ARGH! Scared-y-cat DH is making DD nervous about rides!

[BellsFam]

OMG! Please help settle an argument between DH and myself...

I like thrill rides... I particularly enjoy them, I'm not a person who gets motion-sick, etc.

My DH is the opposite, he's afraid of some rides and he's motion-sick (over everything), he rode Mission Space once, got super sick and won't ride most other rides.

Whatever...he's content to sit and wait for me.

The problem is he is pretty much now talking DD(5 will be 6 while we're there) out of some of the great rides!

We checked and believe she has the height requirement, and if so, I'd like her to try some of them, ToT, EE, BTMR, Splash...it's not like she's on a ride alone, she'll be with me. He's telling her "you don't really know if you'll like it ToT can be pretty spooky and Splash has a HUGE drop"... DUDE! That's not fair right?

While I'd never force her onto a ride, I will "encourage" her to ride with me. I think it would be good for her not to be afraid of the rides.

Who would be "more correct"?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

OMG! Please help settle an argument between DH and myself...

I like thrill rides... I particularly enjoy them, I'm not a person who gets motion-sick, etc.

My DH is the opposite, he's afraid of some rides and he's motion-sick (over everything), he rode Mission Space once, got super sick and won't ride most other rides.

Whatever...he's content to sit and wait for me.

The problem is he is pretty much now talking DD(5 will be 6 while we're there) out of some of the great rides!

We checked and believe she has the height requirement, and if so, I'd like her to try some of them, ToT, EE, BTMR, Splash...it's not like she's on a ride alone, she'll be with me. He's telling her "you don't really know if you'll like it ToT can be pretty spooky and Splash has a HUGE drop"... DUDE! That's not fair right?

While I'd never force her onto a ride, I will "encourage" her to ride with me. I think it would be good for her not to be afraid of the rides.

Who would be "more correct"?

Well--since you asked, I think your husband is being ridiculous. I would be mad if my husband did that.

That said, I wouldn't get your hopes up of getting her on to too many things your husband refuses to go on.

But husband is wrong. He doesn't have to ride. He could state why he won't. But trying to convince her to not ride based on his fears is childish. Is his name Marlin and your daughter, Nemo?

 

[TXAKDisneyFan]

I would never want to limit my child's experiences because of my preferences or limitations. For instance, bell peppers of any kind make me sick (they give me an almost instant migraine, and I loathe the taste). Rather than tell my DD that bell peppers are disgusting, I encourage her to try them and explain that everyone likes different things (and that's okay).

 

[100AcreWood]

Another vote in your corner. I am terrified of snakes. But I don't tell the kids that. I explain to them that some snakes are nice and others we just need to not pick up. I don't pass on my fear. We go to museums and I walk to the snake area and smile and agree that is a really big snake. But my heart is beating very fast. I would never want them to develop such a fear.

 

[IrishNYC]

My husband and I are not huge thrill ride people. I can take or leave them, he's not a fan. We went to an amusement park last summer and DD, who had just turned 5, spotted the classic wooden coaster and decided she couldn't wait to go on it. We tried to warn her she might be too short (we hoped she was), but didn't actively discourage her from riding. She figured out the height system pretty quickly (it was color coded) and knew what colors she could ride - which was every single ride in the park, including the coaster.

I said I'd ride with her, and DH reluctantly agreed as well. DD LOVED it. She laughed her head off the whole ride. Seeing her joy on that roller coaster far outweighed my indifference and DH's fear. Now he's looking forward to all the thrill rides at Disney with DD. but neither of is is disappointed that she's too short for RnRC.

 

[Hezzy04]

I can see both sides (slightly). I definitely want my girls to try all the rides they can, but I also want them to be prepared so nothing scares them to the point that they don't want to try anythingn else! So I have been talking about the "big drop" on Splash Mountain, or the "Silly ride that tries to scare you" (Haunted Mansion).

