Anyone watching Dr. Phil "Forced To Be A Father"?

[Eeyores Butterfly]

You are forgetting reproductive science here, a man found he was the father of twins after his ex wife forged his signature to use his frozen sperm. In the uk with IVF both parents have to sign to consent or the embryo doesn't get implanted. So what are you going to do about an ex who forges a signature to get pre frozen sperm?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...nged-wife-forged-signature-IVF-deception.html

And how often does that happen in real life? In that case the man should not be responsible for the child, but that is an extremely rare occurrence and kind of ridiculous.

 

[PaulaSB12]

And how often does that happen in real life? In that case the man should not be responsible for the child, but that is an extremely rare occurrence and kind of ridiculous.

It is going to happen more and more often as we use technology to get what we want. In that case if the father is willing he should be given custody of any child I wouldn't trust the mother with them.

 

[NMAmy]

Anytime a man and woman have sex, they should be open to the possibility that a baby could be the result. If a man does not want to be a father, then the only sure way to prevent it is to not have sex. Vice versa for a woman.

I personally wanted to reach through the TV and slap the woman who was upset that her "perfect circle" was ruined. She said her two children would be devasted when they found out they had a half brother. If they, meaning she and the father, welcomed the little boy with open arms, so would the children. Okay, the other mom involved sounded like a loon, but what about the little boy? He should not be punished because of it. What a bunch of crazies.

I could not believe that woman either. I was listening on the car radio and came in late--did her husband have an affair while they were married or was this a child from before they met that he just didn't find out about until he was married to his wife?

I heard her make the comment about how devestated her kids would be and I thought, "Jeez, lady, they have a little brother. Not the end of the world to a kid unless you make it into that."

 

[Teacher03]

I could not believe that woman either. I was listening on the car radio and came in late--did her husband have an affair while they were married or was this a child from before they met that he just didn't find out about until he was married to his wife?

I heard her make the comment about how devestated her kids would be and I thought, "Jeez, lady, they have a little brother. Not the end of the world to a kid unless you make it into that."

She was an ex-girlfrined, but he didn't find out about the baby until he was married. The brother would be older than the two from the marriage.

 

[meloneyb21]

You are forgetting reproductive science here, a man found he was the father of twins after his ex wife forged his signature to use his frozen sperm. In the uk with IVF both parents have to sign to consent or the embryo doesn't get implanted. So what are you going to do about an ex who forges a signature to get pre frozen sperm?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...nged-wife-forged-signature-IVF-deception.html

LOL....that's a bit of a stretch and he definitely should not have to be responsible for that child.

 

[pooh6890]

She was an ex-girlfrined, but he didn't find out about the baby until he was married. The brother would be older than the two from the marriage.

I thought he said that she helped him with car trouble or something and one thing led to another. Then in the next segment, he called her an ex-girlfriend. He gave the impression he didn't know her very well. If that's the case, that was his first and I guess last mistake with her. Pretty bad mistake in any case though.

 

[merryweather20]

You are forgetting reproductive science here, a man found he was the father of twins after his ex wife forged his signature to use his frozen sperm. In the uk with IVF both parents have to sign to consent or the embryo doesn't get implanted. So what are you going to do about an ex who forges a signature to get pre frozen sperm?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...nged-wife-forged-signature-IVF-deception.html

Sorry, but that is a complete non-sequitur. I specifically referenced intimate relationships, I'm not sure how you could possibly reply with an odd-ball sperm theft.

 

[SanFranciscan]

I think that this came down to a taypayers' rights issue. Pregnancy is no cost to men. That is why they behave like they do when it comes to sex. This is really just an attempt to keep children off of welfare or out of the even more expensive foster care system because it is much cheaper to let a mother raise her children alone in poverty than to put them into foster care. I have paid a lot of child support, and I don't have any children.

 

[SanFranciscan]

When men and women have equal roles in bring a child from conception to birth, they have equal rights. Until then, they don't.
Like it or not, the pregnancy thing is very one sided.

Disneywalker44, I think I understand what you are saying. Legal abortion and contraception do not give women the sexual freedom that men have and never will because the burden of abortion is on her too. Even if she really didn't want to be pregnant, going from pregnant to not pregnant will make her feel a sense of loss no matter how relieved she is that it is over. That is just the way it is. Life has never been fair.

 

[Gammaresource]

Disneywalker44, I think I understand what you are saying. Legal abortion and contraception do not give women the sexual freedom that men have and never will because the burden of abortion is on her too. Even if she really didn't want to be pregnant, going from pregnant to not pregnant will make her feel a sense of loss no matter how relieved she is that it is over. That is just the way it is. Life has never been fair.

It is a trade off. He has no rights over his child, she has to make the choices. If they'd both learn restraint, it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[SanFranciscan]

It is a trade off. He has no rights over his child, she has to make the choices. If they'd both learn restraint, it wouldn't be an issue.

This actually comes quite easily to me. I saw a television program about "asexuals" and had a jawdropping reaction when I realized that the "condition," for lack of a better term, probably applied to me and the man that I do get along pretty well with. That may well explain why heterosexual men and I have generally not mixed very well. I have no hatred of them for existing, but my lack of interest in them has often been enough to make them hostile toward me.

Just like the people on the panel of that television show, I am capable of love. When they said that they did have romantic non-sexual relationships, I was pretty shocked, even though I should have known better because so much of what they said made sense to me. Yet after I thought about it, it did make sense. Romance takes thoughtfulness and therefore at least a little alturism. Dating to get laid is too primative to be romantic.

