Anyone watching Dr. Phil "Forced To Be A Father"?

[meloneyb21]

It's just me and the kids so I have no one to talk about it with....sooo...I came here....lol.

Anyway, I can absolutely see both sides but I totally agree with the guests (I forget the names).

With that saying I totally agree with men being able to have equal reproductive rights.

 

[nuke]

It's just me and the kids so I have no one to talk about it with....sooo...I came here....lol.

Anyway, I can absolutely see both sides but I totally agree with the guests (I forget the names).

With that saying I totally agree with men being able to have equal reproductive rights.

I didn't catch the whole show. Did they say how old the child was of the family that is fighting the child support? I'm wondering how long that mother took to come forward with the information that he had a child.

It's an interesting debate.

 

[DawnCt1]

I only caught the first half of the show, but unless he was raped, and it doesn't seem like he was, he is responsible and needs to to write the check. Too bad for him that he made "other plans". He should have shown more self control.

 

[okeydokey]

If he chose to have sex with a woman and rely on her taking the birth control then he chose the possibility that a pregnancy could result. I say too bad for him.

 

[meloneyb21]

I didn't catch the whole show. Did they say how old the child was of the family that is fighting the child support? I'm wondering how long that mother took to come forward with the information that he had a child.

It's an interesting debate.

I think the child was 2?

 

[meloneyb21]

I totally get what you guys are saying but what about those equal rights? Why can't a man force a woman to keep a baby that she might not want but he does? It DOES seems very one sided. I've been through something similar in my life so I can kinda see where this man is coming from. What about the couple who said the woman SAID she just did it for a check? I mean, that's really effed up. He did what he did but don't FORCE this man to be a part of something he doesn't want to be a part of. You just wanted his money? How triflin....and I know a lot of woman who have done this.

 

[merryweather20]

I totally get what you guys are saying but what about those equal rights? Why can't a man force a woman to keep a baby that she might not want but he does? It DOES seems very one sided. I've been through something similar in my life so I can kinda see where this man is coming from. What about the couple who said the woman SAID she just did it for a check? I mean, that's really effed up. He did what he did but don't FORCE this man to be a part of something he doesn't want to be a part of. You just wanted his money? How triflin....and I know a lot of woman who have done this.

I don't know any women who have done that, but I know plenty of men who have lied and made empty promises in order to have sex.

The last Dr Phil I saw on this topic, he said something like the men do have a choice, they have one joint choice with the woman, and no matter how much you've discussed what you'd do before hand, if there is a pregnancy you also have to understand that your perspective may change with the pregnancy.

I guess I feel like either the guy is there right next to the woman or he's just running around. I just don't have alot of sympathy for a guy who is just running around. Pregnancy is a known risk even with the best birth control, its something thats on the table with an intimate relationship.

 

[Teacher03]

Anytime a man and woman have sex, they should be open to the possibility that a baby could be the result. If a man does not want to be a father, then the only sure way to prevent it is to not have sex. Vice versa for a woman.

I personally wanted to reach through the TV and slap the woman who was upset that her "perfect circle" was ruined. She said her two children would be devasted when they found out they had a half brother. If they, meaning she and the father, welcomed the little boy with open arms, so would the children. Okay, the other mom involved sounded like a loon, but what about the little boy? He should not be punished because of it. What a bunch of crazies.

 

[ginna74]

well I know that the woman has all the rights and "RIGHTFULLY" so... BUT that shouldn't mean that her decision should be forced on the man. I think that the mother of the man said that if mothers were FORCED to be MOTHERS things would be a lotttttt different. But we all know there will never be a forced mother because we have all the power in our hands to do whatever we want as far as that goes.

 

[DisneyWalker44]

I totally get what you guys are saying but what about those equal rights?

When men and women have equal roles in bring a child from conception to birth, they have equal rights. Until then, they don't.

It DOES seems very one sided.

Like it or not, the pregnancy thing is very one sided.

 

[donald&daisy]

If only God would answer my prayer that men should be able to bear children...then we would have world peace.

 

[Mickey527]

If only God would answer my prayer that men should be able to bear children...then we would have world peace.

My mom used to say "If men and women could each carry children there would be 3 children in each family.
The woman would have the 1st, the man would have the 2nd, the woman would have the 3rd and that would be the end, because no man would ever want to go through childbirth again."

Now on to the show. I do agree with what that man who defends men's rights said. (I usually don't because my ex contacted his group for men's equality when we got divorced and tried to get away without paying child support for our 2 children) But he did sound right when he said if a man wanted a child and the woman didn't could he force her to have a child and force her to pay support for it? I doubt any woman could be forced just because the man wanted a child. He could do surrogacy but could never get away with getting a woman pregnant and having her carry the child and give it to him. If she didn't want it she could take steps to prevent it but would never willingly give it up and pay support for the rest of the child's life.
I know that if the man didn't want a child he could use the birth control, or abstaine from sex, but the one guy did say they both discussed their not wanting children EVER. If she honestly felt that way why didn't she stop the pregnancy early on, or go to him sooner? I do feel that the woman trapped the man in that case.
I didn't watch the show, I only caught a few minutes. I absolutly hate that Gloria Aldrich (sp) and won't watch anything she is on. She reminds me of Al Sharpton, always getting her face into places she needs to stay out of.

