Appropriate Facebook topics

[Mommee]

Am I the only one that feels Facebook status updates should ONLY be things you'd willingly tell a crowd of 150 people that know you? If I wouldn't post it on a billboard, I don't post it.

OTOH, I have just read that my brother-in-law's girlfriend is not happy with her, umm, intimate (or lack of) relationship with my brother-in-law.
I posted something like "aack! TMI!" and she responded with LOL

I think DH should call his brother and let him know. DH says it's none of his business. Well, you know, it wasn't any of my business, either, but somehow it showed up in my living room I really care about BIL
...and really hate the thought of all these people making jokes about such a private thing.

 

[KimR]

The things I have read on facebook pages are unbelievable - and with no privacy settings either. I guess some people just don't care, but you would think they would be a little more respectful of others' privacy.

 

[M&N]

People will be sorry when they get into trouble for putting certain things out there...especially if they loose their job!

 

[Mommee]

The things I have read on facebook pages are unbelievable - and with no privacy settings either. I guess some people just don't care, but you would think they would be a little more respectful of others' privacy.

Maybe that's what bothers me the most (outside of the mental images..ugh). She should care that BIL would be horrified to know she posted this.

 

[Rora]

OP-- I feel your pain.. I've read some very disturbing status updates that make me go "ACK!! TMI!". I don't get why people post stuff that is so incredibly personal. My MIL is the worst... yuck yuck yuck.

 

[LilyWDW]

I find a lot of people don't seem to realize that what they post can be found pretty much by ANYONE. They have a false sense of privacy and security on sites like Facebook. It's as if they believe their Facebook is a private place for them to post whatever they want and there will be no repercussions.

For me, if it is something that I would not want my grandmother to read or see, then it doesn't get posted. I don't need that sort of information forever on the internet.

 

[hellokitty86]

Today one of my friends on Facebook posted a picture that she found (I have no idea where) of a man's private area, and it had severe burns (very graphic) and she said "This is what happens when you are caught cheating LOL"

I wish there was a way to report photos, I'm sure there is but I'm not sure how to. In the meantime I hid her because it was making me feel sick to keep seeing it everytime I looked at the news feed.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

A guy I know from high school likes to post TMI all the time. One time he said he had just taken a shower and was in bed waiting for his girlfriend to come home from work. She posted back that she couldn't wait to get home with lots of little huggy kissy symbols. It made me want to barf!

 

[DisneyFirefly]

I rarely even use my Facebook anymore, but no, you're not the only one. I used to have my dad added on there before I removed him, and I still have my old youth pastor on there (even though I'm no longer religious). If I'm thinking something I don't want them to see, I don't post it. Either way, my Facebook is locked down to be viewed by "friends only", but I know fully well that some people are weird and will do screencaps or view source to post elsewhere. I just don't really like Facebook, though. I'm not sure why. I mainly use it so that I know if I need to get a hold of someone from high school or my CP, I can.

 

[LuvOrlando]

FB is sort of like a water cooler and is fine for sharing niceties such as vacation plans or outings, stuff like that. It can be very helpful in case of an illness because I was able to update on my DD's well being while she was in the hospital in November even though I didn't want to actually speak with anyone. But anything negative just doesn't work. Even if the upset is warranted 90% of the people who read the feed have zero understanding of the circumstances surrounding the stress so the page owner just ends up looking like a flake or vengeful, or both. My take on exhibitionists is that they are just needy and sad.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I agree that she should not be posting that on facebook. I think it is fine that you responded with the TMI comment. If she often posts such things I also think it would be fine to unfriend her and just nicely let her know that it was bothering you to know so much about her and your DBiL's private lives.
I do NOT think you (or your husband) should involve yourselves in it by calling her husband and telling him what she posts. That seems very juvenile to me and more like rumor spreading than anything. It really ISN'T your business (which is why you don't like seeing it on facebook to begin with).

 

[Katie Dawn]

Today one of my friends on Facebook posted a picture of a man's private area...
I wish there was a way to report photos

There is. Underneath the right hand side of the photo there are buttons that say "Share, Tag This Photo, and Report." Click Report... that definitely falls within the category of photos that FB wants to know about (and I assume remove.)

just nicely let her know that it was bothering you to know so much about her and your DBiL's privates lives.

And, okay, I know this was probably a typo... but I couldn't resist. It is very accurate to say that the OP does not want to know so much about the lives of their privates.

OP, I agree with what you're saying. Hopefully someone will come along behind the two comments the two of you posted and say, "No, seriously, that is way too much information." I've seen that happen a few times and hopefully, if they have any social skills, it will get the message across. (You could also post the above comment yourself if you'd like... I think that would DEFINITELY get the point across) If that doesn't work I would probably just unfriend her too.

I do agree with the PP... while FB has its downsides, when used appropriately it can be a wonderful tool for getting information out there about major things going on in people's lives. You just gotta weed out those who won't play by the rules!

 

[wilma-bride]

I must admit, as much as I love FB, this is one of the things that bothers me. It is not just the TMI status updates but, in the case of my teenage girls, it really annoys me when I read on their status updates about how hard done by they are (my youngest DD, 16, was recently grounded for something pretty serious but spent the next week *****ing on FB about being grounded). I hate that it makes me seem like I'm a real monster when she hasn't shared what she did to get grounded in the first place - maybe that's just me being oversensitive though I must add that it probably wouldn't bother me if DD wasn't friends on FB with many of my friends - I couldn't care less what her friends think.

