At Least 3 Things ~1/27/09~

[tinkryansmom]

hugs to you BAMB and family. I hope the teacher issue gets ironed out.

Lisa - hope your day gets better!

Today:

shower
DD to feed pig
Breakfast for everyone
Drive DD and Nephew to school
Trash to dumpster
Little one to Little Gym
COFFEE somewhere in there
Meet DH - he forgot phone charger and is OOT until FridayPU from bus
horseback riding lessons
Dinner - no daddy so nothing special
Homework

 

[WDWMom]

Good luck with the principal Buffy!

 

[PrincessNancy96]

They postponed our county game till tomorrow due to weather... tomorrow is dependent upon the incoming weather over night.... while I'm okay w/ the cancellations..our AD emailed right after I got my curlers in my hair! LOL So, I'm giving her all types of static about waiting til I got all prettied up to go to the game!

Ok, now to see if they are closing up the rest of the schools and cancelling the HS game and the elem ball practices...

 

[aroyer]

Tour AD emailed right after I got my curlers in my hair! LOL So, I'm giving her all types of static about waiting til I got all prettied up to go to the game!

That's HILARIOUS!!!

 

[Arizona Rita]

I need to talk/vent a bit.
I left my job at a very good time because the following week they had a layoff of 12 people. I left on excellent terms and with a substitute contract.
We can afford and did keep our housekeeper and Dh didnt want her to be without a job and she's been very good and loyal to us.
So, the house is clean, the Mt Washmore pile is always getting worked on and I dont have to do all of it on the weekend.
Why then do I feel guilty. I have always worked and think that I needed a break. Its not that I wont go back to work eventually. I have 2 kids to get thru college. The only times I didnt work was when I had my surgeries.
I feel guilty if I scrap more than 2 pages a day and spend more than 30 minutes per day on swaps.
Has anyone been through similar feelings or situations?
Maybe someone out there can covinse me not to feel guilty?
Thanks for listening!

 

[Arizona Rita]

HI!
I'm here, lurking, reading, just havnt been writing!

Hey SN**ies, keep warm! Im sending you AZ sunshine as soon as I can harvest that heat!

 

[PrincessNancy96]

Don't feel guilty!!!! We all go through this!!! I'm going through it now... I feel bad if I go downstairs to work on things.. feel like I'm slighting everyone...but remember.. we need our time too.. Our time to remember WHO we are individuals as well as the many other hats we put on throughout the day!!!

It's ok to work on the challenges and swaps.. It's okay to let Mt. Washmore runeth over a time or two... It's okay just to enjoy life... We just are so use to wearing our many hats and running around that we forget about ourselves!!!

 

[PrincessNancy96]

It's been sn**ing about about 2 hours here...
They have canceled 2 activities; I'm awaiting to hear about DD's game....
Keep your fingers crossed I can get a night off w/ all my kids HOME at once!!!

 

[tinkryansmom]

fingers crossed.

 

[rlovew]

I need to talk/vent a bit.
I left my job at a very good time because the following week they had a layoff of 12 people. I left on excellent terms and with a substitute contract.
We can afford and did keep our housekeeper and Dh didnt want her to be without a job and she's been very good and loyal to us.
So, the house is clean, the Mt Washmore pile is always getting worked on and I dont have to do all of it on the weekend.
Why then do I feel guilty. I have always worked and think that I needed a break. Its not that I wont go back to work eventually. I have 2 kids to get thru college. The only times I didnt work was when I had my surgeries.
I feel guilty if I scrap more than 2 pages a day and spend more than 30 minutes per day on swaps.
Has anyone been through similar feelings or situations?
Maybe someone out there can covinse me not to feel guilty?
Thanks for listening!

I worked as a teacher until this past summer- we moved an hour and a half away for Dh's job as a pastor. I couldn't justify the expense of driving back and forth or having two households. Things have been a little tighter this year with our 75% decrease in income (losing mine and DH's decrease). I applied for a job in the school district we moved to but I haven't gotten anything- there were over 1000 applicants for the 10 positions that opened this summer and they are having layoffs throughout the year all over FL in the school systems.

