Are manners becoming extinct?

[CdnCarrie]

Many millennials in my area just can’t afford to buy houses.

I hear that is an issue in higher cost cities like Toronto and Vancouver here in Canada.

 

[Disneylover99]

I hear that is an issue in higher cost cities like Toronto and Vancouver here in Canada.

Yep. Incomes just aren’t high enough to qualify for a mortgage, and then it’s hard to scrape together enough for the down payment. You may be able to get a condo under a million, but that’s about it.

The millennials I know who do have a house, have typically been given money from their parents for the down payment. Many continue to live with their parents and try to save.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

All the millennials I know own homes. Why is there some weird North American rumor about them not owning houses. I don’t get it.

Because statistically Millennials have taken a longer time to own a home relative to previous generations before them and before you think this is just a U.S. thing it's not. The U.K. is another such area in which there is a striking housing crisis. IIRC 2023 marks the turn of the tide in terms of number of Millennial homeowners.

Canada is also not immune either.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

What do you mean Millennials can't afford houses....
they live in the house their parents paid for.....

This post is ironic in a thread about manners being extinct.

All the millennials I know own homes. Why is there some weird North American rumor about them not owning houses. I don’t get it.

What age are those millennials? "Millennial" covers people born between 1981-1996 which is a pretty broad range with different experiences.

Those of us on the older end of that range had an opportunity to take advantage of the 2008 housing crisis and buy houses relatively cheap. We also had years of low interest rates that allowed us to get mortgages with lower monthly payments. The younger millennials graduated college 5 years ago though and are probably just now getting to a stage where they can think about buying a house.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

This post is ironic in a thread about manners being extinct.

What age are those millennials? "Millennial" covers people born between 1981-1996 which is a pretty broad range with different experiences.

Those of us on the older end of that range had an opportunity to take advantage of the 2008 housing crisis and buy houses relatively cheap. We also had years of low interest rates that allowed us to get mortgages with lower monthly payments. The younger millennials graduated college 5 years ago though and are probably just now getting to a stage where they can think about buying a house.

Ironic how?

And are you implying that millennials today are somehow prevented from home ownership?

 

[MillauFr]

This post is ironic in a thread about manners being extinct.

I guess I don't get the irony either. Isn't that statement a complement?

 

[Minnesota!]

An example of what is considered manner changing would be the use of first names.

I was raised that all adults were to be called Miss firstname or last name; Mrs. or Mr. Lastname; or Aunt /Uncle Firstname. And by adult, I mean anyone id 20's or older.

I was caught off guard the first time a new neighbor's child asked me my name and I answered Mrs. XXX and he asked me for my first name. His parent explained that they call all the neighbors by tier first names. Okay, whatever. Now it seems that almost all children I know default to first names except maybe the student/teacher relationship.

So, in my generation, calling an adult by the first name would be considered beyond rude but today, it does not seem to be considered poor manners. Now, before everyone jumps in, I must add that this may be a regional thig so maybe not everyone is seeing it but tit is my example of how what we describe as good/bad manners has evolved.

We were raised to NOT call people by ma'am or sir or Mrs/Mr or Aunt/Uncle, that it was, for lack of a better word on a sleepy Monday, patronizing. You used their first name. It all still gives me the willies when I get called any of those things. I will correct someone and tell them to use my first name (unless it is a brief interaction at a store where I am called ma'am. Then I just shiver and then cry )

My kids and their friends all have good manners...pleases, thank yous, holding doors, etc.

What I do think has changed among teens is this: they are bored.

When I was a teen we had so many things to do - go to the mall, movies, teen "night clubs," etc. Now the malls are mostly empty, no one really goes to the movies because you can stream everything, and we don't have any teen clubs/hangouts around here. Add to that social media/phone use and it's a recipe for disaster. As a result I've seen lots of teens causing trouble in our small town.

It reminds me of the movie Over the Edge.

THIS! I just read an article this week about how kids growing up these days have the lack of a 3rd space. They have home, they have school.

We had home, school, friends houses, malls, skate parks, roller skating rinks, tons of teen clubs and movie theatres, places like Chuck E Cheese, etc., events, etc. We had a place to go be kids, see other behavior modeled, etc.

Now, we have kids who come from a stressed out house, to a school with lockdown drills, and then back home to play some video games and get dinner thrown at them by parents who have to work 14 hour days to pay the mortgage.

There isn't that downtime, that 3rd space, to just be a kid like there was for us.

both but i'm remembering the standalone.

one of my fondest memories of how i was addressed is by a little girl who attended school with my kiddos when they were young. she always called me 'mrs. (insert my son's first name)'s mom'

Why did I always assume you were a Mr.? Also, I got called "my sons name mom" a lot, cuz nobody could ever remember my name, ha! Even as 20 years, his besties call me that at times.

I believe I suffer from dysphonia and can’t stand the sounds of eating. Trust me, my kids close their mouths, and even doing so I can’t be in the room with cereal eaters. If I slurp something I offend myself. My dad required perfect table manners (yes, we couldn’t butter the whole roll at once). I once got the hiccups and was made to ask to be excused (my kids always asked, and even now as young adults thank me for dinner).

