Appropriate Facebook topics

[SC Minnie]

My mother and my pastor are my friends on facebook. So, if I wouldn't say it in front of them I don't put it on FB.

 

[onelilspark]

For me, if it is something that I would not want my grandmother to read or see, then it doesn't get posted. I don't need that sort of information forever on the internet.

I compare FB to what I tell my students on the first day of school, if you can't say it in front of your grandma at church on Sunday, then you don't need to say it here.

Yes, this. I totally go by that rule of thumb. If I wouldn't say it to my grandmother, I shouldn't put it on FB. I was in college when FB started. By my senior year, it had really taken off and employers looked at it, etc. I was Gracious Living Chair of my sorority and every month or so I needed to remind everyone that anyone can access information and to make sure that if you don't want a future employer or your Grandmother to see it, don't post it!

Facebook status updates should be things that you'd share with friends and family. One of the big problems in our society, that Facebook helps address, I believe, is social isolation stemming from urbanization and perhaps even industrialization.

The problem, I suspect, is that some folks may either not be aware of, or be too casual in their use of, the privacy control for each status update.

I have my connections divided up into a number of groups, and actually have my default privacy set to four or five of these groups. Only people in these groups will see the message, and generally, I click on the padlock and delete one or more of the groups each time, often just leaving the one group of people who should see that specific message. The reason why I do it this way is a lot easier to have them all there by default and delete the ones that need not see the message, rather than to not have a default set of groups and then add the ones that should see the message. It is a matter of number of clicks, and more importantly a matter of the relative reliability/flakiness of the Facebook interface.

One warning, if you choose to use this approach: You should ensure that the default set of groups you set contains all your connections. I have one group which is, essentially, "other". While you could just switch the privacy of a message to "All Friends" very easily, if you use the default set of groups approach for your status update privacy, then only people in at least one of those groups are allowed to post messages to you. (Of course, this tidbit might be useful in the other direction: If you have someone you want to remain a friend, but you want to prevent them from posting to your wall, this is the way to do it. This is different from blocking them from your wall. If you block them, your friends can still see what they posted to your wall, even if you don't. With the default set of groups approach, they get an error trying to post to your wall.)

Rather, if you wouldn't post it on a billboard, don't post it to "Everyone". "Everyone" is just one of the options.

In a broader sense, and going back to what I was saying at the start of this reply, I find that people tend to share too little of their lives with friends as opposed to too much. It was different when we all forged friendships as children and then lived the rest of our lives within five miles of those childhood friends. That's not the way the world is anymore. Facebook is a great way of recapturing some of what we've lost to progress, i.e., what we've lost due to our ability to travel far and wide, and the tendency for us to live our lives much further from where we were born than hundreds of years ago, when many of our society memes were established.

This too. I have about 6 different groups. I control who sees what, but still am cautious about what I post anyway.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I find a lot of people don't seem to realize that what they post can be found pretty much by ANYONE.

I assume this happens when you don't have your privacy settings set up that only friends can see your status...

 

[paintnolish]

I usually post random, stupid comments, like how my reusable shopping bags were stolen at Target yesterday! I haven't sen too many TMI posts, but the passive aggressive comments bug me. You know, the ones you just know are aimed at someone, like: Some people just need to learn to shut their mouthes.

 

[pigletgirl]

I have a friend who got married last summer ('09) and she posted a couple of days after they got back from their honeymoon about how raunchy and intense their nights were.

Uh, we all knew what was going to happen! You don't need to post that! Remember there are people on there who would find that highly offensive.

Some people need a quick lesson in facebook etiquette.

 

[ajk912]

So, just to be sure we have it straight, we can talk about the weather and...well, that's about it....because we might offend someone. Sheesh. I talk about whatever I would like to say on MY PAGE, people can feel free to hide me or unfriend me if they would like. Facebook is a social networking tool, if you don't like the way I use the site, no big deal. But I am not going to change the way I use the site because someone else doesn't like it.

 

[ilovejack02]

So, just to be sure we have it straight, we can talk about the weather and...well, that's about it....because we might offend someone. Sheesh. I talk about whatever I would like to say on MY PAGE, people can feel free to hide me or unfriend me if they would like. Facebook is a social networking tool, if you don't like the way I use the site, no big deal. But I am not going to change the way I use the site because someone else doesn't like it.

I think this thread is more about when people share a bit to much info , such as their husband is the world's biggest jackoff because he doesn't put his underwear in the hamper or that they had rock and roll sex with 15 strangers on Wed night. People need to realize that they look like complete idiots when posting this type of information.
If folks don't mind looking like fools by all means hop on it and post everything! Some of us will laugh our behinds off and forward crazy status updates to others to get a giggle and others like you suggest, will just delete offending parties.

 

[SaraJayne]

I think this thread is more about when people share a bit to much info , such as their husband is the world's biggest jackoff because he doesn't put his underwear in the hamper or that they had rock and roll sex with 15 strangers on Wed night. People need to realize that they look like complete idiots when posting this type of information.
If folks don't mind looking like fools by all means hop on it and post everything! Some of us will laugh our behinds off and forward crazy status updates to others to get a giggle and others like you suggest, will just delete offending parties.

People (adults?) really forward status updates??

 

[BoogasMom]

I think a lot of people simply post TMI updates for the shock value of it. They like to see everyone else's responses is all. I've had to block a few people I am friends with for that very reason....every post is TMI.... one minute and the next!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

People (adults?) really forward status updates??

I have had one or two that have been forwarded to me, so yes people occasionally do and that is a good reason to watch what you post.