I have gone from working full time to staying at home and I don't have children. I do some things (some paperwork and meetings) for DH at church but don't really do that much.

I felt guilty at first but we have also looked at things- there isn't anything in the schools- they aren't even highering subs right now because their sub list is so long in most of the counties around me. We have looked at our finances and have realized that once we have our house rented (we owned a house before we moved) we will still have more disposable income each month than many people. No we don't have the extras we used to have- we could easily go to Disney a weekend or 2 each month staying there in any class hotel- now we have to think about it and make a trade off to go. If I really wanted it due to DH being a pastor at one of the major churches in town- I could probably get something part time around here but we don't need me to work to live comfortably- yes I need to cook each night because we can't go out to eat but it is healthier overall anyways. If I was to take one of the few jobs here in town though I would be taking them from a family that might really need the income just to cover their bills. We have a pre-k at the church and if I wanted to work there I would be the next one hired but we have a list of people who want to work there and need the income. We have decided that it isn't worth it for us. Making that decision and looking at it in that light helped me feel less guilty. I do make sure I get out and do some volunteer work but if I have 2-3 hours for scrapbooking a day and I am not hurting out budget purchasing things I don't feel guilty. I make lots of what I do as gifts although about every 3rd page is just for me, I do a lot of things for my nieces and nephews.

To help me make sure I am balanced I make a list every Sunday of goals for the week. I divide my list into 4 areas- house stuff, church/volunteer things, swaps, scrapbooking. I try to make sure that no list way outbalances the others. On the house list I include things like: laundry, dinners, grocery shopping, deep cleaning (I try to do one room each week- that gets me around the whole house 4 times a year), paperwork, bill paying, special cooking) I have 19 hours on it this week. On the church list I include the Bible studies and the preparation time, making the bullitens, meetings I have to attend, specail events, ordering photos and scrapping events for the church, ect- I generally have about 10-15 hours depending on the number of meetings. I keep a master list of my swaps- right now I have 14 swaps I am working on (not groups but actual swaps- most have more than one group) and 10 that I am waiting return on. I divide my list into all the tasks needed for each swap- designing, shopping, cutting, glueing, packing, ect and give myself early due dates for each swap to get each part done. I will work on about 3-4 swaps a week. This week I have 17 hours set aside for swaps but last week when I was working on my hostess duties I had about 22. I also keep a list of scrapping that I want to finish both for myself and others. I also include cleaning up my scrap room and editing photos as well as kitting under my scrapping time. I generally choose out 1 project to work on kitting a part of each week, 1 project to be putting together, and then a few other things that need to get done- project 365 for example is on each week as is parts of organzing (from the thread) and after we finish I will add a put away items on my list- so I set asidfe time to get everything where it belongs. This week my scrapping area was 12 hours- I do not have a personal album kitted and ready to put together- instead I have been doing Easter gifts for my nieces. I also assign each task a day to work on it (or sometimes more than one day if needed to make sure I am not expecting to do more than 10-12 hours in a day- I overestimate on times normally).

Now that I have bored you out of your mind with my anal need to check off a list (it proves I have done something), I hope that some of my ideas will help you to feel better about things.

Rebecca

 

[hopemax]

Well, I haven't worked since college, despite, my engineering degree. And we don't want kids, which takes away a socially acceptable reason for a person to stay home. I dealt (and still do sometimes) with a lot of grief from others about our choice. And I still get guilt flare-ups. What it boiled down to:

DH and I, are financially secure with one income. We've gone through 3 layoffs, one for 9 months. We have retirement accounts, we have no debt. We don't have a house, and that is something that I would like, but I know the reason we don't have one isn't because I'm not working. It's because I spend a small fortune on vacations and "stuff" (Disney & scrapping).