SAMMMMMMMME! DH and I both. Which is why we all eat at various places in the house these days, and at various times. I cannnnnnot listen to people eating. Soup, sandwich, I don't care. I cannot stand it.

To the topic at hand - the "kids with no manners" are being raised by the people complaining they have no manners. So....do better on your end then, parents. I have not run into these unicorn kids with no manners.

And, yes, I cannot stand when a man makes a production of holding the door. Even my husband. I make him go first into each establishment because it just seems fake and patronizing to me.

Bah, humbug

 

[Moliphino]

Ironic how?

And are you implying that millennials today are somehow prevented from home ownership?

The combination of student loans, the economy and stagnant wages, and the housing market when millennials entered it that have kept many from home ownership. Gen Z is looking to have a rough go of it, too.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Ironic how?

I guess I don't get the irony either. Isn't that statement a complement?

i guess it could be read 2 ways:
1. Anyone in that group that has a house had it purchased by their parents.
2. Everyone in that group is living with their parents.

Both seemed mildly insulting to me.

And are you implying that millennials today are somehow prevented from home ownership?

I’m stating that it is much more difficult today than it was for those of us that graduated 15 years ago. College costs are higher so people graduate with more debt, houses are much more expensive, and now interest rates are significantly higher.

If I bought the same house today that I bought in 2017 the mortgage would be double.

 

[Kennywood]

It's a little disappointing to see so many women that have a negative reaction to a simple gesture as holding open a door. I'd hate to think how you'd react to a man opening the car door for you.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

The combination of student loans, the economy and stagnant wages, and the housing market when millennials entered it that have kept many from home ownership. Gen Z is looking to have a rough go of it, too.

Seems like bad personal choices.

Up until COVID money was free, and houses were cheap.

My house didn’t recover from the 2006 market down turn until 2017….

Although I agree, with current interest rate buying a house now is just a dumb idea….

Something needs to change,

 

[luv2cheer92]

Seems like bad personal choices.

Up until COVID money was free, and houses were cheap.

My house didn’t recover from the 2006 market down turn until 2017….

Although I agree, with current interest rate buying a house now is just a dumb idea….

Something needs to change,

So when you were born and old enough to buy a house are bad personal choices, got it.

I'm thankful I bought my current house with an interest rate of 2.5, but I didn't get a dime from anybody but myself for the down payment.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Seems like bad personal choices.

Up until COVID money was free, and houses were cheap.

My house didn’t recover from the 2006 market down turn until 2017….

Although I agree, with current interest rate buying a house now is just a dumb idea….

Something needs to change,

It's been a seller's market in my metro since 2015 and no houses weren't cheap as it transitioned from a buyer's market to a seller's market it's just even more insane now but it's not like homes were super super accessible pre-covid.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

So when you were born and old enough to buy a house are bad personal choices, got it.

I'm thankful I bought my current house with an interest rate of 2.5, but I didn't get a dime from anybody but myself for the down payment.

Not, at all!

But having student loans for a degree that doesn’t provide you with a viable career path are …

Voting is also a personal choice …..
And voting does directly effect the economy

So I would say yes, personal choices

 

[Disneylover99]

Up until COVID money was free, and houses were cheap.

Maybe in your area, but certainly not everywhere.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The combination of student loans, the economy and stagnant wages, and the housing market when millennials entered it that have kept many from home ownership. Gen Z is looking to have a rough go of it, too.

And wealth building. It's been very difficult for Millennials to build wealth (generally needed to compete in the housing market). Being repeatedly interrupted in doing so impacts things (from 9/11, to the Recession to the pandemic). I know you and I are close in age and we have shared experiences living through some of these struggles. We know how the job market was when we graduated college (and it was not about what degree you had).

I do know some of people around my age who own homes but they generally have dual high incomes some with lower overall incomes own homes in generally unsafe areas. Most however do live in homes but are renting those homes. Some live in apartments or similar type housing.

 

[gmi3804]

Although I agree, with current interest rate buying a house now is just a dumb idea….

What, then, would you consider the cut-off point for mortgage interest rates at which buying a house is a good idea? Rates were upwards of 20% in the 80s, and plenty of homes were still being sold then.

 

[Robbie Cottam]

Maybe in your area, but certainly not everywhere.

Interest rates are nation wide.

And I live in a fairly high cost of living area

 

[barkley]

My house didn’t recover from the 2006 market down turn until 2017….

the house we sold in '06 did'nt recover to that sales price until mid 2021

I'm thankful I bought my current house with an interest rate of 2.5, but I didn't get a dime from anybody but myself for the down payment.

that's a phenominal rate. when we bought our first home (also no help with a down payment) we were paying 11%

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

And, yes, I cannot stand when a man makes a production of holding the door. Even my husband. I make him go first into each establishment because it just seems fake and patronizing to me.

We just do it based by who got there first. Sometimes that's my husband, sometimes that's me. Holding doors open for strangers follows the same although the scenario dictates if I'm actually holding the door and letting others pass us or if I'm just opening the door for them but they are still coming in behind me.