Apparently no longer working outside the home makes me lazy?

[LuvCuteBoys]

Well, I know I'm jealous!! Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you with the anxiety over work, etc but I'm single... I don't have the other option! So, jealous it is

 

[tinkermom23]

Why don't you come on over and we can be lazy together!
All I do at home is read the Disboards and drink coffee. If you cam eover I would get even less done!

I love being lazy. I just need to change out of my PJ's before DH gets home from work so I look busy.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I prefer.."homemaker" as opposed to the term housewife. I mean.. I'm not married to a house?..

Nah, I prefer Domestic Goddess.

 

[Robinrs]

I wouldn't worry about her comments if I were you. Some people don't like to see other people happy. It doesn't matter what anyone other than your husband thinks.

If this is what makes you and your husband happy, it sounds like a good decision.

Thank you.

The jealous card is for the person receiving it, not the usual reason. It's just easier to deal awith.

I hardly jealous of woman who work from home, I've done it and it's a LOT of work. Lazy? That's insane!

But being a single mother I do what you do and what I have to do in the world. It's buying and frying the bacon, and it's hard as hell. I don't have time to concern myself with what's happening in anyone's house by my own. Maybe your sister in law might consider that. I get so sick of how woman bring each other down.

Lazy and Jealous are forms of bringing each other down. When are we going to get over this?

 

[Silent1CB]

I prefer.."homemaker" as opposed to the term housewife. I mean.. I'm not married to a house?..That's just me. What I do is as important as any job I've held outside the home.
It's sad, that sometimes it's we women who are our own worst enemies. Instead of being supportive of one another's choices...what ever they may be, there are always those women who will pass judgement.
Sounds like your sister in-law is one of those.

You are right. Homemaker is better. I think today was maybe the first time I ever came up with a term for what I am now, and housewife just came out. I've just promoted myself to homemaker.

 

[LuvOrlando]

It's awful you had to hear that OP.

Who knows why some people make such barbed comments, it's plain they mean to draw blood but I don't see why they do it. Last year I had a DF tell me in a round about way that my education was a waste because I wasn't working outside the home. Uh, yeah people can be so warm and snugly.

 

[Minnie]

Thank you.

The jealous card is for the person receiving it, not the usual reason. It's just easier to deal awith.

I hardly jealous of woman who work from home, I've done it and it's a LOT of work. Lazy? That's insane!

But being a single mother I do what you do and what I have to do in the world. It's buying and frying the bacon, and it's hard as hell. I don't have time to concern myself with what's happening in anyone's house by my own. Maybe your sister in law might consider that. I get so sick of how woman bring each other down.

Lazy and Jealous are forms of bringing each other down. When are we going to get over this?

This

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I can't believe I found this thread tonight! This happened to me Friday. Not a family member, or even a friend for that matter, but the husband of one of my DH's co-worker.

I was fuming at first, I mean, who is he to say I'm lazy, he knows nothing about me. I have 3 kids (yes, they are all in school now, but there is still pleanty of things to do when they are in school.) I volunteer a ton, I am a Girl Scout leader for each of my girls with no assistant leaders, I do the majority of the household chores and this year I have picked up a P/T job a couple days a week at a preschool. OK, I may still be fuming, but I just think he's a jerk.

My DH loves me being home. He gets a hot breakfast every morning, packed lunches, and a homecooked dinner every night. I do everything when he's at work so his evenings are for relaxing, we have a great life, so it is not the concern of anyone else.

BUT, I for one DO NOT think you are lazy! Running a household can be a full time job.

 

[Tink888]

I think that there are just people in this world, particularly women (which is sad) who just aren't happy unless they're trying to bring someone else down for their life choices which aren't any of their business anyway.

When I come across those people and their comments, I just smile and tell them that I've just been so darn busy being happy that I haven't had time to think of things from their perspective and to have a great day.

It really ticks em' off.

 

[HelenePA]

I just wanted to add I am the maid. And a few years ago my friend called me lazy when I had 3 little ones still home all day and none is school because I did not work... Now I just have one home and he drives me crazy all day. He is more work than the other 3 combined...

