Appropriate 3rd wedding gift?

[ssawka]

I would send my regrets and be done with it--sorry but second weddings I will go to if I am close to the person but come on- a third one?? How many times are they going to try the marriage thing before figuring out its not for them!

My friend married a guy that was married 6 times before (twice to the same person!) and then wondered why they ended up divorced-well if he couldn't get it right the other six times what made you think the seventh would be different??? That was a wedding I skipped!

Although I somewhat agree with you about them getting married again, friendship should be unconditional and if a friend wanted me to celebrate their 50th wedding with them, I would but my opinions to the side, put on a smile, and happily attend with a gift.

 

[TheUltimateParkHoppr]

Maybe you can have her wedding bouquet perserved for her. Many florists will know a company or person who freeze dry flowers and perserve them in a shadow box for display. Its a nice gesture/gift bc its a memory. I dont know what your budget would be but it is something that will last forever.

 

[wisconsinmom]

Is it someone you like spending time with? If so you could go to the salon together before the wedding and do manicures and pedicures

 

[onescgirl]

My husband & I were given a tree (pink dogwood) as one of our wedding gifts. I thought it was a awesome gift.
It was very small when we received it, but it's huge now.
We've watched it grow over the years & know that it symbolizes our wedding & marriage. I love that tree♥!!!

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

For a third marriage, I would send a card only. Etiquette dictates gifts for the first marriage only.

 

[Disneyliscious]

For my uncles 4th wedding I gave him a binder neatly filled with business cards from every divorce attorney I could find. It must have come in handy because he is on his 7th wife now.

 

[scroot]

Has she registered? That should always be the default. I personally love the charity gift but some people don't. Part of me wants to suggest a four leaf clover or other such "good luck" item.

 

[furb & dez]

For a third wedding...? A greeting card with your best wishes. Toss in a gift card to a restaurant if you like.

There's absolutely no reason to spend a lot of money on someone on their third wedding.

 

[aprilgail2]

Maybe you can have her wedding bouquet perserved for her. Many florists will know a company or person who freeze dry flowers and perserve them in a shadow box for display. Its a nice gesture/gift bc its a memory. I dont know what your budget would be but it is something that will last forever.

LOL--that may last longer than a third wedding will!!!

For my uncles 4th wedding I gave him a binder neatly filled with business cards from every divorce attorney I could find. It must have come in handy because he is on his 7th wife now.

 

[5 Disney Fans]

Not that this is the case for this third wedding... But when we have gone to a third wedding or even a first wedding where we know the couple is in a rocky relationship but insist marriage will fix all existing problems... As an inside joke to ourselves we give a set a salt and pepper shakers. Easily divided in a divorce. . I refer to most celebrity weddings as salt and pepper weddings

 

[tink2dw]

I would suggest a gift card. Wal-Mart has generic visa gift cards. My Sister-in-Law got me a $50 gift card for my birthday and I loved it. You can use it almost anywhere (they give you a booklet of participating stores). We used it at Best Buy, Olive Garden, and a few other places.

 

[Auntie Kelly]

I have two friends who have each been married and divorced twice (not to each other! And I have flat out told both of them that they got 2 wedding gifts from me and I don't give gifts for 3rd weddings. And Miss Manners agrees with me!

 

[quentina]

Honestly, under those circumstances, I wouldn't give anything. Not even my "best wishes"...

Me either.....if I knew a good lawyer, I would provide his name

 

[EcbLovesMickey]

don't know if someone's already said it, but a donation to one of the favorite charities would be a ncie gift

 

[bdcp]

My best friend will be getting married in the next couple of months for the third time. I will definitely buy something for them. We've been friends since we were 13 (almost 40 years). Her first husband left her for someone else and her second husband passed away. Her df has been married once before for 25 years, but his ex has some major mental issues and that's what ended that one. I even told my friend that she could have her wedding at my house. I have a fairly large house and it would only be family anyway, so that could be my gift to them.

 

[Karlzmom]

For a third marriage, I would send a card only. Etiquette dictates gifts for the first marriage only.

Etiquette dictates that a couple should only expect gifts for a 1st marriage. It says nothing about genrosity of spirt that may move someone to bring a gift [i.e. its not in bad taste to want to bring a gift to anyone].

OP - if you want to bring a gift, then you have been given some ideas or simply give what you feel moved to give. Whatever the number of the wedding, its still a happy time in the couple's life and celebration is appropriate, as are wishes for a long and happy life.

If a person *can't* be happy, for whatever reason, a polite declining of the invitation works just fine. No need to be snarky, just a thankyou, but I can't attend.

 

[beansmom]

And is this marriage because you cheated on your 2nd husband with your now 3rd husband?
Yes, I absolutely am judgemental about infidelity. I would not condone it by going to celebrate it and bringing a gift.

there's so much of life that's gray rather than black and white. Stuff happens. If my friend was happy, i'd be happy for her. I leave judging people up to self-righteous, holier-than-thous...I have other things to do with my time.

 

[Beckypooh1972]

I would buy two bottles of wine or champagne. One to drink now and a second to celebrate their 1st anniversary. If you wanted to add something tangible you could always pick up a pair of glasses.

That way they have something special, but it is mostly consumable. If they have many more anniversaries, and you remain close you can continue to pick up a bottle of wine for them. If they don't make it to the first--then they can drowned their sorrows.

Oooh I love this idea! If you they don't drink alcohol I'd vote for the tangible - a gift card or a frame... the cancer group donation seems more appropriate for a memorial gift in my opinion

 

[Scurvy]

Personally, I dislike this sort of gift. To me, it reads "I'm going to give money to a cause I like, I'm going to take a tax deduction for doing so, and I'm not going to give you anything". Now if she ASKED you to do this instead of giving a gift, fine, but that's no gift for them if you do so unsolicited.

I agree completely, and this also seems to be the consensus on the ettiquette boards I visit. Charitable donations are really only a good gift if the recipient has told you that's what they would prefer.

I agree with the suggestions of wine or a restaurant gift card if you want to give a gift, though if there really was infidelity involved I personally don't know that I could make myself celebrate the marriage with any form of gift.

 

[dhardawa]

I agree with those who say at this point that a card and maybe a gift card to a restaurant is enough, but if you want to buy a gift, you can always have her wedding invitation framed. You know she doesn't already have one of those... at least not with this husband!