At what age did you/would you let DD "date"

[BrerLizzie]

i dunno.. the earlier you start, the more time you have for stuff to happen..
they hold hands.. that gets old so they hug.. that gets old so they kiss.. then thats boring so they make-out.. then it all goes down hill..

 

[Disney Doll]

I was 15, went out with a boy who was 17 and could drive!!!!! He was a nice kid who always had me home at least 15 minutes before my curfew, which was either 10 or 11PM...I can't remember. It was a cute summer romance which ended when we both went back to high school, because we went to different HS's. We did stay friends, and I went to his wedding when he got married at age 22.

 

[totalia]

I have to say after reading this thread, it's no wonder so many girls are pregnant by the age of 16. They are dating when they are way too young to understand what it really means and their parents are allowing it.

Just because you met someone at age 14 that wanted to date you (and lucky you, your still together), doesn't mean that it was right to allow the dating.

I met someone at 14 too. My mother wouldn't allow me to go out with him. I'm glad she did it but at the time I was furious.

I didn't have my first date though till I was 19. I have to say, I was alot more responsible at that age than I would have been at 14.

Now I know that not every kid is alike but the truth is that MOST kids at 14 are NOT old enough mentally to be dating even when their parents think they are.

 

[northern michigan]

We've always told our girls for years they can marry at age 35. They even told their friends that. Well now they're 12 and 8. My youngest asked last year when she could date. I told her 34 would be sufficient. She told me she'd need to start at 16.

My 12 year old just started 6th grade. Some of her classmates were meeting at the mall (both boys and girls) last year without adult supervision. A couple weeks ago I let her and a girlfriend attend Princess Diary without my supervision. Turns out it was opening day and there were a half dozen moms that knew them sitting all around them. Baby steps...I need baby steps!

 

[poohandwendy]

16 for one-on-one dating, 14 for group ''dating''. Agreed, there is no magic formula to prevent teen pregnancy, etc. But, as parents, we feel setting age appropriate boundaries is important. It works for us. Our kids haven't had any problem with these rules.

I wouldn't encourage early one-on-one dating, to be honest. Not even just for sexual experimentation reasons, alone. But because girls and boys are emotionally/maturity on such different pages (for the most part) from around 11-14 years old.

The most important things in raising 'teens', IMHO, is open communication, parental involvement and mutual respect.

 

[Purrrrfecta]

when they finish college! They don't need the psychological drama

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

I let my daughter date when she was 16. She had to be with others. At 17 she went on her own. Any younger than 16,to me, is to young. Kids today are alot more informed on what dating is about,just put on the tv. I want my kids to enjoy their youth,and have fun. There will always be a time for dating,breakups,and all the other pressures that come with it. Some people want their kids to be popular and grow up quickly. Let them be kids! I always told my daughters I want you to have a reputation as classy,not trashy. Kids do get labled. My advice ,be careful !!!

 

[MELSMICE]

Originally posted by totalia
I have to say after reading this thread, it's no wonder so many girls are pregnant by the age of 16. They are dating when they are way too young to understand what it really means and their parents are allowing it.

There are many girls that are not allowed to date that also get pregnant.

There are many girls that have no rules or boundaries & get pregnant.

There are girls that have very strict rules & get pregnant.

There are also girls that have been allowed to date & get pregnant.

There are also girls that fall into all of the above categories that DO NOT get pregnant.

Every parent sets their own guidelines & should be comfortable with those rules. I talk to each of my daughters every night about different subjects. One thing we always talk about is respect for themselves & their bodies & how many boys will try to take advantage of them. The conversation is very open and very frank. I tell them that they are the only ones that can make the right decision in different situations.

I still don't believe that there is a magic age for every child to start dating. I believe that you should talk & teach your kids what is involved in adolescence & dating. I remember what being a teen was like - if mom or dad said don't do it, most kids did it!!!

I am a realist & know that my kids will try to break the rules - it is my job to stay one step ahead of them.

 

[chrissie123]

I am truly dreading this day to come....My DDs are11 & 12 & i had`nt even thought about it til now omg they are still babies (are`nt they???)

 

[CarolynFH]

I'm 15 years old right now (16 in less than 2 weeks!!) and my parents told me that I can't go out on a 'date' until I'm 16.

My parents and I are really close so I understand about the whole not-dating thing. I also absolutely agree with MELSMICE and her list about who gets pregnant. From my experience, the girls who get pregnant are the ones who parents don't really care about them, so they go elsewhere to feel loved. So I'm basically seconding what a lot of other people have said, it really depends on the individual and their age, but you should talk to your kids about all these issues.

What I hear around my high school is really shocking and devastating at the same time. I've had a couple of 'boyfriends,' but he was in band so we just hung out at the football games and stuff like that. My parents offered to take us to this concert my brother was in that they were going to go to, but we broke up before that...

But basically, I'm okay with the no-dating thing. I hear these horror stories and I know I'm not ready to have kids yet, not for a long time.

 

[luvdzny]

I have to say after reading this thread, it's no wonder so many girls are pregnant by the age of 16. They are dating when they are way too young to understand what it really means and their parents are allowing it.

Wow, I have to disagree with this statement. I was the facilitater of a teen mom group at the Family Center for a couple of years. There were a lot of different family situations in these girls lives, but the majority of them came from very strict families. These girls were not allowed to date but they did anyway. Since they were sneaking around they were usually unsupervised so it was a bit easier to do what they wanted. I have a 15 year old DD who has been dating her BF for 6 months, some of her friends are not allowed to date - but they do anyway. I do not think you can put all teen moms into a certain catagory. They come from all kinds of backgrounds.

 

[luvflorida]

I don't think age has anything to do with whether or not someone is "classy" or "trashy". It's the behavior that will get kids labeled. Kids know who the "fast" ones are, or the ones who have no supervision.

A 13/14 year old girl who has a boyfriend or is "going out", (and I'm not talking about a guy picking her up and actually going somewhere), and who has a lot of parental supervision and involvement, and open communication with parents, is going to be a heck of a lot better off than a 16/17 year old girl who has just been allowed to date, and has little or no parental involvement.

Every parent has the right to set whatever boundaries they feel are appropriate for their children. I don't think there is one magical age for dating, though. I believe it should depend on the teen's level of maturity, trustworthiness, and level of responsibility, and on the ability of parents to stay connected to their teens and know where they are and what they are doing.

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

 

[one_cat]

35 with a chaperone.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

They need to be with a group of kids until 16yo. At least another couple. My daughter was ok with this (is now 16yo), but my almost 14yo son will be the one pushing it. My 11yo son isn't into girls yet, but I need to keep my eye on my 4yo...

T&B

 

[MELSMICE]

Originally posted by luvflorida
I don't think age has anything to do with whether or not someone is "classy" or "trashy". It's the behavior that will get kids labeled.

I couldn't agree more!!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Well, I don't have kids, but I can say my parents did not let me go out on unsupervised dates until I was 16.

 

[mickie0866]

My DD is only 8 yrs old. I have instilled the fear of the 'cooties' in her. She truly believes that boys have cooties and they do not loose them until they are 40. I thought I was smart. Her father was 41 when I convinced her of this. However, hubby (who sometimes is not the sharpest tool in the shed) pointed out my worse fear. My DD, at the age of 18, will be dating 40 year old men. I will have to think of a new one and quick!!!