I think the main difference is that I feel like I am preparing my girls, but keeping it positive. Maybe you can inject some positive into the negativity? Good luck!!

 

[dmband]

My mil does this and it pisses me off
We have got into some heated discussions.
It's the same as if a toddler falls down, if you freak out they since that and respond by crying if you act like it's no big deal more often they will get up and walk it off
If it was me I would slam the hell out of him

 

[montrealdisneylovers]

Your husband is doing your daughter a great disservice by passing his fears on to her.

My mother was TERRIFIED of thunder. When my brother and I were younger she masked her fear by playing games with us: rolling on the floor, tickling us etc. I guess the noise we all made blocked out the thunder and provided a distraction. As we became teenagers, my mom no longer had to mask her fear, and would go hide in a closet and we would just laugh at her.

To this day I love watching thunder storms and thank my mom for not passing the fear on to me.

 

[PlutoLover93]

My cousins did the same thing to me on my first trip down. I was 9 and they had my terrified of everything from ToT to ExtraTERRORestrial. I was crying before we even got on half the rides. It was horrible and it ruined a good portion of my trip. I look back and get so mad when I see that some of the rides aren't there anymore. I never had a chance to actually experience them. He needs to stop psyching her out or she'll never want to try new things.

 

[SillySallySews]

Is he being serious or joking? If he is joking around I'd tell him to knock it off (in a nice way). If he's being serious and it was my kid, I'd start showing her Youtube videos of the rides so she can see for herself what they're like. It would be awesome if he was in the middle of telling her something would be super scary and she started pointed out all the not scary things about it from having watched a video. Good luck!

 

[JoshuaShaw]

Divorce.

 

[sharona]

He's being selfish. Let DD decide for herself what she's ready for. He should be building her confidence, not trying to get someone to bench sit with him.

 

[ConnieB]

I agree that he should be careful to not discourage from trying "new things". While she may end up having his metabolism and unable to enjoy certain rides, that's really something she will need to learn herself.

What you might want to do is find a youtube video of each ride and let her view it so that she can see exactly what the ride entails. I would be sure to preview the videos first so that you can be sure you don't pick one where someone is screaming bloody murder, lol. I am not fond of surprises in any aspect, so I tend to prefer to know a lot about the ride, twists, turns, etc, so I found that videos helped me to have less anxiety about "what's going to happen". Whereas my girls don't want spoilers about new experiences, they want to be surprised.

Another thing to realize....your daughter is very young right now and subject to taking what her daddy says very seriously. If he has frightened her, realize it will likely be a temporary thing....you keep telling her how much fun it is, perhaps relating it to something she has already experienced where she thought she'd not like it but ended up she did....or about Halloween and how sometimes it's actually fun to be "scared" like when someone jumps out and yells Boo (or whatever). If she still doesn't want to ride the thrill rides with you, think hard before you force her or even push really hard......let her ride some of the less thrill type rides and see how much she enjoys those, then realize that as she grows older she will likely want to increase those thrills. Let her do so at her pace, it may be hard to wait, but most people do better when they can do it their timing. I'd suggest taking her on 7DMT....if she really likes that tell her the others are like that, where its a little scary but the "fun to be scared" type scary. In fact, you might counter what daddy has said by turning "scary" into, "yeah, sometimes it's fun to be scared" like at Halloween.

Patience may be your best bet, wait for her to come around....when you get off the ride relate to her how wonderful it was, and let her catch your enthusiasm.

My girls would absolutely NOT ride any of the headliners when we first started visiting...that was fine, I didn't push at all....there were plenty of other fun things to do and those lines were long anyway, lol. As the years went on Meghan decided little by little to try the "big" rides....and now those that you mentioned are among her first choices....still love the tamer rides, but she loves and adores ToT and RRnC....her twin sister was brave enough to try both and has decided she would rather do something else with her FP, lol. And the funny thing is, Jessica is usually the brave one......the first to jump into to try something.....but when it comes to "scary" rides....she's not so brave.

