argh Dave Ramsey

[nowellsl]

My question is how do you get into so much debt in the first place. DH and I have NEVER had a credit card. All we have in "debt" is a house loan. All three of our vehciles have been paid for before we drove them off the lot. We don't miss out on much either.

money in < money out = debt (living beyond your means!)

To the OP - your wife really needs you to get on the bandwagon. It only works if you two work together! It does get easier and you will totally think it's worth it when you are debt free!! It is so much more fun to take a vacation when you don't have to pay for it for the next year!

 

[hhartill]

We modified our plan. I could not go without a vacation (didn't have to be at disney, but I need one) for 3 years. I figured being debt free wouldn't be so much fun if I was in jail for manslaughter. worked for us We have a mortgage and a car note and that works well for us.

That's where we are, I won't give up a vacation and I know it will take me longer to get out of debt, we accept that. It is also kind of fun to be creative with ways we cut our spending. The budget board has been awesome!

 

[Sansa]

money in < money out = debt (living beyond your means!)

Can you explain this, please? By that definiation, you would be bouncing checks/payments every month...

 

[kfeuer]

I agree the debt free thing sounds great and Ramsey makes some very good points. My problem I guess is I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.We are in our 50s trying to survive in our own business which is mortgage related and a bit in the dumps right now and looks like this could take some time.I have tried to find a job like Ramsey suggests but haven't had any luck since I only have a high school diploma and my past work history is in the entertainment business and retail management.I am sure with persistance we will get evrything paid off in maybe 10 years, with the toughest being the house.

With retirement looming, I think your wife is completely right to want to get your debt under control.

If the current plan feels too restrictive, perhaps you could find some ways to make it better. If you miss eating out, see if there's some restaurant mystery shops available in your area (check www.volition.com). Check out the rewards programs board here on the Dis, there's lots of programs that have restaurant gift cards as a reward. Sign up with all the market research places in your area, that's an easy way to earn $75-$125 for a few hours of your time. Get creative about your vacations (I wouldn't want to go ten years without a vacation, either). Skyauction.com is a great source for cheap condo rentals (unused timeshare units). Since the condos have a full kitchen, you could go somewhere new without having to eat out.

I hope with a little tweaking you can come up with a plan that both of you can be excited about.

 

[kfeuer]

Can you explain this, please? By that definiation, you would be bouncing checks/payments every month...

Most people put the excess spending on their credit cards (and don't pay them off in full when the bill comes in).

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'm all for moderation in anything.

But I also have to think that if the OP has so much debt that even with sacrificing all meals out and vacations he still won't pay it off until the great-grandchildren are born, moderation hasn't been followed and it might be time to sacrifice some pleasure to get it cleaned up.

Unless --- he's exaggerating.

I also agree that married couples should compromise. Talk to your wife about your reluctance. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[nzdisneymom]

Vacations and such are much needed to help us enjoy life....I wouldn't drop them just because some guy tells you they are bad. You know your life a lot better then anyone else.

That's a common misconception - Dave Ramsey does not say vacations are bad. What he teaches is to pay cash for everything. Don't buy things / do things that you cannot afford.

You can take every spare penny and apply toward paying off your debt according to his plan. Or you can take some of those spare pennies and put into funding a paid-for-in-cash-vacation if that's what you choose to do, thus delaying your get-out-of-debt end date. The big thing is knowing how taking a vacation will impact your ability to become debt free. As many have testified here, skipping a year (or more) at WDW is so worth it to become debt free and then pay cash for a magical vacation. Others will tell you that they don't carry debt but they STILL pay cash for their vacations - even if it means not going annually.

OP - it's really important for you and your DW to be on the same page with how you address your family finances. I hope that you will give some serious thought and attention to the things she is telling you about and will read for yourself with an open mind. Do the math and see how it makes sense (or doesn't). With some "gazelle intensity" I imagine you won't have to wait for grandchildren before making multiple trips to WDW

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

Since this caused SUCH an upset among "us".....

Good luck OP!

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

As far as how to people get into debt... Um, it's pretty easy. I've been debt free- I've been in debt- like someone told me earlier, it's like gaining weight- gaining weight (debt) is easy- it's the losing it that's the hard part!

Anyways, I know your pain- except I'm the evil wife who decided all of the credit cards MUST go. We're down to one card left to pay off and one furniture bill- and hopefully, both will be gone this year! I'm very excited. I know it puts off any future plans to go to WDW for a bit, but heck- I waited three years for my last trip and it was awesome. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

 

[loco4dis]

It may sound like a "pain", but I wish I had discovered the debt free way to live ages ago.

To make a long story short, we have a lot of cc debt. We were doing fine...until my husband's salary at work got cut in half. Because of the cut, we can't afford our bills and will be filing for bankruptcy on Tuesday.

I would give anything to go back and undo all of my charging. I would charge and think "I can pay it off later".....after thousands and thousands of dollars, I ran out of "laters" and now have to live up to the consequences of having a tremendous amount of debt.

Being "debt free" might not sound like the most fun thing to do, but it is the most responsible for you and your family.

Good luck!

