August 20, 2005 - L.A. to Port Canaveral - Eastbound Repo Cruise - The SHIP OF FOOLS Part 2

[Bmwdsny]

Originally posted by Grumbo
Janet, with all due respect "You ain't the boss of me!"
So "Loony Boyz in the Hood" it is.

Cheers,
Grumbo

Janet,

Let Grumbo have his way for now...We sisters have to pick and chose our battles with them...Once you have your Cuba training and learn your defenses, they will end up being Loony boyz ON the hood!!, of perhaps some cars...
(Besides, it would be nice to see some boys display on the hood for once, instead of women! ) LOL!!!

In the mean time, let them win some little battles!! Our goal is to WIN THE WAR at the end. They won't know what hit them!!

 

[izzinmac]

Originally posted by Grumbo
Geez think JGE may have to provide Reading Comprehension 101 for the sisterhood also.

Cheers,
Grumbo

Grumbo...That would be a totally wasted endeavor!! My Gawd, they read just like they think!!! Case in point...Mary and I went to the grocery store. Q from Mary, "Do we have enough Dog Food?" Clueless, but not stupid, I say "Yes". To which she replies, "Are you sure?" Which tells me to change my answer to "No". At which point she states, "You don't even know how much we have!!" My response, "If you knew that, why ask me in the first place?!!!" She huffs off mumbling! I tell you, they all think alike...and it is totally without logic! No wonder we never win...it's like peeing into the wind!!

 

[AuntyBrat]

Well if you are relieving yourself into the wind that would certainly explain the nasty odor everyone has been complaining about.

As for the what ever we call the male set of the species on this cruise, I am sure they won't care as long as we do not call them late for:

Martoonis
D&N Escapades
Food
Beer
Food
Chance of seeing anyone doing something they would like to ridcule them about on these and any other boards for the rest of their lives, especially if there are photographs they can attach later....

 

[izzinmac]

Hey Guys...
Now that she's feeling better, it looks like this one could be serious trouble. What are we going to do??

 

[mark & sandra]

Originally posted by Grumbo
Geez think JGE may have to provide Reading Comprehension 101 for the sisterhood also.

I started to compile the list for your upcoming class.

CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? ... really means, "There is no way I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.


I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. ... really means, "without you in it."


DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?... really means, "We haven't had a fight in a while."


NO, PIZZA'S FINE.... really means, "you cheap slob!"


I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. ... really means, "I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now.


I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? ... really means, "I can't believe you have nothing planned!"


COME HERE. ... really means, "My puppy does this, too."


I LIKE YOU, BUT... really means, "I don't like you."


OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.... really means, "just not in that way."


YOU NEVER LISTEN. ... really means, "You never listen.


WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY. ... really means, "I'm not going to stay over until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.


I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.... really means, "I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will."


OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF. ... really means, "I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch."



I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS. .... really means, "We're gonna get drunk and make fun of you and your friends.

 

[Jazzman]

izzinmac writes:

Hey Guys...
Now that she's feeling better, it looks like this one could be serious trouble. What are we going to do??

Mark - fire up the tazer...

-Jazz

 

[mark & sandra]

Women are always whining about how the men in their lives do this wrong or don't do that right. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow...Mark

Jazz- She's a tough one, what do you think, maybe a 5 second burst??

 

[mark & sandra]

Grumbo, here's some more women to men translations for your class.

You want = You want

We need = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What’s wrong?")

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot

I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam

 

[Bmwdsny]

Izzi, Mark, Jazz....Feel better?? We sisters decieded to dedicate this forum to the men tonight who has the need to whine and relieved their mad hormones......Post on....You doing great!!
Grumbo can join in too anytime tonight....he can come out of the closet and express himself ....tell him not to be afraid....

Sisters, please kindly refrain any negative posting for tonight as we will act bigger and more mature than the Men's egos, so sit back and laugh it off...

Gentlemen, This offer expires at midnight tonight....

 

[mark & sandra]

Dedicated to the women in our lives:

Q: Why do they call it PMS?