 

[nuke]

So did he cheat on his wife then? His other kids looked like they were about 3 or 4 years old. If he cheated he's gotten what he deserves and I don't feel sorry for him. If this was pre-marriage and the mother didn't tell him until years later then I have a different view on it.

 

[TheZue]

I've got a slightly different take on this. I don't think men should be allowed to get out of child support, but I DO think that men should have the first shot at any baby that might be adopted. They should be allowed to force a paternity test if they think it is theirs before an adoption moves forward. If they want the baby they should be allowed to take it and sue the mom for child support. I think men do get screwed when the babies get adopted against their wishes because the mom doesn't want to keep them.

 

[akhenaten]

I personally wanted to reach through the TV and slap the woman who was upset that her "perfect circle" was ruined. She said her two children would be devasted when they found out they had a half brother. If they, meaning she and the father, welcomed the little boy with open arms, so would the children. Okay, the other mom involved sounded like a loon, but what about the little boy? He should not be punished because of it. What a bunch of crazies.

I did too..... I wonder how she will handle all of the other things in life that will ruin her perfect circle"

 

[zumbergc]

about the fathers where the children are adopted out.
There is a thing called the putative father registry. ( i suspect different states have different rules). If you suspect your g-friend, or who-ever is pregnant and going to adopt out the baby. The male can sign up on the putative father registry. In ohio if no father is listed, they have to list the mothers name and baby for a while ( i can't remember if its 23- or 30 days) in the paper. I don't think its the regular paper, but a certain one I've never heard of before a few weeks ago. Then if no father comes forward the adoption proceeds. Unfortunately most people don't know about putative father registries, so the men may not register.

 

[Luv'sTink]

Here's the deal...EVERY TIME you have sex, YOU are making a choice to have a child, EVERY TIME, because NO birth control is 100% (barring removal of internal parts) When a man has sex, he is right there and then giving his permission to the women as to whether or not he will have a child IF there is one conceived. It's her body her choice, period, not court is ever going to over rule this. If there are any men out there that don't know this by now then they are very sheltered or stupid, take your pick.

When two people have sex, to me, it is BOTH of their responsibility to protect THEMSELVES as much as they can. HE needs to wear a condom and not leave it up to the women to actually use birth control or lie about whether she did or not. SHE needs to use birth control and not leave it up to him to wear a condom or have had a vasectomy, to which she has no idea if he did or not. If either of them absolutely do not want a baby then do not have sex, especially with someone you don't want to be connected to the rest of your life.

My husband and I used condoms as birth control for over 5 years and never ever had one break or slip off, I do not believe that happens as often as people say it does.

Yep, this is a subject I feel very strongly about, been there done that. He knew I was not on birth control, he would take care of it and choose to take a "chance" once my son was conceived he didn't want "it" We even had talked about the fact that IF I got pregnant I would not "get rid of it", he didn't believe me, he was wrong.

 

[Luv'sTink]

I've got a slightly different take on this. I don't think men should be allowed to get out of child support, but I DO think that men should have the first shot at any baby that might be adopted. They should be allowed to force a paternity test if they think it is theirs before an adoption moves forward. If they want the baby they should be allowed to take it and sue the mom for child support. I think men do get screwed when the babies get adopted against their wishes because the mom doesn't want to keep them.

My husband adopted my son and let me tell you, everything was about my sons sperm donor. He was offered counseling, that we would of had to pay for, for adopting out a child he had seen 3 times in 9 years! (his choice) He signed the papers and still I had to pay a county social worker $100 bucks to call him and make sure it was what he wanted to do. He had so much time after the papers were signed to change his mind.

In Washington state you can not adopt out a child without the biological fathers consent.

 

[etoiles]

When two people have sex, to me, it is BOTH of their responsibility to protect THEMSELVES as much as they can. HE needs to wear a condom and not leave it up to the women to actually use birth control or lie about whether she did or not. SHE needs to use birth control and not leave it up to him to wear a condom or have had a vasectomy, to which she has no idea if he did or not. If either of them absolutely do not want a baby then do not have sex, especially with someone you don't want to be connected to the rest of your life.

I completely agree.

Birth control pills do not claim to be 100% effective so he needs to man up and take responsibility for the fact that he did not protect himself whatsoever and relied solely on her. Also, he obviously did not discuss with her what would happen if she by accident got pregnant which was another mistake on her part. He obviously needed to take responsibility to protect himself instead of relying on someone else.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I don't know any women who have done that, but I know plenty of men who have lied and made empty promises in order to have sex.

The last Dr Phil I saw on this topic, he said something like the men do have a choice, they have one joint choice with the woman, and no matter how much you've discussed what you'd do before hand, if there is a pregnancy you also have to understand that your perspective may change with the pregnancy.

I guess I feel like either the guy is there right next to the woman or he's just running around. I just don't have alot of sympathy for a guy who is just running around. Pregnancy is a known risk even with the best birth control, its something thats on the table with an intimate relationship.

You are forgetting reproductive science here, a man found he was the father of twins after his ex wife forged his signature to use his frozen sperm. In the uk with IVF both parents have to sign to consent or the embryo doesn't get implanted. So what are you going to do about an ex who forges a signature to get pre frozen sperm?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...nged-wife-forged-signature-IVF-deception.html