At what age should a kid have a TV in her room, if ever?

[shortbun]

Dd13 has one, because she's on the 3rd floor, with a "suite." Worst mistake ever. It wasn't a problem when she got it (age 7), but now that she's 13, we don't see her anymore, and I think she'd be downstairs more often if she didn't have her own TV.

Request her presence, engage her in family activity and make sure she knows you love spending time with her. Have her pick out the rental for family movie night. Make her favorite meal and watch old movies of her after dinner for 10minutes-this causes loving conversation. You can get her back, I promise.

 

[bas71873]

Thanks for all the advice so far. Lots to think about. Oh, and I don't want nor did I intend for this to be a good parenting vs. bad parenting thing at all. I just wonder what others do and how it's handled.

I like the idea of having a TV but not cable. So really for movies only, which is what it is mostly now. And once school starts, the TV is a moot point because between homework, girl scouts and dance 2 nights a week, there is little time for anything else. We don't do TV before bed. We read and she falls asleep on her own.

My whole reason for this post was what is going on in MY bedroom right now. It's a rainy day here, we had no plans for the day and I have some work to do (I do contract work from home from time to time). She wanted to watch 101 Dalmations, so she is in MY room watching her DVD, but, on top of that, she had drug all of her canine stuffed animals, some tupperware for food bowls, some pretend food and our poor dog's leash so she can "care" for all of her dogs (she tried to get our real dog to play along, but Scarlett was having none of that so she came back downstairs with me). So I'm thinking a TV to watch DVDs on in her room would save her from dragging all of toys down the hall to play with while she watches and me from having to insist on a major clean up later in the day .

Tough call this decision is.

 

[Christine]

My DD got one in her room halfway through her senior year. We only have one other TV in the house and, well, it was getting tough having 4 people fighting over it.

I can't say I was thrilled with doing it--I've always been against it.

My son, who is 14, does not have one in his room and won't be getting one.

It's interesting because every year at my kids' "well child" checkups, the pediatrian ALWAYS asks them "Do you have a TV in your room?" He seems thrilled when they say "No."

 

[edandcolleen1995]

Well I think it all depends.

My wife, son (11) and I are huge sports fan. I mean, if there is a score involved, we are watching it. So hockey, baseball, football etc there is always a game on.

We got our daughter (9)a tv because honestly she hates sports. Basically on Sundays during nfl season she can watch the tv in her room. She maybe spends a total of 3 hours in there. We control it. Now we have a ranch style house so knowing what she is watching, how much etc is easy to keep track of. Also we have the parental controls on the cable box so she can't see anything more then PG also.

We toyed with the idea for awhile. It just felt unfair to everyone. She is not huge into tv, but does like her handful of Disney shows (and now HGTV?!!). So she gets a little tv time in her room, does not have to sit through sports and all that.

But I honestly think there is no set age for when you allow it. Heck no rules says you should either. I won't judge another parent over things like this. Letting your kid run with scissors, yeah I judge. How much TV you allow, I butt out and mind my own business.

 

[sbell111]

I guess that we're going against the grain on this one.

My wife and I are setting up the room for our baby who is due in November. It already has a TV and DVD/DVR.

The Wii will stay in the living room and we'll deal with the computer issue down the road.

 

[clutter]

My dd12 has had tv on and off over the years.

When she was younger, I found that setting the tv (to PBS, no cable) to turn on in the morning worked better than setting a clock radio. She knew when the second story of Dragon Tales came on she had to be up. Saved a lot of yelling.

Within the last couple of years, I did add cable. This past May, we changed to FIOS with a ton of new channels and on demand. Well, the early part of the summer was tv overload. A couple of weeks ago, she decided to move into the smaller bedroom (no cable or FIOS hookup). She'd had her fill of tv (which I knew she would), and is happy not having access to it.

Every kid is different. I know kids (adults, too!) that cannot handle having access to the tv constantly. But I know my kid. She does get tired of it, and when she does, she doesn't search for other shows/channels, she simply turns it off and becomes overloaded on the next thing. With school and sports starting after Labor Day, she won't have time to go crazy with tv.

 

[ckay87]

Dd13 has one, because she's on the 3rd floor, with a "suite." Worst mistake ever. It wasn't a problem when she got it (age 7), but now that she's 13, we don't see her anymore, and I think she'd be downstairs more often if she didn't have her own TV.

OT, but TV in the room or not, I think a lot of kids (like mine) tend to "go missing" around that age. What I do is throw them in the car and take them someplace - daytrips, shopping, etc. That's the only way I get any of my childrens' undivided time lately.

 

[AristocatFan]

No TV's, computers, or video game systems in their rooms. That's the rule and always will be. They have their handheld games(PSP's, Gameboys, etc) and portable DVD's they can use in their rooms.

 

[clutter]

My whole reason for this post was what is going on in MY bedroom right now. It's a rainy day here, we had no plans for the day and I have some work to do (I do contract work from home from time to time). She wanted to watch 101 Dalmations, so she is in MY room watching her DVD, but, on top of that, she had drug all of her canine stuffed animals, some tupperware for food bowls, some pretend food and our poor dog's leash so she can "care" for all of her dogs (she tried to get our real dog to play along, but Scarlett was having none of that so she came back downstairs with me). So I'm thinking a TV to watch DVDs on in her room would save her from dragging all of toys down the hall to play with while she watches and me from having to insist on a major clean up later in the day .

Oh boy, your dd sounds like mine, and it sounds like she's an only, too. If your dd is a good rule follower and since her room is also the playroom, I totally get what you're saying. It seems that you really want one for the playroom, but the playroom happens to also be her bedroom. I think the over-riding question is whether she would have trouble turning it off when you say it needs to be off.

