Anyone have an emergency c-section?

[MerryPoppins]

Exactly 16 years ago today I had an emergency c-section with my first child. I'd been in labor from Wednesday afternoon until Friday morning and I just wasn't dialating. The doctor said the baby was stressed, so there was no choice. At that point they could have said they needed to lop off my head and I would have gone along with it. I was just so tired. They didn't have to knock me out, but I was kind of loopy. I really don't remember much. Afterward, DS was in ICU until July 4th. I didn't even get to hold him for several days. I guess I was to concerned about him to even think about having to have him via c-section.

Almost 4 years later we had DD by c-section. It was my choice. I just didn't want to even consider going through all that again. I think the only thing I regreted was the recovery time was longer. I always got a little depressed when I hit the 3 week mark and I still didn't quite feel like myself.

Today I have a handsome 16 year old and a beautiful 12 year old. It really doesn't matter how they got here. I think our culture makes too big a deal about having a natural delivery. We tend to have high expectations and then when everything doesn't go as planned there is a huge letdown. Don't dwell on it. The outcome is the important thing. Would you love Sam less if you had adopted him? If you had gone that route you wouldn't have had the birth experience at all. So what? Pick up that bundle of joy and be thankful that you have him.

Hugs and best wishes. Sometimes (like today) I'd love to turn back the clock and hold mine again.

 

[dbond]

I guess my 3rd was considered an emergency, but they did have time to prepare for the surgery and I was awake with an epidural. But, I had lost so much blood and was so weak I don't remember much. I had Placenta Previa and after 2 days in the hospital they decided they had to take him at 34 weeks. He went straight into ICU and I was too light headed and weak to even ride the wheelchair down to see him for almost 2 days. I was so glad I had a private room and didn't have to watch another Mom have her baby with her. After 5 days, I had to leave the hospital without him and come back every few hours to try and get him to nurse. He never did nurse, he was too weak, but I pumped milk for him and they fed him with a tube until he could suck on a bottle. It was certainly not a typical birth experience and I was so concerned that we had not had the bonding opportunity like I had experienced with the other 2, but look at him today at 9 and he's a loving, gentle young man with a great heart for others. Every birth has it's own characteristics. When there are so many things that can go wrong, I think it's a miracle every time a new life comes into the world, no matter how they got here. Enjoy your new baby, they grow up so fast and very soon you'll be wondering where the time went.

 

[BounceyOne]

I had an emergency csec in dec of 98. I got to the hospital around 10:30am and checked in and got the gown on and such. By the time I got on the bed to relax a while her heart rate dropped and they wheeled me into the OR and I 'had' her at 11:07. I was knocked out and when I woke upall I remember is shaking and being soooooo thirsty.

I don't feel cheated, but I much prefer natural childbirth to a c sec.

 

[Laurabearz]

What your feeling is normal. I mean for 9ish months you had invisioned a ******l birth and all that comes with it and that didnt happen.... The total opposite happened but thankfully your baby is okay. Your baby was at risk, no fault of yours, life is like that sometimes and thank God, we have the technology to save a child like this, your sweet baby is alive.

Just like with our new waist lines... it took 9 months to gain the weight, give it 9 months to loose it.... same holds true for this... I know you are thankful the baby you carried inside of you was able to come out of you and be here today..... just give yourself time to mourn the loss of the birth you dreamt about. It will get better.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

 

[RitaZ.]

I had an emergency c-section with my first child (1992). DH wasn't allowed in the OR, but he saw everything through a window. I was totally out of it.

I think one of the reasons why women have these "let down" feelings when they have a c-section (emergency or unexpected) is because c-sections are viewed negatively. In our Lamaze class, the instructor spent only one class discussing c-sections. ******l births are viewed as the "real and preferred" way to bring a child into the world. I was even told one time that "I took the easy way out" by having c-sections. Yeah right! No wonder women have feelings of inadequacy when they have a c-section. In my opinion, it's total non-sense.

I'm grateful that c-sections were available to me, I wouldn't have survived childbirth (nor my children) without the surgery. When you think about it, how your brought your child into this world isn't all that important. It's what you do from the time the baby is born to when they become adults that REALLY counts.