A: Mad Cow Disease was already taken!!
-----------------------------------------------------

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb.
They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT.

They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before
they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't
be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've
been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light
bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two
rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE
CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?!
BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF
GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE
HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry...what did you ask me?

 

[mark & sandra]

Grumbo, I have some other ideas for classes you might want to give to the sisters.

Training Courses For Women.
1. Silence, the Final frontier: Where no woman has gone before.

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You do not need new shoes every'day.

4. Parties: Going without new outfits

5. Man Management: Discover how minor household chores can wait until after'the game.

6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men need space in the bathroom cabinet
too.

7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His razor is His.

8. Valuation: Just because it's not important to you...

9. Communication Skills I: Tears - The last resort, not the first

10. Communication Skills II: Thinking before speaking

11. Communications Skills III: Getting what you want, without
nagging

12. Driving a car safely; A skill you can acquire

13. Party Etiquette: Drinking your fair share

14. Telephone Skills: How to hang up

15. Introduction to parking

16. Advanced parking: Reversing into a space

17. Overcoming anal retentive behaviour: Leaving the towels on the floor

18. Water retention: fact or fat?

19. Cooking I: Bringing back bacon, eggs & butter

20. Cooking II: Bran & Tofu aren't for human consumption

21. Cooking III: How not to inflict your diets on other people

22. Compliments; Accepting them gracefully

23. PMS; Your problem...Not his

24. Dancing; Why men don't want to

25. Sex; It's for married couples too

26. Classic Clothing: Wearing outfits you already have

27. Household Dust: A harmless natural occurrence only women
notice

28. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing it all together

29. Ballet: for women only

30. Oil & Gas: Your car needs both

31. Learning to go in public toilets

32. Appreciating the humour of the three stooges

33. "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" - Why men lie

34. TV Remotes: For men only."

 

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by Bmwdsny

Sisters, please kindly refrain any negative posting for tonight as we will act bigger and more mature than the Men's egos, so sit back and laugh it off...

Melinda, I tried, I really tried, but these Looneyhoods have crossed the line with their Sisterhood bashing, sooo....

I e-mailed Sandra and all is taken care of. Mark is sitting on the porch of his home in the freezing cold with all of his clothing dispersed upon the front lawn. Sandra has been through this before, so she had the locks to the house changed, and their kids have been instructed to ignore the dog barking at the front door. Their neighbors have a rule to not answer the door to Mark when he is without Sandra. If Mark behaves properly thoughout the night, Sandra will consider a reprieve.

Sisters, please pray for Mark that he obtains Sandra's forgiveness or we may never have a funny story here again....Good night Mark, hope you had your jacket with you - your car keys, wallet, I.D., cell phone, laptop, palm pilot, and credit card are in the house with Sandra, HA!!!!!!!

And BTW AuntyBrat - WAY TO GO, YOU ARE A "TRUE SHIP OF FOOLS SISTER!!!"

Melinda dear fearless leader, when exactly do you leave? Are ya' packed?!

Arlene, are you alive after all that workin' this past weekend? Talk about a high stress job, kudos and good resting tonight to you!

 

[mississaugamom]

Originally posted by Mom2Belle&PeterPan

Arlene, are you alive after all that workin' this past weekend? Talk about a high stress job, kudos and good resting tonight to you!

I'm here. Dead tired from the weekend, but the hard work paid off - there were very few problems today. so I look good to the boss.

Only problem is that I'm getting run down; my throat is sore and my voice is gone. (Yes, Mark - Martin is getting a quiet night tonight! ) I'm going to bed soon, so hopefully a good night's sleep will help.

Tick-tock, gentlemen! You have another 90 minutes to "bash" away - then we take back the thread

AuntyBrat - You Are Our Kind of Sister - thanks for chiming in!!!

"Talk" to you all tomorrow!

