Are you your family's only planner?

[Corbie]

DH and DD (adult) have pretty much left it all up to me: decision on resort, all entertainment planning (we have a week without Disney before switching over to POR), ADRs, touring plans, which parks on which days, etc.

I've told them I want to at least know three things they want to do at each attraction and have tried to keep their eating preferences in mind.

But it's maddening. This is our first trip, so I'm flying blind. I'd really like some input, but requests have fallen on deaf ears.

It's gotten to the point where I no longer ask. I told them, if you don't like what I've done, it's on you. I asked each of you to help me out with this process."

I can't be the only one who got stuck with everything. Amusingly, it was DH's decision to visit Orlando, not mine. You'd think he'd have more interest in it. I don't think he understands that you cannot "go with the flow" at Disney. I learned that back in 2015 when we had first intended to go. I waited too long to make our ADRs and was shocked restaurants had filled up so quickly. Circumstances prevented us from going back then, but I learned my lesson.

Anyway, how does everyone else handle being the sole planner? What do you do if your plan isn't met with approval once on site?

 

[stobaugh6]

I do all the planning for any vacation we take. I like it that way though. Lol! DH is always happy when we get where we are going and I have everything all planned out. Since we've been to WDW many times now, I already know what he and the kids want to do, so I don't even bother asking anymore. Lol! Our September trip we are staying Poly Club Level. He has no idea. He's super busy with work and our DS's football league, so he literally told me to just plan the trip and he's happy with whatever. He's definitely in for a treat when we get there! Haha!!

 

[Daniela Rose]

I do ALL the planning....for everything. Right down to when everyone sees the doctor and the dentist.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I make it my way or the highway. Doesn't always make the rest of them happy but my rule is that unless they come up with a better alternative on the fly, we're doing my plan or I will do my plan and they can fend for themselves.

I'm with you on the frustration part, though. I try to pick stuff everyone will like, but when their only answer is they are too busy or they will go along with whatever, it's just so maddening.

 

[Monima]

I'm the only planner out of pur family of 4 and was quiet frankly getting frustrated with it the same as you. So here is what I did;
I made plans on what park to visit on what day by using the Walt Disney crowd planners on the web. Then I picked TS restaurants that I knew had something all of us would like and showed them the menu so they could choose a dish. If they didn't like anything on the menu it would spark a conversation on options and so I got their attention and they started realising how much there is to choose from and how difficult this process is.

Did the same with attractions and shows. I put together a plan, showed it to them and T H E N got a reaction, lol.

 

[FigmentFinder]

I do ALL the planning....for everything. Right down to when everyone sees the doctor and the dentist.

^^This. If I don't plan things, they don't get done. I swear if I didn't plan the bathrooms, people would forget to go.


If you have to do all the planning, then nobody gets to complain about it later. I enjoy the planning and take everyone's preferences into consideration. So nothing I plan should make them unhappy, but if they decide they would have rather eaten elsewhere or ridden somewhere else first; I'll remind them they are free to take over planning the next time.

 

[monica9]

I ask DH which resorts he prefers, I book out of those. I plan all the rest from our flight time down to the restaurant and fast pass time to which days are late nights and sleep in mornings.
DH will say he doesn't care and just to tell him the dates he needs off from work.
A week before the vacation DH will ask our itinerary, I will show it to him and he will want to change a few things and I will just laugh.

 

[krysenchips]

Yes! My extended family (parents, 3 sisters, 1 bro-in-law, and 1 niece) went and stayed on property this June. I tried numerous times to get input from everyone to no avail. I eventually just made the plans based on what they had told me and then left them to their own devices. They are all grown they can change any reservations that I made. But before the trip I was so stressed!

 

[Elizabeth Smith]

I am really the main planner of my trip. My brother booked his resort and such on his own, but otherwise it's me and my TA. (Mostly me, tbh.) My husband has never been and doesn't have much input, but he looked at restaurant menus with me and reviews to help me make final decisions. But I had already made up my mind about certain restaurants I wanted to revisit and try. As far as touring plans go, it's all me. I am deciding which attractions we do and when. I am also the one deciding when we eat. I told my brother he gets no input though since he's kind of tagging along, so to speak. He doesn't care, though. He's just happy to be going at all and we have really similar tastes in rides/attractions anyway. I have it pretty easy with my travel partners.