 

[ilovejack02]

I think a lot of people simply post TMI updates for the shock value of it. They like to see everyone else's responses is all. I've had to block a few people I am friends with for that very reason....every post is TMI.... one minute and the next!!!

I have hidden a few due to crazy political posts or vulgar language.
My oldest is 21 and I don't have any of his friends on my page because of the some of the things they post .

 

[We_Love_Disney]

I assume this happens when you don't have your privacy settings set up that only friends can see your status...

Not necessarily. Say your private with only friends able to see. You put your status as "ABCDEF.." A friend comments on your status. If someone else is friends with your friend, he can see that you commented and can in some cases read your status.

If you are tagged in a photo, you can and will be found through a search engine.

On the internet, there is no such thing as private!

 

[bicker]

Reading some of this I have to chuckle... "Let's not have the rarity of this kind of status update interfere with our criticisms of Facebook status updates in their entirety."

 

[ajk912]

I wonder if it's an age thing, because I am in my 30s and not much phases me...and I see from what my high school friends and my friends post, that we are all a pretty laid back group. Venting about husbands and socks, pregnancy whining, people who can't park, kid drama,etc, we've seen it all. After reading this thread I am thinking that I should make a folder and put anyone over X age in it, and that way when I post anything non-weather related I better hide them. Because most people my age and younger who use this site that I know of, they use it to talk about life & what's on their minds at the moment, they aren't really second guessing themselves wondering if people are making fun fo them behind their backs.

 

[bicker]

I do think age makes a difference, though not precisely. I think a lot of it comes down to have comfortable you are with the progression of our society.

Take electronic bill-paying. I know some sixty year olds who are very comfortable with it (probably because they've kept up-to-date with, and/or otherwise have gotten comfortable with, technology) and I know at least one thirty year old who isn't (and it is very clear that that's because of a personal animosity toward technology).

I used to use ATMs as an example, but it no longer works well - but because it doesn't work well as an analogy, anymore, it effectively demonstrates how time changes these things. They used to be these devil machines, that only a few people preferred over the alternative. Now most people cannot even remember how they and others held such antipathy for ATMs.

 

[ilovejack02]

I wonder if it's an age thing, because I am in my 30s and not much phases me...and I see from what my high school friends and my friends post, that we are all a pretty laid back group. Venting about husbands and socks, pregnancy whining, people who can't park, kid drama,etc, we've seen it all. After reading this thread I am thinking that I should make a folder and put anyone over X age in it, and that way when I post anything non-weather related I better hide them. Because most people my age and younger who use this site that I know of, they use it to talk about life & what's on their minds at the moment, they aren't really second guessing themselves wondering if people are making fun fo them behind their backs.

Majority of my f.b. is mid to late 30's , most of that group discusses same things you and your friends do but in a general manner or lightly joking and complaining about hubby's and kids. I can handle a bit of vulgar language and sex stuff but I don't want to see it all the time, nor do I want or need to constantly read about major issues in someone's divorce or custody. Some things really need to be kept private.
There are just a few on my F.B.that really throw their life out there for all the world to see and talk about very personal marriage issues or as I said in earlier baby daddy drama etc and I have one or two that will post the weekend party pics when they prob. shouldn't . I always wonder what their parents think of it , because lots of us have our parents on our page. I can't imagine Mom loving seeing their kiddos even in their 30's getting tipsy at the local pub. Maybe they should block her from seeing it lol.

 

[Sparx]

I think age comes into it but apparently not in the way that others do. I've had to hide/delete several OLDER family memebers/friends of family due to outrageous religious and political posts. That's ALL they talked about. Now the younger members of my facebook, not so much.

 

[SaraJayne]

Not necessarily. Say your private with only friends able to see. You put your status as "ABCDEF.." A friend comments on your status. If someone else is friends with your friend, he can see that you commented and can in some cases read your status.

If you are tagged in a photo, you can and will be found through a search engine.

On the internet, there is no such thing as private!

That is incorrect. It will show "SaraJayne commented on We love Disney's status"...but if you are not friends with We Love Disney, you won't be able to see the status update.

ETA: Only if that person has their privacy settings set to "friends only". If they don't, anyone can read them, regardless of whether they are friends or not.

There is so much misinformation about Facebook floating around and that is why it gets such a bad rap.

 

[ilovejack02]

I think age comes into it but apparently not in the way that others do. I've had to hide/delete several OLDER family memebers/friends of family due to outrageous religious and political posts. That's ALL they talked about. Now the younger members of my facebook, not so much.

I forgot all about that , hubby dropped a few of his Aunts off of his page because of this , I never added them. My brother is 65 ish retired Navy, he goes off on political rants too, I love him, but hid him a year or so ago lol.

Speaking of inappropriate ; ), I had to ask my mom to keep posting on my facebook about how I am the prettiest, sweetest best daughter, greatest mother etc etc in the whole entire world and using my nickname which is Jenny beans . She would embarrass the fire out of me , which I think she enjoyed LOL and now I get called beans by my friends.

 

[cat83]

Not necessarily. Say your private with only friends able to see. You put your status as "ABCDEF.." A friend comments on your status. If someone else is friends with your friend, he can see that you commented and can in some cases read your status

I have wondered this as well. I am extremely familiar with FB and different privacy levels..but I've noticed increased instances recently where my home page will show friends commenting on other statuses (of people who are not my friends).

I experimented a few times- and found that if I click on the other, non-friend's status, I can still see that status- but not their wall. Which leads me to think that they are set to friends only, but I can still see that status on which my friend commented! (Lost yet? ha!).
That doesn't make me happy, and is something that needs to change...if it is a fluke or loophole it needs to be fixed.