Anyone out there have no ambition in life?

[NY Disney fan]

I want to know if there is something wrong with me. I've never had any ambition in life. I've never wanted to grow up and be "something". (Insert occupation here). I never wanted to go to college and when I did go to college I had no interest in majoring in anything. I picked my major at the last minute from the catalogue. When I graduated I started temping doing office work (clerical). 15 years later I'm still doing it. When I think about all the other things I could be doing, it doesn't interest me. Grad school doesn't entice me.

On the flip side, I'm a voracious reader and even graduated college with honors. I've had a steady work history and a stellar resume.

I have a nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be more ambitious but I always come up empty. Is it that I'm lazy? Is is that I'm depressed? Or do I just not want to do other things?

 

[Toad_Passenger]

You've got me pegged to a "T." I did go to College, but have done nothing with the degree I've earned. I've basically floated my way through routine office/IT jobs for the past 10 years. I've earned a good enough income...enough to get married and have 2 kids, but I'm really frightened about the future.

The current job I have isn't going to last forever. The owners are retiring in the next few years, and I just don't know what to do from there. I really don't like the industry, but everytime I sit down to think about WHAT I want to do, I have no idea. In addition, a lot of the things that sound interesting, I'm not qualified to do. There's no way I can afford to go back to school for another 4+ years, but it may come to that.

I refer to myself as a "jack" of all trades, because it seems like I've just dabbled all my life. As I said, it's frightening, because I don't think that's any way to go through life.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I want to know if there is something wrong with me. I've never had any ambition in life. I've never wanted to grow up and be "something". (Insert occupation here). I never wanted to go to college and when I did go to college I had no interest in majoring in anything. I picked my major at the last minute from the catalogue. When I graduated I started temping doing office work (clerical). 15 years later I'm still doing it. When I think about all the other things I could be doing, it doesn't interest me. Grad school doesn't entice me.

On the flip side, I'm a voracious reader and even graduated college with honors. I've had a steady work history and a stellar resume.

I have a nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be more ambitious but I always come up empty. Is it that I'm lazy? Is is that I'm depressed? Or do I just not want to do other things?

I'm not sure how old you are, but I didn't settle on career (or returning to college) until my late 30's. If you have an ambition to become ambitious, you might want to do some personality and other career-type tests -- it just sounds as though you haven't found your passion, yet.

 

[RadioNate]

I get ya. I do. I don't think I've ever had any career ambition. Like you, I went to college, graduated with honors and have had some pretty hefty jobs.

It is just that, a job, a career has never been all that important to me. Of course, it is important in the "I need money to live on" way but not in the "I love what I do and it fulfills me" way.

In fact, and this is too personal, but what the hell, my marriage right now is in serious crisis over this exact thing. My DH is ALL about his career, he is addicted to it, it defines who he is...and I don't get it at all! It has become a HUGE problem.
But I digress.

Don't get me wrong. I have hopes, dreams, things I love to do but none of them are really job related. I'm not lazy. I don't lay on the couch all day and watch TV. But at the same time, I'm nearly 35 and have zero clue what I want to be when I grow up.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

I'm the same way, no ambition to do anything but stay at home with the kids and volunteer at the nursing home once a week. I graduated high school and then worked in the clerical field until I had my first child. I think sometimes that I'm not a good role model for my daughters

 

[NY Disney fan]

RadioNate

 

[Colleen27]

I'm there too. I always knew what I wanted to do but it never really translated to professional/career ambition. I'm content with my life, dabbling in various sorts of writing as a freelancer and indulging my hobbies around the home and garden. But I'm in a position where I don't have to have any ambition; DH's income covers the important things and we both prefer one of us be home and available to the kids.

I didn't want to go to college, though; I'm more the "career student" type of unambitious, truth be told. I plan to go back to finish the English/sociology degree I didn't get as a young adult, not for professional reasons but for personal gratification because I still regret making that decision (solely for financial reasons I chose IT instead of following my interests). I don't plan to go back to full time work, though. I may only make a few thousand dollars a year as a freelancer, but the non-monetary value of my other hobbies effectively doubles that, and we just don't need/want the pressure and time crunch of being a dual-career household.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I'm the same way, no ambition to do anything but stay at home with the kids and volunteer at the nursing home once a week. I graduated high school and then worked in the clerical field until I had my first child. I think sometimes that I'm not a good role model for my daughters

I think if you are happy in what you do and full of love for them (and finanacially stable enough to provide them with the necessities), then you are a fine role model. Better to see a happy parent than a parent that hates waking up every day to go someplace they despise just for the paycheck.