Excuse me, you're filing bankruptcy on Tuesday, so your creditors are unlikely to ever be repaid the funds they loaned you, and yet your ticker says you're going to the Poly in 7 months? I think I see what the problem is.

 

[UGAFan0829]

My DH and I are currently doing Dave's Financial Peace University. We are on week 5 of 13 and are working hard towards becoming debt free. Before we started the classes, we had a trip to WDW booked for this coming September. However, reality set in, and I knew that we really didn't need to pay $3,000 for a vacation, especially since we were in Disney last year. So instead of giving up vacation all together, we are going to the beach for a week, which should cost half of what it does to go to Disney. We also have a 7-night DCL cruise booked for next year, but we booked that a good while back. It's also a celebration for our 10th anniversary, so we are definitely not cancelling it. We have a while to pay for it, so we'll be fine. However, it may be a while before we actually make it back to WDW, and yes, that is very hard. But I also know that once we do go back, we'll be able to do everything that we want and stay where WE want instead of where our money tells us to! I mean what could be better than going to Disney and not having to worry about a budget or coming home broke?
Good luck to you...I hope that you decide to join your wife...I don't think she can do it without you!

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

Again, didn't want to cause upset. Good luck OP!

 

[kfeuer]

My problem? Yes, it was the fact that my husband's company cut his salary in half...that is our problem!

Come on now...you've posted almost braggingly (on a different thread) about charging previous Disney vacations in the past. I'm not trying to attack you, but don't you think you need to be real about what got you into this mess? And it wasn't just the salary loss, it was the fact that your choices set up a financial house of cards that the slightest breeze was going to knock over.

If you don't mind sharing, what are you going to do differently going forward?

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

Come on now...you've posted almost braggingly (on a different thread) about charging previous Disney vacations in the past. I'm not trying to attack you, but don't you think you need to be real about what got you into this mess? And it wasn't just the salary loss, it was the fact that your choices set up a financial house of cards that the slightest breeze was going to knock over.

If you don't mind sharing, what are you going to do differently going forward?

Yep, I never thought it was a problem to charge anything and everything. My husband made really good money and we always afforded our payments comfortably. I never saw a problem with it.

I absolutely know it was our spending that got us into the credit card debt, no argument there. BUT, had my husband's salary not gotten cut, we would still be plodding along, making our payments, like we always did.

What am I going to do differently? Never have a credit card, unless it's secured with a $500 limit. If I don't have cash, I won't buy it. If we want to buy something "big", it's called a savings account. When we finally do go on vacation again, we will save up every penny for it.

This has been a hard lesson, but one that I needed to learn.

 

[loco4dis]

Yep, I never thought it was a problem to charge anything and everything. My husband made really good money and we always afforded our payments comfortably. I never saw a problem with it.

I absolutely know it was our spending that got us into the credit card debt, no argument there. BUT, had my husband's salary not gotten cut, we would still be plodding along, making our payments, like we always did.

What am I going to do differently? Never have a credit card, unless it's secured with a $500 limit. If I don't have cash, I won't buy it. If we want to buy something "big", it's called a savings account. When we finally do go on vacation again, we will save up every penny for it.

This has been a hard lesson, but one that I needed to learn.

You keep talking about your husband's salary. Do you have a job? If not, have you considered getting a job to pay the debt rather than going the bankruptcy route? It would be the honorable, adult thing to do. If you have kids, how about a night job or a weekend job? Personally, I'd do all I could to avoid bankruptcy. It seems to me like the bankruptcy court would say "Well…get a job."

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

What does it matter how she got into debt, just curious? In the end, it doesn't matter how you got into debt- as long as you are seeking a way out of it and don't repeat the same mistakes again, yes?

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

Yes, I have a night time job, but it can't make up for a 30K salary loss. We survived awhile with the salary cut, due to help from relatives, but can no longer make it.

Again, it's a hard lesson to learn, but I was so wrong in my line of thinking to just "charge away" and deal with it later. Never again....

 

[kfeuer]

What does it matter how she got into debt, just curious? In the end, it doesn't matter how you got into debt- as long as you are seeking a way out of it and don't repeat the same mistakes again, yes?

I think it matters because you can't change what you don't acknowledge (sorry for the Dr. Phil quote, but it really applies here). Losing half a salary is only part of the equation--being in serious debt without alot of savings (I assume) is the other. To me, it's the difference between blaming someone else vs. taking some responsiblity.

Obsessedwiththemouse, I applaud you for being honest. I think it's safe to say that most people would never have posted about filing bankruptcy in your circumstances. It sounds like you're really going to be turning over a new leaf going forward, and I'm willing to bet your whole family will be the better for it.

 

[3kidzmom]

I, too, aplaud you obsessed ...sometimes it takes that reality check to make real life changes. Its not easy!

 

[abish19]

Obsessed -

I'm so impressed with your honesty. I'd be willing to bet that everyone on this board - even those who are being tough on you - has made mistakes and are fully aware of their faults. I don't know your whole situation but I wish you luck on making good on your debts and never getting any new ones!

Our family follows the Dave Ramsey principles fairly closely. We've never been to WDW on credit cards; we only pay cash. But with budgeting and saving the cost doesn't have to be overwhelming.

Good luck!