Anyone have problems taking their kids outta school for vacation?

[sk!mom]

Under normal circumstances we have never taken our children out of school for vacation. Our DS is in college and he never missed for vacation. This year is not normal. My DH has a conference at WDW in May. Because of a school holiday, we can take DD out for two days and have a 5 day trip. We can't pass it up. Her school and teacher will be supportive. She's an excellent student and is normally only absent for illnesses.

It is very likely a one time deal!

 

[golfgal]

The main difference of opinion I see here is those ok with taking their kids out of school have kids in the elementary grades. As the kids get older, it is just harder to take the kids out. DS is in 7th grade and missed 3 days of school a couple weeks ago because he was sick. It took him 3 solid days to make up the work missed. Had we been on vacation, he would have spent half of each day doing homework. It just isn't worth the hassle.

A lot of families in the twins' school take kids out for vacations. For the most part the teachers are ok with that, especially since we don't have a spring break of any kind. They do, however, have a hard time letting kids out of school for things like ice skating lessons or hair cuts. They have cracked down on these kinds of absences.

We took our kids to a non-Disney vacation last winter only because it was a work trip for DH and they paid for everything. We were able to visit some close friends that we hadn't seen in a while. We couldn't pick the dates. It was a LOT of work getting the homework done, but it was shortly after Christmas and we were able to get most of the homework done over Christmas vacation. Would I do it again, probably not.

One school at which I taught had a policy of 8 absences. After 8 absences in a trimester (24 days/year), you failed. Everything was considered an absence. If you were sick, the absences were excused IF you had a dr's note (and the dr's didn't give them out very freely). The school board stood tough on this policy (this was for the high school only). The only exception they made while I was there was for a boy that qualified to swim in the para-Olympics in Australia. He was going to miss 3 weeks, but that was really a special circumstance. Parents were taking kids out of school for hair cuts, TANNING appointments, you name it. Even Dr and Dentist appoinments were not acceptable. The business commmunity was forced to accomodate the school schedule. Dr's and Dentist started offering later appointments (would open at 10 some days and stay open until 7 pm). It was the best thing that happened to the school. They also altered the school calendar so they had a mid-Feb break so people could take a family trip at a non-peak time. After the initial presentation of the policy, they really didn't have any real complaints from the parents. It took the pressure off the parents for those kids that wanted to "sleep in" instead of going to school. One student I had decided to challenge the policy and took a hunting trip which would have put him over the 8 days. He thought he was going to be able to appeal to the school board, nope, he was a senior and failed a trimester. He didn't graduate.

 

[plutospup]

DD7 will miss 4 days in December. Fortunately, DMIL is a retired elementary school teacher WHO WILL(!!!) tutor her during vacation. For us it's a situation that works well - DD7 will keep up with her school work, she gets to spend time with her grandmother, and we all enjoy a family vacation.

 

[goofy4tink]

To all you teachers out there.....I have never asked for any special packet of work for my dd when she is going to miss school for vacation. I only ask that they make a pile of papers that she would have gotten if she had been in class. Then when she gets back, she makes up the homework and misses a recess to make up any quiz/tests. This has worked very nicely and it doesn't seem to make more work for her teachers. They also seem to appreciate it.

Yes, I know that we should be teaching our children responsibility and committement. My dd understands these concepts. But she also knows that there can be exceptions to the rules. I have actually let her miss a day of school just as a 'mental health day'. Yes, school is important but in the big picture I still don't think that my dd is going to be impacted in a negative way if she misses 4-5 days of school for a vacation. We can not afford the tripled airfare that is charged during winter vacation times. So, we do what we can. Do I advocate that you all take your kids out of school for 2 weeks every year for a trip to WDW? No. But please don't try to tell me that my dd will be less of a 'good citizen' so to speak if we choose to miss a little school.

 

[eddieras]

Yes, I know that we should be teaching our children responsibility and committement. My dd understands these concepts. But she also knows that there can be exceptions to the rules. I have actually let her miss a day of school just as a 'mental health day'. Yes, school is important but in the big picture I still don't think that my dd is going to be impacted in a negative way if she misses 4-5 days of school for a vacation.

i completely agree! responsibility is very important-- but equally important is being able to look at a situation, digest all available information and figure out what is the best action for those particular variables. For me, i have no problem taking my kids (they are young, tho - ask me in a few years!) out of school for a "special" event.