Arlene

 

[AuntyBrat]

My dear, darling sisters, there is a reason why I am known as Aunty Brat. I used to just be known as The Brat. Ask Ivanova, all the kids call me Aunty Brat and most of my friends exhusbands fear me, at least the ones that aren't dead yet....even my exhusbands fear me....

Is it the way I had them served with divorce papers, or is it the way I served my friends ex's with divorce papers? Is it the rearrainging of furniture when I knew they would come home drunk and fall all over everything? Could it have been loosening EVERY light bulb in the house except the microwave and fridge? Could it have been removing every light bulb including the microwave and fridge and placing them in neat stacks in the garage? Ah....the joys I have had messing with the men who messed with my friends....and I haven't even gotten to the ones who ended up in jail.....

Happy Thoughts!!!

Laura

 

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by mississaugamom
I'm here. Dead tired from the weekend, but the hard work paid off - there were very few problems today. so I look good to the boss.

Only problem is that I'm getting run down; my throat is sore and my voice is gone. (Yes, Mark - Martin is getting a quiet night tonight! ) I'm going to bed soon, so hopefully a good night's sleep will help.

Arlene

Feel better Arlene, good night...maybe you need to take a personal day off, bet you never do that...consider it if you are feeling close to being sick. Pixie dust to you!

 

[Mom2Belle&PeterPan]

Originally posted by AuntyBrat
My dear, darling sisters, there is a reason why I am known as Aunty Brat. I used to just be known as The Brat. Ask Ivanova, all the kids call me Aunty Brat and most of my friends exhusbands fear me, at least the ones that aren't dead yet....even my exhusbands fear me....

Is it the way I had them served with divorce papers, or is it the way I served my friends ex's with divorce papers? Is it the rearrainging of furniture when I knew they would come home drunk and fall all over everything? Could it have been loosening EVERY light bulb in the house except the microwave and fridge? Could it have been removing every light bulb including the microwave and fridge and placing them in neat stacks in the garage? Ah....the joys I have had messing with the men who messed with my friends....and I haven't even gotten to the ones who ended up in jail.....

Happy Thoughts!!!

Laura

BE AFRAID LooneyHood / F.A.B. Four / FoolsRus - BE VERY AFRAID!!! AuntyBrat is a SISTER!!!

 

[mark & sandra]

Originally posted by AuntyBrat
Ah....the joys I have had messing with the men who messed with my friends....

Finally!! A woman not afraid to show some passion!! On behalf of all the men on this thread AuntyBrat, "BRING IT ON", you don't scare us!! Although her strength is she's a "Sister", her weakness is she's a woman!! I look forward to sitting across from you at Diversions comparing war stories. You bring the alcohol, I'll bring the camera!!...Mark

 

[Bmwdsny]

Gentlemen,
Just a kind reminder that you have just under an hour to whine...

Barbara,
That is OK, i know it is very hard to swallow and read these posts against women. But we are strong!! and we shall be stronger and prevail!!
I have a flight at 12:30 PM on Wednesday!!

Arlene,
You deserve a day off!! I know you work hard and i hope you feel better soon.

Also, i think Aunty Brat should have a title next to her name other than just a sister. She is a survivor and a very strong one. Barbara, can you think of a approriate title for her?

I am sure Janet would agree too..Between Laura and Janet, we got the best defense!!!

Oh, i saw on the other forum that the Dis will be down starting on Friday night for 24-48 hours. So you will be DIS free for the weekend. Ladies, go shopping and spend $$$. Me, well, you know where i will be!! and the MEN, do something purposeful!

Good night everyone, and Sisters , if you are still up after midnight, feel free to post and start another battle...
See you in the morning!!

 

[mark & sandra]

Originally posted by Mom2Belle&PeterPan
...maybe you need to take a personal day off, bet you never do that...

Q: How does a SAHM take a personal day off?

A: Trick question here folks. They're ALL personal days off!!

 

[mark & sandra]

Originally posted by Bmwdsny
Also, i think Aunty Brat should have a title next to her name other than just a sister... can you think of a approriate title for her?

We're working on it as we speak. We'll get back to you with one shortly!!