Anyone Else Have A First Child Off To College?

[luvndisney358]

My oldest daughter, not yet 18, is headed to college soon. While she isn't going far, It's really been making me blue because this is so new to me. I have two other teens too right behind her, but the separation anxiety is starting to become a reality.

How have you coped with it if you have? I would love to hear from you, and welcome any thoughts on making this transition easier for Mom mostly! Thanks

 

[EdiePA]

but my baby!! DS#2 leaves for Penn State on August 28th. We've pretty much got all of his stuff purchased and he is so ready to go.

When DS#1 left two years ago, I was feeling pretty down, too, so I tried to focus on him. Really, think about how you have prepared your daughter to be able to do this, what a wonderful person she is becoming, and how much you enjoy this stage of her life. I love how I can talk to my sons and share opinions, etc. They're great people!

Too, when I faced this with DS#1, my then husband of 21 years decided that he was leaving, too. So, I faced a lot of changes. Is there something that you've given up doing for your children? Is there something that you love and haven't had the time to do? I rediscovered the joy of music (piano and voice) and joined a book club.

So, I'm really facing the completely empty nest this year and you know what? I'm excited! I think it's all in your perspective. I can clean up the den and it will stay that way for more than a day!! Of course, what I'll do with the shotput that has taken up residence in the corner, I don't know!! <grin>

Good luck! PM me anytime -- I'm a good listener!

Hugs,
Edie

PS - Start buying funny cards and planning on care packages for your daughter! I love sending stuff to them!

 

[kramer_clan]

I am having no problems with my older girls. My oldest is 24 and the next is 17 and graduating from high school next spring. I think it has to do with the fact that they are still at home, LOL.

My son, now 14, starts high school in two weeks. I am more upset about my youngest. Go figure.

Vicki

 

[RNMOM]

I think I know just what you mean. My oldest DS went into the army in July. Wow. That was the hardest day of my life. I cried a bunch and then the next day I woke and felt okay. I still miss him and glad I got to talk to him on Monday. He seems okay and even told me he loves me. Long time since hearing that from my big tough kid.

 

[amid chaos]

DD wil be leaving in 10 days for her first eyar, my oldest..

 

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by luvndisney358
.....I would love to hear from you, and welcome any thoughts on making this transition easier for Mom mostly! Thanks

This may be of a little help, luvndisney, though may give a few tears also (good ones though).

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?threadid=68124&perpage=15&pagenumber=1

Try and listen in when it is rebroadcast 2 weeks from today, 10 AM, your time in NJ, a real classic for moms/dads of college bound first timers.

A big {hug} for you and all the others feeling those pangs of letting go.

 

[jsmith]

We leave on Tuesday to take our oldest to school.-He is going to Clemson University-1600 miles away from Colorado. I know he will be fine, but he is my best friend and its very hard for me to have him leave. Then I get to come home and send my baby off to high school. August is a crappy month!

 

[FOJMO]

This will be us next year! Carly has just started her Senior year in HS this week. College applications are going to filled out very soon and she's hoping to go to UNC in Charlotte. We are in Tampa! She does NOT want to go to a Florida school. She might
change her mind and she might not get accepted where she wants to, so who knows?

She is our only child -- adopted from Korea at 4 mos old. Seems like just yesterday...

It will be extremely hard. We are planning a trip to Hawaii next year, just after HS
graduation for the 3 of us and a friend of hers. May be our last family vacation.

Good luck to all of you with exiting children this year -- next year, when Carly's leaving, maybe you can report back and let me know how it went for you and offer some encouraging words.

 

[Carole]

luvndisney358,

Our DD is getting ready to start her second year at a college about 4 hours away. E-mail and MSN messenger are great - we can stay in contact almost every day. Also, having cell phones with unlimited long distance and weekends really helps.

Send a few care packages to her - it's fun putting them together and she'll love it.

Good luck!

 

[Jeannie]

No advice here, but you sound just like me! I'll be sending my older DD, not yet 18, off to college in a few weeks, too. She's staying in NJ, but 2+ hours away. Is your DD also staying in state?

{{{hug}}} You're not alone!

