At what age

[mickeyboat]

I am not convinced that Depro-Provera or the Ring is the way to go. I have talked to many people who have had a lot of trouble with both of those choices. But I would definitely be willing to discuss lots of options with my daughters.

I would also be more than willing to offer condoms and the pill if I thought there was a chance my daughters were having sex. Whatever moral issues I might have with them having sex earlier than I think is wise, are trumped by wanting to protect my children from the result of making a bad decision. I also hope to keep the lines of communication open so that if they feel they need birth control of some sort, they will come to me.

 

[LadyShiva]

Didn't offend me at all. I think most people talk about the pill by default. Also, the pill is something that can be stopped immediately if there is an adverse reaction whereas the Depo shot is not good for people with clotting issues, the IUD is, as you say, meant for someone after pregnancy, and the ring, well, I would venture a guess that most young women are not yet comfortable enough with themselves to insert it properly. But, yes, there is a lot on the market these days!

Oh, good! I'm relieved I didn't offend!

What worries me with the pill (and therefore the Ring and the Patch) is the fact that it is so easy to interfere with, and it has some significant health issues, too. My mother had severe problems with the pill, so I inherited a bias against the pill. I also can't remember to take my daily multi-vitamin, so I am -not- a good candidate for a daily medicine.

I took Depo for over 5 years as a treatment for suspected endometriosis, and I seem to be one of the few that recommend it. I didn't gain 10-15 lbs per shot, I wasn't depressed, and I didn't get pregnant! I also didn't have a problem getting pregnant when it was time to get pregnant; i.e., it didn't interfere with my fertility. I have ~severe~ cramps and heavy bleeding when I have periods, so I -loved- not having periods for years.

I now have the copper IUD and have no complaints. Well, except for that whole thing about getting periods again. *sigh*

I hope that helps.
Brandie

 

[lillygator]

oh my - the scary things I have to look forward to!

I can't remember when I went on the pill (still am) but I know it was in college and my mom had no clue. Along comes my sister and - amazingly - they are at the gyn when she was 15 for the pill. My mom and I never discussed things like that , so I think an open line of communication as well as an early start to the gyn is a great idea!

 

[Kath2003]

I took Depo for over 5 years as a treatment for suspected endometriosis, and I seem to be one of the few that recommend it. I didn't gain 10-15 lbs per shot, I wasn't depressed, and I didn't get pregnant! I also didn't have a problem getting pregnant when it was time to get pregnant; i.e., it didn't interfere with my fertility. I have ~severe~ cramps and heavy bleeding when I have periods, so I -loved- not having periods for years.

Doesn't work period-free for everyone, though. Apparently my periods are so painful and heavy that they can blast through any form of hormone contraception At least I now only spend one day in bed, instead of 5...

 

[LadyShiva]

Doesn't work period-free for everyone, though. Apparently my periods are so painful and heavy that they can blast through any form of hormone contraception At least I now only spend one day in bed, instead of 5...

Agreed. I have a 7 day period... Again. It was so nice to not have it for so long, and only have to contend with break-through bleeding!

The pain drug I have for my period make me dizzy, too. Naproxen sodium, prescription-strength. Completely turns off the period with one pill, then I have breakthrough bleeding for a few more days. Might want to check into that for you. If I can suggest anything, get a pill-cutter! Don't go full-dose (1-2 pills) unless you absolutely have to.

Hope that helps!
Brandie

 

[poohandwendy]

*scratching my head* I'm not trying to be rude here, but is there a reason you are all mentioning the pill?

Actually, most of us mentioned birth control but did not specify any particular type, I only think one or two mentioned their own use of the pill but weren't making any recommendations only telling their personal experience.

I would recommend ANY woman (young or otherwise) to discuss all of the options and their personal circumstances before deciding on one. The pill works really well for some, not for others. Just like the other methods, as you mentioned. Above all else, I think young people who are sexually active should be using dual protection (condoms and another form of BC). Too many dangerous and life-altering STDs to worry about in addition to pregnancy.

 

[poohandwendy]

I also don't think I'll be bringing them to the gyno beginning at puberty. I would have been mortified to have a pelvic exam at 13years old and incredibly uncomfortable with the thought of being examined in that way.

Actually, they do not have to have a pelvic exam if they are uncomfortable with that idea or if they are having no health issues that would require it. My youngest DD went this year (she just turned 13) and they just did a basic health and family history and then the doctor discussed what is normal (regarding periods), puberty/hormones. Just a basic reproductive health Q and A.

I really think it would be less intimidating and 'mortifying' if it was treated just like any other type of health issue from the beginning, instead of as something to dread.

 

[LadyShiva]

I really think it would be less intimidating and 'mortifying' if it was treated just like any other type of health issue from the beginning, instead of as something to dread.

*chuckle* I just had to relate a story from my pregnancy... My hubby went with me to a prenatal exam, and actually saw a speculum in use (and the Strep B test procedure! ). He was rock-steady throughout everything, but he left with a deeper appreciation of what a woman goes through!

In other words, I agree. I had wondered how he would react, but in reality, he was fine, and he was wonderful taking care of me before and after my c-section. I was mortified at everything, he wasn't phased at all. Pretty cool. Nice to have the back-up!

Now, we'll see how well he handles our daughter's teenage years!!! He's handled the diapers just fine, so that gives me hope!

Brandie

 

[cccm]

Sorry to hijack the thread.....

At what age did you start talking to you children about sex, etc?

Thanks from a Mom who knows she has to do, but is scared to death to do it.

 

[NMAmy]

Sorry to hijack the thread.....

At what age did you start talking to you children about sex, etc?

Thanks from a Mom who knows she has to do, but is scared to death to do it.

I started by explaining about periods, etc, when she was old enough to ask--which started around the age of 2. Always age appropriate.

She's always known she could ask me anything. She wanted me to explain about sex when she was 8. I bought a book and told her everything--she'd known the anatomy before just not how it all worked. And also told her that this was private--if she had friends with questions, she should tell them to ask their moms. I did end up explaining periods and sex to one of her friends at her mother's request. I thought it was weird but thought SOMEONE needed to do it.

It's hard, it can be embarassing, but it's really much easier on your child if you can try to ignore all that and just be matter of fact. My dd is 16 and still talks to me about any questions she has. Because she knows whatever she asks me, I'll answer her honestly and not freak out.

Good luck!

 

[disneygirl725]

I'm not a mom. I am a straight arrow kind of girl. Never did I hang with the cool crowd in high school. But stupid me had sex at an early age (15). Stupid stupid stupid. My mother had no clue. Thankfully, nothing "bad" happened.

I then had a psycho ex in college who made me tell her what I did. She's like I can't believe it. She was shocked, stunned and all sorts of things.

Even now, me being on the pill, living with my DF, she still probably doesn't know if I have sex or not. I originally got on the pill several years ago for medicinal purposes. She still calls me the straight arrow, or conservative me, or whatever name she feels like calling me.

So I think you should, because you never know. But I would try to really educate her on a lot of different items as well.

 

[rie'smom]

Well DD and I had another talk. She thinks sex is yucky-phew for the moment. She says that she will definitely tell me when she's ready for BC. I promised that I won't sit in judgment and that I want her to know she can talk to me. Thanks everyone and

plus

and

will get us through.