I think so many people equate ambition or dreams with careers and money. I know that when I die, I don't want people to remember me for how much money I made or how high I rose on the corporate ladder. I'm going to wnat them to care about the kind of mother/ wife/ person I was.

For me, personally, my ambition is directly related to how it will benefit my family and the happiness it will bring us. Right now, a full time job anywhere would not be right for me. I love being home with my girls.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

This sounds like my mother and my DBF. My mother has always said she doesn't really want or care to do anything. She has no interests. She seemed to be at her happiest when she'd lost her job and my grandmother died; she just stayed home for a while, cleaning, working on the lawn/outdoors, taking the dog for car rides to go for coffee, playing Bejeweled on the computer...

I think maybe DBF actually does have some ambition. He hates his job and says he's not sure what to do. I did mention that maybe he just hasn't figured out what he really wants to do. He said, "I want to paint" (houses/rooms). I said, "So why don't you?" He just shrugged. I think he thinks it's not ambitious enough.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

This sounds like my mother and my DBF. My mother has always said she doesn't really want or care to do anything. She has no interests. She seemed to be at her happiest when she'd lost her job and my grandmother died; she just stayed home for a while, cleaning, working on the lawn/outdoors, taking the dog for car rides to go for coffee, playing Bejeweled on the computer...

I think maybe DBF actually does have some ambition. He hates his job and says he's not sure what to do. I did mention that maybe he just hasn't figured out what he really wants to do. He said, "I want to paint" (houses/rooms). I said, "So why don't you?" He just shrugged. I think he thinks it's not ambitious enough.

I have done the same thing your DBF does. As a PP said, so many people confuse ambition/success with making lots of money, and I think that's where I'm at right now. There are things I would love to do, but it would mean going back to school for a bit, and starting over on the pay-scale. There's also the idea that some of these jobs don't carry the "respect" that society seems to think is so important. In other words, people don't think a man, in their early-30's should be doing something, because he'll, "Never provide for a family that way."

It's all very disheartening, and only pushes me to further put things off, year after year.

 

[OK!]

I went back to college because I had been laid off from a well-paying job that I thought I'd have for the rest of my working life. The reason I went back was so I could make enough money to live on, not because I had this powerful drive to "make something of myself." Now, blessedly, I have the degree and a job that I love and I have no desire to move up in my department or challenge myself or anything. Mainly because some of the positions above mine require working in the office and I'm working from home now and couldn't be happier.

 

[mumom95]

I think a lot of people put way too much emphasis on a career having to define a person. And honestly, I think the people that act like you aren't something if you don't have some big career are people who are unhappy in life and just trying to make themself feel better by making other people feel bad.

I think having the ambition to be happy in life is all the ambition anyone really needs. And since different things make different people happy, there really is no one way of defining it.

I think what makes us happy will change throughout the different stages of our life, but as long as during each stage we are striving to find and do what brings us happiness, then we can consider ourselves ambitious.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Believe in who you are. If you aren't happy with that, then change it. But if you are happy with who you are, don't let what other people think bring you down.

 

[disneydreamersx4]

thank you xoprincessmomxo

 

[iwrbnd]

I just told my husband this last night! I said "I think I'm lazy!" All the jobs I've had have been very involved where I have to do a lot of planning even on my days off. (teaching) In reality, I dream about having a job where I punch in and punch out, mindless, like maybe standing at an assembly line and putting pieces together!!! My husband says I would be miserable but the truth is I don't think I would! I feel lazy that I don't want all the responsibility anymore!

 

[Colleen27]

I'm the same way, no ambition to do anything but stay at home with the kids and volunteer at the nursing home once a week. I graduated high school and then worked in the clerical field until I had my first child. I think sometimes that I'm not a good role model for my daughters

I don't think being a good role model hinges on professional success or ambition but rather on contributing in a positive way to your family. Our culture is very money-focused and tends to devalue non-monetary contributions like raising children and volunteering, but few would argue against the importance of those things.

 

[MushyMushy]

That's me. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me because of it. The strongest desire I had to do something was music, and I even made it to college (1 of only 4 accepted to the program!), but I don't know if I burned out too fast or became disillusioned with it or what, but I gave it up shortly after and gave it up for good. Ever since then, nothing has felt right for me. Thought about becoming a writer, then a lawyer, but I always pooped out before I achieved anything.

