appropriate? statement from MS Health teacher..

[mudnuri]

DD10 5th grade is doing a 'map of my life' project in health. She has to pick 12 important events in her life and map them out in order.

On the instruction paper- it has "IDEAS" for them to use, like happy events on top, sad events on bottom- 1 of them caught my attention it says-

"for divorce, you could draw a stick figure with a lighting bolt going through it"

now, some of you know how hard my X and I try to keep this as easy for our DD's as we can- we communicate etc... we spent 18 months in counseling together and seperate to make this transition as smooth as possible for all of us involved.

I have a HUGE problem with this idea. A lightning bolt going through showing a divorce is NOT okay with me, DD10 wanted to know if that meant that divorce kills you- since thats what the bolt of lightning would do....I tried to explain what i THINK this teacher is trying to say...but it irks me to no end.

I'm heading into the school tomorrow to have a discussion with the principal!

Thoughts?

Brandy

 

[Anewman]

"for divorce, you could draw a stick figure with a lighting bolt going through it"

Key word "could", as in not the same thing as "must". Feel free to show her another symbol that you do find acceptable.

 

[freckles and boo]

Please consider discussing it with the teacher first. It shows a complete lack of trust in your child's teacher if you go over his or her head without trying to resolve it directly. Everyone does things that are perceived as insensitive on occasion and a gentle reminder is usually the most effective way to help people understand.

 

[Disney4Drew]

Key word "could", as in not the same thing as "must". Feel free to show her another symbol that you do find acceptable.

Exactly what I was going to say....

 

[DawnCt1]

For a lot of children, certainly not all, divorce is a major traumatic event for them. I could see how she would suggest that that might be an appropriate symbol for some children.

 

[LuvDuke]

DD10 5th grade is doing a 'map of my life' project in health. She has to pick 12 important events in her life and map them out in order.

On the instruction paper- it has "IDEAS" for them to use, like happy events on top, sad events on bottom- 1 of them caught my attention it says-

"for divorce, you could draw a stick figure with a lighting bolt going through it"

now, some of you know how hard my X and I try to keep this as easy for our DD's as we can- we communicate etc... we spent 18 months in counseling together and seperate to make this transition as smooth as possible for all of us involved.

I have a HUGE problem with this idea. A lightning bolt going through showing a divorce is NOT okay with me, DD10 wanted to know if that meant that divorce kills you- since thats what the bolt of lightning would do....I tried to explain what i THINK this teacher is trying to say...but it irks me to no end.

I'm heading into the school tomorrow to have a discussion with the principal!

Thoughts?

Brandy

I'm speechless! All I can say is, whatever you do tomorrow, make it memorable.

 

[TJ's Mom]

First of all, it was probably not the best call by the teacher. However, I am guessing he did not mean it to be hurtful. I would talk to the teacher first instead of going to the principal and explain your concerns to him.

 

[ilovejack02]

Please consider discussing it with the teacher first. It shows a complete lack of trust in your child's teacher if you go over his or her head without trying to resolve it directly. Everyone does things that are perceived as insensitive on occasion and a gentle reminder is usually the most effective way to help people understand.

I agree please speak to teacher first. Maybe its not that divorce kills you, but maybe that it feels like a lighting bolt when someone first hears parents are divorcing? Dont know what the teacher meant until you ask the teacher.

 

[Hannathy]

personally I think you are over reacting going to the principal. And IMO no matter how much counseling you get you are kidding yourself if you don't think a divorce is a major shock or disruption in a child's life which is what the teacher is trying to convey.

 

[Tiggeroo]

for most kids this is appropriate. You can make it as smooth and open as possible but it's still a huge loss. Go to the teacher first. Talk to your dd and help her to see that we don't always agree with our teachers so we find ways to work it out.

 

[Vibranium]

For a lot of children, certainly not all, divorce is a major traumatic event for them. I could see how she would suggest that that might be an appropriate symbol for some children.

It is traumatic to immature children who don't yet understand that having divorced parents is far less traumatic them living in a home where your two parents hate each other and don't stop arguing. Life is not all roses and divorce is a fact of life. The teacher really dropped the ball on this one by equating divorce with being struck by a lightening bolt.

 

[lulugirl]

I think you are over reacting by going to the principal.
I really don't see what the big deal is. If your Dd doesn't like the teachers suggestion, she doesn't have to use it for her project.
What do you hope to gain by going to the principal w/ this? Perhaps other students/parents like the idea and think a lightening bolt is an apt description of divorce.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Please consider discussing it with the teacher first. It shows a complete lack of trust in your child's teacher if you go over his or her head without trying to resolve it directly. Everyone does things that are perceived as insensitive on occasion and a gentle reminder is usually the most effective way to help people understand.

ITA!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

It is traumatic to immature children who don't yet understand that having divorced parents is far less traumatic them living in a home where your two parents hate each other and don't stop arguing. Life is not all roses and divorce is a fact of life. The teacher really dropped the ball on this one by equating divorce with being struck by a lightening bolt.

Divorce is a VERY tramatic thing for a child to go through. Raising my stepson since he was 5 and now is 17.5 I can see how a someone would relate divorce to a lightening bolt.

 

[CheshireVal]

It is traumatic to immature children who don't yet understand that having divorced parents is far less traumatic them living in a home where your two parents hate each other and don't stop arguing. Life is not all roses and divorce is a fact of life. The teacher really dropped the ball on this one by equating divorce with being struck by a lightening bolt.

I'm sorry, but that sounds rather callous. I don't care how much your parents fought, I'd argue that divorce is always traumatic for children. I can think of a few rare exceptions, but those are exceptions, not the norm.

OP, I wouldn't overreact about this. Talking to the teacher would be a far better approach than marching straight into the principal's office. The principal isn't going to take your complaint seriously. He/she is far too busy with more important matters.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

A lightening bolt in the world of Pictorial Communication is commonly used to signify "Big Change." For instance, in my son's Preschool Class they use a Picture Schedule Board that shows the progression of the day

Arrival Time
Choice Play Time
Circle Time

etc etc which each slot having the Pictures which relate to that time.

On Field Trip Day, the teacher places a Lightening Bolt in the time slot where they kids will be leaving, to show that today will be different.

As easy as you might have tried to make it for your children, I imagine it was a big change for them. So I think it is quite appropriate.

 

[ilovejack02]

A lightening bolt in the world of Pictorial Communication is commonly used to signify "Big Change." For instance, in my son's Preschool Class they use a Picture Schedule Board that shows the progression of the day

Arrival Time
Choice Play Time
Circle Time

etc etc which each slot having the Pictures which relate to that time.

On Field Trip Day, the teacher places a Lightening Bolt in the time slot where they kids will be leaving, to show that today will be different.

As easy as you might have tried to make it for your children, I imagine it was a big change for them. So I think it is quite appropriate.

That is so neat! I never knew that, thanks for the lesson. Learn something new everyday.

 

[Anewman]

I just realized that the lightning bolt does not represent getting hit by a bolt, it is used to simulate breaking in half.

Kinda like a broken heart, you draw a hart with a bolt of lightning through it to simulate two halves.

example

 

[WilmaBud]

Sorry, I don't don't think the teacher did anything wrong. I doubt the principal would see it as a big deal either.

 

[gradtchr]

I'm sorry you were offended but I don't see what is really wrong except going over the teacher to complain to the principal. The first thing I would do would be to talk to the teacher. Now if this is an ongoing problem then yes talk to the principal but if it was a one time thing I would definitely talk to the teacher first.