Anyone out there have no ambition in life?

[momof1princess]

i have the same problem. i've never known what i wanted to do with my life. in college, i took a business law class and loved it, so i went to a business college and got a legal secretarial degree, because i couldn't afford to move 3 hours away to go to law school. once i went to work in a law office, i found out it wasn't so much fun. i've been a sahm over 10 years, looked through multiple college catalogs, and can't find anything that strikes me as interesting. i feel useless, but the spark just isn't there.

 

[okeydokey]

Don't think of it as having no ambition. Think of it as being content with your life as it is.

Where I work they would pay for me to get a PhD or another advanced degree if I wanted it. I said, no thanks I'm good. My current job has flexible scheduling and fits my family's needs to a T. It's not a terribly exciting job but I love my coworkers. I'm quite content.

 

[Colleen27]

I would LOVE to spend my life caring for my home, future DH and future child, and study my ancient history on my own. But I'm often told that I'm too intelligent for that

Ugh, I HATE that line! I get it all the time even now. I was a honor student, full academic scholarship to a private college, etc. And for some reason, certain people (especially in my family) think that because I had the good fortune to be born reasonably bright I have to "do something" with my life, as though caring for children and a home is something best left to the less-intelligent.

 

[ZachnElli]

I can totally relate. I wonder if it has to do with spending energy on raising our kids and now that they need us a little less we feel restless and unsure of what to do. I feel like I should be doing something else now but I have no idea what it should be.

Me too. I dropped out of college. I think about going back, but just not ambitious enough, plus I don't have the money right now. I applied for one job recently, haven't heard anything. My DH really doesn't want me to go back to work, but with my youngest headed to kindergarten in the fall, I can't just sit home all day. I NEED something to do. Also, dh is telling me what hours I can and can't work, that's not working out to well for me.

 

[Colleen27]

Me too. I dropped out of college. I think about going back, but just not ambitious enough, plus I don't have the money right now. I applied for one job recently, haven't heard anything. My DH really doesn't want me to go back to work, but with my youngest headed to kindergarten in the fall, I can't just sit home all day. I NEED something to do. Also, dh is telling me what hours I can and can't work, that's not working out to well for me.

This is something else I just don't get. There's all this pressure on moms to return to work once their youngest starts school, just to have "something to do all day", but the demands of childrearing don't lighten at that point.

My school aged kids are just as demanding if not moreso than my toddler, just in different ways. One gets off the bus at 4, the other needs to be picked up from homework club at 4:40, except on the days they have scouts (different days, of course) when they need to be picked up at 5. They both have baseball on Tues & Thurs, one from 5 to 6:30 and the other from 7 to 8:30. One has soccer on Saturdays. One goes to church youth group on Wed. evenings. Then there are all the one-time things, scout camps and field trips and service projects. Over the summer, 4H and horseback riding lessons and swimming lessons and camp. And in the fall, football and soccer take the place of baseball. I don't want to be the mom trying to manage all of those things in the evenings after work, or stopping at McDs for dinner because there's no time left to cook.

I can find a million ways to fill my days while they're at school without getting a job that will limit my ability to do all of those things with/for my kids. And if I were to go back to work, the toddler would be the one I'd worry least about - she'd be happy at daycare. Making arrangements for the other two that wouldn't require they quit their activities would be the challenge.

 

[binny]

Me too. I dropped out of college. I think about going back, but just not ambitious enough, plus I don't have the money right now. I applied for one job recently, haven't heard anything. My DH really doesn't want me to go back to work, but with my youngest headed to kindergarten in the fall, I can't just sit home all day. I NEED something to do. Also, dh is telling me what hours I can and can't work, that's not working out to well for me.

Send him back here D, Ill smack him around for you
J/K

I still think we need our weekend away, there has to be something half way!

 

[FireDancer]

I'm very goal oriented and have a lot of ambition both professionally and personally. I don't think there is really anything wrong with having no professional ambition, some people just want a job and don't want to climb the corporate ladder, but having no ambition in anything I would see as a problem.

On the flip side if the only thing that defines you is your job I think that is also not healthy. I see so many people the define themselves in very narrow terms either by their jobs or, even worse, their kids. I see so many people that stop being Mary or Beth and start being John's mom. While being a parent, a <insert job here>, or anything else is a part of who you are along with your hobbies, friendships, accomplishments, and failures it shouldn't be the sole definition of you. I would never define myself through a third party.

 

[bettymae1121]

Are you my twin? Other than not graduating from college, you pretty much described me. I have no ambition either. I got very lucky and found my way into a profession that (for me) is easy enough to do in my sleep and allows me to work from home. To be honest, if I could retire today (I'll be 34 next month) I would. I wouldn't lay on the couch though, I'd be plenty active (voluteering, furthing my education - I love to learn, hobbies, etc.). I don't mind work, I guess I just don't like working, if that makes any sense.

Please understand, I'm not complaining about my life at all, I'm damn lucky and I know it. It's just if I could be free to do anything I wanted, I wouldn't be employed, at least not in the traditional sense.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

On the flip side if the only thing that defines you is your job I think that is also not healthy. I see so many people the define themselves in very narrow terms either by their jobs or, even worse, their kids. .

Why do you consider that worse?

 

[AshleyW]

Ugh. Thank God for this thread.

I had to register at 8am for classes this morning and it always stresses me out so bad. I don't get it. I did really well in high school.. I got an extremely high ACT score, honor roll, the whole nine yards. But I cannot for the life of me get my stupid associate's degree. Seriously, I've been out of high school for 5 years and have like 25 credits, most of which I got last semester while I start working on my nursing degreee. I wind up dropping classes because I can't really find anything I feel like I WANT to do.