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I bet she's jealous. I'd seriously put money on it. Enjoy your newfound free time, guilt-free!

 

[PatsGirl]

I think any family able to have one SAH parent is very lucky! and everyone benefits. I see so many families stressed to the max trying to work full-time, raise kids and manage a household. I have a gf who has stayed home since her second child was born. The kids are now 13/16/19 and she is busier now than she was when they were younger. Money is not an issue for their family and they like to travel.

Her husband loves that he can work his 12-hour commuting shifts but meet them at the airport on Friday afternoon, take off skiing out west for the weekend or visiting relatives on the Cape or in CT or flying off to someplace warm, come home late on Sunday night, and know that all is good. I think she spends more time packing and unpacking the family (and doing all the laundry involved) than anything else She volunteers for the kids activities, keeps her home and yard looking really nice, shops, cooks, cleans...and they still have lots of time to enjoy each other!

 

[allison443]

OP try not to let it bother you!

Sometimes people are defensive or insecure about their own choices or role in life, and they put down others who have made different choices. It's a way of justifying their own choices. I have heard work outside the home parents do it to stay at home parents, as well as vice versa.

I don't blame you for venting though!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Sounds like she's being overly critical, but I really hate the "just jealous" card being played whenever anyone says something disagreeable.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of women who don't want to stay home and aren't "jealous" of those who do.

Lazy and Jealous are forms of bringing each other down. When are we going to get over this?

 

[tzolkin]

A few months ago my brother and his wife just assumed (never even bothered to actually ask me) that I would watch their baby when SIL went back to work full time because "you just sit at home all day anyway". Gee, that's a good way to get someone to provide you with free childcare.

I've also heard countless times since then about how I don't "pay" for childcare. In my mind staying home with my children is costing me 100% of my income, so it's not exactly free.

 

[okeydokey]

Your quality of life is so much more important than your SIL's opinion on anything. If what you are doing works well for your family and is causing no hardship, then you have every right to just ignore her. She just wishes she was in your shoes and had the choices that you and your family have. The best thing for you to do is to enjoy your life.

 

[okeydokey]

A few months ago my brother and his wife just assumed (never even bothered to actually ask me) that I would watch their baby when SIL went back to work full time because "you just sit at home all day anyway". Gee, that's a good way to get someone to provide you with free childcare.

I've also heard countless times since then about how I don't "pay" for childcare. In my mind staying home with my children is costing me 100% of my income, so it's not exactly free.

Oh my, where they surprised you said no? People amaze me sometimes.

 

[Planogirl]

It's awful you had to hear that OP.

Who knows why some people make such barbed comments, it's plain they mean to draw blood but I don't see why they do it. Last year I had a DF tell me in a round about way that my education was a waste because I wasn't working outside the home. Uh, yeah people can be so warm and snugly.

My education is a waste and I DO work outside the home. Having a job doesn't automatically mean that a person is using their education.

People just need to leave others alone. I don't care what other people do as long as they don't hurt anyone else.

 

[MIGrandma]

Good for you! Enjoy yourself and don't give a hoot about what someone else thinks. You said it, your SIL is probably jealous that your time is your own now. When I worked at the restaurant my boss would make crappy comments to me from time to time, simply because I didn't have to work, but chose to, and only wanted to work limited hours, and we did take a couple vacations each year and I know she was jealous of that.

I absolutely love being at home. I can find so much to do, I'm never bored. I consider myself extremely fortunate that I don't have to work, and I treasure my time at home, especially in the winter when the roads are bad it's great not having to get out and drive on them. And with me not working DH and I can head north in the summer any time we want, without me having to worry about asking for time off.

If you and your husband are happy with you not working outside the home, that is all that matters!!

 

[tzolkin]

Oh my, where they surprised you said no? People amaze me sometimes.

Yes. They couldn't imagine how watching an infant for 10 hours a day would have any affect on my daily life/routine.

It was especially annoying because I'd explained to SIL numerous times all the reasons why we were not going to have any more children. (She kept trying to convince me to "have a baby with her" ). If I had reasons for not wanting to have my own baby, what would make you think I would want to take care of yours every day?