2. Second In Command with full authority –
Mississaugamom (Arlene)-------------------------DOUBLE HAH!!
3. Secretary of Defense – Scratch42 (Janet)---YEAH RIGHT!!
4. CEO of Security – EileenAmI( Eileen)--YOU MEAN INSECURITY!!
5. Public Relations and Correspondence - Mom2Belle&PeterPan (Barbara)----GET BUSY WRITING THE OBITS!!
6. Fearless Comrade – DenverVal (Val)--DISAVOWED
7. Fearless Comrade – Piglet33 (Renee’)--DISAVOWED
8. Fearless Comrade – Denise W (Denise)--DISAVOWED
9. Fearless Comrade – mark & sandra (Sandra)--DISAVOWED
10. Fearless Comrade – izzinmac (Mary)--DISAVOWED
11. Fearless Comrade – gassmandy (Amanda)--DISAVOWED
12. Fearless Comrade – Luv2Dream (Lynn)--DISAVOWED
14. Fearless Comrade – Ehtpnt (Estelle)--DISAVOWED
15. Fearless Comrade – Mickeyfan1 (Marsha)--DISAVOWED
16. Fearless Comrade – Denine (Denine)--DISAVOWED
17. Fearless Comrade - AuntyBrat (Laura)--DISAVOWED
18. Fearless Comrade - ivanova (Susan)--DISAVOWED
19. Fearless Comrade - winotracy (Tracy)--DISAVOWED

I'M TELLING SANDRA!!!#*!!!!#!!!!

 

[mark & sandra]

Let's put some faces with the characters!!

Arlene-Mississaugamom

Janet-Scratch42

Melinda-Bmwdsny

Eileen-EileenAmI

Barbara-Mom2Belle&PeterPan

 

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by mark & sandra
Let's put some faces with the characters!!

Arlene-Mississaugamom

Janet-Scratch42

Melinda-Bmwdsny

Eileen-EileenAmI

Barbara-Mom2Belle&PeterPan

Why thank you very much. Sincerely, The Sisterhood - alias "Desperate DISWives"

 

[Bmwdsny]

WOW!!! Yes, Aren't we SEXY!!!! Thank you.....

Barbara, you sure did very very well here!! You deserve to be in my place in Sisterhood Alliance!! BTW, you know i just kidding around with you!! I do hope you are feeling better though...
Wonderful List!!!! I am printing it now!!

Oh boy, now Mark got the DH involved in the Cruise soaps....

Hey, Jazz, planning to crash and burn with your airplane?? (he knows just what i am talking about!!)
I had to explain to some others in a private forum what you and Grumbo are all about!!!! (Mark, Grumbo, you know what i am talking about too!!)


WHERE IS ARLENE??????? She would know what i am talking about too!!!!!!

 

[Scratch42]

Originally posted by mark & sandra
Let's put some faces with the characters!!

Arlene-Mississaugamom

Janet-Scratch42

Melinda-Bmwdsny

Eileen-EileenAmI

Barbara-Mom2Belle&PeterPan

As Secretary of Defence (and laundry for tonight!LOL), I have to warn you gals that he is up to something!

Those pics are way too complimentary!

Be prepared!

Scratch

 

[Bmwdsny]

Thank you Ms. Janet...

You certainly have a point...What mechanism of defense action should we take??

Oh by the way, I think i may know where Ms. Arlene is...She is not too far from Grumbo's place so she is checking out where exactly he is taking his wife to eat tonight...We Sisters are just making sure that Doris is being treated properly and respect and eating at a fancy resturant that she so derserves!

 

[mark & sandra]

Originally posted by Bmwdsny
You certainly have a point...What mechanism of defense action should we take??

AHHH Vanity, gets 'em every time!!

Nothing you gals could do... Except maybe bring me a beer!! O.K. toots!! While your up could you make me a sandwich too?? Don't forget the mustard like you did last time!! Thanks sugar, you're the best!! What would we do without you gals?? Oh sweetheart, I'm bringing the guys over after our poker game. Could you clean up this place a little?? Not your usual way, make believe your mother coming over!! Alright, see you later, love ya...Mark

 

[mississaugamom]

SORRY SISTERS!!!!!

As a special treat since her hand is bothering her so much, I picked Lara up right after school and took her to see "The Polar Express" tonight. If you get the chance to see it in IMAX 3-D, Do It! It was awesome on the big screen! We then went out for dinner together.