 

[missypie]

For those of you who may routinely take your kids out of school early at the end of the semester or school year for vacation, just make sure you know the school's policy before you pay for plane tickets or put down any non-refundable deposits. Our middle and high schools make it very clear that they will NOT give finals early (or late) (I assume exceptions are made for health emergencies)...if you leave on vacation before finals are given, your kid misses finals, which will probably reslut in a very low, if not failing grade.

 

[BostonRob]

To all you teachers out there.....I have never asked for any special packet of work for my dd when she is going to miss school for vacation. I only ask that they make a pile of papers that she would have gotten if she had been in class. Then when she gets back, she makes up the homework and misses a recess to make up any quiz/tests. This has worked very nicely and it doesn't seem to make more work for her teachers. They also seem to appreciate it.

Yes, I know that we should be teaching our children responsibility and committement. My dd understands these concepts. But she also knows that there can be exceptions to the rules. I have actually let her miss a day of school just as a 'mental health day'. Yes, school is important but in the big picture I still don't think that my dd is going to be impacted in a negative way if she misses 4-5 days of school for a vacation. We can not afford the tripled airfare that is charged during winter vacation times. So, we do what we can. Do I advocate that you all take your kids out of school for 2 weeks every year for a trip to WDW? No. But please don't try to tell me that my dd will be less of a 'good citizen' so to speak if we choose to miss a little school.

Well, as I said in my other post, this thread is about opinions, so take my post as nothing more than one man's opinion. Since you've given us so much info on your personal situation, I'm going to give you my opinion on that.

It is my opinion that a 'mental health day' is a horrible precedent to set at any age, but for all practical purposes, it is no different than pulling your kid out of school for a vacation. Both things reinforce to the child that personal responsibility (in this case, the responsibility to attend school every day) can be set aside for planned or spontaneous reasons. This is not what I want to teach my daughter.

We all agree that Disney World is great and can be educational. And I have no doubt that diligent parents can work with teachers to make sure that their children don't miss any work while on vacation at Disney World or anywhere else. But I think this is all beside the point. No doubt that 20 years from now they will remember their wonderful family vacations more than any lesson they attended (or missed) in school. But my concern is they will also remember that their #1 responsibility was negotiable.

Once again, these are just my opinions. Yes, I am fortunate to have a job with a certain degree of flexibility when scheduling vacations. But I've always considered quality of life matters when chosing a job, because family is more important.

 

[TupperMom7]

We live in upstate NY and our school district (not sure if it is the whole state) says that taking your child out of school for vacation is considered an unexcused absence. Students can only have just so many unexcused absences and then a letter is sent home from the principal. If it continued then further steps are taken by the district up to and including notifying social services, but your kid would have to miss weeks and weeks of school.

We are taking 5 children out of school for 6 days. It is for the week prior to their Spring vacation and we are leaving Friday so they miss that day too. I haven't contacted their teachers yet - plan to at the end of March, to ask for work for them to complete while we are away. Being that the week they are missing is right before vacation, I don't think they will have that much work.

 

[Staples5705]

Growing up, my parents took my brother & I out of school at least one week during the school year. This practice went on from early Elementary through High School. As youngsters, my parents would work with the teachers planning our assignments while we were on vacation. As my brother & I entered High School, we were responsible for coordinating with our teachers.

In addition to our regular school work, my parents required that both my brother and I choose an educational topic on which to write and present a report to our class. While on vacation, we would collect materials relevant to the selected topic. Mind you, this was in ADDITION to our assigned homework from the teacher. Needless to say, our grades never suffered and teachers were always impressed by the additional work.

The first year that Colombia Space Shuttle was scheduled to launch from Kennedy Space Center, I wrote a paper about space exploration and the science behind the space shuttle. My science teacher was very impressed. Since I HATED science with a passion, but found the space shuttle fascinating I was able to salvage a low grade and increase it to an "A." I also did reports on the Louisiana Purchase, Gettysburg, Building of the Hoover Dam, Dinasours (we did an Archeology dig in the Bad Lands), Lake Agassi, French Fur Traders, etc.

I am a strong advocate for parent involvement and especially family vacations. My dad worked for a major airline and we also loved to go camping. We took at least 3 to 4 weeks of vacation each year, alternating between flying and driving. Those vacations have more personal meaning and educational value than anything I ever really learned in the classroom.

