Anyone else know someone like this?

[lizabu]

OK, that is totally bizarre but I don't think I would stop being friends with her over it, I would probably just not hang out at my house.

OP I'm curious, have you ever been at her house and shown up with a big bag just to recollect your stuff in front of her saying, "Well I'm glad you enjoyed my things but it's time they come back home, I think they miss me."

OMG! You should totally do this. Next time you're at her house do your own "shopping". Maybe she won't think it's so cute when you have a bag filled with her groceries and stuff...lol

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I don't have any friends like that, and if I did, I don't we'd be friends for very long. At the very least, I don't think I'd be letting that woman in my house anymore.

 

[L107ANGEL]

OK, that is totally bizarre but I don't think I would stop being friends with her over it, I would probably just not hang out at my house.

OP I'm curious, have you ever been at her house and shown up with a big bag just to recollect your stuff in front of her saying, "Well I'm glad you enjoyed my things but it's time they come back home, I think they miss me."

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OP I'm curious, have you ever been at her house and shown up with a big bag just to recollect your stuff in front of her saying, "Well I'm glad you enjoyed my things but it's time they come back home, I think they miss me."

Seriously though, I would do that anyway if someone "borrowed" something and would not bring it back. I would drive to their home and get it, whether it is a family or a friend.

 

[SookieStackhouse]

Thankfully I do not know anybody like that. That would get old really quick!

 

[Melmac]

When I first started reading your post, I thought you might be younger as I felt your "friend" was acting like a kid ... then I read the part about the ball for her son and realized you were talking about a grown woman.

No, I have never known anyone like this in my life and someone who was like this would not be in my life for long. You are a really patient person - more so than me. Try your best to start saying NO as she is only asking you because you have enabled her in the past (although you probably know this). Good luck - you sound like a nice person and you need to stick up for yourself as well

 

[deedeecee]

My sister will ask for things (or she used to, I don't recall her doing it recently). Drove my husband nuts.
To my sister's credit, if I expressed admiration of anything in her house, she would offer it to me. Anything within reason, of course.
OP, she asks because she knows you will give her stuff. Just tell her no, no explanation needed. Or you can tell her where she can buy it.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

When I first started reading your post, I thought you might be younger as I felt your "friend" was acting like a kid ... then I read the part about the ball for her son and realized you were talking about a grown woman.

She's 25, but considers herself 17...

Interesting!

My sister does this on behalf of her children (3 and 7) when they come over. They'll be playing w/ a toy and it's time to go. She'll say "Ask your Aunt if you can take it home"

I totally expect this to happen if she ever brings her son over to my house. It's easier to say "no" to an adult, much harder to those kids who have mastered the art of the "puppy-dog-eyes"
Her son is very very good at it.

I have a 4 year old who will not leave my MIL house without his bag of goodies...It started last year when my mil decided to give him a baggie and let him pick some treats to take home. now he usually asks for something whenever we leave. I hate it and tell him no but then MIL always says she gave it to him and he can have it. ( that's an entirely different post!) Its usually something small like bananas, oranges, or candy, but a few times its either a toy or 2 huge ornaments that are outdoor decorations! ( they were 18 inches big! Needless to say they went back to grammy's after christmas) I call him my klepto!!! Thankfully he wont do it anywhere except my mil or my moms ( usually just small decorations or knick nacks)

How did he hold them?

OK, that is totally bizarre but I don't think I would stop being friends with her over it, I would probably just not hang out at my house.

We don't usually hang out at my house. This happens even we we're just out and about. For instance, we both needed to go to the store, so we went together. I had my shopping list in a little flip notebook and she asked if she could write hers in there too. I said "sure" and just tore her page out. She was insulted that I didn't tear my page out and let her have the notebook.

OP I'm curious, have you ever been at her house and shown up with a big bag just to recollect your stuff in front of her saying, "Well I'm glad you enjoyed my things but it's time they come back home, I think they miss me."

Honestly, I don't let her have anything that I would be sorely uncomfortable losing. I have asked for stuff back though (after she's taken it home) and she usually gives it back with no problem. (with a "thanks for letting me borrow xyz")

 

[OceanAnnie]

I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. I wouldn't want to turn my back to do the least little thing because Mrs. Gimme would be taking inventory and filling up bags. OP, it sounds like your friend is very comfortable with you. But I wouldn't be comfortable with her.

I have never known anyone to flat out ask me for what I have. And to ask multiple times and expect to get the items? That's nutsy, nervy, and strange!

I have had people ask me where I got something, but that is the extent of it. I don't have any problem with that.

 

[S. C.]

I would never let her in my house again.

But, if you choose to continue this relationship, how about offering to sell the items to her.....and not making it cheap!

"Sure, it's your for $40"

"But I don't want to buy it!"

"Well, how do you think I got it?"

"Thats more than it cost at the store!"

