At What Point Do You Move?

[Pastamom]

Long story somewhat short -

In October, DH lost his job, I work half time (no benefits, ok, pay). There is a slim chance that I may go to full time in September, but not before than - although I would know earliier - hopefully by July. My full time pay is a great extra income, but would not be enough to live on.

We live in a Metropolitan area and DH has had barely a nibble. DH works in IT/computer programming and went back to school for a semester to update and learn some new languages/ skills.

My question is: At what point do we start looking for jobs that would require us to move? DH is very reluctant to do so, because he has lived in the same are all his life and family is here. I moved around a little due to my Dad's job so am more open to the idea. DS10 and DS8 don;'t want to leave there friends (not that they are deciding for us)

Financially, we're surviving, but I'm concerned about when our COBRA benefits run out. I also hate the uncertainty of our future.

Any ideas would be appreciated..Thanks

 

[wdwfan16]

Long story somewhat short -

In October, DH lost his job, I work half time (no benefits, ok, pay). There is a slim chance that I may go to full time in September, but not before than - although I would know earliier - hopefully by July. My full time pay is a great extra income, but would not be enough to live on.

We live in a Metropolitan area and DH has had barely a nibble. DH works in IT/computer programming and went back to school for a semester to update and learn some new languages/ skills.

My question is: At what point do we start looking for jobs that would require us to move? DH is very reluctant to do so, because he has lived in the same are all his life and family is here. I moved around a little due to my Dad's job so am more open to the idea. DS10 and DS8 don;'t want to leave there friends (not that they are deciding for us)

Financially, we're surviving, but I'm concerned about when our COBRA benefits run out. I also hate the uncertainty of our future.

Any ideas would be appreciated..Thanks

Now if the time to start looking other places. The big mistake any make who are unemployed is trying to not change anything but eventually that results in a hole that is hard to climb out of. At some point the mortgage will be too much or a home repair will needed without money to pay for it. Or one will drain their retirement accounts. It is almost impossible to recover after this.

Good luck.

 

[java]

Yes I say now too. Start looking to have plan b in place- you don't want to wait until you HAVE to move to move.

Good luck.

 

[eliza61]

I try to keep all options opened.

1st. Try and take a look at the entire picture. Jobs are hard to come by everywhere. So moving is not going to guarantee employment.
2nd. Quality of life issue are extremely important. You have kids and they definitely matter. What do you do if you move your kids and they don't adjust?
You live in a metropolitian area now, where are you thinking of moving?
I'm a city gal, born and bred in NYC. When I first married we moved out of the city due to housing cost and moved to rural NJ. I loathe, hated and despise it. I ended up in the doctors office dealing with depression, after 3 years we finally moved closer to a major city (philly)

I would begin considering the possibilities but make sure you're not looking at this through the "grass has to be greener" some where else mindset.

 

[perpetualplanner]

What type of IT/programming does your DH do? Mine works for a consulting company which requires travel but you can "live" anywhere - many guys "commute" from Arizona etc for work in Illinois. Consulting jobs are something to consider - but being be prepared for him to be away.

 

[Virgderon]

My DH is in IT, and we starting looking all over the country as soon as we found out that he would be laid off. He interviewed for jobs in Green Bay, Mobile and Tampa and got an offer in Tampa.

We never hesitated, because he has a very defined and nichey skill, and we did not want to go broke waiting for something to come up in Chicago.

We rented our house at a loss, practically gave away our furniture and 75% of our belongings, and moved.

It was a tough year, financially and emotionally, but we love the warm weather, and being so close to all the beaches and parks. I also love that we have less "stuff". Getting rid of all that clutter was very liberating.

I didn't want to burn through all of our savings. As it was, we took out about $17k from our 401k and are paying the tax man this year because of it. But it would have been much worse to stay where we were with the higher cost of living and no income. We would have nothing by now.

 

[mom of princessx2]

When my DH lost his job, back in 2003, we expanded our search monthly. We were used to moving anyhow as we had tranfered with his company 3 times in 8 years. Anyhow we started locally because we were in NC and wanted to stay but after the first month we went to the entire state of NC and kept expanding from there. After 3 1/2 months he was offered a job in IL which is where we were from. I think the longer you are out of work the harder it becomes. Start expanding now.

 

[Sadie22]

Long story somewhat short -

In October, DH lost his job, I work half time (no benefits, ok, pay). There is a slim chance that I may go to full time in September, but not before than - although I would know earliier - hopefully by July. My full time pay is a great extra income, but would not be enough to live on.

We live in a Metropolitan area and DH has had barely a nibble. DH works in IT/computer programming and went back to school for a semester to update and learn some new languages/ skills.

My question is: At what point do we start looking for jobs that would require us to move? DH is very reluctant to do so, because he has lived in the same are all his life and family is here. I moved around a little due to my Dad's job so am more open to the idea. DS10 and DS8 don;'t want to leave there friends (not that they are deciding for us)

Financially, we're surviving, but I'm concerned about when our COBRA benefits run out. I also hate the uncertainty of our future.