 

[bicker]

Am I the only one that feels Facebook status updates should ONLY be things you'd willingly tell a crowd of 150 people that know you?

Facebook status updates should be things that you'd share with friends and family. One of the big problems in our society, that Facebook helps address, I believe, is social isolation stemming from urbanization and perhaps even industrialization.

The problem, I suspect, is that some folks may either not be aware of, or be too casual in their use of, the privacy control for each status update.

I have my connections divided up into a number of groups, and actually have my default privacy set to four or five of these groups. Only people in these groups will see the message, and generally, I click on the padlock and delete one or more of the groups each time, often just leaving the one group of people who should see that specific message. The reason why I do it this way is a lot easier to have them all there by default and delete the ones that need not see the message, rather than to not have a default set of groups and then add the ones that should see the message. It is a matter of number of clicks, and more importantly a matter of the relative reliability/flakiness of the Facebook interface.

One warning, if you choose to use this approach: You should ensure that the default set of groups you set contains all your connections. I have one group which is, essentially, "other". While you could just switch the privacy of a message to "All Friends" very easily, if you use the default set of groups approach for your status update privacy, then only people in at least one of those groups are allowed to post messages to you. (Of course, this tidbit might be useful in the other direction: If you have someone you want to remain a friend, but you want to prevent them from posting to your wall, this is the way to do it. This is different from blocking them from your wall. If you block them, your friends can still see what they posted to your wall, even if you don't. With the default set of groups approach, they get an error trying to post to your wall.)

If I wouldn't post it on a billboard, I don't post it.

Rather, if you wouldn't post it on a billboard, don't post it to "Everyone". "Everyone" is just one of the options.

In a broader sense, and going back to what I was saying at the start of this reply, I find that people tend to share too little of their lives with friends as opposed to too much. It was different when we all forged friendships as children and then lived the rest of our lives within five miles of those childhood friends. That's not the way the world is anymore. Facebook is a great way of recapturing some of what we've lost to progress, i.e., what we've lost due to our ability to travel far and wide, and the tendency for us to live our lives much further from where we were born than hundreds of years ago, when many of our society memes were established.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think that posting about your life is not the same as posting information that should be kept in your own home. FB is just one of the tools people use to say way too much about their private lives. I find cell phone conversations can be uncomfortable as well. Just try to eat lunch at work while avoidiong some pretty graphic conversations that take place. I have found it hard to look at some coworkers and keep a straight face after overhearing some of their chats.

I use FB but very rarely post updates that are too personal and cringe when someone posts an update that probably should be left unsaid. Bathroom habits and bedroom exploits can make me lose my morning coffee and I wonder what those folks were thinking when they post them.

Sharing info about family is nice and I like that FB helps me remain connected to friends and family but I believe respect and common sense is important.

OP- I would keep out of this, your BIL is probably a "friend" and has already seen that little update. Perhaps he does not mind either.

 

[daughtersrus]

Am I the only one that feels Facebook status updates should ONLY be things you'd willingly tell a crowd of 150 people that know you? If I wouldn't post it on a billboard, I don't post it.

OTOH, I have just read that my brother-in-law's girlfriend is not happy with her, umm, intimate (or lack of) relationship with my brother-in-law.
I posted something like "aack! TMI!" and she responded with LOL

I think DH should call his brother and let him know. DH says it's none of his business. Well, you know, it wasn't any of my business, either, but somehow it showed up in my living room I really care about BIL
...and really hate the thought of all these people making jokes about such a private thing.

When my daughters first started posting on myspace and facebook several years ago, I told them that they better be careful and think about what they're posting. The analogy that I used was that it's the same as posting the message on billboard on I294 right by O'Hare airport~ anyone driving by can see it. The same is true for the internet. Even if you have privacy settings, I'm sure that most kids/teens/young adults... don't know all of their friends or would want all of them to know the most intimate details of their lives.

Both of my DDs have been careful. I'm sure that their careers choices (both SpEd Teachers) have had some influence on what they do/don't post.

 

[ilovejack02]

I only post funny little things my child says or Happy Birthday wishes etc. Never ever anything personal or when we are out of town etc. I keep it family related, light and funny.

FLOORS me when I see what some folks write, but out of the 200 + friends I really only have a cpl that write crazy stuff.

One girl, the daughter of a family friend, has got baby daddy drama, family drama, friend drama ( of her own making) she is a exotic dancer ; 0 and has a new boyfriend of the week each week , whom she loves with all her heart and she puts it all on facebook , every last dramatic moment.
It is a train wreck and I can't delete her because I find her crazy posts funny and I love seeing pics of her kiddos . No drugs or booze involved amazingly enough or I would delete her.

 

[Daisy&Max]

I compare FB to what I tell my students on the first day of school, if you can't say it in front of your grandma at church on Sunday, then you don't need to say it here.

 

[Jennasis]

I'm dealing with this right now. Makes me want to scream. It's not even me or my family for a change. It's my students...but the fallout finds itself all the way to my house!

 

[hellokitty86]

Today one of my friends on Facebook posted a picture that she found (I have no idea where) of a man's private area, and it had severe burns (very graphic) and she said "This is what happens when you are caught cheating LOL"

I wish there was a way to report photos, I'm sure there is but I'm not sure how to. In the meantime I hid her because it was making me feel sick to keep seeing it everytime I looked at the news feed.

(quoting myself ) I went back to Facebook to report the picture and its already gone, so she either deleted it herself or someone reported it. Either way, I'm glad its not there anymore.