"Yeah, but my time in going to the store, shopping and selecting it is worth money also, and that's my rate....or you can go to the store!"

 

[hereyago]

You have a couple options here: totally cut her off no more friendship

You yourself grow a spine (there is one thing to be nice and want to help people out, but as you have seen some people will take that for weakness) tell her to shut her pie hole, you arent going to give her jack, have a come to Jesus thing with her and scare her.

Continue to be a jellyfish but not complain about people walking over you when you enable them, because for those who won't enable, it makes it harder when there are people who do. so just stop it now.

 

[Planogirl]

You could offer to sell the items to her. Be sure to make a profit if she agrees.

 

[hereyago]

You could offer to sell the items to her. Be sure to make a profit if she agrees.

 

[stepmommyof1]

I would totally ignore the request and talk about the item instead.
Like this:
"can I have that pink ball?"
"that's my dads therapy ball."
"but could I have it? My son would like it"
"my dad does his therapy with that ball"
"but you have other balls, can't I have it?"
"yes we have others, those are for my kids to play with, but we were lucky to find this one because it's exactly what we need for dads therapy."
...you never even acknowledge that she's asking for it, you just re-state your use of it over and over til she realizes she is being ignored.
I would do that with everything; and NEVER begin the sentence with "sorry, you can't..." because then you would be acknowledging her rude question- so instead, just make a statement that you are using it:
"can I have these frozen fish sticks?" "my family is eating those for dinner tonight."
"can I have this box of macaroni?" "we are eating those with dinner"
"can I have this oatmeal?" "that's my daughters breakfast"
"my son needs a bike helmet can he have this one?" "my child wears that when she rides her bike"
"can I have these potholders?" "I use those when I get food out of the oven"
She will see that you bought these things because you needed to USE them.

 

[lovetoscrap]

I would totally ignore the request and talk about the item instead.
Like this:
"can I have that pink ball?"
"that's my dads therapy ball."
"but could I have it? My son would like it"
"my dad does his therapy with that ball"
"but you have other balls, can't I have it?"
"yes we have others, those are for my kids to play with, but we were lucky to find this one because it's exactly what we need for dads therapy."
...you never even acknowledge that she's asking for it, you just re-state your use of it over and over til she realizes she is being ignored.
I would do that with everything; and NEVER begin the sentence with "sorry, you can't..." because then you would be acknowledging her rude question- so instead, just make a statement that you are using it:
"can I have these frozen fish sticks?" "my family is eating those for dinner tonight."
"can I have this box of macaroni?" "we are eating those with dinner"
"can I have this oatmeal?" "that's my daughters breakfast"
"my son needs a bike helmet can he have this one?" "my child wears that when she rides her bike"
"can I have these potholders?" "I use those when I get food out of the oven"
She will see that you bought these things because you needed to USE them.

I love to talk but for me this would be waaaaaay to much information for me to use to deal with this situation.

"Can I have x" No (1)
"But I really want it" No (2)
"You don't really need it" No (3), and Goodbye

If you have never read 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan then that might help . It is for child discipline but the theory works with so much more than kids. The more you engage the more they think that means they can just try to talk you out of it. All OP needs to say is No, and if it persists then it is time to end the interaction completely. Frankly I would give one "No" then maybe a "This discussion is over" and that would be it. Keep pushing and it is time for you (or me) to leave.

She kind of sounds like a kleptomaniac to me-- the way she just grabbed a bag and started putting food into it is beyond strange.

 

[kathie859]

It's time for you to find a new friend 'cause this one isn't "right".

 

[DebbieB]

I think she has a mental problem, seriously. Taking stuff out of your refrigerator is bizzare! It's not like she can't go to the grocery store herself! Growing up, was she a spoiled brat? Sounds like she has an entitlement issue.

 

[EllenFrasier]

No, I don't know anyone like her and I would not know them for long if I did. She sounds like she never grew up! But in her defense, you are not helping her by giving in - ever.
How about next time you are about to enter your house with her, you tell her right up front "If you see anything you like, it's mine. If you see anything someone you know would like, it's mine. If it is in my house in any way shape or form, it's mine. It will still be mine when you leave this house. Understand?"
See if she gets what you are saying.
I would also give her a dose of her own medicine. Go to her house with her. Admire something and ask her if you can have it. Open some cabinets and start shopping around. Maybe she won't like it so much when she is the one supplying the goods!

 

[Promomx2]

Two things pop in my mind. 1) Put labels with your name of everything. 2) Go to her house right after she leaves your house and do what she does and take back your things.

 

[roscoepc1]

Sure. They're known as "thieves"...and I wouldn't have one as a friend if you paid me. She had zero intention of asking the day in your kitchen if you hadn't caught her red-handed...she's a thief.

I haven't read the rest of the thread, so maybe I'm behind now, lol....