Anyone else know someone like this?

[Katie's Butterflies]

Anytime a certain friend comes over, she sees something she likes (book, movie, food etc.) and asks me if she can have it. When I say no, she tries to guilt me into giving it to her.

For example, a couple of days ago we made a quick stop at my house and she spotted a big pink ball. (You know the big cheapy ones from Target.) She immediately gushes over it and asks if she can have it for her son. I explained that it was my dad’s (We’re using it to try and help him regain some control over balance and his gross motor skills). She sighed and said “but my son REALLY- REALLY likes balls!” I should have said “well they’re $2 at target.” Instead, I gave her a smaller ball that we had gotten but found out we couldn’t use. (too heavy) She then said that her son would love both balls. “too bad.” She got the hint and we left. (but she complained about not getting the pink one)

I always feel awkward when she does this, like I have to justify why I have to keep something that’s mine. She NEVER stops when I say “no you can’t have it” and she does this whining noise (Kind of like Fran from The Nanny) It is so annoying!

Another example, I was in the bathroom (for like 1 minute!) and when I came out, she had grabbed a grocery bag and had started pulling stuff out of the freezer, cupboards, fridge etc. When she saw me, (I was speechless) she asked if she could have it. (and held up the bag). (She had about $50 worth of name-brand items. I guess the store brands weren’t good enough for her!)

I guess I should be glad she asked.

Anyone else know someone like this?

 

[Oh Hia]

No. I don't know anyone like that. That's odd and I wouldn't continue being friends with someone like that.

 

[disneykidatheart]

I'm not sure "friend" is the word I would use for her. "User" maybe. I hope you didn't give her the groceries.

 

[minniecarousel]

Anytime a certain friend comes over, she sees something she likes (book, movie, food etc.) and asks me if she can have it. When I say no, she tries to guilt me into giving it to her.

For example, a couple of days ago we made a quick stop at my house and she spotted a big pink ball. (You know the big cheapy ones from Target.) She immediately gushes over it and asks if she can have it for her son. I explained that it was my dad’s (We’re using it to try and help him regain some control over balance and his gross motor skills). She sighed and said “but my son REALLY- REALLY likes balls!” I should have said “well they’re $2 at target.” Instead, I gave her a smaller ball that we had gotten but found out we couldn’t use. (too heavy) She then said that her son would love both balls. “too bad.” She got the hint and we left. (but she complained about not getting the pink one)

I always feel awkward when she does this, like I have to justify why I have to keep something that’s mine. She NEVER stops when I say “no you can’t have it” and she does this whining noise (Kind of like Fran from The Nanny) It is so annoying!

Another example, I was in the bathroom (for like 1 minute!) and when I came out, she had grabbed a grocery bag and had started pulling stuff out of the freezer, cupboards, fridge etc. When she saw me, (I was speechless) she asked if she could have it. (and held up the bag). (She had about $50 worth of name-brand items. I guess the store brands weren’t good enough for her!)

I guess I should be glad she asked.

Anyone else know someone like this?

no - and she would no longer be a friend of mine.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I'm not sure "friend" is the word I would use for her. "User" maybe. I hope you didn't give her the groceries.

Oh goodness no. It took me about 10 minutes to put everything away. I'm still not sure how she pulled out the goodstuff that quickly. It's like she had a sensor or something.

 

[happygirl]

She sounds like a mouch so?

 

[postage stamp]

NO WAY!

I have had friends ask to BORROW a book or a movie or a CD or a game or something. BORROW. Not HAVE. And I've always gotten my things back from my friends.

My best friend might call if I'm going to her house for dinner and say "Hey I forgot to get vegetable oil/refried beans/something do you have any and can you bring it with you when you come over?" But to me her using a 1/4 cup of my vegetable oil or a can of beans is in a different league than asking to KEEP MY (insert nasty word for stuff here)!

 

[Cinderella94]

She is acting like a 5 year old.

