At What Point Do You Move?

[Taja]

A lot of excellent ideas.

In addition to having an idea of where you want to live (city, suburbs, rural, etc.), be sure to learn a bit about the locations and the cost of living. You don't need to learn everything when sending out resumes, but be sure to have a good idea prior to interviewing. That way, you and your DH have some idea of minimum compensation for your family to survive financially.

As others have said, it's a tough job market nearly every where.

My parents moved from the midwest to southern California when I was young (preschool), then we moved several times (about every two years) while I was in school. Different school districts three times, where I had to leave my friends and comfort zone. Didn't love it at the time, but in restrospect, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me!

Even if your DH finds a position that requires a move, your children will survive very nicely. They may be unhappy for a while, but will develop new friends--and possibly keep the old ones--and learn to adapt to new situations. Something most of us have to do throughout our lives!

Good luck! Hope your DH finds a new job soon!

 

[MSSANDRA]

Prayers for you family....

We are going to be in a situation shortly that is much like yours. DH has been out of work since July and I work part-time. We both need to find good full time jobs. Right now a wonderful severence package is a blessing!! Moving is simply will not work for us. We have elderly parents that count on us, and DGS that we care for but do not have custody of so......

Question for OP...how in the world have you been paying for cobra all this time??? When our insurace runs out, cobra would be 1900 a mo.

Not sure what we are going to do here yet!!!!!

 

[Pastamom]

Prayers for you family....

Question for OP...how in the world have you been paying for cobra all this time??? When our insurace runs out, cobra would be 1900 a mo.

We are still only paying the 35% for COBRA. When that ends it will be about $1600. Luckily we have no other debt than our house and we have a decent rainy day fund.

Thanks for all the great suggestions. Keep them coming. I will mention them to DH.

For those of you who asked. DH has an MIS degree and is going back to school for a certificate in Computer Technology. He will have that in May. At his former job, he did IT, programming, software design, and customer service. In May he will be able to do web design, and program in some other languages so he is doing what he can to educate himself quickly to make him more marketable.

He would be willing to make less to get benefits - but unfortunately so would everyone else....

The good news is that I talked to my boss yesterday and am 1 step closer to going full time and getting those benefits so we could be a little more flexible in his search.

Thanks again You have all helped.

 

[castanhope]

Just another thing to think about...is there a reason you need the level of benefits that you currently have? My dh is self-employed also in the software development field, and we pay for our own health insurance policy. It runs about $400/month for basic coverage for our family of 5. If everyone in your family is generally healthy and only does routine checkups and the occasional sick visit, then this is the way to go. We have a large deductible ($2,000 individual or $5,000 family) and we pay out of pocket for each visit until we hit that deductible, then insurance pays 100%. But if you are talking about paying $1,600 per month, why not go with a plan like that instead? Unless someone in your family has a serious condition where their monthly treatment costs exceed your monthly premiums... Good luck in the job search! I also agree with the posters who recommended looking for short term contract work. Any income is better than no income!

 

[Pastamom]

Just another thing to think about...is there a reason you need the level of benefits that you currently have? My dh is self-employed also in the software development field, and we pay for our own health insurance policy. It runs about $400/month for basic coverage for our family of 5. If everyone in your family is generally healthy and only does routine checkups and the occasional sick visit, then this is the way to go. We have a large deductible ($2,000 individual or $5,000 family) and we pay out of pocket for each visit until we hit that deductible, then insurance pays 100%. But if you are talking about paying $1,600 per month, why not go with a plan like that instead? Unless someone in your family has a serious condition where their monthly treatment costs exceed your monthly premiums... Good luck in the job search! I also agree with the posters who recommended looking for short term contract work. Any income is better than no income!

DS8, D10 and DH all have ADD/ADHD so we have a high monthly prescription cost (even with insurance) which makes things more complicated

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My DH had to look immediately when he was laid off Nov 1.

Locally--at the time, we already knew things didn't look good and as much as I would have LOVED to protest it--reality is, any job (for him) would be much better than no job. Within the first week of layoff, he did get a job that led to his present position. He began that on Dec 1.

Contrast that with a co-worker who has REFUSED to do that. Well--he's living off of savings and has no leads....nothing...5 months later.

All the other employees (it was a work from home set up)--who were much less stubborn, ALL of them have jobs now...except for one that just restarted his own company that he had prior to that work arrangement.

Don't be stubborn. Certainly don't move for a Barnes and Noble Job--but have your husband search. I would say, don't even be that picky. See what comes up. Nothing says you have to submit for a position if it doesn't work out.

Part of our willingness to be able to do ANYTHING--we were ineligible for cobra b/c DH's company was too small and we were ineligible for a state back up program b/c his employer was in Maryland. Anyone not living in Maryland couldn't do that.


We were in survival mode and our family had to trump all else. IF there is nothing local-it doens't help any local family for you to remain jobless. Put your oxygen mask on first--as they remind you on the airplane in case of loss of cabin pressure.

ETA: I'm still in Florida while hubby is in Virginia--we didn't make plans to move the whole family until we knew that job was stable. Plus we won't be able to sell our house anyway and housing 1 person in the new location is much cheaper than housing the whole family. We will move up in August though.

 

[englishteacha]

My hubby is an IT consultant with his own small business. He has several clients with small needs, versus one client with lots of work for him. Could your husband get his name out to small businesses as a guy to call when they need computer help? In our case, my income is steady and my job provides our health benefits, and we know we could live on it if we had to (though DH would miss his DirecTV!).

As mentioned previously, I would expand the job search. You don't have to decide to move until there's an offer to consider. I would begin by expanding the search to perhaps an hour's commute at first. Then you don't have to move, though your DH may hate driving after a while! If there are no offers, expand a bit farther.

 

[kydisneyfans]

I was in the same situation-took a buyout in Nov 2003 and starting sending applications everywhere. After following up and finding that 300-600 people were applying for 1 job every time, I decided to look elsewhere for work. Within 2 weeks, I had landed a job in my field 300 miles from home. It was the best move my family ever made.

Options:
-stay close to where you are and change you employment field.
-look within a 1-2 hour driving radius to stay close to home.
-open a regionwide search of several hundred miles so weekend visits are possible with the families.

Do not move to another area without having a job first. Stay at an extended stay hotel location for a few weeks to make sure things are a good fit. Make this an entire family project.

Moving from family was the toughest decision I have ever made, but also has been the most rewarding.

 

[JB2K]

My question is: At what point do we start looking for jobs that would require us to move? DH is very reluctant to do so, because he has lived in the same are all his life and family is here.

I would say ASAP. As for your husband's reluctance, he needs to realize that while it's nice to be near the relatives/friends, he has a responsibility to take care of his own family, first, by whatever means are available to him.

 

[Pastamom]

Just found out that we may lose unemployment benefits because DH is going to school full time for the semester. The reasoning is that he wouldn't be able to find a "1st shift" full time position while in school.

We are also paying for his schooling because financial aid was based on 2009 and we had made too much money...If he had waited a year we could get FA

I am so frustrated with the system!! We are trying to do the right thing - looking for a job and improving his skills ASAP to get off unemployment and getting slammed

Thanks for letting me vent.