ATTENTION
(town name) Department of Sanitation (WDS)
DO NOT OPEN THIS LOCKER
By the authority of the (town name) Department of Sanitation in affiliation with the United States Department of Health, this locker is hereby declared UNFIT FOR OCCUPATION. A rare but extremely dangerous bacteria has been found within the confines of this locker. This bacteria, Hypergrotharodosis, is transmitted by RODENTS, and has been found abundantly within this locker. As such, this locker is NOT TO BE OPENED, with risk of contaminating the entire school with a potentially LETHAL virus. All contents of this locker have been declared safety hazards and are now property of the United States Government. Some items may be returned after complete sterilization, a process which will take up to a month considering the potency of the bacteria and the intensity with which it clings to surfaces. If you were occupying this locker, IMMEDIATELY burn all items, including clothing, which may have touched any part of this locker or touched anything that has been in its confines. A sanitation team will take further precautions regarding the proper disposal and destroying of this locker in the near future.
Department of Sanitation
Bacteria Regulation Committee
Notice: by order of the department of sanitation, it is required that you be informed as follows: April fools.