Asking about buying stuff from a divorcing couple

[Hemlock]

My SIL asked me to come with her and her DH when they looked at a house for sale near mine. The house is owned by some acquaintances of mine who are separating (we all attend the same church, our kids go to the same school....). Anyway, my SIL is not buying the house, but while we were touring the home, I fell in LOVE with their dining room set (table, 8 chairs and a large hutch). From what I understand this couple is selling their large home and will likely each be purchasing a smaller home or renting apartments. My SIL knows the couple quite well and says that they are asking too much for their home because they spent alot of money on renovations and are hoping to recoup some of their costs (I think they are stretched pretty tight financially). Anyway, my DH thinks that we should just mention to them that if they are interested in selling their dining room set, that we would be interested. I kinds feel like it may be in poor taste given the situation (it was not a mutual decision for the couple to split up - she has met someone else). I would really like to purchase the dining room set, if they sold it, but it just seems awkward to ask (my DH even offered to ask). What do you think?

 

[Handbag Lady]

My SIL asked me to come with her and her DH when they looked at a house for sale near mine. The house is owned by some acquaintances of mine who are separating (we all attend the same church, our kids go to the same school....). Anyway, my SIL is not buying the house, but while we were touring the home, I fell in LOVE with their dining room set (table, 8 chairs and a large hutch). From what I understand this couple is selling their large home and will likely each be purchasing a smaller home or renting apartments. My SIL knows the couple quite well and says that they are asking too much for their home because they spent alot of money on renovations and are hoping to recoup some of their costs (I think they are stretched pretty tight financially). Anyway, my DH thinks that we should just mention to them that if they are interested in selling their dining room set, that we would be interested. I kinds feel like it may be in poor taste given the situation (it was not a mutual decision for the couple to split up - she has met someone else). I would really like to purchase the dining room set, if they sold it, but it just seems awkward to ask (my DH even offered to ask). What do you think?

I would ask the SIL if she knew if they were planning on selling the furniture first. Perhaps she can be the go-between as a helpful friend, if the couple really does need to downsize and make some money.

I don't think you are being a scavenger by asking and you might just well be helping them out with cashflow.



OR: ask them where they bought it as you fell in love with it when you saw it. That would open the door without having you feel awkward about it.

 

[Miss Peach]

... ask them where they bought it as you fell in love with it when you saw it. That would open the door without having you feel awkward about it.

Perfect!

Cathy

 

[Imzadi]

I don't see this as any different of a business deal than when you looked at the house. You knew the circumstances of why the house is for sale. It wasn't like you were going to visit with ulterior motives. All parties involved knew why you were there.

Start the conversation like handbag lady suggested, asking them where they bought it from, Then add in, the question of whether they might be selling it before they move.

 

[arminnie]

They may be thrilled to get rid of it. It can be hard to sell big furniture for the dining room these days. We had an estate sale after my dad died and the one thing that did not sell was the dining room table and chairs. Sold the buffet and the china cabinet separately.

 

[Hemlock]

OP here. I like the suggestions, but I have never had a real conversation with either of these people. I have never really said more than "hello" to either of them. Given that I know what is going on (the split up situation), do you think it would be weird to go up to her and say "you have a really beautiful home, I especially loved you dining room set, where did you purchase it". I feel a little bad because the home belonged to his mother, but neither of them can afford to keep it.

 

[kerrynic78]

When my ex and I divorced I would have been thrilled for someone to inquire about my dining set. I was moving back up north and he was moving as well, so trying to sell it was a headache! I say go for it.

 

[Imzadi]

OP here. I like the suggestions, but I have never had a real conversation with either of these people. I have never really said more than "hello" to either of them. Given that I know what is going on (the split up situation), do you think it would be weird to go up to her and say "you have a really beautiful home, I especially loved you dining room set, where did you purchase it". I feel a little bad because the home belonged to his mother, but neither of them can afford to keep it.

In that case, can you have your SIL inquire? have DH ask her or have him ask since he offered. They might remember him a bit more being the brother of a friend. He could bring it up along the lines of, "My DW really fell in love with your dining room set. Are you possibly going to be selling it? Or where did you get it from. I'd really love to get it for her for Valentine's Day. Something like that would really go over as being romantic & any awkwardness they might initially feel would be lost as DH just scored points for wanting to do something like that for you.

 

[RadioNate]

In that case, can you have your SIL inquire? have DH ask her or have him ask since he offered. They might remember him a bit more being the brother of a friend. He could bring it up along the lines of, "My DW really fell in love with your dining room set. Are you possibly going to be selling it? Or where did you get it from. I'd really love to get it for her for Valentine's Day. Something like that would really go over as being romantic & any awkwardness they might initially feel would be lost as DH just scored points for wanting to do something like that for you.

This is a couple divorcing due to infildelity skip the Valentines and romance talk.

As someone in a similar situation, that would not go over well with me.

However, I wouldn't be offended if someone asked about buying it. I'd have the SIL ask, tell the friend you toured the house with them and loved the set & inquire if they'd be interested in selling it.

 

[Disney Doll]

These people know they are splitting up, they know you toured the house. I'd just say "I love your dining room set. if you are thinking of selling it, I would love to buy it".

It's a business deal....

 

[tlbwriter]

I don't see this as any different of a business deal than when you looked at the house. You knew the circumstances of why the house is for sale. It wasn't like you were going to visit with ulterior motives. All parties involved knew why you were there.

It's different because the house has been put on the market. The furniture has not.

What if you contacted the real estate agent and said you were interested in buying the furniture and could he/she see if the couple is willing to sell it?

 

[marlynnp]

You don't really know them. They are getting divorced and moving.
What do you think is going to happen if you ask? Other than receiving either a yes or no?