Anyone have a child in a very demanding sport? Some questions.

[missypie]

DD 8 is a competitive gymnast. She competed for the first time last year, as a level 4. Now she is training as a Level 5. As level 4s they went for 2 hours at a time, three days a week. When they bumped up to Level 5, they added an hour a day. A memo just came out saying that all Level 5s and 6s will now practice 4 days a week, for 3 hours at a time. So Mon-Thurs, my little soon to be third grader will leave the house at 4 pm and return home at 7:30 pm.

I know that gymnastics is tough and takes a lot of time, but I thought she would have at least at year before she went to 4 days a week. I wouldn't have chosen gymnastics as a sport for any of my kids, but of everything she does, she likes this the best. She'll have to drop soccer and maybe piano.

Homework? Family dinners?

DH thinks the parents should get together and talk to the coach. My thought is to let her do it until she burns out/realizes that there is more to life than spending it in the gym...and if she never burns out, it's her choice to stay in.

Any advice, moral support or other thoughts from parents with kids in very demanding sports? (Or personal stories if you were in a demanding sport as a child?)

 

[missy28]

Hi Missy! (I'm a Missy too!!) I was a competitive gymnast since about 3 until I was 18, finished at Level 10, and went to college. I rose through the ranks like it sounds like your little one is, and ended up in the gym about 6 hours a day in high school. I graduated high school with honors and still had time for a social life, including church choir and youth group. My mom would save me a plate for dinner, and then my mom and dad would sit with me while I ate, so it was like a family dinner. In my experience as a gymnast and as a coach (while I was in law school-- it helped pay the bills!!) is that gymnasts who love the sport are exceptionally good at time management. She'll need direction from you on how to manage it all, but the key is a well-run schedule.

Believe me, she'll let you know if she gets tired of it, as long as you make sure she understands that what you want is for her to have fun in the sport-- and let her know that if it stops being fun or she gets tired of it, all she has to do is tell you and she can stop. I had friends who wouldn't quit because they were scared of what their parents would say.

This is the time when it starts getting really competitive, but like I said, as long as she loves it, let her do it. Congrats on her accomplishments-- less than a year and already Level 5!! Way to go!

People ask me over and over if I would do it all the same if I had to do it over, and I say yes. I had some very bad injuries (which were just bad luck-- no one was to blame) and ended having knee reconstruction, but gymnastics taught me sooo many life lessons and I am still very close to my coaches. I wouldn't have the self-confidence or sense of self worth that I have without having been a gymnast. Make sure she watches the Olympics-- the team is gonna be great this year!! And, please feel free to PM me if you have any questions...

 

[missypie]

Wow...two Missys who are lawyers! But that's where the similarities end, because I could never even do a cartwheel or the splits.

Thanks for your thoughts, Missy! I'm sure if we asked, the coach would (reluctantly!) let her practice less time...but it's sure no fun to see the girls you started with progessing ahead of you. One of the Level 5s she works out with is going into 7th grade, and I don't want her to be in that boat. (We already feel like we've held her back a bit, because when she was 3 or 4 [before we had a clue what competitive gymnastics was about!], they wanted her to come for an hour and a half, twice a week and we just thought she was too young.)

Any suggestions for good, quick, healthy after school snacks that she can bolt down before 3 hours at the gym?

Oh, yes, we'll watch the Olympics. The ladies in our house know all about all the team members and the ones who didn't make the team...(what a heartbreaking thing, to be on the world champion team and then not make the Olympic team.) It's funny though, DD11 and I have watched the most gymnastics on TV...after a while, we find the DD who is a gymnast out back on the tramp practicing stuff.

 

[missy28]

What a coincidence!! What sort of law do you practice? I'm a DV Prosecutor, and I get called the B word more times a day than I can count by defendants... keeps me grounded!!

Good healthy snacks... hmmm... Don't do the low carb thing, because she is burning so many calories during a workout, she needs the complex carbs. I never had to worry about anything I ate until I was in college. Fruit is always good, as is granola. That was always my pre-meet breakfast-- 2 bananas and a some dry granola. Fruit has the complex sugars that will help her keep her energy up, and keep her blood sugar from dropping quickly. But anything she wants as a snack should be ok, as long as it isn't too heavy. Nothing worse than flipping around with a heavy stomach!! You're in a great state for gymnastics-- Texas has some of the best gyms in the World!

And my mom knew I was trouble when she looked out the back window and saw me throwing double backs on the trampoline... I think I was about 12 when I started trying those... no wonder she was gray headed by the time I was in high school!!!

 

[missypie]

DD loves fruit...good suggestions.