Out of all these years (I'm 43), teaching has been the only thing I've really set my mind to doing. I got my masters degree and loved every minute of being in the classroom, but now my roadblock is lack of available jobs! I can count on one hand the number of graduate school classmates who are actually teaching right now. I feel like time is passing me by -- fewer jobs become available while more and more fresh graduates are flooding the job market. It's so depressing.

Anyway, didn't mean to step into your vent. But yeah, I do get you.

 

[RadioNate]

I think so many people equate ambition or dreams with careers and money. I know that when I die, I don't want people to remember me for how much money I made or how high I rose on the corporate ladder. I'm going to wnat them to care about the kind of mother/ wife/ person I was.

For me, personally, my ambition is directly related to how it will benefit my family and the happiness it will bring us. Right now, a full time job anywhere would not be right for me. I love being home with my girls.

This too is exactly how I feel. I just wish my DH saw it and shared the same ambition. His parents are insanely career oriented (so much so that they live in 2 different cities) so he comes by it honestly but never in the last 10 years has it caused such a strain.

Again, too much of my personal info but today I really needed to feel like it was ok to feel the way I do. That I wasn't alone in having ambition that didn't revolve around career.

I have done the same thing your DBF does. As a PP said, so many people confuse ambition/success with making lots of money, and I think that's where I'm at right now. There are things I would love to do, but it would mean going back to school for a bit, and starting over on the pay-scale. There's also the idea that some of these jobs don't carry the "respect" that society seems to think is so important. In other words, people don't think a man, in their early-30's should be doing something, because he'll, "Never provide for a family that way."

It's all very disheartening, and only pushes me to further put things off, year after year.

I totally understand how you feel. I think the things I am drawn too aren't 'good enough.' That they aren't things people make careers out of. The best jobs I've had are things like waitressing and working retail. Truth be told I hated the big fancy high paying job that I got the degree for. It was stressful and no fun.

And I get what you mean about pushing things off. I've done it year after year. My DH's career has required several moves and by the time I got my footing in a new place, I wasn't sure I had the time to complete additional schooling or establish myself in a career before we had to move again.

I really needed this thread today. That sounds so dumb but in light of everything going on in my personal life, I was really starting to feel like there was something wrong with me.

 

[binny]

I get ya. I do. I don't think I've ever had any career ambition. Like you, I went to college, graduated with honors and have had some pretty hefty jobs.

It is just that, a job, a career has never been all that important to me. Of course, it is important in the "I need money to live on" way but not in the "I love what I do and it fulfills me" way.

In fact, and this is too personal, but what the hell, my marriage right now is in serious crisis over this exact thing. My DH is ALL about his career, he is addicted to it, it defines who he is...and I don't get it at all! It has become a HUGE problem.
But I digress.

Don't get me wrong. I have hopes, dreams, things I love to do but none of them are really job related. I'm not lazy. I don't lay on the couch all day and watch TV. But at the same time, I'm nearly 35 and have zero clue what I want to be when I grow up.

I can totally relate. I wonder if it has to do with spending energy on raising our kids and now that they need us a little less we feel restless and unsure of what to do. I feel like I should be doing something else now but I have no idea what it should be.

 

[acename]

I'm the same way, no ambition to do anything but stay at home with the kids and volunteer at the nursing home once a week. I graduated high school and then worked in the clerical field until I had my first child. I think sometimes that I'm not a good role model for my daughters

I'm in the same boat. I went to college, got married while I was in college and nearly finished. Then I got pregnant with my daughter, and now all I really want to do is stay home and be a mom. My husband gets that and is supportive, but he's pretty much the only one. Everyone in my family is all over me to finish college. I only have a year left if I do the major I was in, but honestly, I didn't really like it. I just didn't know what else I wanted to do.

I don't see why so many people think there's something wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom. I really can't think of another job I'd rather do.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Hm, maybe I also have "no ambition" Last year when I was laid off, while spending my days looking for work, I also cared for my aging dog, cleaned the house, did laundry, cooked, studied history...and I think that was the happiest I've ever been. I have returned to work, and my mood is much worse. I'm tired and stressed and crabby all the time now. Like some of you have said, I also do not want a stressful, heavy-responsibility job (except motherhood). I would LOVE to spend my life caring for my home, future DH and future child, and study my ancient history on my own. But I'm often told that I'm too intelligent for that