Anyone feel bad for feeling bad?

[LeiaOfAlderaan]

I went through the same thing in March when my early April cruise was cancelled. We were sailing concierge for the first and possibly only time, and were so excited! We also cancelled our Feb Star Wars cruise because we don’t know if my husband will still have a job after this summer. These cancellations really hit me harder than I thought they would. But I can say after a couple weeks of being bummed I got over it. All I care about now is that my family is healthy and my husband is employed (for now anyway!) so that is what I focus on.

 

[AquaDame]

(...)But I feel bad just for feeling so bad. I know so many people have it so much worse. (...)

Sadness and grief don't always have to have the same scale. You can absolutely feel sad for how it is affecting your life while also feeling for those who are affected so much more. Being sad for me doesn't mean I can't be sad for thee.

 

[darnheather]

I don't understand, these two statements conflict.

I'm hoping there will be vaccines by then. If not then I'll reschedule again. Hope that makes sense. I doubt there will be buy December but more hopeful about March.

 

[ironz]

I'm hoping there will be vaccines by then. If not then I'll reschedule again. Hope that makes sense. I doubt there will be buy December but more hopeful about March.

Hi, Heather-- we are in the process of changing our reservation from that Sept cruise as well. Would have been fun to see you again. I understand the mixed emotions. Sadly, there is no crystal ball to let us know when things are going to settle into whatever the 'new normal' is going to be. I feel like the uncertainty of everything is a great stressor to a lot of people (me included)-- when can we travel again, will there be a vaccine soon, will there be a second wave and if so, worse than this and when would it even happen, etc...
It really sucks.
But we gotta keep taking care of each other!
Take care and hi to your girls. (and if you don't remember, we took that cooking class together at Las Caletas)

 

[kj2mom]

Oh totally understand. I have a high school senior who is devastated. She’s lost all those moments and just found out they also canceled her dance recital. She danced for 15 years. On top of that we had a graduation cruise in July that will cancel I’m sure. We were supposed to be going with my brothers family first time ever. They can’t even reschedule so that’s just not going to happen.

We’ve had so many adults tell me or my daughter that we/she lack perspective and that this won’t matter in 5 years. Or others have it worse. Don’t you think we get that? But her and I being sad doesn’t take away from the gravity of the situation. These times are big and important. And they are all things you can’t get back. Understanding the whys doesn’t mean you can’t grieve and that this is minor. It’s big right now.

We have some similarities....my twins are seniors and our July cruise and Disney trip was booked with family of friends of my children to celebrate their graduation. Like others have mentioned in this thread, I do find myself thinking 'why this year?' quite often. These are my only children so my only high school graduation as a proud momma! I could go on and on but just know you are not alone. My motto is our minds know there are much more important things but our hearts are sad! I have coworkers with the virus, my children have twin friends whose Dad died from a heart attack during all of this, soo many countless others who have their own reasons for feeling bad but again like others have mentioned, I can feel bad/sad about our changes while also feeling bad/sad for others around us. They are not mutually exclusive!

 

[hnthomps]

I agree with almost everyone else, that it is so reasonable to grieve what you have lost. Just because it is "minor" in the scale of death and disaster in the world right now doesn't mean that it's not a loss. It is a loss that will fade faster than a bigger one, and that likely doesn't feel as huge as a bigger one, but it's still a loss, and loss is hard!
We were supposed to go to WDW on 3/17 and then on the 3/21 Fantasy. It was such a fast switch from "of course we're still going!" to "oh, maybe we should cancel" to "ok, cancelling the cruise, will stay at WDW longer" to "oh, maybe we shouldn't go to WDW" to "we'll call and cancel tomorrow" to "oh, WDW is closing when we'd be there, guess we aren't going" to now having not left our house for anything other than groceries since before that vacation would have started. I think that all happened in a week. My kids and I cried and were so sad for a couple days. And then we were able to let it go -- we had gotten our feelings out, and then we settled in to make the best of what we had. But I also felt really guilty for how sad I was...which made it harder to move on! Once I let myself feel sad, I was able to move on.

Anyway, it's reasonable to be sad about a lost vacation. It would not be reasonable to go to someone who just lost a loved one and say "think you have it bad? I couldn't go on a cruise!" but since no one here is doing that, I think it's completely fair to feel your feelings.

 

[darnheather]

Hi, Heather-- we are in the process of changing our reservation from that Sept cruise as well. Would have been fun to see you again. I understand the mixed emotions. Sadly, there is no crystal ball to let us know when things are going to settle into whatever the 'new normal' is going to be. I feel like the uncertainty of everything is a great stressor to a lot of people (me included)-- when can we travel again, will there be a vaccine soon, will there be a second wave and if so, worse than this and when would it even happen, etc...
It really sucks.
But we gotta keep taking care of each other!
Take care and hi to your girls. (and if you don't remember, we took that cooking class together at Las Caletas)

Oh now I am crying. That was such a beautiful trip and that was by far the best day. The girls and I talk about it often. Thinking about it will make me happy again so that is something good. I wish I could sit with you and have some good Mexican food and chat.

 

[ironz]

Oh now I am crying. That was such a beautiful trip and that was by far the best day. The girls and I talk about it often. Thinking about it will make me happy again so that is something good. I wish I could sit with you and have some good Mexican food and chat.

That really was the best cruise ever.

 

[goofystitch]

My husband and I had to reschedule our 3/21 Fantasy to 11/28 and we hope it happens. We are sad for ourselves but we also think of all the wonderful crew members that we've grown to love over the years and we are so sad for them too ☹

 

[mm824]

Everyone's reality is different and I think it's natural to miss the life you created and the sense of normalcy that surrounds it.