anyone with child with bi polar/adhd?

[livie1205]

how do you deal with this on a daily basis? what is your treatment? how do you do wdw?

anyone with any advice or personal experience?

 

[james'mommy]

I myself am bipolar. It's something you have to take day by day. Alot of it is finding the right cocktail of meds that will even things out. I recommend you check out DBSA.com. The have boards there and one is for family and friends of people with bipolar.

 

[sl_underwood]

I dont have a child with a bipolar diagnosis but I have 2 with ADHD

My oldest has an official diagnosis of OCD, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and RAD
My middle dd has an official diagnosis of ADHD, LD, Dyslexia, Hypotonia and Aplastic Anemia
My youngest has a PDD-NOS diagnosis along with Anxiety, PTSD, RAD.

I will give you the same advice I give to everyone, take it one day at a time, dont take the negative behavior personally, try not to internalize to much. Dont forget, no matter how hard it is on you, its even harder for the child. They are suffering too. Love may not fix everything but it does do amazing things.

 

[livie1205]

thanks...all I am feeling is hopeless....like I am drowning and the only help from my ex is that he just needs a good spanking!The last thing he needs is hitting...

 

[bookwormde]

One thing to check is if bipolar diagnosis is a primary diagnosis or was a manifestation of some other issue, which manifested itself at clinical levels thereby a secondary diagnosis, and the underlying issue was missed. This is very common, particularly with children who are over 10 years who were diagnosed before many of the human neurovariations were well understood.


bookwormde

 

[Snoopymom]

thanks...all I am feeling is hopeless....like I am drowning and the only help from my ex is that he just needs a good spanking!The last thing he needs is hitting...

I know it's hard some days or in the moment of a meltdown to remember that it is a medical condition and not a behavior problem, so I always keep books or articles I've printed laying around. Sometimes, all I have to do is look at a chapter heading and I'm instantly filled with compassion and understanding.

It sounds like you just got the dxs? We just learned that ds has ADHD on top of Epilepsy so, right now I'm trying to concentrate on getting the doctors to help us get the meds right and I figure I'll deal with the denial and stigma stuff from everyone else later. When I get overwhelmed, I try to look at it as a list of priorities, what does ds need first...sometimes at that moment it's something as simple as a hug or a snack.

Let us know how you're doing.
Hugs!

 

[sl_underwood]

(((Hugs))) I am sorry you are feeling so hopeless. I would suggest family counseling. I have even been known to see my childrens therapist without them as parenting children with these issues can be incredibly difficult. Take care of yourself, to be a good mom, you have to keep yourself whole.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

It is so very hard, but we just take it one day at a time. My BP daughter, age 9, cycles up and down every day. While I can sometimes see the meltdowns coming, it is still difficult to deal with. Sometimes we feel as if we are all alone, for nobody we know seems to understand. My daughter tells people I am mean, and they believe her. She has told stories of her cousin (who only exists in her fantasy world, and who she believes is real) coming to dinner, so she would have to cut a speech therapy session short. We have to explain to these people that our princess is bipolar, and they are amazed that she was so serious and they actually believed her story. We are on our second school this year already, and the con artist is already at work. Daily drama, daily lies, daily meltdowns, daily struggles to get her to take her meds, etc.,etc., etc. It is a cycle that never ends.

There is not a more delightful child in this world than when my princess is in her up mood. She is fun to be around and makes us laugh and delights us. When she is in her down mood, there is not a more frustrating individual in the world. She causes turmoil and heartache during these episodes. She cycles in and out several times a day. It is so very sad to watch this precious little one go through so much. We just remind ourselves that this is a medical condition.

You are not alone, there are people who understand, it is just hard to find them sometimes. Just remember, DAY_TO_DAY is how you deal with it.

 

[livie1205]

this is what I have delt with for years before anyone tested him and found out...my ex does NOT agree and says he just needs a spanking....that does not do anything but make it worse (i am not one of those crazed no spanking people,it just is not the thing to do with him) .I am worn down...my dh tries to help and be understanding but it is hard when he sees someone treat his wife in such a bad way.The dr started treating the adhd but not the bipolar but I am going to her this week and ask her to treat the bipolar over the adhd...the ups and downs are taking over his young life!the mania is the worst with him...the smallest thing sets him off..I guess I was just hoping I was not the only one dealing with this...alot of people dont relize it is just not him being a brat...what kind of meds would work for him? it is the yelling,screamimg,throwing,hitting ect... that needs to be calmed.This is not a spoiled kids thing either...our kids are not what you would call spoiled, the others do not act this way at all.My ex is also bipolar (i think,he wont be tested).