 

[kinntj]

Our kids can get a tv in their room when they move out. They keep asking for one because their friends have one, but we won't budge. We're not the type to say tv is evil, but I don't like having it on during the day unless you're ill and can't do anything else.

I've read that a high percentage of kids have tv's in their rooms. I didn't catch age, but it was over 50 or 60%. They had it divided up for Ipods, tv's, game systems, cell phone, etc. I was shocked with poverty and stuff that the amount would be so high. Now I have to go look where I've read that. Maybe the new Family Simple Living mag I got or Good Housekeeping?

Anyway, I wouldn't judge anyone who's views were different than mine when it comes to tv watching. This is just how DH and I are with our kids.

 

[jen0610]

DS14 has had a TV in his room for years and DD12 has had one for the last year.

DH works nights, with his work week starting on Sunday. There are shows that I like to watch in the evening that neither of the kids want or need to watch. DS has always had a TV in his room at this house, 11 years. For years, he had only a VCR and a playstation hooked up to it. About 3 years ago, we had DirectTV put in there, so that in the evenings and Sundays, both of the kids could watch what they wanted on TV, while I could watch what I wanted and no one would interfer with DH sleeping by having to watch TV in our room.

This worked great for the 1st year and a half. Now the 14 and 12 year old can't agree on what they want to watch, so they end up having to take turns. Basicly there are times when DS stays out of his room, so his sister can watch a show she likes. I will even give up the family room tv, just so there is harmony between the crazy purberty diven children. We will be switching to Verizon Fios here real soon and DD is finally getting it installed in her room.

Both the kids know the rules for the TV's. They know what they can and can't watch. They know when they can and can't watch. They know what will happen if they break the rules. One of the rules is - the same show can not be on two TV's. That is why for an hour last night, I ended up with both kids sprawled across my bed with me watching Empire Strikes Back. Nothing like a bit of Star Wars bonding before bed.

There is no right or wrong...it's what best suits you and your families wants and needs.

 

[scrapquilter]

My kids are 10 and 8 and have each had a small TV in their room for as long as I can remember. They don't watch TV all the time (nor do I let them). If I feel they have been watching too much, I just go turn it off and tell them to find something else to do, and they do. They mostly watch them at night when they get into bed. Then I set the TV Timer for about 30 minutes and when it shuts off they go to sleep (of course, many times they are asleep before it even shuts off).

Well just put me on the bad Mommy list. My kids have had a TV and a DVD player in their rooms since they were about 3.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Well just put me on the bad Mommy list. My kids have had a TV and a DVD player in their rooms since they were about 3.

Someone is updating their spreadsheet right now...

 

[HardShell]

Thanks for all the advice so far. Lots to think about. Oh, and I don't want nor did I intend for this to be a good parenting vs. bad parenting thing at all. I just wonder what others do and how it's handled.

I like the idea of having a TV but not cable. So really for movies only, which is what it is mostly now. And once school starts, the TV is a moot point because between homework, girl scouts and dance 2 nights a week, there is little time for anything else. We don't do TV before bed. We read and she falls asleep on her own.

My whole reason for this post was what is going on in MY bedroom right now. It's a rainy day here, we had no plans for the day and I have some work to do (I do contract work from home from time to time). She wanted to watch 101 Dalmations, so she is in MY room watching her DVD, but, on top of that, she had drug all of her canine stuffed animals, some tupperware for food bowls, some pretend food and our poor dog's leash so she can "care" for all of her dogs (she tried to get our real dog to play along, but Scarlett was having none of that so she came back downstairs with me). So I'm thinking a TV to watch DVDs on in her room would save her from dragging all of toys down the hall to play with while she watches and me from having to insist on a major clean up later in the day .
Tough call this decision is.

To me it sounds like, for your purposes, you might be better served with a portable DVD player than a permanent TV-in-the-room -- she could use it in her room (or wherever) to watch a movie on those occasions like you describe today but it isn't there as a constant distraction/temptation. They make very nice/inexpensive ones these days.

They can also be handy on trips and other situations, and she'll have the option of using it with headphones if she (and/or you) prefer.

Just a thought...

 

[kinntj]

Well just put me on the bad Mommy list. My kids have had a TV and a DVD player in their rooms since they were about 3.

Nope, that doesn't make you a bad mommy. If you let them watch inappropriate things and let them watch all day would IMO.

 

[maelstrom]

I've had a TV in my room since I was around 12. Everybody in my house has their own TV.

 

[FireDancer]

I have read many studies that have determined that having a television in the bedroom is not good for getting a good night sleep and I agree. There are only two things I do in a bedroom (one of them kids probably shouldn't be doing anyway) and neither involves a television.

 

[Piecey]

Lucas will have a TV in his room... but it won't have cable hooked up to it.

Just a DVD player and a stack of DVDs (mostly Disney, of course)...


DH is addicted to his XBox (hooked up to the TV downstairs) and the only other TV in the house is in the bedroom. While I'm sure I won't mind cuddling in my bed with him, we would prefer it not become expected for him to watch TV in our room.

I have a 19" Mickey TV (Budget Board buy ) that we'll eventually be putting in Lucas' room and hooking up with the Baby Einstein DVDs.

 

[Took]

DD, age 13, has no t.v. in her room. Fortunately, she really likes books on tape.

 

[welovedisneyx4]

That is what I was going to say to that report!

DD and DS don't have tv's in their rooms now, but we are getting a new 26 or 32 inch for our bedroom soon and we will give DD the old one from our bedroom. (DD gets it b/c she is older)

We are a big tv family, but we are not lazy, dumb nor do any of us-especially the kids- have behavior issues due to watching too much television. If that report from the physicians associations were true, my whole family would have major issues.