ARGH Budget Buster... Being In A Friends Wedding

[Karenj2]

I'm not picking on you, you're just the last person to mention the date change.

The bride moved the wedding LATER (not earlier). If finances weren't a concern for March, why would they be for September? That's an extra 6 months to save the money. I get that the wedding is now close to the time of the vacation, but that doesn't change the amount needed for either event - it is not like only money made X weeks before the event can be spent on the event.

I could be completely wrong, but I think the OP just recently moved to San Antonio from Jax, so when the wedding was originally planned, she would have been a local, and wouldn't have had the hotel/car expenses. (The rest of it would have been the same, though...)

OP, you've gotten some good advice - good luck!

 

[*Seanaci*]

I'm guessing you've been planning your Disney trip for a while. She called you back in Feb to let you know of the date change. Unless everything is already paid for (and you're now having to move your flight/car rental/hotel room to Sept for the wedding) I would kindly bow out.

If your friend understands, it should be a huge issue. If she's not understanding, well, that is her issue. It's unfortunate that they had to change the wedding date.

Good luck!

 

[crashbb]

I could be completely wrong, but I think the OP just recently moved to San Antonio from Jax, so when the wedding was originally planned, she would have been a local, and wouldn't have had the hotel/car expenses. (The rest of it would have been the same, though...)

OP, you've gotten some good advice - good luck!

Good theory, but I had to go look at old posts (curiosity killed the cat - I know). There are posts from last year and she was in Texas then - so the move did not happen between March and now.

 

[seashoreCM]

I would imagine you will also have the expense of a bridal shower, which I have found to be a bigger budget buster than the bachelorette party.

You do not have to take a group to dinner or throw the shower or arrange the bachelorette party or "do" "a chunk" of the wedding. All you need to be is a guest.

It is now too late to back out because the time or place was changed. You would have had to back out almost immediately after you got wind of the change.

 

[POOHsie]

My DD was selected to be a Bridesmaid, then soon after that, her DH got a new job and they moved across the country. She realized at that point, with getting a new job for herself, moving expenses, cost to go to the wedding with hotel and food, time away from new job, etc., that it was way over her financial ability. She bowed out, but sent a nice gift. There weren't any hard feelings.

 

[mhsjax]

I'm not picking on you, you're just the last person to mention the date change.

The bride moved the wedding LATER (not earlier). If finances weren't a concern for March, why would they be for September? That's an extra 6 months to save the money. I get that the wedding is now close to the time of the vacation, but that doesn't change the amount needed for either event - it is not like only money made X weeks before the event can be spent on the event.

WEll color me stupid. I wasn't even thinking that way. I just saw changed the date and with the OP stating not being able to afford it, I didn't even pay attention to the dates. You are right, it is more time to save money.

 

[tinatark]

Airfare is probably the only non-negotiable price you listed. My family is all in Jacksonville, and we travel there frequently.

I get my hotels via priceline - never more than $50/night for a 3* - we've gotten Aloft, Crowne Plaza, Marriott and Hyatt Place.

Rental car - I've used priceline, but Advantage Car Rental is a division of Hertz and has awesome rates - I rented a 2011 Mustang for a day when we were there during Thanksgiving for $25.

It really doesn't have to be as expensive as it seems!

 

[crashbb]

WEll color me stupid. I wasn't even thinking that way. I just saw changed the date and with the OP stating not being able to afford it, I didn't even pay attention to the dates. You are right, it is more time to save money.

I thought maybe I was missing something obvious, since so many people were commenting on the date change being a problem.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would imagine you will also have the expense of a bridal shower, which I have found to be a bigger budget buster than the bachelorette party.

oh yea! As I was reading her list I thought right away of the shower which easily costs over $1000.00. Hopefully the wedding party is REALLY big so it gets divided up among a lot of them!

 

[Trinity524]

OP here. I bought my original ticket for airfare by Priceline NYOP, and got burned there. So while the extra time was wonderful, I was already out of pocket 250.

I have been in TX for six years. So, I am just venting because I imagined this at a different price. Seems like everything changed, even little things such as, you can stay with me to save money and I will pick you up to I am working the day you come in and then the request for us to all stay at the beach. As for the other girls involved to share a room or car, I don't know them and I haven't heard from the matron of honor for the shower or bachlorette party. Luckily I am coming in Thursday and leaving Sunday, even though that is 9/11 (yikes)

Because it's near my Disney trip, I can't take two weeks off from work and my husband can't change his dates off.

While I understand that the costs associated should have been known to me before, I wasn't fully thinking at the time of accepting. I hope this helps someone budget in the future for the out of state weddings.

Frustrating, but if you love someone, you will find a way

 

[tink2dw]

Is the Wedding on the Beach?? If not choose a cheap hotel near the venue.

Ask the Bride to arrange for one of the other brides maids or a friend to pick you up at the airport. She can't leave you stuck at the airport after you have gone to the expense of getting there!! Come on she has to know someone who can pick you up!!!! There needs to be some one to greet you and explain the schedule!!

And ask the bride to query the other brides maids to see if any want to share a room to cut costs. Pack food you can eat, nuts, energy bars, pop tarts and such.

The Dress and shoes should have already been purchased. like your airfare.

If you do need to go to get hair and nails, just get your own nails polished that will cut down on that cost. Check online for coupons for the area for hotels, food, ans salons.

 

[tlbwriter]

Don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry, I can't afford that." The bride wants you all to stay on the beach? Yes, it sounds nice, but you're sorry, you can't afford it. Etc.

 

[sweetsusannah]

I symphatize with the OP here. I know weddings are special but it costs so much to participate. When you are trying to stick to a monthly budget it makes it even harder. My DH, DD, and I were asked to participate in my SIL's wedding. She asked all her siblings and everyone said yes so we felt obligated plus we love her and want to help make her day special. With airfare, dressses/tux, and accomodations it is costing us almost as much as the small wedding my husband and I had ourselves. $2800 so far. Every week we get another email requesting us to be part of a new shower or party. It's tough and we are the only single income family out of my husband's large family so we don't get much in the understanding a limited budget department, they just think we're cheapos.