I am horified to even tell people about this but I am so worn down that I need others ideas...

 

[bookwormde]

With your description of your child’s bipolar being extremely short cycle, I am just wondering if you have had a broad evaluation done including a screening for autism spectrum characteristics (by a clinician highly experience in ASD), in the groups I am involved in it a reasonable percentage of the children who are eventually diagnosed with Aspergers were originally diagnosed with Bipolar and often additionally ADHD. The Bipolar clinical diagnosis does not go away but becomes a secondary co morbid diagnosis. When this is the case the underlying caused the anxiety (limited innate social skills and or TOM deficits or a different EF system or sensory issues) which triggers the manifestations can be addressed at the root cause and the bipolar patterning can often be reduced.

With your husband exhibiting symptoms I would strongly recommend getting Tony Atwood, The Complete Guide to Aspergers (available on Amazon for about $25). Even if you child and husband are strictly bipolar there is some great information on dealing with neurovariations and if they do have spectrum characteristics you will quickly understand why they are the way they are and can move towards effective therapies for the underlying neurovariation.

Just remember that his actions are based on trying to adapt to the world with the neurovariation that he has, the fact that they are maladaptive is just a matter his needing to find the correct therapies and supports to allow him to develop move productive adaptive manifestations.

bookwormde

 

[livie1205]

With your description of your child’s bipolar being extremely short cycle, I am just wondering if you have had a broad evaluation done including a screening for autism spectrum characteristics (by a clinician highly experience in ASD), in the groups I am involved in it a reasonable percentage of the children who are eventually diagnosed with Aspergers were originally diagnosed with Bipolar and often additionally ADHD. The Bipolar clinical diagnosis does not go away but becomes a secondary co morbid diagnosis. When this is the case the underlying caused the anxiety (limited innate social skills and or TOM deficits or a different EF system or sensory issues) which triggers the manifestations can be addressed at the root cause and the bipolar patterning can often be reduced.

With your husband exhibiting symptoms I would strongly recommend getting Tony Atwood, The Complete Guide to Aspergers (available on Amazon for about $25). Even if you child and husband are strictly bipolar there is some great information on dealing with neurovariations and if they do have spectrum characteristics you will quickly understand why they are the way they are and can move towards effective therapies for the underlying neurovariation.

Just remember that his actions are based on trying to adapt to the world with the neurovariation that he has, the fact that they are maladaptive is just a matter his needing to find the correct therapies and supports to allow him to develop move productive adaptive manifestations.

bookwormde

my EX husband has the same symptoms, my current dh is fine lol I am not around my ex alot but my son does see him.I am asking his dr to take another look at the meds.

 

[bookwormde]

Sorry I missed the EX detail, but the same applies you just have to relate it to memories

bookwormde

 

[LMC]

Have him evaluated by a pediatric psychiatrist. I just took my DS7 about 2 weeks ago as I was about to lose my mind. It was a rough summer and he was doing horribly in school. While I always figured he was ADHD, I was shocked when the doctor said he was an extreme case and would be started out on higher doses of meds. My greatest fear was that he would be diagnosed w/ bipolar as well but the doc says he is too young. DS is always argumentative, in perpetual motion and has to be the loudest in the room. It is (was) always a screaming field around here. He is doing wonderfully in school now, has not lost his appetite, and still is still "himself" so he doesn't seem medicated. He is combative when he gets picked up at school since he is coming off his meds so we come home for a second dose. I know medicating is not for everyone but we were at a crisis point in our household where something had to be done.

 

[ireland_nicole]

My DD was dx'd bipolar, RAD, ODD, ADHD, HFA, Dyspraxia, Visual Perceptual processing disorder, IgA deficiency, (also being eval'd now for possible dwarfism and more serious kidney issue than we previously thought. Yeah, we're going to a geneticist next.) Also added Epilepsy this summer.

Interestingly, DD was also "ultra rapid" cycling. We changed psychiatrists this summer, and her new one is convinced after properly assessing her for Autism (by someone who actually had a clue what they were doing) that she had Aspergers' not Bipolar. The rage, lack of empathy, rigidity/intense difficulty w/ change in routine, "crazy" lying- can all be attribulted to her other dx's as well.