 

[Nancy F]

That Chick has a problem! I wouldn't have her over if she was going to act like that. Glad she's not my friend. (and I'd give a stray cat a kidney).
Nancy

 

[diznygirl]

OMG! No, and I'm glad I don't. We wouldn't be friends for long, that's for sure!!

Repeat after me: "Go buy your own!!!"

 

[postage stamp]

Oh, and when she said "but my son REALLY- REALLY likes balls!” I:

A) would have had to stifle the giggle coming out of the 10 year old in me and

B) Would have said "Well my dad REALLY REALLY likes not falling down, OK? Thanks!"

 

[lizabu]

No way...that's crazy...who does that? Next time she asks if she can have something say sure they sell them at X store. You can buy one whenever you want

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, but I would not be friends with someone like her.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I really don’t understand her when she does this.
She’s actually a nice person. This just makes me go
I have asked her why she does this and she just shrugs and says “because I like xyz.” She really doesn’t understand that it makes me uncomfortable (I have told her) and it’s not ok.

I know I need to stop being an enabler and just say she can get xyz wherever. It just really surprises me whenever she does this.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Oh, and when she said "but my son REALLY- REALLY likes balls!” I:

A) would have had to stifle the giggle coming out of the 10 year old in me and

B) Would have said "Well my dad REALLY REALLY likes not falling down, OK? Thanks!"

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I really don’t understand her when she does this.
She’s actually a nice person. This just makes me go
I have asked her why she does this and she just shrugs and says “because I like xyz.” She really doesn’t understand that it makes me uncomfortable (I have told her) and it’s not ok.

I know I need to stop being an enabler and just say she can get xyz wherever. It just really surprises me whenever she does this.

Nice people do not do this.

A person is what they do. She is someone who is trying to rip you off. See her for who she really is.

She is hoping to wear you down so she can use you.

 

[bdcp]

Friend, No. Immature, yes. User, definitely. Tell her what people own isn't hers for the asking. If she were my "friend" I would tell her if she plans on doing that again, she can leave and not come back. BTW, I wouldn't have given her any ball and I would have flat out told her no. This is not normal behavior. She sounds like she has socialization problems of some kind. You shouldn't feel awkward. You could feel angry, but why the heck would you feel awkward when she asks something so out of line?

You do realize why she does this to you, right? It's because you let her.

Are you that desperate for a friend? Because she isn't one.

 

[Cinderella94]

Do you have any mutual friends? Does she do it to them?

 

[MistressMerryweather]

(((ducking))) Not to be mean or snarky at all...but why do you keep giving her the things she asks for...even sometimes? I would not have found her an alternative ball.
It sounds like you need to "re-train" her how to treat you. Right now she is a whiny child who tries to guilt you and beg you into giving her what she wants, and it's because she knows that you will do it sometimes.
You need to find a phrase to use in response to *every time* she does this to you, and say it...over and over an over to her, every time she asks.
Something like, "Sorry, I'm not willing to part with _____ at this time." and then change the subject. If she asks in a different way or says anything else about it..."Sorry, I'm not willing to part with _____ at this time."
"I hear your son loves balls. Sorry, I'm not willing to part with ___ at this time."
And don't give her a reason why. Just the same response every time.
It may take her a few weeks, but she will stop asking when she knows the response to come. LOL

You do realize why she does this to you, right? It's because you let her.

 

[momof1princess]

i'm sorry, but there is something seriously wrong with this person, and not only would i NOT give her anything she asked for, i wouldn't be friends with her any longer. shame on her for asking you to give her something your dad is using for physical therapy, and continuing to ask and complain when you won't give it up! i've got a really un-DIS appropriate phrase for her, but i'll keep it to myself. i USED to have a friend like this-she would ask for things, and if you didn't give it to her, she broke whatever it was, so you couldn't enjoy it anymore. we didn't remain friends very long.