Jeannie

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

I sent my oldest off to Marine boot camp November of last year. I literally thought I would die those first two weeks. I cried until I was sick but then I got his first real letter and the void left by his exit started to fade. Please know you aren't alone in letting go of your firstborn it is much more traumatic than I thought it would be. Geez, his sister is a junior this year I don't even want to think about her leaving home!

DS came home to heal from a minor injury in April. We will be sending him off to Marine boot once again soon (he is determined to be a Devil Dog) but I think I'm gonna handle it just fine this time!

Those kind of pains just have to be soothed with time. Good luck to each and every one of you who are sending a bird out of the nest.

 

[Chattyaholic]

Not this year, but four years ago my DD went off to college and it was HARD on both of us! She went to Central Michigan University, which is only about a 30-minute drive from where we live so she came home EVERY weekend but it was still really, really hard to let her go. We had always been close and she was basically a home-body. We both cried when we said good-bye in her dorm. She had a really hard time adjusting because her best friend from high school was supposed to be her roommate but at the last minute she couldn't go to college, so my DD had the room to herself. Her two suite-mates had boyfriends on campus so they immediately split and left her in the room alone, on her very first night, so that was hard for her to deal with. I remember many phone calls home. We had an arrangement with the phone company that she could call home (it was long distance) any time she wanted and it would be automatically charged to our home phone. It took her a couple of months to really "settle in" and begin to make friends but she still wanted to come home every weekend, and at Christmas she decided to move back home permanently. I didn't mind that at all. She commuted the rest of the year, and the following year.

But, then she got married three years ago and I had to give her up all over again! She lives just a quarter mile down the road so I still get to see her often though. I did adjust to her being gone a second time, and like another poster mentioned, you can clean and it will STAY that way!

My only advice for you is allow your DD to spread her wings, it will be hard for you, I know. Keep yourself busy, maybe get involved in some new things, make some new friends, take time for yourself to do fun things. But, keep in touch with your DD either by phone, e-mail, snail mail, etc. Make up care packages to send her, mail funny cards to her every now and then. Before you know it I bet you'll be adjusted. Good luck!! ((hugs))

 

[Ranatra]

I went thru this last year with my youngest, my only daughter. When her brothers went off to college, I was sad, but I still had her at home. She was 5 hours away, in Philadelphia. Hugging her goodbye and pulling out of the parking lot was the hardest. I cried and cried. What got me thru it was talking to her Every evening. She'll be going back soon to start her second year. I'll miss her SO much! I just love having her home! She calls me practically every day and I go visit her as often as I can. (((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))))
Believe me, I know how hard it is to let go.

 

[bsnyder]

luvndisney, I know what you're going through....my oldest left last year.

But it IS neat to see them grow and mature....you'll probably see many changes in your daughter in the next few months! Take pride in her accomplishments and triumphs as she steps out into the world!

And IM and email are just wonderful for being able to keep in touch!

 

[Beast]

Our daughter graduated June 3rd and June 22nd left on a seven-week mission trip to Guatemala.

She returns next Monday evening. She'll be here for seventeen days when she leaves for her first year of college. We're thinking that 500 miles away won't seem nearly as bad as 2000 in a "third-world" country. If something happens, we can get to her in 10 hours as opposed to THREE DAYS.

And like others have said, IM and e-mail will be great.

 

[Snowysmom]

My older son is leaving for UMass Amherst at the end of the month. While I am very proud of him and the young man he has become, I am very sad to see him go and will miss him. (My younger son will be a high school freshman.) He will only be 2 hours away and I know he will come home at least on 3 day weekends but it isn' the same. We will be spending a lot of time on the phone and IM'ing. I will be spending a few days in tears. Best wishes to all who are sending a child off to college.

Candy

 

[christineann]

My son is leaving two weeks from today to go to App State, about 5 hours away. He is ready to go, and I know he will do well, but I will be a crying mess when his younger sister and I drive away (I will do my best to wait until we drive off!) It didn't help matters that he had hernia surgery last week. He works with the police department here and does lots of patrol ridealongs, so I have had to do some "letting go" all ready. Let's check in and compare notes in a few weeks!