As far as what to do, we get up every morning and breathe in and out. I know how hard it is to love a kid who can't love you back. I pray a lot, I cry a lot, I hope a lot, I fail a lot. But inside, beyond her pathology, is a child that is worth fighting for, a child I WILL get to know. So until then, we'll try new treatments and new diets, and new doctors. We will reminisce about what it was like to have a savings account. We will dream of a better future than our present. And we will reach out, to God, to friends, to online support, when we feel like we're drowning. Because even when it feels like it, we're NOT alone.

 

[LMC]

My DS13 has ADD (no hyperactivity), all visual perception issues, ASD, IgA deficiency, AND Dyspraxia. Not too often you hear others mention dyspraxia as it only affects 2% of the population. I think the geneticist will help you greatly if you have never seen one. We saw one when DS was 8 yo and they finally gave us a genetic syndrome diagnosis which explained everything we had been going thru. Our neuro actually told me that those doctors are usually the ones you see last but the ones that have the answers. Sad but true. Good luck on your quest for treatments.

My DD was dx'd bipolar, RAD, ODD, ADHD, HFA, Dyspraxia, Visual Perceptual processing disorder, IgA deficiency, (also being eval'd now for possible dwarfism and more serious kidney issue than we previously thought. Yeah, we're going to a geneticist next.) Also added Epilepsy this summer.

Interestingly, DD was also "ultra rapid" cycling. We changed psychiatrists this summer, and her new one is convinced after properly assessing her for Autism (by someone who actually had a clue what they were doing) that she had Aspergers' not Bipolar. The rage, lack of empathy, rigidity/intense difficulty w/ change in routine, "crazy" lying- can all be attribulted to her other dx's as well.

As far as what to do, we get up every morning and breathe in and out. I know how hard it is to love a kid who can't love you back. I pray a lot, I cry a lot, I hope a lot, I fail a lot. But inside, beyond her pathology, is a child that is worth fighting for, a child I WILL get to know. So until then, we'll try new treatments and new diets, and new doctors. We will reminisce about what it was like to have a savings account. We will dream of a better future than our present. And we will reach out, to God, to friends, to online support, when we feel like we're drowning. Because even when it feels like it, we're NOT alone.

 

[kaffinito]

My oldest boy has ADHD, is bi polar, and is also ASD. First we treated the ADHD, which was finally brought under control with Adderall. Then we treated his bi polar condition (also rapid cycling and lots of imaginary things going on) with Trazadone and Triliptal. After those two conditions were under control, and he was functional in school, that's when everyone started telling me he was ASD as well. Honestly, his ADHD and his manic depression were so bad that no one could tell!

Yes, it was hell living with him. I spent years frustrated, crying and at my wits end. I argued with school officials, doctors, and teachers until I gained an unsavory reputation.

However, my son is now functional, and is in a regular ed high school with special ed classes. It was a long hard road, and I had to do a lot of reading and advocating for my son (hence the unsavory reputation). Get an evaluation from the school, if you haven't done so already, ask for a recommendation for a psychiatrist, remember that as your daughters mother, you are the one best suited to help your daughter, and pray. If you get too stressed, then give yourself a "time out" in the bathtub with some nice stinky bubble bath. If you don't have time for a bath, then lock yourself in there for a few minutes and sing a happy song until the angry gerbils in your head stop stomping on your brain!

Best of luck to you!

 

[happily single]

How old is your son? My son has been diagnosed with EVERYTHING under the sun. However the latest diagnosis is Bi-polar, PDD and ADHD. We are not treating the ADHD with meds (we have in the past with mixed success). He is taking abilify and tegetrol for his bi-polar and it is finally a good match. Bi-Polar meds are a very very tough combo to get right.

What I think has made the biggest difference is time. I have been very afraid as Joe gets bigger and stronger that I couldn't keep him at home. He literally spent the past year (11-06 through 12-07) in and out of hospitals, with them telling me he needed residential treatment. I couldn't do it.

We have had Home Based Theraputic Services (HBTS) with numerous "workers" who were pretty useless. We finally have found a great worker (THANK YOU JENN CAKE, WE LOVE YOU) and he has made tremendous gains.

Overall you just need to get his meds right, get someone to work with you guys *HBTS* and wait. Things got better for me with time.

If you want to talk more feel free to pm me.

 

[bookwormde]

Happily Single

Just a note that a large percentage of children that get alphabet soup diagnosis are in reality are somewhere on the Autism spectrum and the other diagnosis are just co morbid manifestations. If he has not had an evaluation for Autism/Aspergers by a clinician highly experience in this area it would be a good idea to make sure that you are really addressing the core issue.

bookwormde