At what age is it no longer appropriate for kids to be pantless when company is over?

[kimmar067]

....there are no words.....none.

 

[NYCgrrl]

And yes I think she needs a Snickers.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Out of town guest was there!!!

Right. Another family member.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Then the dad would have said, "go put on your dress/skirt."

Why as a society do we always have to throw shade when none is needed?

Exactly. I mean why does the OP throw shade at a child and his mother? No need. Live and let live.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Personally if it were my kid and I didn't notice he wasn't wearing pants and my husbands sister said something to my kid - I would be irritated but that is only because I can't stand her and she doesn't have kids and it makes a difference to me lol. If one of my sisters told my kid to go put some pants on - well then kid - go put some pants on! At 5 though the kid should have been wearing pants when company was over or he was at someone else's house (even if they are connect houses).

 

[BLAZEY]

Personally if it were my kid and I didn't notice he wasn't wearing pants and my husbands sister said something to my kid - I would be irritated but that is only because I can't stand her and she doesn't have kids and it makes a difference to me lol. If one of my sisters told my kid to go put some pants on - well then kid - go put some pants on! At 5 though the kid should have been wearing pants when company was over or he was at someone else's house (even if they are connect houses).

I wouldn't say anything to my SIL's kids either, but then again she's even more strict about it and wouldn't allow her children to be without bottoms when people outside the immediate family were over, and never at the dinner table. My sister and I are fine, (as are her and DBIL) she was just tired of dealing with nephew that day. She agrees that he should have been wearing pants, he's growing up. That it was no different than her telling my daughter to put her dress down or go wash up for dinner at the same age. We've talked as we are planning to hold some more birthday dinners in the next few weeks, these events are to be held in the joint yard and some more extended family is coming. Fortunately we have the kind of relationship where we can talk about it and not have hard feelings. If she had been really upset about it she would have had NO problem letting me know her thoughts on the issue. Some family dynamics are different and maybe that wouldn't fly. We are fortunate to be close and trust each other with our kids.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

Exactly. I mean why does the OP throw shade at a child and his mother? No need. Live and let live.

You threw the shade on the conversation! Why bring up dress/skirt vs pants? The conversation did not call for that in anyway.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

OP, family dynamics can be challenging at times. To be honest it sounds like your sister is a person that picks her battles with her child. Maybe your sister had a challenging day with your nephew; and she just didn't want to deal with the chaos that might have happen with pant gate.

 

[mom2rtk]

OP, family dynamics can be challenging at times. To be honest it sounds like your sister is a person that picks her battles with her child. Maybe your sister had a challenging day with your nephew; and she just didn't want to deal with the chaos that might have happen with pant gate.

And that should be her call.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

And that should be her call.

Yes, it would be. How about the dad? The dad told him to get his pants/shorts on before mom said he doesn't have to, does he have a say?

 

[BLAZEY]

OP, family dynamics can be challenging at times. To be honest it sounds like your sister is a person that picks her battles with her child. Maybe your sister had a challenging day with your nephew; and she just didn't want to deal with the chaos that might have happen with pant gate.

That is what happened except she didn't understand that it him having no pants at the table was an issue for the rest of the adults. I think asking him to put pants on wes much better than telling him he wasn't welcome at the table.

And that should be her call.

And the rest of us at the dinner table had a right to eat our dinner without a child in his underpants. She was the ONLY adult there that though it wasn't an issue, and how would she know our collective opinion that it wasn't if nobody said anything?

 

[gottaluvPluto]

That is what happened except she didn't understand that it him having no pants at the table was an issue for the rest of the adults. I think asking him to put pants on wes much better than telling him he wasn't welcome at the table.

And the rest of us at the dinner table had a right to eat our dinner without a child in his underpants. She was the ONLY adult there that though it wasn't an issue, and how would she know our collective opinion that it wasn't if nobody said anything?

Your sister actually made a bad mistake by not following through with the dad's decision. She just taught their child that he doesn't have to listen to the father.

