These are hilarious!
I guess I'm pretty lucky with DH. When he falls asleep, he's out for the count and pretty much doesn't move for the rest of the night. We only had one incident in our years of being together than I could have KILLED him for. One night he woke me up out of a sound sleep with his hands on my shoulder and his face right up close to mine. His eyes were wide open and he said, "You need to know!"
Well, that woke me up the rest of the way and I said, as gently as I could, "What (hubby's name)? What do I need to know?"
He said again, even more forcefully and urgently
"YOU NEED TO KNOW!!!"
And he's freaking me out now. I'm wide awake thinking OMG, something's happened or there's something he hasn't told me and now feels so guilty that he can't stop from telling me and it's going to be horrible and I'd better brace myself. Maybe he killed someone in the line of duty and never told anyone and now he's telling me. OMG OMG OMG! OK, just relax and deal, relax and deal. Breathe. We'll get through this.
So I repeated, as calmly and as gently possible, "Yes (hubby's name), I'm listening. What do I need to know??"
And he said, "The grubs from Franklin's aren't fresh. You have to go to Jimmies."
Then the damn fool let go of me, rolled over and fell back to sleep



while I laid there wondering what the heck all THAT was about and trying to calm down.
When we woke up that morning, I asked him what the heck that was all about and he didn't remember. He said he thought he remembered dreaming something about fishing

but couldn't really recall and told me I should have woken him up and made him remember where this "jimmies" place was so he could go there for bait next time.
He got a pillow in the face for that remark.
Fortunately (for both of us) that hasn't happened again and DH sleeps like the dead now.