I have a decent job right now, doing quality assurance at a call center. It pays okay. Some people would make it a career. I just don't know. Nothing has really "clicked" yet. I'd love to be a travel agent or something.. I think I've planned like 10 vacations for my coworkers. But even so, I don't think I'd do it as a career. It's just something I like doing.

I think I just need a kick in the butt to get going or something.

 

[CathrynRose]

She seemed to be at her happiest when she'd lost her job and my grandmother died; she just stayed home for a while, cleaning, working on the lawn/outdoors, taking the dog for car rides to go for coffee, playing Bejeweled on the computer...

.

This is me. I'm happy just "being". Living, enjoying hobbies, and quiet time. It (for me) is the most relaxing time of my life. Just being Cat.

When I was laid off, I painted, I read, I went online, I played with my hair (styling it different and such), watched guilty pleasure TV shows, laid on in the back yard with my dog, on a big blanket, cooked great dinners. I just was 'me'. It felt really good.

When I'm working, I feel I lose 'me' and I hate that. When I say I hate working, I hate losing me - that's what I hate.

 

[FireDancer]

Why do you consider that worse?

Because you are defining yourself via your relationship to someone else. At least your job is something you do. I think it is very strange to allow any relationship to someone else be the thing that most defines you. I never allow what I do or how I am related to someone else define me and I never will.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Don't think of it as having no ambition. Think of it as being content with your life as it is.

See that's the thing. I'm not sure if I should be content or not. I feel like I should be searching for something else. I can't "rest" in my contentment. Not sure if that makes sense.

 

[Planogirl]

It sounds to me like you've never found your path. I know that I haven't and maybe I never will. I just go to work (in fairness I have a horrible job) and watch the clock wishing that I could do more. I'd love to give something back personally but figuring out how is hard.

I hope that you figure it out.

 

[Wall-E1]

I used to have ambition and dreams when I was younger. Not anymore. Now, my only dream is to retire at as early an age as possible. I would like to begin my days by watching Regis and Kelly, then get in a quick game of tennis before my mid morning nap. Wake up and go out for lunch. Then, either some bowling or a movie. Come back home, hang out with friends and watch much more t.v. than I do now. Of course I would break up the monotony by taking several vacations a year.

Well, I guess after reading my own post - I do have ambitions after all.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I am currently going through this
I think I am actually depressed. I had DD when I was 20 I was in college, took 2 years off to stay with her and went back when she was 2. I majored in Education w/Special Ed cert/psychology. I graduated in Dec. I had an AWFUL student teaching experience, my co-op teacher basically looked at me like an aide that she got paid to have in the room. My supervisor and her were good friends. I'd leave every morning @ 7:45 and think of how much I would miss DD and then get home @ 5 and have tons of work to do so I wasn't spending any time with my family really. Me and fiance actually did not talk from Sept-December I was so high strung. I ended up getting into an altercation with my supervisor at the end, she accused me of just taking a day off after my last observation when in fact I was in school sick the day of the observation with a 102 fever (I know shouldn't have been there but I knew she was going to yell if I didn't show) the next day I did not go in, had a drs note and everything and she lowered my grade significantly, I had to fight that, I worked hard for so many years, but anyways, this is a whole other story.
So here I am, 4 months later and I really don't care to step foot back into a school (not to mention our new governor is cutting school fiances and the budgets around here did not pass). But at the same time I wish I had some kind of income to contribute to our family, but then I miss DD. Fiance doesn't really care that I stay home, he supports us, but I feel like a loser. Before I had DD I worked 2 jobs, went to school, and was doing student observations, I was always a high achiever and hard worker. I have been unable to sleep lately, just not sure what to do anymore. DD is not in school yet, she will be next year, but only half day.
I'm very torn and upset.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

See that's the thing. I'm not sure if I should be content or not. I feel like I should be searching for something else. I can't "rest" in my contentment. Not sure if that makes sense.

Sounds like you have some soul searching to do.

For me, I've always enjoyed writing. Am I going to make a career out of it? Probably not. In fact, for many years I gave it up. Just recently I started again. I've got so much now I'm filling up all of the space on my computer. Most of it probably won't see the light of day, but I enjoy doing it and it makes me feel fullfilled when I finish a piece. It might help to find something that you really enjoy doing, regardless of wether it will make you money or is something you "think" you should be doing. Instead, it should be something you're doing for the sheer love of it, kwim?

 

[yoopermom]

This is me. I'm happy just "being". Living, enjoying hobbies, and quiet time. It (for me) is the most relaxing time of my life. Just being Cat.

When I was laid off, I painted, I read, I went online, I played with my hair (styling it different and such), watched guilty pleasure TV shows, laid on in the back yard with my dog, on a big blanket, cooked great dinners. I just was 'me'. It felt really good.

When I'm working, I feel I lose 'me' and I hate that. When I say I hate working, I hate losing me - that's what I hate.

Cat, this brought tears to my eyes. My favorite book is the "Anne of Green Gables" series set in rural Canada in the early 1900s. People back then did a lot of what you mention, and just seem "happier". I've been laid off on and off the past few years and, honestly, LOVE being home! Thank you for putting what I feel into words.
Terri

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

“Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.”

“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find ''tomorrow'' on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ''If I had my life to live over again. ''Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”

Og Mandino

 

[angie@dvcstore]

After reading all of these post i don't feel so bad about myself because I've always felt this way too and I thought i was the only one, but its good to see that I'm not lol