Any ideas would be appreciated..Thanks

Moving is a huge stress on everyone. I hope you do not have to deal with it.

Has your DH looked into jobs he could do remotely from home? You said he went back to school for a semester. Could part of the problem be that he does not have the skills he needs for the existing jobs in your area, or could he be limiting himself too much in his job search? What kinds of places is he applying to? Hospitals, law firms, etc. all may need his skills. Is he using networking contacts to the best advantage? The best jobs may never be advertised as when a need arises, the one who gets the job is recommended by a current employee. Has he looked into government jobs, including those that require a security clearance?

I know quite a few IT/programmer guys who took a job with Best Buy Geek Squad "just until a better opportunity comes up" and are still there years later. One said all the jobs he applied for wanted software engineering skills which his computer science degree did not include. Another said the pay and benefits were good.

Another young man is now a programmer even though his undergraduate degree is in another science. He took some programming classes at community college after he had his bachelor's. He started a paid internship program where they would have liked to have hired him fulltime but did not have the funds. A contact he made at the community college got him an interview for the fulltime programming job he has now, and the company is paying for his master's program.

 

[dd50]

The time is now. You certainly don't want to wait until your money is almost gone.

 

[dfchelbay]

Long story somewhat short -

In October, DH lost his job, I work half time (no benefits, ok, pay). There is a slim chance that I may go to full time in September, but not before than - although I would know earliier - hopefully by July. My full time pay is a great extra income, but would not be enough to live on.

We live in a Metropolitan area and DH has had barely a nibble. DH works in IT/computer programming and went back to school for a semester to update and learn some new languages/ skills.

My question is: At what point do we start looking for jobs that would require us to move? DH is very reluctant to do so, because he has lived in the same are all his life and family is here. I moved around a little due to my Dad's job so am more open to the idea. DS10 and DS8 don;'t want to leave there friends (not that they are deciding for us)

Financially, we're surviving, but I'm concerned about when our COBRA benefits run out. I also hate the uncertainty of our future.

Any ideas would be appreciated..Thanks

If it were me, I would take a job that is not in my chosen field of IT. Do that as long as you have to, while you continue to try to find an IT job where you live. Having employment income coming into the house will help financially and alleviate stress. You can also do a lot of consulting on the side too. There are a lot of people who need IT help, but cannot afford a couple hundred bucks for a pro to fix their computers. Your DH can move right in to this area and charge less than the big companies and still pick up some extra income. He can post on Careerbuilder, Monster, CL, etc. to try to round up some clients.

 

[branv]

First of all, my sympathies for the tough situation you're in. It's hard enough to think about moving for a job, but much harder when kids are involved. I know with DH (also computer field), we've had to move twice to two different cities after a layoff. We stayed in the same state, but since it's TX, that's practically like moving to another state I would say that your DH should at the very least have feelers out there for other areas. Worst case scenario he gets a job offer. Then you can decide if the pay/benefits/location is worth it or if you're not ready to take that leap to another area.

If your DH wants to stay in the same city, has he at least looked into contracting jobs? Even very short ones below his skill level can give him at least an "in" with the agency. I was once a recruiter for a tech staffing firm, and let me tell you...once we knew someone's name and that they were reliable and consistently available, they went to the top of our list to call out of thousands in a database. And as soon as a long term, temp to hire position came in, they got first shot at it. (And a way to get them to remember you is to call in each week to "check in"...keeps you in mind). It's just extremely common that in large tech firms, positions below a degreed Engineer are consistently brought in as contract first.

I do know that there are jobs here in the Austin/Central TX area. Not nearly as many as there used to be, but more than there were a year ago. DH's group just hired a few people, and his friend at another major computer company just finished hiring 6 new people. Now the sad thing about that was that he was told he could only hire half his group here, the rest had to be located in China. Apparently the company is "unofficially" starting to require a certain percentage of its new workers be in Asia. Just something for your DH to think about, as depressing as it is.

 

[Planogirl]

We ended up in the Dallas area because of our job situation. I wasn't enthused about it but it was necessary. We're OK here but I admit that I do keep looking longingly toward the south.

I agree that it might be a good idea to at least send out feelers to different areas. Some companies prefer to hire a local person and that's something to keep in mind too. Make sure that he goes to every recruiter he can find and checks out government jobs too.

 

[Local_Girl]

My DH was working in IT for a manufacturing company for 9 years up until about 4 months ago. The company began a downward slide about 8 years ago and never recovered. Although he was never laid off, many at the company were over the course of several years. We finally decided that he was going nowhere there, and in spite of a tough economy, began looking for another job. First in the local area, then in the same state, then all over the country. DH finally found a job (after about 8 months of looking), still in IT, with the fed gov't here in Michigan. Our initial thought was that the private sector would offer better pay (we thought that for years), but the truth is he got a 25% pay increase to start with the gov't, doing a job that actually requires less skill/education than his previous job (was doing networking, now doing tech/help desk stuff). He's busier than ever, but he loves that. He's also trying to finish up his degree and hopes to move into a networking job that will also mean an increase in salary.

