Anyone live in NYC?

[Desnik]

Anyone here live and raise kids in Manhattan? If you do would you mind sharing the pros/cons, why you choose to live in the city?
I guess anyone living and raising kids in a big city can answer, but I am specifically looking for opinions on Manhattan.
TIA!!

 

[LJC1861]

Let me start by saying that I do not have children, but did live in a neigborhood that had lots of families with small children.

Manhattan is prohibitively expensive. Apartments, cars, public transportation, groceries, nannies, schools other than public, you name it.

Finding affordable housing for anyone, let alone families with children can be a huge challenge. Apartments are tiny, unless you have the financial resources to afford a luxury property with space. I have known families that have had 2 teenage girls share an 8x10' room. Talk about lack of privacy! In our apartment we used every square inch that we could for storage and had all of our bedroom furniture up on 5" risers so we could get more storage units underneath.

Depending on the neighborhood, grocery shopping can be a challenge...not to mention amazingly expensive. We used to take the car ( which we parked at a friend's house on Staten Island) once a month over to New Jersey and stock up on stuff. Even with gas and tolls it was still much much cheaper to do it that way. Now, we are 2 adults....with children I just don't know.

Now on to kid stuff. Public schools are a mixed bag...some great some lousy. Competition for the good ones is fierce. Private schools again are amazingly expensive and often very hard to get in to. Play time is arranged by parents, and lots of kids are shuttled from activity to activity by a nanny or au pair. Now, there is a huge amount of culture to take advantage of here in NYC, but again it is VERY expensive.

All in all, if I was a parent I would think twice about raising my child in a city. In general kids cannot go out to play unless supervised and I have always viewed city kids as somewhat sheltered. But, as I said for a family with the right resources it could be the perfect place

 

[crazyme5kids]

My oldest and dearest friend is raising two children in NYC. Some days she hates it, other days she loves it. Her oldest will be starting kindergarten, public school is not an option. Private schools are expensive and she said the whole application process is exhasting and stressful. Basic things like grocery shopping and doing laundry are a pain in the neck. The logistics of getting around the city is a pain too when you are dealing with strollers etc... Just small things, but on a regular basis they add up. Getting around will get easier as the kids get older though. Their apartment is now too small for the four of them. She inherited it from her grandmother so her expenses are real, real affordable.

On the plus side is all the wonderful things culture wise that NYC has to offer. They can always find something to do. She also loves her friends which will be hard for her to give up.

 

[PatriciaH]

My sister and I were born and raised in NYC (Queens, NY.) I loved growing up in the city and miss a lot of things about it. Too expensive and dirty for DH and I now I went to private (Catholic) grade school and high school. High school was awesome and better than my private college. Loved the public transportation and did not get a drivers license till age 25 when I lived in MA We grew up in a really nice upscale neighborhood in Queens. It was nice to go to school and work in Manhattan but come home to trees, parks and grass. I don't know if I would have wanted to live in Manhattan unless I had big bucks. I think growing up in NY made me outgoing, cultured, inquisitive, artistic and definitely not a pushover! My sister refuses to leave even though mom and dad are here in FL too.

 

[scrump]

I am by birth a city girl, born and raised in downtown Chicago, and currently live in Manhattan. I grew up hearing people tell my parents that you can't raise a family in the city (too much violence, drugs, etc), and I take that as seriously as people who say that "having one child does not a family make" (yes I'm also an only child.)

The big objective cons would be cost and quality of public education, depending on where you are. I think the rest is pretty subjective to what your personal tastes and preferences are. You or your kids might love open space and lots of nature, so that might not be a good fit.

I do think culture is relatively cheap in the city. I grew up in the theater districts (chicago), and always bought rush/same day tickets to the opera, musical theater, symphonies. If you're thinking manhattan specifically, culture is probably the cheapest in the world when you factor in discounts and the flexibility locals have to take advantage of those discounts. Musems are oftentimes free or "suggested donations". You can go to the Met Opera for $15, rush broadway theater tickets can be bought for roughly 50% off (granted, the sellout productions will offer less discounts), there are good and diverse cheap eats if you know where to go. Considering that these are world-famous production companies, I think it's a steal. But that stuff doesn't mean anything unless it's important to your kids' upbringing.

Also, I think the transportation is quite reasonable. In what other city can you go wherever you want to go for $2? I've lived abroad, and while I think the NY subway system is dirty and pretty crappy sometimes, it's still a pretty good deal compared to some privatized subway systems in Europe and Asia.

