First question in my mind; did you get travel-insurance? I know it can be
such a problem to loose a lot of money, those very few vacation-days from work, not having the so needed time to relax and recharge the battery. But one thing that would be even worse in my book is a family going on their trip and the hospitalized kid getting a emotional beating that.
He's only 8. Every 8yo will have a lot of problems to really understand a family going on the trip, leaving him/her at home and not feeling like they are a bad kid /not loved/ not wanted/ being punished, you name it. Basically, I can't see a kid not beating himself up or feeling at least very upset at this age if he was supposed to come on the trip but went to hospital instead and the whole family went without him. For every parent, no money in the world is more important than their kid, you'll be no exception.
It doesn't matter that it isn't the first time he isn't hospitalized, any kid at this age is inclined to blame themselves if anything goes wrong. And than you've got the spectrum etc. to count into it all. First of all; I don't know first hand what it's like, nore am I trying to preach. But as a human being like anybody else, I can imagine that for those kids out there with these problems it's ever that more difficult not to feel left out/ different/ less loved.
If you all stay, there's the risk of him still feeling guilty; "I took your trip away because I was hospitalized". Assure him no blame is to be found here. You wouldn't want to go anywhere on a trip without him. You'll just reschedule (even if that takes 2 years, rescheduling gives more hope than cancelling and "we'll see when we can go as soon as possible".), even if it takes upteen times -god forbid!- to reschedule before you all can go together.
I don't know how he sees WDW? If it is like a heaven on earth for him, letting him know you'll reschedule and give him a date/month to look forward to might give him something to look forward to. And who knows, maybe it might even help him during this hospitalisation and in finding a way to life a bit more comfortable live with his psychological problems.
If I look at it purely as a kid with an illness, I would be so devastated if my parents and siblings went without me. As if everyone has left me and I was all alone on the world. And I'm not even a kid anymore, only trying to imagine how I would take it.
You're in a difficult position. Your hart must be bleeding for him and wishing so bad to be able to just wave a magic wand and free him of this load. And than you've got yourself and the other kids to think about. You're an adult and can deal with this a bit better, but for them it'll be a bitter pill to swallow. I can only imagine how their brothers illness has put a strain on them also and they could use a WDW-trip so bad.
It's a rotten situation, but I think that staying at home has the most "benefits" and the least negative effects to it of both of the 2 options, of which neither you wanted. Try and make it the best time at home. Maybe you could do something with the other kid(s), which you'ld normally wouldn't get round to. Perhaps you could integrate WDW into the home on a happy way. I sure hope you find the right path for your family to walk. Good luck and that your little boy may be home and happier as soon as possible.