So my thought is, I agree with the previous posters who say to start looking now. Moving isn't fun, but sometimes you just have to do it. We moved due to a layoff when our kids were 6 and 4 years old, and that wasn't too bad. Now our kids are 16 and 14 and this recent move has been really, really tough. Financially we are much better off and they understand that, but it has still been a very difficult transition for them (and me ). Good luck OP, with whatever you decide to do.

 

[bumbershoot]

DH was still in a job (dept closing) and we were looking at any job anywhere. Thought seriously about North Dakota b/c that's where his job was moving to (always expected, but about a year before we thought it would happen). He got a different job locally so that was good, but we were definitely already mentally gearing up to move!


It's very different from TX, but with that background have you considered the Seattle area? While DH knows some guys from the department closure that haven't gotten jobs yet, he also knows their diligence (or lack of it)...he has seen that those of his colleagues who are really really serious about it are not having too many problems finding jobs in that field up here. (and I totally just knocked on wood there, LOL)

 

[d1gitman]

the rule i follow is this

there is no decision to make unless ther is an offer to take. point being, expand the job search. if your hubby gets an offer, then there is a decision to make, until then it is all hypothetical. i expanded my search last year and wound up in SoCal. moved the whole family out there and 9mo later the job dissapeared. we still kept our house in MA and just returned on April 1. it was a good experience, but importantly, it kept the unemployment and cobra going for longer since i worked for a while.

also, our house in MA is the house my wife was born and raised in, she had never moved in her life. let's just say she was the most upset to have to leave CA and return to our home in MA.

So you never know how it will work out but in the end, i believe everything happens for a reason and is part of a plan.

 

[StephMK]

the rule i follow is this

there is no decision to make unless ther is an offer to take. point being, expand the job search. if your hubby gets an offer, then there is a decision to make, until then it is all hypothetical. i expanded my search last year and wound up in SoCal. moved the whole family out there and 9mo later the job dissapeared. we still kept our house in MA and just returned on April 1. it was a good experience, but importantly, it kept the unemployment and cobra going for longer since i worked for a while.

also, our house in MA is the house my wife was born and raised in, she had never moved in her life. let's just say she was the most upset to have to leave CA and return to our home in MA.

So you never know how it will work out but in the end, i believe everything happens for a reason and is part of a plan.

I think this is great advice and the way we handled it too. DH was working for a slowly sinking co for a number of years & finally agreed it was time to search. He was not able to find any matches locally & we spread out the search. In the meantime, he did get a job w/a local start up but it was not a great fit.
He was asked to interview for an out of state job for a resume he'd sent months before, we made the decision to see what happened & then ended up taking the job. It's really hard being so far from family on the east coast but the stable job has a been a big bonus so far. The start up he left went under 6 mo later so we would have been completely w/o his job & no good local prospects in sight.

Test things out elsewhere, keep applying locally & just see what comes up & then make the decision. It never hurts to look.

 

[poohfriend]

express your willingness now. but since you can't make him apply for jobs...it really becomes up to him. It seems like in a good marriage, the husband is always thinking of everyone else...so it makes since that he'd try very hard to find a job in your current area.

anyone out of work should consider relocation -- the adventure may bring many blessings to your family. And as a pp listed, you don't have any decision to make until an offer is on the table.

good luck no part of this is easy. hang in there.

 

[EKW]

Last time I looked at the Disney job listings they had a boatload of IT positions. Just saying....

Maybe you can make lemonaide from the lemons life's been handing you.

It wouldn't have to be forever...and it might turn out to be a wonderful adventure.

 

[Disney845]

What kinds of places is he applying to? Hospitals, law firms, etc. all may need his skills.

I love this point about looking towards directions perhaps not first thought of.

I will throw another one out there.

A good place to check with would be A/V/Surveillance installation companies. With the increase in web access integration with home theater, home automation, and surveillance camera/DVR product lines, IT savvy individuals may find a place, even if it is on a job by job consulting basis. Low voltage installers for both residential and commercial applications are not always (some are) versed in the technology necessary to integrate web access/port forwarding/etc. and as this technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the industry they may want to broaden their offerings by having on staff or a sub-contractor who is able to assist them with this.

 

[yoopermom]

As someone who values immediate and extended family highly, I can only imagine the stress your DH feels, wanting to support the family/continue his career and yet still stay close to loved ones. Have you run the numbers to see what the absolute lowest amount of income is that you could live off of? (And I mean LOW!) Moving can be quite expensive, and will there be a guarantee that the new job will be long term? Are you working in a field that you can get a job wherever you end up, or will you end up living off one income only? Could he get a job within driving distance and commute home on the weekends, enabling you and the kids to stay there? Has he thought outside the box aka job with good benefits/security maybe not as high of income? (I know our school's computer tech doesn't make huge $$, but it's excellent benefits, retirement, etc.)

We are facing a similar situation, but I'm the one who will have to move for a job, and I'm not looking forward to it, so to all of you.

Terri