Travel exposes an individual to different cultures (yes, even w/in the US!!!), history, math, science, literature, foreign language (French, German, Dutch, Spanish, Sign Language - all languages I had exposure to while traveling in the US). There is also a social aspect that just cannot be taught in a classroom which a well rounded student will learn while traveling.

My FI is amazed at the places and experiences I've had and loves to hear the stories regarding my travels. Growing up he went on only 1 family vacation! After listening to me, my excitement for traveling and the adventures I've had, we fully plan to travel at least once or twice a year and will not discontinue the practice once we have children.

Pam

 

[JMCDAD]

Just thought it bears repeating
This discussion is not about the value of family time and family vacations
I think we all agree that both are tremendously important. (thats why we're on this site to begin with)
But unless you have a job/reason that doesn't allow you to plan vacations when your children are off from school, it is a choice you make for convenience, bottomline.
Me and my wife plan our vacations around school not during it, I feel it does set a bad prescedent. But thats just our opinion.
I don't understand all the posts that go on about how important family vacations are ,how educational they are.
Are they only important and educational if you are missing school at the same time?

 

[marypops!]

in my school your allowed 2 weeks out for a holiday and no longer
but i still need permission to leave but my head of year wont let me go

but i think it's because of the time i've taken out of school (more then 2 weeks about 1 month and over)

 

[ralfrick]

Taking kids out of school for Disney solely to avoid crowds sends the wrong message about school.

And that's what the vast majority of people are doing, no matter how much they try that "family time" line.

Anyone who scheduled their trip on a day that was originally not scheduled but became a snow day or has a dying child in the family is excused from the above statement.

Cheers.

 

[DLKT]

Interesting.
Having never gone on vacation with my family as a kid except during the summer because that's when the company my Mother worked for shutdown and they all had vacation, I was much surprised when my DW told me that there might be an issue with taking the kids out of school for a Disney Vacation.
I thought she was joking!
Having come from a divorced family and seeing the effects of family troubles first hand it had never even occurred to me that spending time with family would be below the importance of school.
(and I really hope I make no grammar errors on this post!)

It also never occurred to me that it would "inconvenience" teachers that had to set aside missed lessons for vacationing students.
Well BOO HOO! Too bad! That's your freaking job.
When my employees get back from their vacations, guess what? I have to spend some extra time and effort to get them back up to speed. And I don't get all of July and August off either, babies!

I think that if you are smart enough to figure out how to even afford to go to Disney and are intelligent enough to participate on this Board then you're going to make whatever the best decision is for your kids.

 

[Idahomom]

Just thought it bears repeating
This discussion is not about the value of family time and family vacations
I think we all agree that both are tremendously important. (thats why we're on this site to begin with)
But unless you have a job/reason that doesn't allow you to plan vacations when your children are off from school, it is a choice you make for convenience, bottomline.
Me and my wife plan our vacations around school not during it, I feel it does set a bad prescedent. But thats just our opinion.
I don't understand all the posts that go on about how important family vacations are ,how educational they are.
Are they only important and educational if you are missing school at the same time?

JMCDAD, I think (imho ) that maybe the reason in this particular thread that some of us have "gone on" about how important family vacations are and how they can even be educational, might be in defense to our decision to take our children out of school for a vacation. I know after reading some of the posts that I feel like I have to defend my choice to allow my children to miss a few days of school, that somehow my priorities aren't in order and that I may even be setting a bad prescedent for my children. I know I have my priorites in order and constantly strive to set a great prescedent for my children.
I just hope we all aren't judging each other for the choice we make of whether or not to take family vacations during the school year. It sounds like we're all passionate parents, but should agree to kindly disagree that for some of us we're okay with taking our kids out of school and for some of us it's not okay.

 

[eddieras]

At the risk of sounding rude- i really don't understand the rational for not "setting a precedent" I’ve had this same conversation with my wife.