 

[Kteacher]

my first was an emergency c-section. I went into labor 5 1/2 weeks before my due date. I drove myself to the hospital, and my dr. discovered the baby was transverse breech (sideways!), and I was already between 5-6 cm. DH barely made it to the hospital in time to see his first son born (luckily he was working near the hospital). All I had brought with me was a purse, so I had to send DH home to pack a bag for me- I asked him to make sure to put some pajamas and a robe in the bag, so what does he pack, a see through negligee The nurses told me they'd probably see me again in about 9 months

 

[Sonya]

Thank you all for replying. Your words really help, more than you know. None of my friends here have had c-sections and at least one thinks I took the easy way out.

I think there are 2 things that make me feel this way. One is I should have never watched a Baby Story! You see these women pushing their baby out and the newborn is laying on their chest and they are all crying and their SO looks on with love.... well you get the idea. I realise now that that is what I was wanting even though I didn't realise it at the time. Like Laurabearz said, I have to mourn my ideal of my dream birth.

Second is that I'm adopted and have never met anyone who is related to me. I was so looking forward to my DS in part b/c he is MINE and maybe he would even have my ears or whatever. Now everyone says he looks so much like DH and no one says he looks like me. (some even say he's not going to be a redhead) So I'm thinking, who's kid is this? Did we adopt him? Is he mine?

Thanks for letting me ramble, I'll get over all this, it really helps to have you all here and "talking" to me. I can't really discuss this with anyone else as no one else has been through this. It's amazing how much you can love this little person you have just met! I want to sit and hold him all day just looking at him and rocking him! It's so great!

 

[MerryPoppins]

Sonya, just wait. As he gets older you'll never believe how much of yourself you'll see in him! My son looks a lot like his dad, but I see myself in what he says and the way he acts all the time. It's almost like looking in a mirror. Even if he never looks like you, he will be like you because he is part of you.

I don't care what anyone says, until they are several months old their looks just keep changing. My DD had a full head of black hair when she was born. Then it all fell out and she had nothing but fuzz. When it grew back in it was blonde and now that she is 12 it's getting darker again. LOL! No telling who he will look like by the time he is one.

 

[Christine]

Sonya--I just wanted to tell you that these feelings you are having are normal and I think a lot of the intensity of them has to do with post-partum hormones!! I did not have a c-section, but I was unable to breastfeed. I was just so bummed about it. I really got myself depressed about it and somehow, because I could not do it, I felt "less" of a woman. Those feelings finally went away and I can't even believe now how down in the dumps I got about it. I swear it was hormonal.

A co-worker of mine has two children that his wife delived by c-section. She has (or did) have the same feelings. She somehow felt lesser of a woman for having done that.

I can tell you that I do not view woman who have c-sections as being less of anything!! I think it is a tough thing to go through and, heck, it does have it's benefits!! Not to be too graphic here, but all your "stuff" gets to stay intact!

 

[ryanpatricksmom]

Sonya, just wait. As he gets older you'll never believe how much of yourself you'll see in him! My son looks a lot like his dad, but I see myself in what he says and the way he acts all the time. It's almost like looking in a mirror. Even if he never looks like you, he will be like you because he is part of you.

I totally agree....although in our family it's exactly the opposite. My kids are 13 years apart and the result of different marriages. Both of my boys look very much like me, yet have the personalities of their respective fathers. I always tell Ryan he's my DH's "Mini-Me" even though they look nothing alike.

 

[TINKTWINS]

I can understand a little about your feelings especially since this is your first child. When I had my oldest DS 17 LONG years ago, it was an unplanned c-section. I was only 20 and he was supposed to come in weighing 12lbs. Lucky for me he was only 10.5. My Doc didnt think I could deliver so he very strongly suggested a c-section, I was hysterical. Back then you could opt for not being awake. That is what I chose. My memories of seeing my child for the first time is my now deceased FIL lovingly holding his first grandchild minutes after his birth, with my DH watching over them. DH could not be in the operating room either, but was given the baby almost right away. I wouldnt change that even if I could, things happen for a reason, and Im glad my DH has that memory of his DF to cherish.

I had a friends mother call my while I was still in the hospital, telling me not to feel quilty and mumbling stuff about bonding, blah blah blah at the time what she told me really bothered me, but when we got home and fell into our routine, none of that mattered, he was my pride and joy and we had no problem bonding.

Ive since had 4 more children, all c-section, but awake and with DH in there with me. I dont feel any different than any other mother. Hes yours, you made him, you love him and youll take care of him. That is what matters.