All in all, if I was a parent I would think twice about raising my child in a city. In general kids cannot go out to play unless supervised and I have always viewed city kids as somewhat sheltered. But, as I said for a family with the right resources it could be the perfect place

As with anything, I feel strongly that it's a preference. I don't agree that city kids are more sheltered than anybody else. In my experience, I've dealt with many people from smaller towns who seemed sheltered because they were not able to deal with diversity of people, religion or lifestyle. It would be hard to not confront these differences at some point given the diversity in NYC.

 

[Desnik]

Thanks for all the opinions and info!

The reason I asked this question is because our house is on the market and the more and more we thought about where we are going to move, the more Manhattan made sense for us. The house we are living in is #3 for us, not to mention all the other places we have lived in. We move alot, but usually in the same county. Our kids are 8 and almost 3. We have lived here for 2 years and DH can't do the 2 hour commute, eachway everyday anymore. It has gotten to be very expensive here. Our taxes increased $3000 in the past 2 years! It just isn't worth it for us to stay. But, when we thought about going back to where our families are, the prices are so crazy. We were outbid for a house that was $500,000! The bidding is still going on and the house needs work! I'm so sick of it all.

So, our thoughts for moving to Manhattan are these:
It would be for a short period of time. 1-3 years tops. We could pay off all our bills, be debt free, and still have a nice chunk of money to put away. From our calculations we would be saving $2500 per month!! I know it sounds unreal but we would save that much even if we are paying $3000 a month in rent. We would only need 1 car, so we would save a ton there too. We have lived in an apartment before, a townhouse and 2 houses. My kids never play in the backyard! They would much rather be going somewhere or doing something than playing in the grass! DH works in Manhattan so no more commute for him!! And me, well I was raised in the Bronx, so I am a city girl at heart.
After our car accident, alot changed for us. I really think this would be the best for us right now.
School is really important too. We researched, talked with alot of people and found 3 public schools that are very good, the best in the city.
As for being sheltered, well right now in my DD's whole shool there are probably 10 minorities!!! That's not normal to me! I want to protect my kids, but not completely shelter them. I love the fact that I grew up with so much diversity and culture. I use to hop on the train and spend hours in Greenwich village!

As far as the day to day things, like food shopping. Well, you do alittle at a time. I'm a SAHM so it's not a big deal for me. Also I would never get involved in the whole private school thing. I know how crazy it is. I am comfortable with the 3 elementary schools we choose. The areas they are in are very nice as well. DH and I know the city very well and are use to NYC prices. That also is not a big deal to us. Laundry, well we are looking into places that either have a unit in the apartment, or on the same floor. Door man buildings that have a pool, rec room, play room for the kids, roof deck. We really don't mind a small place either. The one thing that is bothersome for both my husband and myself is that the kids will probably have to share a room. We are really trying hard to find a 3 bedroom, but that might not happen. This really bothers DH more than it does me. DD doesn't mind and she is actually excited. She loves the city.
I just think of all the wonderful things we can do together as a family. Like the shows, museums, etc... Not to mention all the food!!LOL
Thanks for letting me blab on and on!

I'd still welcome any advice or opinions from those that live in Manhattan.

 

[dcgrumpy]

$3000 a month for an apartment big enough for 2 kids in Mahattan ?

 

[RickinNYC]

$3000 a month for an apartment big enough for 2 kids in Mahattan ?

At bare minimum, yes, in Manhattan. In fact, good friends were paying $4,800 month rent for a two bedroom. Granted, it was a beautiful, brand new, door man building in an up and coming neighborhood. Nevertheless, they just bought a place on the upper east side due to sky rocketing $$ for rentals. Don't even ask what they paid for a three bedroom condo though. I choked when they told me.

That's why I live in a brownstone in Forest Hills, Queens. Much, much cheaper.

 

[dcgrumpy]

That was my whole point Rick.

 

[diskids2]

I read both of your posts, the original and the followup and I still would not do it. There has got to be a better answer. If you are considering paying $3000 a month to RENT an apartment, why not try westchester county and rent a home for less, better schools for the 1-3 years. The commute will not be that bad. For that matter, there is a new apartment building in New rochelle that has three bedrooms for $3000 an month and it is right across from the metro north train station.

 

[Desnik]

DH won't use public transportation. If he doesn't live in Manhattan, he has to drive to work because of his job. He is claustrophobic and won't go on trains, planes, elevators. No offense, but we would not go to Westchester, I'll just leave it at that. The other option I was talking about, where the housing prices are crazy is Rockland county, where we lived before. DH will only consider renting if it is in Manhattan. Renting for a short time was my idea.

As far as having 2 kids in an apartment. We really evaluated how we live, not what we think we should have by others standards. What space we actually use. The living room and the bedrooms to sleep! We are always out and about doing something. I don't cook, so a small kitchen is fine. Yes the rooms would be smaller, but our quality of life would be so much better.