DH is totally on board with me staying home. He just says he doesn't want to have to go without reasonable expenditures of his choosing, while I am spending my small fortune. And he does. When I feel guilty, he is the one that pulls me back. He reminds me of the reasons of how our life benefits from me staying home. And reminds me that we work to live, not live to work. He enjoys going to work, and would go insane staying home. I am the opposite. Yes, we would have more money, and therefore more things if I worked. But would having those things really be beneficial and would the cost (time away from home, possible job stress/unhappiness) be worth it?

I'm not a great housekeeper, even with the time and lack of distractions. But things are sanitary, I could get ready for company in less than a day (unlike some family I know) , and I saw how DH lived before we were married, he couldn't care less.

Are your bills paid?
Is DH happy? (more or less; not does DH have every whim satisfied)
Are your kids happy?
Is there something else you NEED to be doing?
Does your guilt help someone else?

If scrapping more than half an hour is going to let something BAD happen, then don't do it. If it's not...then get over yourself.

I feel bad if I go downstairs to work on things.. feel like I'm slighting everyone...

And when they go off to do something, they consider everyone else's feelings, right?

 

[aroyer]

As a stay at home mom, I have tons of guilt because I don't work. We don't own our home yet and it is because I am home. But I also didn't want to miss out on being with my little guy while he is still little. And, as DD gets older I want to be front and center in her life. We live comfortably and happily and I think at the end of the day, that is what matters.

On a completely different subject, this is how crazy Texas weather is- we are currently at 38 degrees, my SIL in Houston is currently at 80 degrees.

 

[believen]

30 degrees here but no ice. Thankfully, everyone is home for the evening.
Holly, I'm about 2 1/2 hours drive north of Ashley. We really should meet someday! I can think of several scrap stores along the way.

Rita,
I know exactly how your feeling- minus the housekeeper lol. I'm one of those crazies that enjoy cleaning. Now, if I could have a cook..... I haven't worked outside the home since I have been married-24 years. We have always homeschooled, but my youngest does it all online, with no help from me, and the other 2 have graduated. I had always thought I'd work when the kids were grown. We replanned when we thought we were getting 3 younger children. When that didn't happen, we didn't change the plans.
Our budget works for us. We live comfortably.
I scrapbook once a week with friends and sometimes several hours each day at home. No one suffers from it.
I agree with what the others have said. If it's working for you and your family, that is what matters.
Rebecca, I love your idea of a list and different areas. I just jotted my week down and it was much more 'even' than I had imagined.

 

[aroyer]

Holly, I'm about 2 1/2 hours drive north of Ashley. We really should meet someday! I can think of several scrap stores along the way.

I agree- that would be so much fun!

 

[MomOf2DisneyKids]

everyone stay warm and safe tonight and tomorrow!!

ps--love everyone's thoughts on how to balance it all....now, if I could just figure it out... LOL

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

And then there are those of us who just wallow in our guilt.

But I think mine is from my Catholic upbringing. Nobody can do guilt like a Catholic. Stereotypical, but oh so true.

Rebecca, would you email me your house list? I know I would do a better job with a little more structure. I can organize files, office space & agendas, just don't ask me to do house organization. I just fall to pieces.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Ah the ugly purple monster rears his head. Guilt, I own that bad boy!!

The way I see it is I am obligated to do something for myself. I take care of everyone else, sometimes it's my turn.
It's like if your family is sick, if you don't take your vitamins and rest you'll get sick too. Then no one gets anything done.

Just try to balance it out, for every 15 minutes of housework, you get 5 minutes to scrap or read or do nothing.

Rebecca I love your list!!

I typically save my scrapping for 2 crops a month but those are all day. DH knows it's important to me because 90% of the time I'm a single parent.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Serious? Guilt is purple? Purple is my favorite color. Guess I was just meant to have the guilt.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

oh I don't know, envy is green, jealousy is red right? sadness is blue, guilt needs to be something?!?!?!

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

oh I don't know, envy is green, jealousy is red right? sadness is blue, guilt needs to be something?!?!?!

You made it up.

I like purple. Purple doesn't make me think of any other emotion. Except passion and I'm quite passionate about my guilt.