At my wits end with Aspie DS18

[shaylyn]

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[krisnme]

What concerns me most about your post is the statement that your DS has "severe" depression. Don't waste any time! if he will not see a Dr. on his own, you can have him involuntary admitted to the hospital for a pysch hold and evaluation. He may still refuse meds, but at least he would be safe and have no choice about seeing a Dr. to evaluate his symptoms. Would he respond better to an authority figure expaining that meds may help him? He may not even need them, but it sounds like he needs therapy of some sort. Please consider this a medical emergency and contact his regular Dr for advice on how to procede. you may have to see a judge, or get commitment orders from his Dr. in some states it only requires a visit to the ER (which can be escorted by the police if you feel he is a danger to himself) If he will not help himself, you, as the parent, must do it yourself. Good luck.

 

[clm10308]

No suggestions for the depression other than what the PP said.

For the interviews, what about finding a website that gives suggestions on how to act for an interview maybe even with videos? Or check your local Workforce office to see if they have classes on how to get through a job interview.

I know my own DD17 (only diagnosed ADHD but I swear she is AU the older she gets) would religiously follow information from and outside source even if she did not want to hear what I have to say.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My Aspie DS is going to be 17 on Monday. He still has two more years of high school so we haven't gone on a job search yet. I have, however, been noticing a group of baggers that work at our local grocery store. Some are clearly autistic. A couple have Down's Syndrome, and others seem to be cognitively disabled. Many work on their own, under the supervision of the checkers and manager. The other store employees seem to be very patient with them and will jump in and help if they seem distracted or are bagging too slowly. A few of the guys have a job coach who stands near the checkstands and watches them. She will also jump in and help them bag if they're having trouble. She also accompanies them out to the parking lot to collect carts, and around the store when they're sweeping or stocking shelves. She is very unobstusive and makes herself almost invisible. I've noticed her many times since I can see my own son possibly needing a job coach someday. I once asked her which program she works for, and she said Hope Rehabilitation Services (I'm not sure if they're national or regional). Their website has a link for job services.

Perhaps your son would benefit from an organization like that to help with with interview skills, or a full-on job placement with assistance. Might be something to look into? Good luck! I know how frustrating these situations can be!

 

[bookwormde]

How self aware is he? Does he understand his genetics and its gifts and challenges.

Being up front about his gifts and disabilites in iterviews is much more likely to yield results than him just muddling though them.

Has he had the chance to meet and talk with other HFA/Aspergers individuals?

If you have not already join a local Asperges support group, so can get ideas, resources and peer opportunites for you child

 

[cm8]

How self aware is he? Does he understand his genetics and its gifts and challenges.

Being up front about his gifts and disabilites in iterviews is much more likely to yield results than him just muddling though them.

Has he had the chance to meet and talk with other HFA/Aspergers individuals?

If you have not already join a local Asperges support group, so can get ideas, resources and peer opportunites for you child

This Good luck OP and I hope your DS gets a job soon

 

[NotUrsula]

Does he trust his former pediatrician? Who diagnosed his AS? Can you take him back to see that person?

What you need is a medical figure whom he trusts to help him understand about the depression and why that is a separate issue from the Asperger's.

It is fairly easy for a motivated high-functioning Aspie to fake his way through a job interview (forcing himself to make eye contact, etc.), but it is darned near impossible for a severely clinically depressed person to "fake upbeat" for that long.

 

[grumpy&princess]

This is what I worry about with my son who is 15. He also is an aspie. He doesnt do well at any type of interview, stinks at school. Hope things start to look up for both of you.

 

[kritter47]

IMO, this sounds like a depression issue and not an AS issue (though the AS may make him more rigid about not wanting treatment for the depression). That's the primary thing to address here. If you know of communities about mental illness or depression that can give you tips about how to get a reticent person into treatment, that might be the place to start.

Also, consider that this is possibly the worst job market for any 18 year old, so he may have interviewed perfectly but still not have gotten the jobs. Nothing you can do is going to change the job market at the moment.

 

[tikistitch]

I'm an adult in my late 20s with AS and I can honestly say that things will get better for you and your son. It might take a long while, but he'll eventually get where he's meant to be. I was very lucky and was able to get a job at a Disney Store at our local mall when I was 18, and at that time I was actually undiagnosed but I had discussed some of my differences with my managers. They were very understanding and taught me A LOT and working at that store taught me so much about myself. I worked at the Disney Store for 10 years, actually. The skills I learned while working there have really helped me with socialization, although I'm still strongly lacking in a lot of social aspects.

I didn't go to college until I was 22 and it took me 7 years to finish. I'll be honest and say there were times I was very depressed and dropped out for a semester, and went back a semester or two later. But I finally finished college, I graduated this May.

And despite being older than most participants that do the Disney College Program, I applied for the Fall 2012 semester and was accepted! I check in August 20 and I really believe this will be an AMAZING learning experience for me both socially and personally.

I've lived with my parents 98% of my adult life. I've moved out into an apartment alone once, to be closer to my school, but that only lasted a month before I melted down and begged to come back home. I tried living on campus 3 different times but it never worked out and I came back home after a few weeks to a month. So needless to say, my parents are skeptical about my staying so far away from home at WDW. But I hope that being so far away and not having an option to pack my stuff up and leave will force me to stick things out and finish this.

I didn't mean to talk so much about myself here! haha just wanted to say that despite my teenage years and most all of my 20's being a string of difficult experiences and a lot of failure, I eventually have started to find my footing and am learning to grow up and be independent and self-sufficient. I always like to think of the end of Mulan when I think of how long it took me to start to come into my own.

"My, my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late! I bet when it blooms, it will be most beautiful of all."