DH has a great, stable job in the city. We could go higher than the $3000. It may sound alot, and it is, and it may not get a big apartment, but we're not really concerned about the size too much. I am a super organized person and even with 2 kids, there is no clutter anywhere! DH says if anyone can make living in a small apartment with 2 kids work, it would be his wife!!LOL

I really appreciate all the comments. I do not want to go ahead and do this with rose colored glasses. I know our lives will be completely different. Last Sept. my family and I almost died in a horific car accident. As long as we are together, all is good. We really look at life differently and don't want to live our lives like what we "should be doing". Like the big house in the suburbs, SUV, large yard. Been there, done that and it isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's just not us.

 

[RickinNYC]

That was my whole point Rick.

Oops! Gotcha!

 

[palmtreegirl]

Good luck with your decision!

 

[scrump]

We really look at life differently and don't want to live our lives like what we "should be doing". Like the big house in the suburbs, SUV, large yard. Been there, done that and it isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's just not us.

There was a NYTimes article on exactly this. They interviewed several families who had moved from the city to the NY suburbs, and then back to the city because they were not entirely sold on the suburban experience. I can try and find it, but i think since it's more than a couple weeks old, there may be a fee involved in retrieving the article.

I remember the last paragraph because they quoted a guy as saying that he moved to the suburbs because he thought it was the thing to do after he started a family. His advice to many young families making the same decision was to move to the suburbs for a year and to see if it's for you. If not, it'll be out of your system, and you can comfortably move back to the city.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Kind of a switch on your story...we just moved to South Florida last month after having a baby in Mahattan. We moved with work, not by choice, it just happened. In our opinion, we miss NYC terribly, but both lifestyles have a lot going for them.

We absolutley loved the frentic pace of New York City. Living with a baby was a cinch, although we did feel a bit out of place in many of our favorite upscale restaurants with the baby. Some flat out said "no kids". We have many friends with kids and there are tons of activities for families. That being said, the city is very dirty...it's just a matter of 8 million people living together in a small area. If your husband has hang ups about public transportation and is claustrophobic, just to let you know...life in NYC might not be for him. There isn't a whole lot of space to actually get away from people...they're everywhere. Fortunately, almost everyone I met was extremely friendly (the myth of the mean New Yorker is just that...a myth) and we were never the victim of crime, aside from an occasional graphitti artist spray painting our $3,200/month, 1,000 sq. ft., 2 bedroom Upper West Side apartment exterior.

Good luck with your decision!! I think that regardless of where you live, it's up to you to make the most out of it.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

At bare minimum, yes, in Manhattan. In fact, good friends were paying $4,800 month rent for a two bedroom. Granted, it was a beautiful, brand new, door man building in an up and coming neighborhood.

Whoa!! That is crazy expensive. For someone with a family, on the Upper West Side, where I suggest anyone with a family should live, you can get a great place for much less! If you want to live in the Village or some of the trendier downtown locales, you'll be paying that kind of rent, but then again, you won't have the same easy access to a whole lot of kid friendly activities.

 

[diskids2]

OP, no offense taken to Westchester - We LOVE It here. Everyone has their own opinions, which is why you asked everyone for theirs.

Good luck in whatever you do.

 

[Desnik]

diskids2
Nothing wrong with Westchester, and it's not that we have a reason to not like it.(Gosh, I feel stupid, I really don't want to knock where somebody lives ) Our reasoning for it not being an option is because if we were to stay in a "suburb" we would go back to Rockland because of family and familiarity. Also we wouldn't rent in the suburbs. We can't afford to buy what we would love in Manhattan(a brownstone)so renting was/is the only choice.

 

[RickinNYC]

Whoa!! That is crazy expensive. For someone with a family, on the Upper West Side, where I suggest anyone with a family should live, you can get a great place for much less! If you want to live in the Village or some of the trendier downtown locales, you'll be paying that kind of rent, but then again, you won't have the same easy access to a whole lot of kid friendly activities.

Funny you should say that because they were living at 26th and 6th, hence that ridiculous rent.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Funny you should say that because they were living at 26th and 6th, hence that ridiculous rent.

Oh yeah....that'll do it. I would love to live downtown if I were single without kids! I've got a friend who lives on the corner of 14th and 9th, right across the street from Vento, on the edge of the Meatpacking District. She got an incredible deal on a one bedroom place a few years back for $350,000!!! The building was rumored to have a mold issue that proved to be wrong. She took a bit of a gamble, but it sure paid off bigtime! I can't imagine what that place is going for now!