Anyone elses kid the "worst one on the team" ?

[JonS99]

When our son was younger he played a year of soccer and he was horrible, but he did it because he wasn't old enough for football.. The kids laughed a bit and it bothered him, but now he plays football and is the best kid on the team, on more than one occasion he said "I like football, can drill the kids that used to laugh at me".. Sad and funny at the same time..

 

[DevilDuckie]

DD 11 is having a bit of a hard time. She excelled in skating for the last 5 years but has struggled to land her Axel for the last year. She decided to take a break from skating and try something new, so she started playing soccer a couple of months ago. I think she's getting better everyday but I can't seem to convince her of that, and the kids on the team aren't helping much. Does anyone have any advise on how to raise her self esteem ??
On the plus side she's ready to go and tackle that Axel again .

My son's large motor control is so poor that he (along with a couple other 4th grade boys) take a special PE class in addition to regular PE in order to improve some basic skills. As our situation is a little more extreme that yours, we avoid team sports as a whole and stick to yoga and karate.

Frankly I'm concerned that the other kids "aren't helping much" and that there hasn't been intervention by the coach. I'd consider a different league/team/whatever if he's ignoring negative treatment of less skilled players. My kid does not do extracurriculars to make him feel *worse* about himself.

Send her back to land that darn Axel!

 

[DevilDuckie]

He's at a preschool level, but he's 8, and we have a really hard time finding a place where he blends in. I am still struggling with this, I keep searching, we keep trying, but it's very frustrating.

Our son's karate dojo holds classes twice a week that are open to the entire school-all levels, all ages. My son is big for his age and older than the other beginners, so the kid classes were a little awkward for him at first. Being in the room with a 6'4" white belt and said white belt's tiny 13 year old brown belt daughter really put things into perspective and my kid relaxed a lot about being "worst" around tiny people.

I don't know where on the spectrum your kid is, but if you think he could cope, shop around for a dojo with a good attitude- heck, a number of the moms at ours even take classes, so you could make it a shared experience. Sometimes watching grownups suck is very liberating for kids.

 

[Mickeyorbust]

I coach soccer, albeit much younger kids than 11 yr olds, at that age they all start to become competitive, (which is probably part of your problem here). The way I always get the slow starters to participate and have fun is constant praise and have them teach me what to do. I act like I have no idea what I am doing and have them "teach" me how to do a corner kick, or how to score a goal from a pass. Acting like they are the expert and you are the novice helps so much, I've been able to break every one of my 5 yr olds out of their shell that way.

Thanks for being a good coach....so many out there are pushing to win eventhough technically at that age we're not supposed to keep score. DD13 had one of those Win or else coaches when she was 6 and hated soccer becuase of it. Now, DD6 had one of those great coaches like you who always found someway to build up each kid. DD6 is not an aggressive player, but the coach had her play defense most of the time because she was good at getting in the way of the opposing team...hence slowing them down. And she was proud of that.

So, it's all in how you look at it. Find something positive, all the players can't be up there scoring the goals.

 

[Taja]

Another one who was the last one picked for team sports in school! *LOL*

I was a terrific ballet dancer, but that wasn't valued when and where I attended school. So I considered myself fortunate to manage a C in PE. My hand/eye coordination is atrocious--not to mention total lack of inclination to chase a ball around! For some reason, PE teachers don't consider two hours of dance class daily to be exercise!

Hope the OP's daughter lands her Axel consistently--and learns to enjoy trying other sports!

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

Another bad practice !! DD came of the field crying saying everyone was being mean to her and yelling at her, and begged me to take her home. After the coach yelled her name across the field and asked her if she was practicing with out even comming over to see why DD had gone off the field , I told her to get her stuff and we left. That was Tuesday night and her coach hasn't called to find out why we left. There is one regular practice and one game left in the regular season,and then the end of season tournament. I told DD she needed to finish out the regular season and gave her permission to inform the other young ladies on the team that she was doing the best she could and had every right to be out there, and if they didn't like it they could go suck an egg . I'm trying my level best not to call the coach and tell her what I think of her coaching abilities . Thanks for letting me vent !! On the plus side one of the girls on the team is having an ice skating birthday party this weekend!!! I told DD to go and skate circles around them .

 

[SplashMountainMama]

Another bad practice !! DD came of the field crying saying everyone was being mean to her and yelling at her, and begged me to take her home. After the coach yelled her name across the field and asked her if she was practicing with out even comming over to see why DD had gone off the field , I told her to get her stuff and we left. That was Tuesday night and her coach hasn't called to find out why we left. There is one regular practice and one game left in the regular season,and then the end of season tournament. I told DD she needed to finish out the regular season and gave her permission to inform the other young ladies on the team that she was doing the best she could and had every right to be out there, and if they didn't like it they could go suck an egg . I'm trying my level best not to call the coach and tell her what I think of her coaching abilities . Thanks for letting me vent !! On the plus side one of the girls on the team is having an ice skating birthday party this weekend!!! I told DD to go and skate circles around them .

You would like to think she would at least check to see if there was a problem, but sadly not every coach is as in-tune with what's going on as you would hope. Some coaches are great at coaching kids with a lot of skill, but aren't quite sure what to make of the ones who are just doing the best they know how. My DS had a coach whose son was one of the best players on the team, but without a doubt was the worst when it came to sportsmanlike conduct. This kid would loudly tease any kid who wasn't as good as he was at baseball, would throw his helmet when he got out and would cry if a play didn't go his way. All you had to do to see where this behaviour came from was look at his father, one of the coaches. His dad actually encouraged his son when he was teasing the other kids and would laugh along with him. I'm talking about 7 year old kids here. Even the other coaches were intimidated by this guy because even though they saw what was going on they didn't try to stop it.
On the flip side there are a lot of really good coaches out there. This same DS played the next year with an amazing coach who really knew how to motivate all the players no matter what their ability. That year, DS had a great year and left the team with a lot of wonderful memories.

 

[EverythingDisney]

DD10 is the worst swimmer on her swim team. She just doesn't have a competitative bone in her body. She practices everyday, and I do see improvement, but she always comes in last place.
I tell her to just do her best !! It's not always about winning !!