Yes, Carly Patterson and Holly Vise are from World of Gymnastics in nearby Allen...we see their girls at meets. I'm thinking that WOG's success may be in the back of the coach's mind in ramping up the practice schedule. Our Level 4-6s do just fine against WOG's girls, but obviously we didn't have anyone in the Olympic Trials!

(I practice real estate law. Hats off to you...sometimes I think REAL ESTATE becomes too confrontational...I could never be a prosecutor!)

 

[snookhams]

my 12 year old son took up competative swimming about 2 years ago now and is swimming in the nationals here in the UK 6 days before I fly to WDW. He trains 4 nights a week, there are more training sessions available but I did not want him to give up all his other activities for swimming, and he is porgressing well on the 4 nights, if he reaches a stalemate situation then maybe I will reconsider and let him train another night. I always tell him when he is about to compete that he should go and enjoy himself and do his best, and when he is no longer enjoying it then he should consider if he wants to continue. I always tell him that part of being a good sportsman is to accept loosing gracefully, and always remember whereever you go you will be racing against someone who could potentially beat you...

 

[Kallison]

Sounds ridiculous to me. I would not want my child being a super talented athlete, they have no childhood and how many of these kids actually make it big. How many Mary Lou's do we have running around? If she has a passion for it I would say go for it. I think you have the right attitude, let her do it until she gets fed up with it.

 

[missy28]

I'd have to disagree with you, Kallison, because for me, it was all about the journey and not the destination. No, not everyone little girl will turnout to be an olympic champion, but competitve sports teaches many valuable life lessons that I feel can't be learned elsewhere.

And I had a wonderful childhood, and my parents always let me know that my sport was my choice, and they supported me as long as I wanted to do it. The key is to listen to your child-- it's time to quit when it isn't fun anymore.

 

[missypie]

Believe me, we're not pushing her into anything. I am about the most un-athletic person I know; DH is not much better than me and he doesn't follow any sports at all. DS is as much of a klutz as I am; DD 11 is okay at sports but much prefers dance. Then DD8 comes along...she is actually athletic...good at whatever she does. I think that one of the reasons she likes gymnastics is that she can do what no one in her class can do...lots of girls play soccer, etc., but none of them compete in gymnastics. She's so tough and determined that I think she likes it BECAUSE it's hard.

One interesting note: The other day I was reading the newsletter of our state's gymnastic association. The minutes of the board meeting said that the board discussed the decline in gymnasts after Level 4....there aren't enough Level 5s and 6s in their opinion....it certainly could be that the girls are getting burned out and don't want to give up all of their other activities.

 

[jennyanydots]

my girls are into dance and cheerleading. betwene the two activities they're occupied virtually every afternoon after school.

you eithe rlove what you're doing or you stop doing it.










(by the way, missy and missypie , you haven't lived until you've had to take the deposition of an auto accident plaintiff in the Bronx...)

 

[Talking Hands]

My daughters started out in dance, gymnastics and viola/violin. In their case viola/violin won out. It is the same in any activity that a child loves. It takes time and commitment. 2 1 hour lessons per week and endless hours of practice, plus orchestras both in school and in the community as well as church with the associated rehearsals.
The oldest is now 26 and practices anywhere from 4-6 hours daily, sometimes more. Has private lessons 2 x a week. Plus she is now teaching several students. One student is working up to an audition and is having daily lessons for the next month.

 

[Marla Hellwig]

My dd started swimming on a local team here last August. Depending on what level on the team you are you will practice at least 3 nights a week for an hour each (Bronze level) up to 6 nights a week for 2 hours each (Gold and Senior). Currently, my dd is practicing during the school year 6 nights a week for about 1 1/2 hours a night (Silver I).

This summer our practice schedule is 1 1/2 hours in the morning (5 mornings a week) and up to 2 hours at night 5 nights a week.

And that didn't include the summer swim team she was on.

Then when she starts at the high school (next year) and joins their swim/dive team she will have to add their practice schedule to her routine in additional to practicing with her home team.

Right now she isn't on the weight training schedule but will in the future.

I figure as long as she enjoys it and keeps improving and everything - she can continue. She is already talking about finding a college that has a swim team.

Is she a future Olpymic swimmer - who knows - but hey - does it hurt to have a dream - me - I would be pleased as punch with just a swimmer scholarship to college.

I have seen such an improvement in her confidence last past year. Has met a great bunch of kids of all ages - our team ages are 4-18.

She is learning how it feels when you win and come home with ribbons, medals, and trohphies, but also she is learning how it feels when she loses either by being beat in time by another swimmer or not making a state swimming time. She is also learning how to deal with "pressures" of where she is seeded at a swim meet and in her heat - is she the fastest in her heat and will have to hold off up to 8 other girls in the same heat - or will she have to dig down and keep up with girls who are a littler faster than she is now.