See guys - we start 'em early on the Sisterhood path!

Actually, Martin was at a seminar all day and not due home until later tonight! I wanted to spend some extra time with her since I have server upgrades at work tomorrow night...

Melinda - There is NO WAY, NO HOW I sold you out on your alternate location!!!!!!!!!!!! I've posted peacefully there for the last four years - I DIDN'T INVITE THEM!!!!!!!!

Barbara - great job defending in our absence! I think YOU should be the number two in this Organization!!!

You're right, Scratch - those photos are very, very flattering! They must be up to something really BAD ...

Off to check the damage at our "other" location!

Arlene

 

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by mark & sandra
AHHH Vanity, gets 'em every time!!

Nothing you gals could do... Except maybe bring me a beer!! O.K. toots!! While your up could you make me a sandwich too?? Don't forget the mustard like you did last time!! Thanks sugar, you're the best!! What would we do without you gals?? Oh sweetheart, I'm bringing the guys over after our poker game. Could you clean up this place a little?? Not your usual way, make believe your mother coming over!! Alright, see you later, love ya...Mark

Actually, given the content of this note, you've already had one too many tonight...going manic on us again Mark?!

Melinda, I knew that you were "playin" - No worries! Happy packing tonight...it won't be the same without ya!

Arlene, that was GREAT that you took Lara out, poor babes. Hope she has good pain relief (important to keep under control), and that you get through your server upgrades tomorrow night.

Yes Sisterhood, these guys are up to something...BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST!

Well, that's it for me tonight...I'm a tired "Sister."

G'nite, til' later.

 

[mark & sandra]

Yes, yes I'm up early. Never really slept much last night!!

I bought something really cool, what I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!
I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Sandy what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Sandy to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time.

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!" Friggin' way--trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree? ).

I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight—always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY ********* DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!! I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-BLANK that hurt!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure.

By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. Miss 'em . sure would like to get 'em back.

Had tears in my eyes for 20 minutes

 

[Jazzman]

Arrgh!
ROFL!!!



-Jazz

 

[Jazzman]

... everyone in the office is giving me very strange looks. I closed my door but my office has a window and people are looking in at me. I think they are doubting my sanity right now.

Mark, I just wrote the word 'restraint' on a piece of paper and mailed it to you. Please keep it with you at all times.

-Jazz

 

[Scratch42]

NEWSFLASH!

 

[Scratch42]

Looks Like Mark is helping with my DEFENSE Situation!

Not to worry!

But I doubt he will do that again!
Gracie ~ she's on our side, don't you know!



Scratch

 

[EileenAmI]

LMAO!!!!

Sisterhood,

I will be looking into getting the "Mark Restraints" immediately!! Can't you just see it, a man walks up to you and says, "Hi, my name is Mark." Then, only a few short seconds later, he is lying on the floor, drool hanging from his lower lip, extremities flopping all over the place and is mumbling, "Have you seen my testicles??" Of course, it's probably not THE Mark, but guess what, your reflexes are 100%! You'll be ready next time for the F.A.B. Four!

Eileen
CEO of Security

 

[izzinmac]

Mark...I just wet myself!!!

Your story telling skills are unfortunately completely offset by your lack of good judgement skills! In this case, they make a classic post!

I suppose with your anatomical loss you will now be joining the "Sisterhood"!

 

[Bmwdsny]

Oh C' mon..I felt like i was in a Men's Bathroom listening what Mark had to say!! Is this becoming a Mens thread??
Mark, choose your words very carefully...you are a step closer to the Village of the Banned in Bahamas!!!
anyway, looks like Gracie is much smarter than you!!!
How Sad!!!!

Janet, i am sure you can think of something better than he would for defense!!! LOL!!!

Got this on my e mail..I get newsletters about DCL...
Disney Cruise Line News:
New Show for the West Coast Itinerary
Disney Cruise Line recently held a casting call for a new musical show to inaugurate the Magic's West Coast itinerary. The show director is Joe Calarco and the choreographer Karma Camp. Watch for this new show as the Magic starts its California voyages in 2005.

 

[Bmwdsny]

Quote by Izzinmac:

I just wet myself


BOb, Go buy Depends!! They are on sale this week!! You don't have to be ALBERT EINSTEIN to know this!!!!!!