 

[mom2rtk]

Yes, it would be. How about the dad? The dad told him to get his pants/shorts on before mom said he doesn't have to, does he have a say?

Fair point. Mom or Dad's decision. Sister should have stayed out of it though. Absolutely wrong to feed into a power struggle between sister and her husband.

 

[mom2rtk]

And the rest of us at the dinner table had a right to eat our dinner without a child in his underpants. She was the ONLY adult there that though it wasn't an issue, and how would she know our collective opinion that it wasn't if nobody said anything?

A right? Probably not. Unless it was your home.

 

[BLAZEY]

Your sister actually made a bad mistake by not following through with the dad's decision. She just taught her child that he doesn't have to listen to the father.

Yep. Hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes you do things you wouldn't when your tired. She did make him put cut off jeans on while not as dressed up as the rest of us it got the job done.

 

[jrmasm]

14 pages and I still can’t believe that pants might optional at dinner.

 

[ShayBells]

Skimmed the thread. My two cents. I think there’s a big difference between demanding something of someone else’s kid and making a suggestion. “Go put pants on now.” Or “Hey, buddy, want to go put pants on for dinner? No? Well you better go talk to mommy about that.” The first would make me mad the second would be totally fine with me. As to the OP title question I think five is fine to walk around in shirt and underwear at a family gathering. I think once they start getting 8 or older probably a time to make pants a regular thing but this is coming from a mom of an almost 10 year old DS that just got caught in his underwear ( in the afternoon) by the neighbor kid coming over asking to play. Since then he’s been getting dressed earlier

And for the record he does wear clothes if “company” is coming over. Or family whatever. Life is too short to be arguing over a kid wearing pants. This is the definition of pick your battles.

 

[BLAZEY]

Fair point. Mom or Dad's decision. Sister should have stayed out of it though. Absolutely wrong to feed into a power struggle between sister and her husband.

You are implying something that isn't there as repeatedly stated in posts that there is nothing wrong between them. Parents can have a difference of opinion about raising their kids. DBIL is an only child, no siblings of his own, makes a quick comment to me, someone who has know her her whole life, and there is a huge rift in the marriage? NO. Just because he got overruled sometimes doesn't mean it's a huge power struggle and impending divorce.

 

[BLAZEY]

14 pages and I still can’t believe that pants might option at dinner.

Right! If the girls had to have bottoms on why is it different for him?

 

[Hrhpd]

That is what happened except she didn't understand that it him having no pants at the table was an issue for the rest of the adults. I think asking him to put pants on wes much better than telling him he wasn't welcome at the table.

And the rest of us at the dinner table had a right to eat our dinner without a child in his underpants. She was the ONLY adult there that though it wasn't an issue, and how would she know our collective opinion that it wasn't if nobody said anything?

What the heck???

You were a guest in your sister's house. (According to several old posts, one listed below, your sister bought the whole house not 1/2)

As a guest, you have no rights except that you are welcome to leave if the dining arrangements are not to your liking. But you have no right to dictate how your sister runs her household or her dinners no matter how distasteful or wrong you may think they are.

The matter of the child wearing pants was between the mother and the father, not you and especially not your husband. If you had a good relationship with your sister and she welcomed your input, that would be different. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

Reading old posts of yours, you have a lot of animosity towards your sister. Perhaps this is why you feel you can discipline her child?

This will be the first year ever that we haven't spent Christmas morning at my mum's house and I'm married with an 8 year old daughter. Our house is like 2 minutes away. My younger sister and her family have bought mum's house, and are building a single level Grannie suite in the backyard. They are in the middle of construction, so the living room is full of my Sister's furniture, and boxes. It's our turn to have Xmas dinner, so have the morning won't make much difference. My sister is going to her in-laws as he FIL is in his 80's, and he doesn't like leaving the house. They will come to dinner as will her MIL. Next year it will be back to normal, with Xmas morning at my sister's house (formerly my mum's house). I wouldn't change anything about your morning, especially with one still at home. Just invite your sons and their girlfriends for Xmas morning as usual. Then it's up to them to accept.