She knows when she gets out of the water after a race how she swam and is working on how to "better herself" as she calls it.

We are both enjoying being members of the team and will continue until it isn't fun anymore.

 

[TammiMcMan]

Misspie, the key word you used is "competitive". While a lot of kids like to play sports for fun, there is usually a division of every sport for those that are looking to accel. Our town soccer program has teams for all abilities. There are players who are happy with practicing one day a week, while I know others who have joined club teams and now are on the soccer field nearly every day. My own son has been figure skating for a few years now. We have met coaches who require that their students skate 14 hours a week at a minimum. That's in addition to strength classes and dance. These kids complete all their school classes by lunch time and they are at the rink for the rest of the day. DS decided that was too big a committment for him and we found a coach that respects his decision. In addition to skating, he also plays soccer, track & field, chorus and drama. He's had to learn to accept the fact that when he does compete, he will probably finish behind those skaters who are practicing all the time, but he's okay with that.

On a side note, my DS actually does much better in school with all these activities. I think it's a time management thing. He knows what he has to get done and he can't procrastinate. With your DD being 8, that's something that you'll probably have to help her with at first.

You didn't mention if you had told your DD that she would have to give up soccer and piano. My thoughts are, if thats okay with her, let her give it a shot. I have an 8 year old who has just discovered cheerleading. She is on the Pop Warner squad and has also started taking tumbling lessons with a local club. I didn't mind it, but we had to have a talk when she also wanted to sign up for soccer and skating lessons. She seemed to really understand that it wasn't possible for her to do everything, so we're making some compromises and she'll do one thing per season.

Family dinners are not an easy thing to schedule. I think you'll need to do something different on those nights that she has practice and maybe plan a special dinner for Friday nights. Also, it sounds like her practices will be held during, what we would consider normal dinner hours. She may be better off with eating a large meal at lunch, a small meal before practice and another small meal afterwards. With growing bodies and the added strain gymnastics is going to put on her, I really would talk to a nutritionist about it.

Just watch for any signs of unhappiness and talk to your daughter.

Tammi

 

[Kallison]

Originally posted by missy28
I'd have to disagree with you, Kallison, because for me, it was all about the journey and not the destination. No, not everyone little girl will turnout to be an olympic champion, but competitve sports teaches many valuable life lessons that I feel can't be learned elsewhere.

And I had a wonderful childhood, and my parents always let me know that my sport was my choice, and they supported me as long as I wanted to do it. The key is to listen to your child-- it's time to quit when it isn't fun anymore.

I'm not saying don't do sports, both of my kids are in sports every season of the year. My DD runs track 3 times per week and goes to 4 hour track meets on Saturday. I think at that age that was posted the practice schedule is too demanding and the child will probably get fed up with it. I also said the OP seems to have the right attitude in not pushing her child. I have nothing against competitive sports just when they consume the kids life. Those girls trying out for the Olympics, have no other life than gymnastics. I just wouldn't want that for my child, there is no way they have a childhood. Same goes for figure skaters, etc.

 

[LisaTx]

DD13 is a competitive dancer. It's all about passion, choices and time management. No one in their right mind would do what these kids do if they didn't have a passion for it.

I practically have to drag DD out of the studio at times. It looks like she'll be at the studio 6 days a week this year. She'll be taking 11 - 12 hours of classes and assistant teaching as well. She participates in off campus pe and gets out of school one hour early. That helps with the homework. The off campus pe was not available until she got to Jr. High. Last year she had 4 1/4 hours on Thursday nights and homework was very difficult. I told her no more than 3 hours of dance on school nights this year.

When you devote youself to one activity on that level you do have to make choices and miss out on things. DD cheered for 3 years, but just on the optimist level. She was recruited for a competition squad, but I told her she had to choose between that and competitive dance. She decided to drop soccer and brownies, but has continued with orchestra and now band. She is planning to be involved in either band or cheerleading in high school. That should be interesting.

DD has also had to miss lots of social activities when they are preparing for a competition. Of course spending that much time at dance, most of her friends are from dance as well, so we work around the girls schedules. Us dance moms can throw together a party on a moments notice. She has a late dinner many nights and I've packed a lunch or taken food to the studio more times that I can count.

As others said, fruit is a good snack. DD also likes yogurt.

Good luck to your DD.

