Are all teenagers like this?

[Patio]

My DD is 14, in 9th grade, and hangs around in a group of about 7 or 8 girls. It seems that every day there is someone in the group that is mad at someone else. My DD very rarely gets mad at anyone or has anyone mad at her, but, it creates tension in school, at lunch, or if they all go out together on the weekend. It seems like every day that she'll say that so and so is mad at so and so. Or if my DD says someone is mad at her, the next day they're best friends again. I only had a few close friends in school and we never argued ( I'm still friends with these girls ), so I don't really know what advice to give my daughter. Of course, I like all these girls and they are all nice kids, but, I just want to know if this is how all teenagers act?

 

[Sonya]

Yep.

 

[Flyfly_Eclipse]

girls getting upset at each other is very typically for that age, I'm 16 and have gone through it during my teen years. However, I must applaud your daughter's group for becoming friends again. Most girls are torn forever...I've lost a few best friends from these "fights" most which started over nothing...like typing in capslock on an AIM.

However, through the years in highschool, the fighting shouldn't occur as often. I personally haven't dealt with this in a year or two...though I'm still not friends with my former best friends.

 

[Pooh67_68]

Thats why I always liked to be a loner when I was in school.
I had friends that I would talk with, but I would never hang out with anyone. Just being there to listen to your daugther is a good thing.

 

[Melora]

Ive got one that just turned 15 last week.... and YES thats exactly what they are like!

 

[monarchsfan16]

Unfortunately, yes most are like this. I've been blessed with great friends the past few years, but through junior high I endured that, among other things. Now I have one extremely close friend, and many other friends. Eventually people do grow out of that, but it takes awhile, and some girls are always like that. I know girls that still can't go a day without constantly backstabbing their "best friends". It's really tough to get through all of it; it does create a lot of tension. But it gets better around 15, 16, so hopefully it will all end soon.

 

[HLFDZN]

I myself was not like that, but I hung with a group of very unique people. My friends accepted us for what we were.. and I am still friend with most of these people 25 yrs later. HOWEVER.......My 13 yr old daughter is WICKED!!!!! I hear her on the phone gossipping and he said/she said crap and hating friends that she loves the next day. I generally stay out of her bickering. I try to not get invloved unless there is bodily harm done. There never have been real fist fights. Most of the fights disolve after a day or so. I also try not to form any opinions based on what she says. I would hate to say something nasty about one of her friends and then have this friend show up all happy and nice and I feel bad for feeling negative about one of her friends. Sorry to ramble on. It gets worse I hear. I can't say, my daughter is only 13. Fun fun fun!!!!! Melissa

 

[bumcat]

yep and that is why I loved hanging around the boys more often than the girls.

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by bumcat
yep and that is why I loved hanging around the boys more often than the girls.

My oldest did/does too.

 

[mickey65]

The girls in my grade 6 class are like this. One day they are fighting and hate each other and the next day they are best friends again.

 

[CBRorBust]

Yup! That's why I don't trust most females! They have a whole other side to them!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

This makes me so glad I'm having a boy and not a girl. I hung out with mostly guys in HS, so I can't say I've been through this.

Good luck with your DD in this situation though.

TOV

 

[Patio]

Thanks so much for all of your replies!!

HLFDZN- I handle it the same exact way as you do and I'm thankful my daughter trusts me enough to confide in me. I just feel bad because I know these years can be so hard for them.

 

[nsyncraider17]

Yep.

I'm a junior in high school and I have a group of about 6 or 7 friends who are very stereotypical teenage girls. We've been friends since elementary and middle school, so our friendship is pretty solid, but a few people in particular are complete drama queens. Over the past year or so, one of my best friends and I feel like we've kind of matured a little more than the others, and we've all started hanging out with other people, but our "group" still remains close. For us, I guess the arguing/gossiping isn't always a bad thing, it's just something that happens. We're all close enough friends that we know there are things we don't like about each other, but we like each other anyway.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Well I had 7 12 year olds in my basement all last night and things seemed to go OK. But since I teach HS I hear all kinds of stuff and what you describe is normal. I know I have one 10th grader 6th period who seems very nice but is always gossiping or backstabbing someone else. I know my two best friends from childhood, who I still EMail, stayed close in HS but we almost never hung around--we ran with totally different groups, one with more of a drug crowd and me with the drama club , but I only keep in touch with one of those people. Now that we're older and wiser it's back to my original two best buds.
Robin M.

 

[grinningghost]

Are you sure you aren't talking about MY daughter? She is 14, in 9th grade, hangs out with a group of about 7 or 8 girls, and there's always someone mad at someone, and it usually only lasts a day or two. I've learned to let it roll off my back when she goes on a rant about these things, because I know it all gets settled on it's own, and usually quickly. I find that she tells me someone is mad at her, and by evening she's asking me if she can go over that girl's house. I'll say "I thought she was mad at you?" and she says "No she's not". OK - just 5 hours earlier you were bitter enemies.

I think it's a universal 9th grade phenomenon.

 

[disneyangel7488]

I'm a sophomore in high school, and I actually have two different groups of friends. I have my Catholic HS friends and my friends from my former public school years. I must say I have never gotten into any fights like this with any one of my friends, although there are a few childhood best friends who I don't talk to anymore. Usually I get along with all my friends, but I always hear stories from other people (the "popular" crowd). It seems to me that they are always talking about someone behind their back or they're backstabbing a friend, and I don't think it's right. I am so glad that my friends aren't like that.

 

[nativetxn]

I had no daughters so I have no experience with this from that standpoint.

My memory of that age, though...that's exactly what it was like. I'm not telling how many decades ago that was though