Jim, (and other Dfriends),
Sorry, I know I need to be more attentive to the board. I have been working ALOT, sleeping a little and it's not working out so well.
Y''all deserve better and I promise to try.
I guess part of the problem is there really isn't anything new to tell. Nate has not changed. The fever is staying away. We thought the cough was getting better, but apparently it just took a break so it could come back even nastier. We can deal with that. What is breaking our hearts is how very small he is. I mean really really tiny. His nurse literally gasped when she saw him last because he is nothing but skin and bone. We have never been afraid of hurting Nate when we hold him, even when the doctors told us to be afraid. Well, for the first time in 6 years, when I hold him, it feels like he might break. And worse than that, he doesn't seem to want us to hold him much because it is uncomfortable for him. He will tolerate it for a bit, then fusses and wants to be put in his swing. Which we have had special pads made for so it is nice and comfy. (He really loves his swing. Probably his favorite thing to do.) He goes through so many batteries we should buy stock in it!
Like I told Andy, he still smiles and "talks" a bit, but because he has so many bones sticking out now and it hurts when he is held too much, it seems he almost prefers to be left alone.
It's very hard to see right now. I apologize for being so negative. I'm just still trying to adjust to this latest phase of his illness. This stage is so visually upsetting that it may take time. I think I am going to email some other families whose children have already passed and ask them how they dealt with the weight loss. Who knows, it might help.
I ask for alot of prayers for Nate, that he might stay comfortable and not suffer one minute. But if you have the time, say one for Eric, me and the boys, that we might be blind to the mess this illness is making of his helpless body. And to be strong. Stronger than anything RCP can through at us.