Congtatulations

 

[Gette88]

I had an emergency C-Section with oldest DD. I went to the hospital in labor and my blood pressure was so high I was on the verge of a stroke. I was not awake so DH was not aloud in. I had Toxemia and was in intensive care for 5 days after her birth. I only held her once & it was so awful. All I did was cry the whole 5 days. I thought for sure my DD was bonding with the nurses & not me. I had my mom give her most of her feedings when DH was at work.
DD # 2 I had the same blood pressure problems but was on medication during my pregnancy. I went for a regular check up & the dr. said my blood pressure was too high & going up as I sat there. I went home called DH at work & we met the dr. at the hospital. Things went so much better this time. DH was in the room, I was awake & it was so wonderful. I even went home a day early.
Due to the high blood pressure (only during pregnancy) I did have my tubes tied then. DD's are 9 years apart. I had a miscarriage in between.

 

[LuvN~Travel]

I also had an emergency C-section with my oldest kid. But, I tell you after 16 hours of labor and no pain meds, I was more than ready for a C-section! I wasn't happy that they waited so long that I had to be put under, but later was just glad to have her out! BTW, I scheduled a C-section with my second kid too, and was very glad of it, when I got injured my 8th month! Pushing a kid out with pelvic/pubic soreness would've been a real killer!
Kim

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

My first son was an emergency c-section. It really didn't bother me because I was two weeks overdue and just wanted him OUT! (he was 11 pounds) But I do sort of feel cheated on the whole birth experience. My OB gave me a vertical cut so my second son had to be a c-section also. So I have two children but I've never had a contraction or pushed. LOL

 

[DemonLlama]

My DD was born emergency C-section after her heart rate dropped within 10 minutes of starting pitocin and me not even feeling the contrations. At least with the heart omonitor they could tell she needed to get out of there fast! I had the neck-down epidural and hubby was there, but he was more interested in telling me what was going on that I wanted to know (Honey, I think I can seee your intestines! We giggle about it now )

She'd have died without it, the umbilical cord was the length of a pencil!

Hang in there -- the hormones even out and you eventually don't care how they arrived, just that they are yours to love!

 

[christineann]

My first child was born by emergency C-section. I had gone in for a check up on my due date and the heart rate was very low, so my doctor sent me straight to the hospital and put me on a monitor. Not much happened over the next several hours, so I was given pitocin (oooouuuuuuucchhhh), and then the baby quit breathing. No time for prep or anything, and they ran the stretcher down the hall. I was knocked out, and the doctor said that there was silence in the operating room as he counted the times the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck - 6 times. Michael was checked out by countless doctors and diagnosed as surprisingly healthy. No regrets at all for me. I'm so thankful he is healthy and that 18 years ago the doctor and hospital had the technology to get to him in time. The objective is to have a healthy baby, and we did it!

 

[Poohnatic]

2 kids, 2 c sections here. No emergency c's, but MAJOR complications after son #1 (and yes, it was very surreal. DH still jokes about seeing more of me than I have).

I was high risk with son #2 and on blood thinners throughout the pregnancy. I screamed at anyone stupid enough to try and touch my belly-it was a huge black and blue from the injections. The doctors all tried to scare me away from the C, saying I'd be better off with the VBAC since I'd been on blood thinners.

Alas, all my chronic health issues came into play. I was up to 4 inhalers for my asthma and worried about trying to deliver a VBAC without passing out. I asked the doctor about this happening, and he says "would you like to schedule surgery?". Ends up that in their weekly high risk meetings (4 docs/4 midwives), I was topic of conversation, as they'd scared me into VBAC and realized that was not going to happen.

Yeah, I felt relieved to have the C and I got a healthy child. Fortunately, the second time, I wasn't feeling like a failure for not going the natural route.

Give yourself time to mourn the 'dream delivery', after all, it's normal. Also, I'm sure Sam will surprise you one day, he'll have features that are decidedly Sonya. DS1 looked just like FIL when he was born and now he looks like my side of the family.

Suzanne

 

[Tiger Fan]

I had Emily by what they called and "urgent" c-section. My blood pressure had spiked and they started pitocin for the induction and after 5 hours I had not made any progress. As soon as they stopped the IV my water broke and was full of meconium. I was taken right away to the operating room and was fully awake. Lynn was able to be there and Emily was fine. There was a full NICU staff, but luckily we didn't need them. Emily weighed 10lbs 5 ozs so it would have been tough having her anyway. I never had those feelings of missing a childbirth experience, but have heard many that have. Sonya, you are a mother now and don't let anyone or anything spoil this very special time. Enjoy that precious baby.
Lisa