 

[meloneyb21]

This actually comes quite easily to me. I saw a television program about "asexuals" and had a jawdropping reaction when I realized that the "condition," for lack of a better term, probably applied to me and the man that I do get along pretty well with. That may well explain why heterosexual men and I have generally not mixed very well. I have no hatred of them for existing, but my lack of interest in them has often been enough to make them hostile toward me.

Just like the people on the panel of that television show, I am capable of love. When they said that they did have romantic non-sexual relationships, I was pretty shocked, even though I should have known better because so much of what they said made sense to me. Yet after I thought about it, it did make sense. Romance takes thoughtfulness and therefore at least a little alturism. Dating to get laid is too primative to be romantic.

I think I saw that program too. I totally get it.

 

[JLKennedy]

I guess I'm with the OP, in the minority. I am pro-life personally. That being said, I think if the woman bears the choice to terminate and male wants the baby, she should be told to have the baby, sign over parental rights to him and be done with it...or maybe better yet, force her to pay him child support.

Let's see how many panties get in a bunch then.

That's what we are telling men. If a woman gets pregnant and you don't want her to keep the pregnancy, too bad, she can choose to keep it and now you have to pay child support.

Equal protection under the law, the man should not be forced to pay child support. But he should be forced to sign over any legal rights to the child. If he refuses to sign over rights, garnish his paycheck.

 

[EMom]

Men and women will NEVER have an equal say in whether a pregnancy continues and whether a child is born or not for the simplest of reasons. While they may contribute equally to its creation, the female ALONE is responsible for carrying the baby and giving birth. She bears ALL the risk of a pregnancy/childbirth and ALL the risk abortion carries. It is HER body that will be impacted, not the man's. This concept is so simple I cannot believe it still goes over the heads of so many.

Is this fair? Perhaps not. But neither is it fair that the woman bears 100% of the physical/medical risk of abortion, pregnancy and childbirth. But as we so often say, life isn't fair.

So long as women alone carry this risk, they alone have the deciding "vote" or say. There is no way to equalize this problem and make each party have an equal say, because it is inherently unbalanced from the beginning. A man who wants a woman to carry a baby she does not wish to keep can't do this for the obvious reason that pregnancy can put a woman's health and life at risk. Therefore, only SHE can make that call. His time to have a say....sad, but true......is at the point when he's deciding whether to have sex or not.

 

[SanFranciscan]

Ladies, a woman cannot rely upon a man. Even if you are married, this remains true. I interned in the court system and saw that divorcing fathers often said that they wanted custody when they didn't want custody. What they wanted was a better financial deal. If they could lower or totally get out of child support, they immediately decided that it was in the best interest of the children to remain with their mother. I was positively stunned at how often I heard I heard fathers say that they wanted a car or a stereo and that their wives could have keep the children. My heart ached for those children who probably loved Daddy. How would they feel if they knew that he regarded them as marital property that he would gladly trade?

I saw a couple of lousy mothers in family court too, but I think women are programmed to want children more than men. Women who had been abandoned by their boyfriends and rebuked and rejected by their own parents because they were pregnant, including one who had been raped and left for dead when she got pregnant, had often spent years begging adoption agencies for pictures of their children and reassurances that the babies who had brought them so much suffering were safe and happy in adoptive families. It was always the mothers who came in wanting sealed adoption records opened just to see for themselves that their grown children had turned out okay. A mother never forgets. Somehow it seemed quite easy for the fathers to do so.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

If he chose to have sex with a woman and rely on her taking the birth control then he chose the possibility that a pregnancy could result. I say too bad for him.

Yep.

Any man that can't keep his pants zipped up and chooses not to use a condom takes the risk of having a child to support.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

I totally get what you guys are saying but what about those equal rights? Why can't a man force a woman to keep a baby that she might not want but he does? It DOES seems very one sided. I've been through something similar in my life so I can kinda see where this man is coming from. What about the couple who said the woman SAID she just did it for a check? I mean, that's really effed up. He did what he did but don't FORCE this man to be a part of something he doesn't want to be a part of. You just wanted his money? How triflin....and I know a lot of woman who have done this.

Well, until men can figure out how to carry and deliver the babies themselves, true equal rights will never happen.

But ultimately, there is no way for a woman to force a man to have a child. It's his decision. Either abstain, or use condoms. And even then there are sometimes accidents with condoms. The only true 100% guarantee that a man won't have children is to abstain. The same thing for a woman.

I've got a slightly different take on this. I don't think men should be allowed to get out of child support, but I DO think that men should have the first shot at any baby that might be adopted. They should be allowed to force a paternity test if they think it is theirs before an adoption moves forward. If they want the baby they should be allowed to take it and sue the mom for child support. I think men do get screwed when the babies get adopted against their wishes because the mom doesn't want to keep them.

I agree with this.

You are forgetting reproductive science here, a man found he was the father of twins after his ex wife forged his signature to use his frozen sperm. In the uk with IVF both parents have to sign to consent or the embryo doesn't get implanted. So what are you going to do about an ex who forges a signature to get pre frozen sperm?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...nged-wife-forged-signature-IVF-deception.html

If he didn't want children, then he should have made sure the frozen sperm was destroyed. Again, not protecting himself.

 

[ajk912]

I think you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Women want the right to choose? Great, then it's sexist to not let the guys have a right to choose, as well. If women can abort a baby without the dad's permission, a guy should be able to choose not to support the child he did not want to have. The guy wanted her to have an abortion because he KNEW he was unable/unwilling to support a child. Yet she chooses to have the child anyway, her choice, so her choice to support the child.

If you are right-to-lifer, then abortion becomes only for those cases where someone's life is at risk, and you play, you pay. Because a baby might be born, and you play the game than you better be ready to pay up. But that isn't this country right now. Maybe someday, but probably not. Right now, women have a right to choose so I think guys should have a right to choose, as well.