I hope your daughter is able to enjoy the rides with you, but if not, all you can do is keep talking about the fun and see if as she grows older she'll try at least once and get hooked, lol.

 

[flopnut2112]

Take advantage and turn the tables! Convince DD that rides are fun there's lots of evidence to support this. Perhaps you can coax DH into summoning enough courage for that "huge" drop on BTMRR or Splash!

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I'm on your side in this one, you DH is wrong.
I know how he feels, I'm a scaredy cat too, I've never been on ToT, and though i have been on RnR, EE, and splash Mtn, I make excuses not to go again.
When my kids were little, I whole heartedly encouraged them to ride everything, and when my youngest was afraid of RnR (at age 5) I said if he will try it, I will too. So we both went on, and he got a gift from the gift shop for being so brave. (I got an ice cream cone,lol)
It's not fair to our kids if we pass on our irrational fears. If your DD tries the rides and doesn't like them, then at least she can say she tried and found out for herself.

 

[eeyore45]

OMG! Please help settle an argument between DH and myself...

I like thrill rides... I particularly enjoy them, I'm not a person who gets motion-sick, etc.

My DH is the opposite, he's afraid of some rides and he's motion-sick (over everything), he rode Mission Space once, got super sick and won't ride most other rides.

Whatever...he's content to sit and wait for me.

The problem is he is pretty much now talking DD(5 will be 6 while we're there) out of some of the great rides!

We checked and believe she has the height requirement, and if so, I'd like her to try some of them, ToT, EE, BTMR, Splash...it's not like she's on a ride alone, she'll be with me. He's telling her "you don't really know if you'll like it ToT can be pretty spooky and Splash has a HUGE drop"... DUDE! That's not fair right?

While I'd never force her onto a ride, I will "encourage" her to ride with me. I think it would be good for her not to be afraid of the rides.

Who would be "more correct"?

How interesting. Parenting is hard. If you ask me Respect is very important.

I agree with a PP - I would talk with DD, but she is very young... and I would respect that. I would show her youtube videos of some of the rides, and realize when you are at Disney the rides may look HUGE to her, one thing dd, now 17 still is not sure she can ride Splash due to that large drop - but, she watches the end and we tell her how much fun people are having, it looks scary, but its not. Do you ever in a car go over a "dip in the road" and get that silly "tickle tummy" feeling? I have a great aunt that used to always point those out - maybe thats where my love of thrill rides came along.

5 and 6 is still young for some of the thrill rides, even if they are tall enough. Some kids, its in their blood, they want to ride those rides, and you can't get them off of them!

I think you need to communicate. Not instill fear, not force any subject either way. Keep in mind you are on vacation, and to the Happiest Place on Earth!

 

[Indio]

I would start my own encouragement campaign! Show her youtube videos of all the rides and tell her daddy is being a silly scaredy cat! If she sees that you enjoy it and think it's great, I'll bet she'll want to try all the rides too!

 

[asbyrneva]

if you do get her to ride I would suggest to "build up" to what you think would be the scariest for her. Personally out of your list I would start with BTMR. Also my son was more nervous about the pre ride part of TOT the first time (seriously a ride where an entire family including kid dies???). The ride itself doesnt really bother him. Also Fast pass on those rides can be your friend. Nothing makes things worse for a nervous rider then thinking about it in line for 30 minutes

 

[perditax]

Randomly inserting this: after a decade-long absence from Space Mountain, I didn't realize the entire ride is basically in pitch blackness now. I went from being excited to ride to genuinely scared when I realized I wouldn't be able to see any of the drops or loops coming. (I suffer from a certain amount of vertigo, it's fine if I can see where I'm going, and the last time I rode SM I could dimly see the tracks and other cars and that was fine.) For anyone on the anxiety edge, this is worth being aware of.

 

[disneyfantotheend]

I don't think a parent should instill their fears on their children. It is fine for them not to ride, but do not try to convince your child not to ride just because you do not like it.