 

[hsmamato2]

Yes- it's always me. And the rule has evolved over the years, if you had no input/didn't help to plan, you get no complaint time on the outcome. I do it all,b/c I care more about the details, the fam just goes along and enjoys whatever happens.

 

[GoBlue21]

I also do all the planning. My family does not get how important this is; they like to "wing it" wherever they go. You simply cannot do that at Disney unless you have all the free time in the world.

 

[Corbie]

I go through moments of extreme frustration (yesterday) to one of those, "You know it's how it's always been" acceptance. The problem is that they're all left with the impression that you can "wing it" because they only see the end result.

My style is to go with the flow, just like them, but I pay enough attention to realize you need to do some preplanning so you can be relaxed later on!

Can I say how disappointed I am no one confessed to grabbing the world's biggest bopper and beating the other people about the head?

 

[bianca]

I'm the only planner and wouldn't have it any other way. Last January I took a trip with my brother and his wife. She wanted to do the planning, but had never been to Disney. Wouldn't listen to a darn thing I had to say. We went primarily with her choices, and it ended up being the last trip I will ever take with them. I learned my lesson. I honestly don't even know why she bothered to plan anything, as we spent ALL of our time looking for smoking stations. We literally sat in the AK smoking section for 3 hours straight. It became comical, but sad.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

Yes I am the planner. I ask for top 5 wishes and go from there. no complaining please!

 

[Wild Roses]

The last time we went was 10 yrs ago, with my parents and Mom didn't want to really plan anything, so we didn't get to do very much at all. This time I am planning out what I can for my husband and two sons.

I've gotten as far as eating. I sent links to my husband for each park for TS and QS and told him to pick an entree from each and order them by preference. Then we've talked about the DDP and have pretty much decided to just pay OOP. It was a trial to get that much. I don't think he realizes how much it took to weed the dining choices down so he only had a handful to go through!

 

[constanze]

I do it all. But I really enjoy it

 

[glassslippergirl]

There's a lot of planning videos on YouTube. If you really want their input, maybe invite everyone going to the trip to dinner one night-- coax them with their favorites-- and while eating, just pop on a video that covers the highlights. WDW puts out an annual planning video that may work, or you could find others that go more in depth (just make sure what ever video you choose is up-to-date; I think even the official 2017 video may be outdated as it won't have Pandora and HEA ). Use the video to spark a discussion, note their reactions ("Oh, that's really cool!), etc. After their interest is piqued, hopefully, lay out your plans to date and ask or suggestions. Offer choices: We could eat here or here. We have an extra park day-- which park would you prefer? Dessert party or camp out for HEA?

I think it's nice that you want their input so that everyone enjoys the trip.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

It would be a stretch to say I do all the planning but 95 percent my mom tweeks based on budget but I have the time and desire to plan

 

[Felicis]

I am the only planner and I love it! This is our first DW trip, but fortunately I am an obsessive planner anyway, so this fits nicely into my comfort zone. (Apparently most people don't cross reference 3 different review sites with google earth when choosing a hotel). DH is perfectly happy with whatever happens - he loves travelling with me as 1. planning is meticulous, 2. everything works out nicely and 3. he gets to have a cool surprise.

DD is helping out a bit with planning this year - she is her mother's daughter! I had already done the ADRs before we revealed to her, but she is loving having a bit of a say. That said, she is 10, her say is more about what she really wants to do, and what she doesn't mind missing.

In all honesty, if someone wasn't happy with the plans once on site, I would hit them in the head with a goose. (Not really, but you know what I mean). If you want something different to what I plan, you speak up - early on - or suck it up.

 

[Yarbogash]

I empathize with everybody who has replied.

I remember going a couple years ago with my brother and sister. I love them both but it was like having 2 extra kids along. They couldn't plan but they sure could complain.

Even short term day of planning was beyond them. At one point I'm out playing at the pool with our son for a long stretch, having fun but it's hot and I'm pretty beat by the time we get back to the room. They've been sitting there doing nothing for hours. When I come in they all turn to me and say 'Have you figured out where we are going for dinner?'
I hit yelp, pick something, we go and afterwards I get the complaining, 'I didn't like that place. Why did you pick that place?'
So now when we travel we either go just us, meaning mom, dad and our kids, or if we are with other people I make a few plans that involve everyone but otherwise I leave the other people to do their own planning. Letting people go their own different ways is sometimes the best plan.