As parents, WE are the decision makers -- so for whom exactly are we setting a precedent? Ourselves?? I think not. Obviously, one may answer 'the children'. but again, parents should be the decision makers--what may be right today (eg taking the kids out of school) may NOT be right at a different time. It is entirely up to us as parents to make decisions and these decisions should be based on numerous factors. This includes (for me and my family) ages of the kids, grades they are in, how 'good' of a student they are and of course, the teacher's opinion.
imho

 

[JMCDAD]

IDAHOMOM
I agree
I don't think one is blanketly right and one is wrong
As parents we have an opinion and make our own decisions

 

[ktink]

My DD8 missed 5 days of school in Sept for our WDW vacation. In our school district, they allow you to fill out a Trip Approval Form and if it is approved your child is allowed to make up their school work. We are also planning our next trip for the week of Labor Day so she will be out for 4 days. I would like to have a normal summertime vacation but my DH's line of work doesn't allow us to do so. The school understands that as my DH's line of work is our city's main tourist resource, in fact the schools here close for 2 weeks for the TN walking horse celebration. I understand that when DD gets into middle and high school we won't feel as comfortable with her missing school.

 

[Matt'sMom]

Just thought it bears repeating
... unless you have a job/reason that doesn't allow you to plan vacations when your children are off from school, it is a choice you make for convenience, bottomline.

There are a lot of very constructive reasons why some of us may choose to take our children 'out of school' in order to go on educational trips with their family... and mere 'convenience' is not usually one of them. Please be respectful, and do not assume that those of us who do this are so utterly shallow.

A lot of thought and effort goes into our value-based decisions regarding taking our DS on multiple educational trips throughout the year... and we do indeed take most of those trips while he is on school break. We would not be taking him out of school to go to WDW if we did not genuinely believe that doing so is an appropriate & constructive supplement to his classroom education. And our school district fully supports this as an 'approved' absense for educational purposes.

Traveling to WDW during the Summer months simply is not a realistic option for our family, for a variety of personal reasons (which I don't feel need be shared on a public forum such as this). I think it is fine if your family chooses to only visit WDW at times when your school is on break, if that is what works out best for you & is in keeping with your personal prioritized values. But again, please do not assume that the rest of us are doing a poor job of parenting if we don't share your view regarding the relative importance of physically sitting in a classroom. I (and numerous others) believe that there are additional forms of 'hands-on' education that can be equally valuable, and sometimes even more so. That is why our school district allows their teachers to take their students on numerous field trips throughout the school year... and also approves of parents taking their own children out for up to 5 days worth of pre-approved educational experiences.

 

[DisneyPhD]

In February of 2002 my ds Michael was given a terminal diagnosis and not expected to live until that August when we had a WDW trip planned so it didn't interfere with school. My younger ds who was in 2nd grade at the time lived with his dad. I decided to go to WDW in late April/early May and take the kids out of school for a week. The 8 year-olds dad said no and the school remained neutral. We ended up in court where the 8 year-old parroted his dad and said school was more important than WDW. The judge agreed and we went without him. Michael died and now we won't have any more vacations with our complete family. When the now 10 year-old looks at pictures or hears conversations about that trip he asks "where was I?". He can't imagine saying school was more important. We can never make it up unlike homework or a test!

MidgeD79, I am so sorry for your loss.

My kids are still young, but I do plan to take them out of school if the situation is right. We can only take breaks when DH who teaches college can go. That means Spring break for us often. DD is missing pre-school, but I didn't think twice about that.

Last year we took my niece (who was 12 at the time) with us. She missed a week of school. I felt a little guilty about taking her out of school. My brother had no probelm with it, her grandparents weren't too happy about it. (My SIL died of breast cancer 6 years ago and DN spends a lot of time with us.) I think she deseves a specail treat, she is such a great kid.

We were not planning on taking her again this year, 2 years in a row. I was talking to a friend of mine (also a Disney Nut) who happned to be a sub teacher at DN school. She told me that DN was such a good student missing a week of school would not hurt her at all in any way and that all of DN teaches would not have a problem with it (knowing them well) and DN did deserve a time with us on vacation. DN wanted to go so bad, but never said a word. Well, she is coming with us again. She got her grades a few weeks ago, all A's and a A+ and not in a fuff class either. I don't feel so bad about taking her out.

I wouldn't take my nephew, it would be too hard on him. He stuggles in school.

 

[cricket429]

A little harsh DLKT. We are not saying its a matter of measuring the importance of family time versus school time or inconveniencing teachers. Its about teaching them that play time comes after their responsibilities are fulfilled. Even at 5, my daugher is being taught that there are certain things she is expected to do before she can do some of the fun things she wants to do. Its not anything to get hostile about. It is the way we chose to raise our daughter and everyone has different ideas and opinions. And everyone is entitled to them without persecutions.