 

[missypie]

kallison, it's so hard to say what is best. You can't get to Elite Level, or even Level 8 or 9 or 10, as a teenager, unless you progress when you're really young. On the other hand, you'll never get to be a gymnast as a teenager if you burn out in elementary school. The coach must have determined that she wants better, more committed gymnasts, even if there are fewer of them. All of us parents will have to decide if we agree with the coach, or want to find another gym.

Anybody got recommendations for good, healthy snacks? (Calories don't matter...she's skinny.)

 

[ttichenor]

DD12 almost obsessive about softball. We're in a 4 week break between spring/summer and fall ball and she's driving me nuts wanting to go to batting cages. DD not natural, has gotten to be a sought after player by hard work and payoffs are starting to happen for her. Is she scholarship material? Probably not, but it keeps her active and I'm a firm believer in too much idle time creates problems. And she's getting to the age where other influences could become very strong. She's a 5'8" powerful, left handed first baseman. Wouldn't trade the experiences we are having as a family right now for anything...well, except maybe playing AT WDW LOL

 

[vernon]

My elder DD got into swimming at about age 8 or 9 and into competition about 18 months later (5 nights a week one and a half hours per session). She went from a slightly podgy kid to slim one and the confidence it gave her losing weight and making state finals was immeasurable. Eventually she discovered other things that interested her more but IMHO it taught her dicipline in her time management and how if you work hard for something you can get results. She had the right mentality to get something out of it, at times she got pushed (when she needed it) but mostly it was her doing.

Younger DD didn't really get on with the competition swimming, although she learned how to swim correctly. She had previously joined a competitive gymnastics club and had got up to training twice a week but again she wasn't driven enough to do the practice and stretching at home that is needed to build the basics. DD2 didn't really get pushed because she never had the will to do it in the first place, as a parent you should know the mentality of your child to know when you can encourage, when they need a push and when it's a waste of time.


Gymnastics is a difficult sport, for a parent, because unless the correct amount of flexibility work is done when the kids are young there is no way it can be caught up when they are in their teens. By it's very nature it is physically, mentally demanding on the child/participant and usually requires a lot of sacrifices from the parents/family. I'm a firm believer that competitive sport is an excellent teaching tool for kids to learn some of what life will give them when they are older. In the US there are huge benefits in terms of scholarships to good colleges for those that succeed ( so you don't have to be a Mary Lou or Mark Spitz for you to gain significantly from the sport) .

No one knows their child better than the parent concerned, some need a little push, some you're wasting your time. If you listen to what the child is saying about the exercise and if it's obvious they are not interested then let them drop it or do it to a level they enjoy. Some kids thrive on competition and have the drive to be the best they can, some just want a laugh, and some don't want it at all. No particular route is right for all kids.

I'm a firm believer in too much idle time creates problems.

AMEN TO THAT !!! It's rare that a kid that's heavily into competitive sports smokes, drinks or regularly does "recreational" drugs.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

We have two competitive baseball and basketball players - both hope to play in college.... one sport or the other.

Our rule is... if you do it, you give 100% and do it right.

For example.... many pushed them to play musical instruments. When we discussed it as a family - how they were going to practice the required time and all - they decided they did not want to make that commitment.

They are both exceptional students, and they thrive on hectic schedules and high expectations.

I agree that there are life lessons learned from children applying themselves to something - whether it's gymnastics, baseball, music, etc. If the passion is there then I believe we as parents must be supportive of their choices and help them attempt to achieve their dreams.

 

[Az Pirates]

Originally posted by missypie
DD 8 is a competitive gymnast. She competed for the first time last year, as a level 4. Now she is training as a Level 5. As level 4s they went for 2 hours at a time, three days a week. When they bumped up to Level 5, they added an hour a day. A memo just came out saying that all Level 5s and 6s will now practice 4 days a week, for 3 hours at a time. So Mon-Thurs, my little soon to be third grader will leave the house at 4 pm and return home at 7:30 pm.

Those hours are similar to our gym.
4's 9 hrs.
T5's 13 hrs.
5's 15 hrs.
6's 16 hrs.
7's 21 hrs.
8's 25 hrs.
9's 30 hrs.
Elite 34 hrs.

It is a huge commitment. I struggled with it when my girls got involved at the team level too.

My oldest competed through level 8 and then quit when she entered 9th grade. She wanted to be able to get involved in high school and just could not do it with the gymnastics schedule.
The good thing is she was able to pick up a part time job doing some coaching - so now she has a little income rather that the constant outgo of $$$ when she was competing.

I do think overall it has been a positive experience and the girls are better for having been involved. I have 1 dd still competing. I'm trying my hardest to talk my youngest into pursuing some other activity.... even just for change of pace for mom.
That may not happen though as her older sisters have quite a bit of influence and we have been living gymnastics for years now.