arrgh!! bad news!

[malibustacey]

i found out some news yesterday evening, and it wasnt very good. I came home to my mum telling me that my cousin had set a date for her wedding- (we had talked to them and family about our plans to marry in orlando in Nov 2010. that has always been the month and year from when we basically got engaged). She has booked to get married in Feb 2011- in Jamaica.

Now this is all lovely for them, having booked and that, but now- at first i didnt mind at all, but now thinking about it more- the family will be torn over what wedding to go to- as there is only 3 months between them and i can see slim chances of the family affording to go to both Orlando and Jamaica!

i know its very far away and im sure everyone will say if they start saving now then they can afford it but i know too well that people will have to choose between the weddings. Im just mad because even though they got engaged before us, they never made any plans, and we made plans right from the beginning and told the family that it was Nov 2010 all along. Also, i have a feeling that they will somehow be able to afford to go to our wedding as well as thier own- and we will not be able to afford to go to thiers in Jamaica.

I'm just thinking that maybe me and the Fiance will have to put out our own save the month/date cards to family soon- before the Disney ones get sent out like a year or less before the wedding because then that will be too late.

(does Disney send out their save the date cards at no extra cost/are the cards included in the wedding package?)

 

[Chilly]

It is a shame that the 2 weddings will be close together but I think you just need to put it out of your mind and concentrate on making your own wedding special. Look on the bright side, if less people come to your wedding you'll be able to save money and treat yourselves to something that you might not have been able to afford.

It might be a good idea to let the people you really want to come to your wedding that your ceremony will definately be in Orlando in Nov 2010 but no need to do STDs just send an e-mail and say further info will be available this November.

I think the Disney STDs are included in the Wishes package.

 

[malibustacey]

thank you for the advice!

its already very expensive because we originally said the max amount of guests would be 40- including us two- then suddenly when we started talking about Disney, more people started saying they would try and save upto come. There is no exact number of guests yet, but i just thought that this other wedding might take off 7+more guests at our wedding but who knows.

we just dont want the conflict when we say that might not be able to afford to go to thier wedding when they could go to ours? im secretly hoping that they wont be able to afford to go to ours- then we wont have the conflict, and we can say we cant afford to go to thiers either (not in a horrible way- we really wont be able to afford to go to thiers!!).

 

[Chilly]

we just dont want the conflict when we say that might not be able to afford to go to thier wedding when they could go to ours? im secretly hoping that they wont be able to afford to go to ours- then we wont have the conflict, and we can say we cant afford to go to thiers either (not in a horrible way- we really wont be able to afford to go to thiers!!).

I'm sure there won't be any problem with you saying to them you can't afford to go to their wedding. It'll be up to them to then decide what they want to do.

You'll probably find that even though a lot of people said they will come a lot will drop out. Also don't feel you have to invite people if you can't afford it.

 

[malibustacey]

yeah thats very true. Im one of those people that invites everyone because i dont want the awkwardness if they ask if they are coming or not- a few weeks ago, i had my next door neighbour (who i used to be good mates with and now are not really) asked if she could be the bridesmaid- and i just responded i dont know who i want yet. I hate confrontations!

As much as it would be nice to have lots of people there- i understand that many wont be able to go because they cant afford it, (we are finding its becoming expensive due to the drop in the currency!) but i will take your advice and send out emails or something small to let them know that it will be in Nov 2010 and the dates will be sent to them in November this year.

 

[Chilly]

yeah thats very true. Im one of those people that invites everyone because i dont want the awkwardness if they ask if they are coming or not- a few weeks ago, i had my next door neighbour (who i used to be good mates with and now are not really) asked if she could be the bridesmaid- and i just responded i dont know who i want yet. I hate confrontations!

I can't believe she asked to be a BM! Confrontations aren't nice but for your wedding you need to make sure its what you want and you have the people you want around.

 

[malibustacey]

yeah thats right- its our wedding, its our day!

i know we will have some tough decisions to make and i know it will be stressful, it gonna have to toughen up if its already stressing me out a little! hehe!!

thank you for your kind advice

 

[malibustacey]

have you thought about / booked your flights yet? and if you have, did you do it by doing a group booking? I posted a thred on the main page asking for advice but no one has posted back yet... so as you are from the UK, i thought i'd ask..



=D